Microdamus has seen the Future...

[Microdamus]

Microdamus knows the future of games, for he has seen it. By mysterious mystical methods, Microdamus knows everything that will happen in gaming until the end of time.

Microdamus is certain of what he has seen, and has chosen to bring his words of prophecy to the Escapist. Four great truths have appeared for you.

1. The first-ever full immersion gaming technology will be introduced in the wake of Fallout 5. Kong. Kong never changes. The full immersion Donkey Kong will feature haptic feedback and bananas that actually taste like bananas.

2. Earth's mightiest hero will return to gaming in this console generation. Captain Planet: Free Energy Adventure shall mark the death of the once powerful Wii. Mullets will return to popular fashion for half a generation.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone will follow the lead of Vin Diesel, to star in their own game of the next generation. Booby Death Explosion will feature the actors as the breasts of an aging female lead, Barbara Cougar. Gameplay is based around running away from explosions and nonsensical one-liners. It's greatest success will be found in Japan, where the title will confuse most gamers into buying an otherwise terrible game.

4. The harsh reality of Oregon Trail at last forms the basis of a feature film. Uwe Bolle Presents: Oregon Trail will spawn many sequels, but most people will watch it for the hunting sequences.

The future is clouded, always changing. Microdamus now offers his powerful insight to you. Have you ever wondered what will happen to games? Ask Microdamus, and all shall be revealed.

 

[Aura Guardian]

If this is a joke, it's pretty funny.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

WTF????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[kommando367]

I'll hold you to that, provided your not dead by the time fallout 5 comes out.

 

[xChevelle24]

Microdamus knows the future of games, for he has seen it. By mysterious mystical methods, Microdamus knows everything that will happen in gaming until the end of time.

Microdamus is certain of what he has seen, and has chosen to bring his words of prophecy to the Escapist. Four great truths have appeared for you.

1. The first-ever full immersion gaming technology will be introduced in the wake of Fallout 5. Kong. Kong never changes. The full immersion Donkey Kong will feature haptic feedback and bananas that actually taste like bananas.

2. Earth's mightiest hero will return to gaming in this console generation. Captain Planet: Free Energy Adventure shall mark the death of the once powerful Wii. Mullets will return to popular fashion for half a generation.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone will follow the lead of Vin Diesel, to star in their own game of the next generation. Booby Death Explosion will feature the actors as the breasts of an aging female lead, Barbara Cougar. Gameplay is based around running away from explosions and nonsensical one-liners. It's greatest success will be found in Japan, where the title will confuse most gamers into buying an otherwise terrible game.

4. The harsh reality of Oregon Trail at last forms the basis of a feature film. Uwe Bolle Presents: Oregon Trail will spawn many sequels, but most people will watch it for the hunting sequences.

The future is clouded, always changing. Microdamus now offers his powerful insight to you. Have you ever wondered what will happen to games? Ask Microdamus, and all shall be revealed.

For about 5 straight minutes I was asking myself the question: "Who the FUCK is Microdamus? Is that like a stupid rip off of a Judas Priest song?" Then I looked at your username and had a strange epiphany.

 

[Fraught]

I don't know if I should go along with it, or call you crazy.

 

[Kinguendo]

Microdamus knows the future of games, for he has seen it. By mysterious mystical methods, Microdamus knows everything that will happen in gaming until the end of time.

Microdamus is certain of what he has seen, and has chosen to bring his words of prophecy to the Escapist. Four great truths have appeared for you.

1. The first-ever full immersion gaming technology will be introduced in the wake of Fallout 5. Kong. Kong never changes. The full immersion Donkey Kong will feature haptic feedback and bananas that actually taste like bananas.

2. Earth's mightiest hero will return to gaming in this console generation. Captain Planet: Free Energy Adventure shall mark the death of the once powerful Wii. Mullets will return to popular fashion for half a generation.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone will follow the lead of Vin Diesel, to star in their own game of the next generation. Booby Death Explosion will feature the actors as the breasts of an aging female lead, Barbara Cougar. Gameplay is based around running away from explosions and nonsensical one-liners. It's greatest success will be found in Japan, where the title will confuse most gamers into buying an otherwise terrible game.

4. The harsh reality of Oregon Trail at last forms the basis of a feature film. Uwe Bolle Presents: Oregon Trail will spawn many sequels, but most people will watch it for the hunting sequences.

The future is clouded, always changing. Microdamus now offers his powerful insight to you. Have you ever wondered what will happen to games? Ask Microdamus, and all shall be revealed.

For about 5 straight minutes I was asking myself the question: "Who the FUCK is Microdamus? Is that like a stupid rip off of a Judas Priest song?" Then I looked at your username and had a strange epiphany.

Was it that it is a play on Nostradamus, the man famous for vague predictions that may or may not have come true? Cos' that is what this name is based on.

 

[tendo82]

Microdamus,

Is Microsoft and Molyneux's Milo the first sign of the Gameocalypse?

 

[Anachronism]

Microdamus,

Is Microsoft and Molyneux's Milo the first sign of the Gameocalypse?

Surely you mean Arcadeocalypse?

Oh, God! Milo is the first stage of Polybius!

 

[ioxles]

Dear Microdamus,

I have also seen the future of games, but not through mysterious methods. Oh no.

I have built a device, A 2 way "mirror" shall we say, that; through the transperambulation of pseudo-cosmic antimatter has revealed the future to me.

I couldn't get any sound going but I think they were still waiting for the new Duke Nukem...

 

[bodyklok]

Microdamus, Nostradamus, predictions. I see what you did there.


As if it wasn't already obvious

 

[Gerazzi]

Microdamus, Nostradamus, predictions. I see what you did there.


As if it wasn't already obvious

You should put a spoiler around your white text.

You forgot about the Dalek 64 Entertainment System, Microdamus. That one's gonna be big in London, and I'm already saving up for my D64ES

 

[bodyklok]

Microdamus, Nostradamus, predictions. I see what you did there.


As if it wasn't already obvious

You should put a spoiler around your white text.

Why? Then it would be so obvious that anyone could see it, at lest when it's just white text theres a chance no one will notice. However if you put it in a spoiler box people will click on it out of curiosity and then start looking in said spoiler box to find what is within it. Thus negating the any reason for even putting it in white text in the first place.

 

[bodyklok]

Why is this stickied? LOL

Good question...

 

[Red Right Hand]

Microdamus, Nostradamus, predictions. I see what you did there.


As if it wasn't already obvious

You should put a spoiler around your white text.

Why? Then it would be so obvious that anyone could see it, at lest when it's just white text theres a chance no one will notice. However if you put it in a spoiler box people will click on it out of curiosity and then start looking in said spoiler box to find what is within it. Thus negating the any reason for even putting it in white text in the first place.

Well it doesn't matter now because anyone who reads Gerazzis post is gonna know theres text there, therefore ruining it in the first place. BTB you did fool me!

 

[Diablini]

Also there will be a massive pandemic of the Windows variation, millions will die wondering why all the comfortable things will be cut.

 

[Microdamus]

Why is this stickied? LOL

Microdamus may only see the future, not the present.

Dear Microdamus,

I have also seen the future of games, but not through mysterious methods. Oh no.

Foresight is a gift best kept in the hands of few. Beware the ones known to be Keepers of Lost Games.

Microdamus,

Is Microsoft and Molyneux's Milo the first sign of the Gameocalypse?

Milo is actually the second sign of the coming Gameocalypse. The first was R.O.B. in 1985. The signs are not revealed in rapid succession, as one might think. Take heed, for creepy child simulation is at hand.

In the sixth age of iPhone shall come a great destructor. He shall herald an age of many cutscenes and discontent. Millions will burn of the console. The dark age of gaming will last two generations, to be followed by a great beacon of hope squandered by irreverent hands. The final Haired Potsmith shall cast a great shadow over gaming. Many will be called against the beast, and the effort shall be wasted on endless swarms of Nazi zombies.