MetroidNutQuest 2012
- Thread starter MetroidNut
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>KT: Ponder the newfangled ideas of that Martin Luther guy. Alternatively, complain about everyone getting so worked up over Gutenberg's latest fad; there's no way movable type will ever catch on.
For shame! If not for the fact that he isn't going to be born for almost three centuries, you would give that DASTARDLY HERETIC a STERN TALKING-TO, by which you mean STABBING! As for the other one, MARTIN LUTHER seems like a pretty cool guy.
For shame! If not for the fact that he isn't going to be born for almost three centuries, you would give that DASTARDLY HERETIC a STERN TALKING-TO, by which you mean STABBING! As for the other one, MARTIN LUTHER seems like a pretty cool guy.
>MetroidNut: Apologize for delay.
Sorry, bad week. Can I make it up to you? Here. How about some MASTERWORK ART?
>Martin Luther: fight cops. dont afraid of anything
From me.
I think that's an acceptable 100th panel.
Sorry, bad week. Can I make it up to you? Here. How about some MASTERWORK ART?
>Martin Luther: fight cops. dont afraid of anything
From me.
I think that's an acceptable 100th panel.
>KT: Dig up your water kidney to retrieve it.
You can't remember where you buried the WATER KIDNEY! It's not your fault, of course. It isn't like you had anything small, plantable and BRITISH to identify the WATER KIDNEY'S location! Oh, cruel fortune.
You can't remember where you buried the WATER KIDNEY! It's not your fault, of course. It isn't like you had anything small, plantable and BRITISH to identify the WATER KIDNEY'S location! Oh, cruel fortune.
>KT: All you did was turn around 180 degrees. Just turn around 180 more degrees and dig there.
You currently exist in a featureless, uniform landscape, dotted with not one single LANDMARK, excepting the BRITISH FLAG you already RANSACKED. Any assumption that your position has remained relatively unchanged from panel to panel is just that - an assumption. Perhaps a presumptuous one. Perhaps you have been drifting one meter to the right with each panel? Perhaps you walk one mile between each panel. There is no frame of reference, and thus no way to tell; distance is completely meaningless in this realm.
None of that is true. You're just really stupid and forgot where the WATER KIDNEY was buried in a matter of seconds.
You hear a FAINT WHISPER. It sounds MILDLY INTIMIDATING! It's not intimidating enough to be a RAGING BULL or VICIOUS SAVAGE BEARING PEACEFUL INTENTIONS, no. But it is at the very least a RATHER PERTURBED LAMB or HUNGRY ORPHAN! You really should fortify FORT BOXIA before it arrives!
You currently exist in a featureless, uniform landscape, dotted with not one single LANDMARK, excepting the BRITISH FLAG you already RANSACKED. Any assumption that your position has remained relatively unchanged from panel to panel is just that - an assumption. Perhaps a presumptuous one. Perhaps you have been drifting one meter to the right with each panel? Perhaps you walk one mile between each panel. There is no frame of reference, and thus no way to tell; distance is completely meaningless in this realm.
None of that is true. You're just really stupid and forgot where the WATER KIDNEY was buried in a matter of seconds.
You hear a FAINT WHISPER. It sounds MILDLY INTIMIDATING! It's not intimidating enough to be a RAGING BULL or VICIOUS SAVAGE BEARING PEACEFUL INTENTIONS, no. But it is at the very least a RATHER PERTURBED LAMB or HUNGRY ORPHAN! You really should fortify FORT BOXIA before it arrives!
>KT: Eat templar for sustenance.
What are you, some kind of BARBARIAN!? You cannot EAT YOURSELF without SALT!
What are you, some kind of BARBARIAN!? You cannot EAT YOURSELF without SALT!
>KT: Forget your theoretical sword! Run screaming towards the LIKELY ORPHAN.
You CHARGE heroically, having elected not to draw your MASTERWORK SWORD for reasons known only to you! You quickly discover something incredibly heartening - a DARK-HUED BUSH, the first thing you have seen in WEEKS that isn't UNIFORMLY GRAY! You collapse to the ground, overcome with JOYOUS EXULTAwaitwhat.
Oh God. Oh God what is that.
Their piercing ogle is a tightly-focused laser boring its way through your psyche; they tear into your very soul, heeding no mind to the sentient creature being ripped apart by their appalling gaze. The crimson abominations begin picking apart your rapidly-fracturing mind. Your darkest secrets are laid bare in front of their searing gaze. You are helpless to resist as every thought that has ever crossed your mind is examined and studied by the horrible, horrible eyes, their intensity matched only by their casual disinterest. For a moment, a window opens to another world, one of unimaginable horrors, and through it, you can see with total clarity the reality of your situation - you are of such pitiful insignificance next to this creature that it is ravaging your mind out of boredom.
YOU FUCKING HATE ORPHANS.
>KT: Auto-Parry.
You are too busy being INCREDIBLY TERRIFIED to AUTO-PARRY the DISCONCERTING OGLE!
You CHARGE heroically, having elected not to draw your MASTERWORK SWORD for reasons known only to you! You quickly discover something incredibly heartening - a DARK-HUED BUSH, the first thing you have seen in WEEKS that isn't UNIFORMLY GRAY! You collapse to the ground, overcome with JOYOUS EXULTAwaitwhat.
Oh God. Oh God what is that.
Their piercing ogle is a tightly-focused laser boring its way through your psyche; they tear into your very soul, heeding no mind to the sentient creature being ripped apart by their appalling gaze. The crimson abominations begin picking apart your rapidly-fracturing mind. Your darkest secrets are laid bare in front of their searing gaze. You are helpless to resist as every thought that has ever crossed your mind is examined and studied by the horrible, horrible eyes, their intensity matched only by their casual disinterest. For a moment, a window opens to another world, one of unimaginable horrors, and through it, you can see with total clarity the reality of your situation - you are of such pitiful insignificance next to this creature that it is ravaging your mind out of boredom.
YOU FUCKING HATE ORPHANS.
>KT: Auto-Parry.
You are too busy being INCREDIBLY TERRIFIED to AUTO-PARRY the DISCONCERTING OGLE!
>KT: Gain courage from a quick prayer.
You don't have enough GOLD for a CHURCH-SPONSORED QUICK PRAYER! MARTIN LUTHER won't come around for another few centuries, remember?
You don't have enough GOLD for a CHURCH-SPONSORED QUICK PRAYER! MARTIN LUTHER won't come around for another few centuries, remember?
>KT: One word: Minigun.
You cannot even believe how incredibly stupid that thought was! This is the MIDDLE AGES and MINIGUNS won't be invented for the better part of a millennium! Why would you even try to use a MINIGUN!?! That is absolutely and patently ABSURD! You have a VAST ARSENAL okay well you have a MASTERWORK SWORD and a ROCK and you have to go and try to use a MINIGUN! In the MIDDLE AGES! As a KNIGHT TEMPLAR! That would make no sense whatsoever, and be completely impossible to reconcile with the PLOT!
All of a sudden a MINIGUN falls from the sky.
>MetroidNut: Wonder why you drew that minigun yourself.
I could've just pulled an image off Google and posted long ago, but noooooooo, I had to go and draw it in GIMP.
You cannot even believe how incredibly stupid that thought was! This is the MIDDLE AGES and MINIGUNS won't be invented for the better part of a millennium! Why would you even try to use a MINIGUN!?! That is absolutely and patently ABSURD! You have a VAST ARSENAL okay well you have a MASTERWORK SWORD and a ROCK and you have to go and try to use a MINIGUN! In the MIDDLE AGES! As a KNIGHT TEMPLAR! That would make no sense whatsoever, and be completely impossible to reconcile with the PLOT!
All of a sudden a MINIGUN falls from the sky.
>MetroidNut: Wonder why you drew that minigun yourself.
I could've just pulled an image off Google and posted long ago, but noooooooo, I had to go and draw it in GIMP.
>KT: Attempt to best the ORPHAN in MORTAL COMBAT.
The MINIGUN is less effective than you had hoped.
The MINIGUN is less effective than you had hoped.