>MN: pick up the dog by the tail and start swinging it around above your head screaming madly as you dive out of dirk's house through a closed window, heck, you should be able to plead insane with a stunt like that!
MetroidNutQuest 2012
- Thread starter MetroidNut
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>MN: Quick, shoot DIRK so the police don't misunderstand!
You're out of REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL BULLETS! And even if you weren't, you're still too busy FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!
You're out of REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL BULLETS! And even if you weren't, you're still too busy FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!
>MN: pick up the dog by the tail and start swinging it around above your head screaming madly as you dive out of dirk's house through a closed window, heck, you should be able to plead insane with a stunt like that!
Why the fuck would you even think that oh god oh god oh god
Why the fuck would you even think that oh god oh god oh god
>MN: Realize that the police sirens have stopped, not because of the police's arrival, but because the ritual has transported Dirk's dwelling, and all within it, to a strange and magnificent world full of all kinds of unknown wonders and beauty.
Have an extra long command to make up for my lack-of-internet imposed exile.
Also:
>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.
Have an extra long command to make up for my lack-of-internet imposed exile.
Also:
>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.
lant the gun on DIRK, then make a break for it. no sense being arrested for killing a dog you didn't even know.
>MN: Realize that the police sirens have stopped, not because of the police's arrival, but because the ritual has transported Dirk's dwelling, and all within it, to a strange and magnificent world full of all kinds of unknown wonders and beauty.
You stop FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT as you experience a startling revelation: you have left the mortal world (and the POLICE) behind. The mysterious ritual, gleaned from the darkest corners of the INTERNET, can only have propelled you into a NEW DIMENSION. Clearly, it will soon be revealed to you that the fate of the world if not the very universe lies in your hands! No doubt you are soon to embark on a truly epic ADVENTURE, filled with swashbuckling ACTION, intriguing MYSTERY and tumultuous ROMANCE! You can barely contain your excitement!
You hear the POLICE kick down the DECIDEDLY EARTH-BOUND FRONT DOOR.
>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.
You cannot be DIRK PACE, because he isn't a PLAYABLE CHARACTER! He takes your suggestion under consideration regardless, however. He goes ahead and warns his PAST SELF to bug out and hide his many copies of LASCIVIOUS ANIME LADIES before the POLICE find them!
It's not like they're ILLEGAL or anything, of course. Just...creepy.
You stop FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT as you experience a startling revelation: you have left the mortal world (and the POLICE) behind. The mysterious ritual, gleaned from the darkest corners of the INTERNET, can only have propelled you into a NEW DIMENSION. Clearly, it will soon be revealed to you that the fate of the world if not the very universe lies in your hands! No doubt you are soon to embark on a truly epic ADVENTURE, filled with swashbuckling ACTION, intriguing MYSTERY and tumultuous ROMANCE! You can barely contain your excitement!
You hear the POLICE kick down the DECIDEDLY EARTH-BOUND FRONT DOOR.
>DP: Use your unnaturally hard skull to recover from your affliction of unconsciousness. Freak out upon observing that you are currently residing on your floor, your neighbors being a recently deceased dog and a gun-toting maniac who broke into your house. React accordingly.
You cannot be DIRK PACE, because he isn't a PLAYABLE CHARACTER! He takes your suggestion under consideration regardless, however. He goes ahead and warns his PAST SELF to bug out and hide his many copies of LASCIVIOUS ANIME LADIES before the POLICE find them!
It's not like they're ILLEGAL or anything, of course. Just...creepy.
>MN: Plant the gun on DIRK, then make a break for it. No sense being arrested for killing a dog you didn't even know.
You think it's a little late to be doing any GUN-PLANTING! As for the DOG, of course you knew it! Though it was fraternizing with the enemy, it was still your UGLY DOG! Just thinking about it makes you want to burst into tears. Manly, manly tears.
But this is no time for tears, this is the time for ESCAPE! The POLICE are hot on your tail, you've committed several REAL AND PERFECTLY ILLEGAL CRIMES, and you're totally defenseless to boot! The only logical recourse is to flee out the BACK DOOR...and into the cold, unfeeling night.
The BACK DOOR is locked.
You think it's a little late to be doing any GUN-PLANTING! As for the DOG, of course you knew it! Though it was fraternizing with the enemy, it was still your UGLY DOG! Just thinking about it makes you want to burst into tears. Manly, manly tears.
But this is no time for tears, this is the time for ESCAPE! The POLICE are hot on your tail, you've committed several REAL AND PERFECTLY ILLEGAL CRIMES, and you're totally defenseless to boot! The only logical recourse is to flee out the BACK DOOR...and into the cold, unfeeling night.
The BACK DOOR is locked.
>MN: Hit DIRK'S BACK WINDOW with the REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER to break it open, and exit through the BROKEN WINDOW it will become. Watch the glass, and yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you exit.
>MN: Hit DIRK'S BACK WINDOW with the REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER to break it open, and exit through the BROKEN WINDOW it will become. Watch the glass, and yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you exit.
You throw your REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER out the window. Huh. Looks like the glass was already broken. Probably a result of DIRK's obsession with SHITTY ANIME SWORDS.
You are no longer ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
You yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you prepare to exit the premises. The POLICE, startled by your absurd claims that they are watching you, begin SCURRYING HASTILY towards the KITCHEN! Looking back for a moment, you see the barrel of a gun glinting in the CRUEL INCANDESCENT BULBS!
Continue escape attempt? (Y/N)
You throw your REAL AND PERFECTLY LETHAL REVOLVER out the window. Huh. Looks like the glass was already broken. Probably a result of DIRK's obsession with SHITTY ANIME SWORDS.
You are no longer ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
You yell out the phrase "I know you're watching!" as you prepare to exit the premises. The POLICE, startled by your absurd claims that they are watching you, begin SCURRYING HASTILY towards the KITCHEN! Looking back for a moment, you see the barrel of a gun glinting in the CRUEL INCANDESCENT BULBS!
Continue escape attempt? (Y/N)
>MN: Yes. Do hurry now.
>Dirk's Sister: Be sure to make backup copies of the tapes of all of this -- the police might want some evidence.
>Dirk's Sister: Be sure to make backup copies of the tapes of all of this -- the police might want some evidence.
>Y
By the power of DEMOCRACY, you elect to ignore the threat of DUEDLY FIREARMS and continue your escape!
And, well...
As it turns out...
You have chosen...
Poorly.
You are lying in DIRK'S BACKYARD. You are BLEEDING PROFUSELY from a GUNSHOT WOUND in your LOWER TORSO. You can hear the POLICE in DIRK'S HOUSE slowly approaching the WINDOW you recently leaped through.
By the power of DEMOCRACY, you elect to ignore the threat of DUEDLY FIREARMS and continue your escape!
And, well...
As it turns out...
You have chosen...
Poorly.
You are lying in DIRK'S BACKYARD. You are BLEEDING PROFUSELY from a GUNSHOT WOUND in your LOWER TORSO. You can hear the POLICE in DIRK'S HOUSE slowly approaching the WINDOW you recently leaped through.
>Knight Templar: Arrive holding the HOLY GRAIL. Taunt MN with the promise of the chalice's healing prowess.
Or,
>Secret Passage (Luckily hidden beneath the patch of grass our wounded protagonist finds himself sprawled across): Spontaneously open.
Or,
>Secret Passage (Luckily hidden beneath the patch of grass our wounded protagonist finds himself sprawled across): Spontaneously open.