Moar Food!: Faux Pas that drive you crazy.

[GTwander]

With all the subjects on food you like/hate, how about one where what other people do with their food *insults* you.

Mine:
Ranch dressing on everything!
I have a buddy that puts it in tacos, eggs, pizza, you name it. When I see him do it I get angry enough as is, but one day I damned near popped him one for making the deadly mistake of serving me his granny's amazing pot roast -ruined with a vat of the shit.
Coulda murda'd.

Capcha: round table
Yes, their pizza is awesome (so long as they don't add ranch).

(~and IMO, saying "Hawaiian Pizza" is a cop-out)

 

[White Lightning]

What my one of my friends does to his Hamburgers... I mean... dear god why would you do that?

Or the time my friend took a piece of White Bread and drenched it in Ketchup. I mean, it wasn't even Bread it was... I don't know what it was but it was neither Bread nor Ketchup, it was some kind hybrid of the two but it wasn't either one. I just don't know what it was but there was Ketchup everywhere. It wasn't even ON the Bread it was like... IN the Bread and everywhere else.

Another one is the time my other friend went to the movies, asked for everykind of powdered flavouring on his Popcorn and then filled it with so much butter the Popcorn was floating.

 

[DugMachine]

Ultra chunky sauces. That's not a sauce it's just a diced up tomato ffs and the texture of tomato makes me gag.

People who drown barbecue in sauce. Christ and if you offer me some you better let me pour my own sauce.

Adding too much milk to cereal to the point where the cereal is actually under the surface.

 

[FalloutJack]

(~and IMO, saying "Hawaiian Pizza" is a cop-out)

Hawaiian Pizza is awesome.

Additionally, it's not an insult if other people do what they like to food. It's an insult if they try to do it to MY food.

 

[MajorTomServo]

Bacon on EVERYTHING. I hate the whole damn bacon fad, I'm glad it's on its way out. Stop slowly killing yourself because the internet told you to.

Captcha: It's Super Delicious. NOT YOU TOO, CAPTCHA! D:

 

[Meatspinner]

Half the shit they show on "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives"

"Well-ah let me show yah how I make me mah special sauce. I start with pouring feevteen different ingredients plus a keel-oh of unions in diss ear bowl. Den i pour some jack all over eet and mix with mah spoon until it looks like gray paste"

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Don't care I'mma say it.

Hawaiian pizza.

It's just...

You don't put fruit on pizza.

'Well, technically, tomato is a fru-' You shut the hell up! It's not the same thing! You shut your goddamn heathen mouth before the food gods close it for you.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Not too many ways you can fuck up canned corn.

I die a little when I see people putting sugar in coffee though.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Not too many ways you can fuck up canned corn.

I die a little when I see people putting sugar in coffee though.

I have my coffee strong and bitter, with milk.

My brother does fishfingers/fishsticks in the microwave. It is horrid, they are soggy and the whole house stinks of fish!

 

[JdaS]

A local pizza franchise here in Finland sell Pepperoni Pizza. Just a shame that it comes with Pepperoni and fucking TUNA!!

Another local habit is blue cheese. Keep that shit out of my pizza.

Don't care I'mma say it.

Hawaiian pizza.

It's just...

You don't put fruit on pizza.

'Well, technically, tomato is a fru-' You shut the hell up! It's not the same thing! You shut your goddamn heathen mouth before the food gods close it for you.

This too. Fucking fruit.

Mostly pizza related. I have others but I don't want to ruin my day any further.

 

[BlackStar42]

I once saw someone in a restaurant put ketchup on a roast dinner. YOU DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! That's like putting a moustache on Natalie Portman! Whoever did that, you're bad and you should feel bad!

 

[theSteamSupported]

My granddad takes a huge chunk of cheese wax and puts on his sandwich. I have to look away everytime he does that.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I once saw someone in a restaurant put ketchup on a roast dinner. YOU DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! That's like putting a moustache on Natalie Portman! Whoever did that, you're bad and you should feel bad!

I die a little inside whenever I see that happen.

My granddad takes a huge chunk of cheese wax and puts on his sandwich. I have to look away everytime he does that.

Wut?

You mean, like, the wax they keep cheese in? He eats that?

Why?!

 

[AngloDoom]

Mayonnaise with pizza.

That's...that's wrong. It's not even a matter of opinion, that's just objectively wrong. If you put mayonnaise on your pizza then your pizza should be immediately confiscated and given to the nearest starving tramp: at least they won't mistreat their food.

 

[Archl]

Saté with saté sauce (peanut sauce) and rice is in fact very tasty!

Unless you are like my father or a friend of mine who:

1 eat the saté, leaving a lot of the sauce
2 start mixing sauce and rice until it is a homogeneous brown-with-white-particles mess
3 eat it

I usually just stare speechless... Why would you do that???
It's disgusting!

 

[Rawne1980]

A friend of mine drowns his black pudding in vinegar.

I flicked his ear for it. A bit of salt, some tomato sauce and maybe, just maybe, a tiny bit of vinegar if you are inclined but do not drown it fool.

He does the same to his Tripe as well. I feel like I don't know him some times.

 

[Eleuthera]

Saté with saté sauce (peanut sauce) and rice is in fact very tasty!

Unless you are like my father or a friend of mine who:

1 eat the saté, leaving a lot of the sauce
2 start mixing sauce and rice until it is a homogeneous brown-with-white-particles mess
3 eat it

I usually just stare speechless... Why would you do that???
It's disgusting!

Erm... how else would you eat that combination of food? Finish the saté (and sauce) and just eat dry rice afterward?

 

[Mr Thin]

I'm usually the one committing food faux pas.

For one thing, I like my steak thin, dry & smothered in tomato sauce.

For another, Hawaiian pizza is insanely delicious and you are missing out if you haven't tried it. I don't even like pineapple by itself, or ham; but the two together, on a pizza, good lawd.

In the interests of not dedicating an entire post to insulting myself, I must say it freaks me out when people substitute orange juice for milk in their breakfast cereal.

Stop that orange juice. You are not milk. You are juice. Go back into your carton and be drunk from a glass like normal juice.

 

[Queen Michael]

Using bacon as an ingredient. WHat I mean is when people chop bacon up and put it in sauce or something like that. It should be eaten in intact slices. Don't waste it.

 

[Archl]

Saté with saté sauce (peanut sauce) and rice is in fact very tasty!

Unless you are like my father or a friend of mine who:

1 eat the saté, leaving a lot of the sauce
2 start mixing sauce and rice until it is a homogeneous brown-with-white-particles mess
3 eat it

I usually just stare speechless... Why would you do that???
It's disgusting!

Erm... how else would you eat that combination of food? Finish the saté (and sauce) and just eat dry rice afterward?

Just take a bite from your sate and then some rice. But mixing rice and sauce... that's just wrong.