Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

300

Spartans go to persia. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.

You know it's based on a real battle, the Battle of Thermopylae, right? The film itself might not be exactly truthful to the history, but the premise is stuff that actually happened.

I do understand that but the storyline that the film follows is a terrible one IMO.

Thats because you can't make a storyline out of a battle which lasted maybe a few days and consisted of men standing in a phalanx all day and stabbing anyone who got near it.

 

[Buizel91]

Shark Boy and Lava Girl...

And the Gremlins (Even though i love that film)

So it cant drink water and can't eat after (or before can't remember) 12 o clock unless it gives birth to about 5 mutant gremlins who are evil...

And one becomes a news reporter...

But ignoring them things it is good =D

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

the real mario brothers movie was some ......(lets just say) speechless stuff.

 

[Jark212]

A Syfy Channel movie called: Princess of Mars where the "Princess" is kinda fugly and a martian chick looked 1000x hotter...

I think Pixar is doing their own version...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Carter_of_Mars_%28film%29

 

[hermes]

The Core: The Earth has stop rotating, and the only solution is to dig to the core of the earth and blow a bomb to "restart" it.

 

[Queen Michael]

Wanted.....you should look up the comic it was based on. 100% different. Would have made the film interesting if it was based on the comic 100%.

Exactly. I mean Rictus, for Pete's sake, Rictus! A mention of his name? Really? That's all he's gonna get?

 

[Joe Matsuda]

if its a horror film...or for that matter a romantic comedy...

things usually tend to take a turn down "really? thats the plot?" lane...

...anyways, my vote goes for Snakes on a Plane...I did like it though...in a "this is so stupid its funny" kinda way...

 

[Fraught]

But honestly the most awful plot premise for any movie has to go to whatever Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (team behind that 'Movie' franchise) come up with in every film they make.

It still baffles me how they continue to somehow get funding for their dreadful, dreadful films. They made two last year! Superhero Movie and Disaster Movie! Who keeps giving them money?

Jesus Christ, man.

First, they didn't make Supehero Movie. Second, their movies actually continually perform decently, and exceed the budget, even though they're beyond abysmal.

Also, the movie's tagline describes it perfectly.
"The greatest Superhero movie of all time! (not counting all the others)"

 

[chaos order]

i think that movie already came out... SNAKES ON A PLANE!!

 

[mishagale]

Dear lord, Ctrl-Alt-Delete. I'd never heard of it until about 5 minutes ago. Here's what a friend of mine just told me (chat log):

[21:24:37] D: Control alt delete is a shit film
[21:25:32] D: u seen it?
[21:25:50] Misha Gale: no, never heard of it
[21:25:52] D: it's the guy who plays "sock" in reaper
[21:25:59] D: he's the main character
[21:26:27] D: he's a programmer , who 's working in "1999" , just before millenium count down
[21:26:42] D: he has sex with 2 different girls, but he can't cum.
[21:26:47] D: he's obsessed with porn
[21:27:05] D: then he literally sticks his schlong in his PC
[21:27:34] D: he gets bubble wrap and lubricant, sticks it in his PC, and he has "sex" with it
[21:28:15] Misha Gale: wow, that sounds pretty terrible already
[21:28:21] D: happens at least 3 times or so in the film, and at the end, "Sock" puts his dick inside the whole network board, with the wires and shit
[21:28:38] D: and he pounds it, until he cums and gets electrocuted a little bit

 

[HarmanSmith]

28 weeks later.

"Alright guys, we've repelled the infected and begun rebuilding Britain. Good Job!"
"Hey, this guy wants to see his wife who looks infected. Should we let him in then not watch him?"
"Sure! What could go wrong?"

There was really no excuse for anything after the first 30 minutes happening.

 

[Withall]

Adam Sandlers movies. ALL OF THEM. How his kind of humor is popular, I personally can't understand how his career keeps going. I suppose he's a talented actor, but his comedy is terrible in my eyes.

 

[Sliverwings]

All the Resident Evil Movies (excluding Degeneration)

 

[Anachronism]

First, they didn't make Supehero Movie.

Ok, fair enough. My mistake there; I should have checked Wikipedia before posting that.

Second, their movies actually continually perform decently, and exceed the budget, even though they're beyond abysmal.

With the notable exception of Disaster Movie, which completely tanked at the box office.

 

[Kermi]

Teeth. Personally never seen the movie (and possibly never want to either), but when my friend went 'yeah, vagina with teeth' I knew it was some serious shit.

Good old vagina dentata. It was actually a pretty hilarious film. The girl accidentally bites off the manhood of a rapist, then decides to use her gift to get revenge on every man who wrongs her. I think my favourite part was when this one guy beds her successfully, then when his friend calls during the act decides to brag about it while still inside of her.

She doesn't take it well.

 

[blankedboy]

Up.

/thread, seriously.

 

[zatzie zombie num666]

Two old men are in retirement and are losing their minds. One of them genuinely believes he is Elvis Presley, the other believes he is JFK despite being black (they took out JFK's brain and put it in his head because it'd be the 'last place anyone would look'). Together, they defend their house from a mummy.

iv seen that its brilyent dosnt it suk souls out of pepols asses or something?
ot:shootem up i cant explain but if youv seen it youd know