Most Stupid Plotline

[retsupurae yahtsee]

Now that I think about it, Zelda 2 was incredibly elegant, and really respected its players in its presentation of the plot. Press the start button, and you immediately see the princess, lying in a coma in a central but inaccessible location; you can therefore infer that the goal is to save this princess. Die, and you see that Gannon has been resurrected; you then realize that the other goal is to prevent his return, which presents a larger goal than merely saving a princess. I wish the new games could present the plots so simply and intelligently.

 

[Meatspinner]

Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Probably the worst plot I've played- and I've played CoD games. The story is basically... Conspiracy! This word is meant to fill in the whole plot despite the fact that there is no real suggestion of it until it's brought up.

Spoiler

and then the illumi-feckin-nati? SERIOUSLY?

Basically, I hate it when that C-word is meant to be substitute for a genuine plot.

I honestly would had been disappointed had they retconned DX and left out the Illuminaty.

That's like having a Bioware game without a gay character

 

[Dominic Crossman]

We are overpowered by a billion strong army, what should we do?!
Send John
What? Who?
Him. (Points random dude)
What, just... fine whatever

Every shooter EVER

Yet this forum still loves Half-life so much...

Freeman was at the center of the invasion from the beginning... after all, he's the one who pushed the sample into the anti-mass spectrometer (that is by far the nerdiest sentence I have ever uttered).

From there he was just trying to escape the facility and thanks to the HEV suit he was wearing, he was able to go toe-to-toe with the aliens and marines trying to kill him. His success made him valuable in the eyes of the "G-Man", who decided to ice him for future use in the fight against the Combine.

Mmm... never player half life 1 got to vechile section of half life 2 and got bored
I was thinking more along lines of COD/gears of war/halo/human revolution

...People are going to hate me for not playing half life aren't they?

 

[PBMcNair]

I remember now

Spoiler

it's because ser catryn arrests you after killing howe, unless you fight and kill her that is although I remember she had a lot of archers with her so the fight was a bit one sided.

This really makes me want to play DA again

You can beat her, but you have to kite like crazy, while dealing with archers and...at that point I usually just say screw it and stand down. Besides the breakout/break-in bit is way too much fun, ended up trying to slip in with Morrigan and my dog the first time.

I really wish I could play DA:O as well now, but my laptop will only run DA2.

I'm sad now.

 

[Shocksplicer]

I just went back to the Witcher 2 and once again though that it was so stupid that Geralt was blamed for the killing, same in Dishonored too.

I really think that the bodyguard getting blamed has to be the most stupid plotline in videogames. Bodyguards are not infallible and they have proved themselves loyal to their ruler. Corvo and the EMpress were in love and Geralt had saved the King's life before! I just hate this plotline

Now for the purpose of a thread, what do you think it the most stupid plotline?

Geralt was blamed because people hate Witchers, and since Letho escaped before the guards showed up Geralt was the only suspect.

The people who blamed Corvo for The Empress's death were the ones who KILLED her. They didn't actually believe that he did it, they were framing him.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

No one has said GOW yet?

Fine...

God of War 3. Because it was God of War two. And God of War two wasn't very good either.

In God of War 2, you play the bad guy. What they did against you was justified. You were JUST AS BAD as the Gods you hated. For the EXACT same reasons.

And in God of War 3, no one, especially you, seemed to realize you already did what you wanted to do in God of War 1.

And in God of War 2, you changed the course of history, affectively erasing the timeline in God of War 1, 2 and 3.

Also in God of War 3, you ued a female slave as a door stop but got sky on the trigger when a bratty teenager wanted to do was she was DESIGNED to do. Because... you know... you needed her to open the damn thing... that you already opened before without her...

I didn't play the other sub-god-of-wars, because I was too pissed off at the primary trilogy for pissing all over itself.

Kratos was the physical embodiment of a female teenagers rage at the problems in her life that SHE CAUSED.

God of War = The Most Stupid Plotline I've played.

 

[Boogie Knight]

Having played ME2 and ME3 first before getting to the original... I was a little startled when I saw all the assumptions Shep was making. I figured the stuff about the Reapers and whatnot would have been revealed well into the game as the big twist, but gatdamn before I'm even off the Citadel and playing the real game, we're told about Reapers and their cycle stuff. Wow, that was so clumsy that I was a little too embarrassed to keep playing.

 

[RedDeadFred]

same in Dishonored too.

The Spy Master became in command after the Empress died and if you didn't notice, the government was pretty corrupt. Many of them were involved in the conspiracy, they were just looking for a scapegoat and if the guy who runs the country says the bodyguard who was found over the Empress's corpse is the perpetrator, not many people are going to question it. Ya it's a really easy kind of beginning to default into but it's not like it doesn't make sense.

OT: Guess mine, guess mine!

"Guy starts war because he wants his country to be more patriotic. Then, as he stands over your dying body having just explained his reasoning, he says, "I know you understand." You exclaim loudly to your TV, "are you fucking kidding me?"

 

[Nomanslander]

Bioshock Infinite. As soon as you start messing with time everything stops making any sense. The twist is stupid, if only because it lacks the same impact as the original. I also think the same message could have been brought across without using such a dumb plot device.

The world building, atmosphere and characters were great, it just that the ending felt rather meaningless to me personally.

I kinda want to say this. The game leaves me with mixed feelings now that I know the ending. I feel like Ken Levine ended up suffering from what I'd call the M. Night Shyamalan effect. For Shyamalan, he made one great movie with a now famous twist ending to rival the twist in Empire Strikes Back, and from then on it became a curse because every movie from then on had to have a damn twist ending no matter if it worked or not. Bioshock had a great twist, therefore Bioshock Infinite had to have one too.

The problem with Infinite is it tries too much when it already had something good going for it. Hell, Infamous pretty much had the exact same twist and managed to pull it off infinitely better; Infamous at least made sense and didn't have a boat load of plot holes.

It's a case of trying to much and too hard, and... damn! Bioshock 2's DLC was better than this.

=/

 

[Vigormortis]

Mmm... never player half life 1 got to vechile section of half life 2 and got bored
I was thinking more along lines of COD/gears of war/halo/human revolution

Nah. Half-Life isn't like those. By that I mean Freeman may be a messianic hero-like figure, but he isn't viewed as the "one man army". No one expects him to go in, running and gunning, and defeat all the baddies. He's viewed more like an icon. A figure which everyone can rally around. A goal to strive for. I.E freedom from Combine oppression. (Granted, an icon who miraculously seems to come out of most encounters, no matter how ludicrous, victorious. But then, this is a game series. Have to keep it "exciting".))

That's the case in Half-Life 2, anyway. In the first game Freeman was simply a scientist working at Black Mesa. The only reason he knew how to handle a firearm was because he had had training in the emergency response course; also known as the Hazard Course. (And if you're wondering why a scientific research facility had such a course, it's because it was a military base as well.)

He wasn't some messianic hero in that game. He was simply one of the few civilians within the facility who had passed the Hazard Course with high marks. Thus making him one of the key responders during a crisis situation. He only became a messianic hero in Half-Life 2 because of his actions during the resonance cascade in Half-Life 1. That being, he helped bring an end to the Nihilanth's invasion.

The whole G-man thing is a different story. One that's still open since Valve's only piled on more mystery than answers by this point.

...People are going to hate me for not playing half life aren't they?

Nope. Probably not. I certainly won't, at least.

I'm always curious why people assume that so often around here? A lot of us like Half-Life, sure, but we don't go around hunting down those that don't; waiting to impale them with pitchforks. In fact, it's usually the opposite. The detractors lambast the fans.

To each their own, I always say.

 

[Vigormortis]

I would say a vast number of the RPGs out there.

Most of 'em revolve around some unassuming kid/farm-boy/peasant/etc who finds out he's the "chosen one". He then gets sucked up into a quest either to stop the villain(s) who threaten(s) the kingdom/land/etc or save the "other" chosen-one (princess/wizard/king/etc). All along the way acquiring a quirky, eclectic band of misfits and rogues who strictly adhere to a specific list of one-dimensional personality cliches.

'Course, similar comments can be made about most genres within the medium.

Man...we really need more decent writers in this industry.

 

[LetalisK]

Also...wat. Las Plagas is nothing like the t-virus. Plaga are an actual parasite that takes over the host body (We have parasites that operate like this in real life). Plaga infectees are still living but can only be killed by damaging the Plaga itself. The T-virus just reanimates/mutates the dead. They're completely different things.

Speaking of which, RE5 is the only RE I've played so far. Is it normal for the "zombies" to run around with guns or is that just a Plaga thing?

 

[Carlston]

Hmm.
Pokemon.

You send little kids into a wilderness as young as ten. Hope the family pet defends them again wild animals, while the child travels all over the country side visiting towns who seem to have no real economy, ability to gather food ect ect...

Even worse is if you take the show and plug it in... Kid threesomes with boy girl boy action, towns populated with genetic clones of the same Nurse and Police officer...not to mention "A world we must defend." From what team rocket? The most incompetent losers to ever be villians this side of Higly towns heroes who spent so much time trying to catch one electric rat from a ten year old boy when they could have just gone out and caught their own in 45 minutes.

Btw the way, I know they eat meat. What's the lunch special? The Pigeotto that choked and his trainer sold him to be made into fried bird?

 

[Kopikatsu]

Also...wat. Las Plagas is nothing like the t-virus. Plaga are an actual parasite that takes over the host body (We have parasites that operate like this in real life). Plaga infectees are still living but can only be killed by damaging the Plaga itself. The T-virus just reanimates/mutates the dead. They're completely different things.

Speaking of which, RE5 is the only RE I've played so far. Is it normal for the "zombies" to run around with guns or is that just a Plaga thing?

It's a Plaga thing, although there were only a few enemies who used firearms in RE4 (Guys with miniguns). But the c-virus allows them to use guns as well provided they have some resistance to it (As happens in RE6). Otherwise they just turn into normal dumb zombies. The only Resident Evil game I haven't played is Revelations, but everything I've learned about the game implies that it's basically the earlier Resident Evils done up in modern Resident Evil fashion. IE amazing. If the enemies having guns bothers you at all, I'd recommend you check out Revelations (It's currently on Steam and will be released next month).

 

[josemlopes]

I have to say the whole deal with Ocelot and Liquid's hand in MGS.

Within the valley of over-the-top and (enjoyably) ridiculous stuff that the series holds, that is my one and only pet peeve that I just can't swallow whole.

I came here to say the plotline of MGS Peace Walker, it really goes full retard for the sake of having plot twists.

 

[maninahat]

Bioshock Infinite. Why didn't Elizabeth just teleport herself and Kaiser Soze to Paris?

There is a handwave for that:

Spoiler

She only has limited powers (due to the conduit beneath her chambers), so she doesn't know who Comstock really is, she can't keep the tears open for long, and she has no real desire to leave.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Really? Sonic 2006?
*****, get that weak Stupid Plot shit out of my office. I have the REAL DEAL on Stupid Plot right here...

*Dirge Features:

-An entire military organization that Shinra somehow kept locked under Midgar, completely unnoticed for over a decade
\-Did I mention that said organization somehow built military-grade mechs and helicopters while being supposedly imprisoned by Shinra? Apparently, with enough PLOT MAGIC, even a fully subterranean civilization in poverty can develop an airforce!
\-This is a near-retcon, for the sole purpose of pulling new villains out of nowhere.

-A retarded plotline where the avatar of the planet's energy will start killing everyone if too many people die too quickly, but only if certain kinds of people die too quickly...only it turns out it didn't matter, oh, and it will turn Vincent Valentine into the One True Goth Elemental.

-A mad scientist who, with his dying breath, UPLOADED HIMSELF TO THE INTERNET BY MEANS NEVER DESCRIBED OR EXPLAINED (in any of the FF7 compilation) who then found the head of the aforementioned military organization and convinced him to let the scientist get uploaded to his brain.
\-Bonus points for stupidity: His death was also a retcon.

-A man who fights wearing a straight-jacket and a gag that looks more like a jockstrap on his face. He also kills people by "engulfing them in his inner darkness".

-A 28 year old woman trapped in a 14 year old's body, who is the lead's "romantic interest". How Squicky of you, Squeenix.

-A resistance force comprised entirely of blonde dudes in red beanies.

Spoiler: INCLUDING THIS GUY

[http://s888.photobucket.com/user/AtmosDuality/media/DirgeofCerberus-HardcoreRocketdudeW.jpg.html][/img]

-"Gackt" aka "G" aka "Genesis". In a plotline that will thankfully go nowhere.

 

[Product Placement]

...People are going to hate me for not playing half life aren't they?

Only if you were gonna proceed to claim that this gave you expert knowledge to criticize the game and compare it to shooters that were released over a decade later. Half Life is kinda an important step in the FPS evolution, since it helped introduced allot of mechanics that future titles ended up embracing.

In some aspect, it would be similar to criticize Citizen Kane, because it's too slow paced and boring, when compared to blockbusters of today, failing utterly to understand how important that film was in developing modern day cinematography.

On topic:

Even if it was later fixed with a DLC (which did cost extra money, unless you waited to buy the GOTY edition), the original ending of Fallout 3 has always kinda stuck up there, in my list of silly plot points.

Spoiler: You all know what I'm talking about.

"The purifier is gonna explode, unless either you or me make the ultimate sacrifice and walk into this chamber filled with lethal radiation."
"...but what about the friendly radiation immune super mutant, that's standing right next to me, who, by the way, has already demonstrated his ability to walk into a super toxic room, in a previous mission?"
"IT HAS TO BE YOU OR ME!!!"

 

[Frostbyte666]

As for stupidest plotline... There are so many, but there's one I'm particularly sore about. Star Ocean: The Last Hope. My god, the whole thing with him creating the UP3, Faize's motivations for joining the bad guys, the bad guys themselves, it was all so terrible and cliche and just plain awful. Star Ocean: Till the End of Time's thing with the universe being a simulation wasn't great, but it never particularly bothered me beyond the typical low presentation values in that game, but the storyline of Last Hope was just atrocious.

Ha with you there on last hope although I found the most offensive thing being Edge described as a less potent version of Crowe. My thought was whelp lady you just blew your chances with me since you clearly consider me inferior to the gary stu that is Crowe.

OT: So many annoying plot points to choose from...ah yes my old staple...White Knight Chronicles with:
Everyone: YAY! we rescued the princess lets all give ourselves a pat on the back.
Myself (Brain dead avatar in background): Shouldn't we grab her and get out of here before the bad guys come...oh never mind they grabbed her and legged it.

Repeat x2

I am kind of glad my avatar in that game was clinically brain dead because if he wasn't to begin with he would have been after the 2nd rescue attempt.

 

[TrulyBritish]

You skipped history class for Afghanistan didn't you? That's exactly what happened. America funded the Mujahideen fighters in Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion (although invasion isn't exactly the right word, since the Mujahideen were rebels and the pro-Soviet Afghan government asked the Soviets to help). Those rebels were trained by Osama bin Laden and the Pakistani army. As such, many of them flocked to him when he declared war on the US and re-established a base in Afghanistan. It wasn't exactly the "fight next to them, then turn on them" moment in the game, but then that was inaccurate because there were no American agents fighting in Afghanistan, they were just selling guns to them. Osama and the pakis were the ones training them. And no, the kid became an international crime lord (running guns primarily, not drugs) to seek revenge on America after his sister was burned in a fire started by a group of American businessmen and the CIA assassinates his father. And then his sister is actually killed and that just makes all the hatin' so much easier for him. And the Chinese guy didn't actually know he was being helped by the kingpin.

Yeah it's dumb, but then most all video game plots are just excuses to set the player up for large battles on their own or with a small team. I believe Yahtzee said it best when he said pretty much all video game plots were largely B-movie schlock in terms of story.

Was just about to comment about this, but you've pretty much done it for me. In terms of plot I don't really have much I dislike about Black Ops II (especially after the Modern Warfare series). I was perhaps a little but upset that after they had done a pretty good job of making a villain with a motive other than "I'm evil, so F*ck America" that they basically seemed to be shoe-horning in as many different groups to be the villains as possible.
I mean seriously, you fight the russians again, you mujahideen betray practically instantly, the chinese general seems a bit iffy at times, and if Raul Menendez isn't a more hispanic Anonymous I'll be damned.