Movie Defense Force: Fireproof - The Official White People Problems Movie

[Jimothy Sterling]

Fireproof - The Official White People Problems Movie

Baby Jesus died for our sins, and that's why Kirk Cameron needs to stop wanking.

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[cabalistics]

Our Lord and Saviour Kirk Cameron who just as good as Jesus obviously.

 

[nima55]

They used to make us watch this in school. I hate it so soo much.

 

[Remus]

Here's my reaction to this review, and pretty much any movie with Kirk Cameron - "Jesus" Drink! "Jesus" Drink! ad infiniteum. Does the poor sod not know how to play in anything without a heavy-handed Christian message?

 

[Tanis]

O,u.

My parents LOVE this movie.
Not surprising, given that they're r-wing; Fox News loving; Jesus was white; Xtians, but even THEN...

I mean, I've actually SEEN this movie.
It's bad.

The acting is WORSE than 'God's Not Dead'.
Do you know how HARD that is?

That's like, worse than SyFy original movies bad!

 

[josh4president]

You know how in the intro it says:

"If you came to laugh at bad films, I'm afraid you're out of luck"?

Yeah I think we've gone off message in this series for a while now.

 

[WhiteRat07]

You didn't really defend this. Not that I think you should have

 

[Soulrender95]

I miss the old style MDF, I miss Jim sincerely defending movies which were critically panned.
I know he's probably busy given this months heavy game load, but still.... come on Jim, thinly veiled sarcasm is less entertaining because I can get that pretty much everywhere else on the internet.
I didn't always agree with Jim but it was good to see a different viewpoint on some movies.

 

[Jimothy Sterling]

You know how in the intro it says:

"If you came to laugh at bad films, I'm afraid you're out of luck"?

Yeah I think we've gone off message in this series for a while now.

The lyric is actually "If you CAN'T laugh at bad films," so no. Not off message at all. Just a different way of telling it.

 

[Jimothy Sterling]

"I miss the old style MDF."

Like the one we had before this one?

Christ, you change the formula up now and then, and people think it's the end of days. There's nothing to miss, people. I just do these types of episodes to keep things interesting for me from time to time.

 

[Agayek]

Fireproof - The Official White People Problems Movie

Baby Jesus died for our sins, and that's why Kirk Cameron needs to stop wanking.

Watch Video

White People Problems: The Movie, huh?

Now I kinda want that to be a real thing. Seriously. I'm picturing a Scary Movie-esque parody of these kinds of movies, blatantly self aware and ridiculous, but treated as super-cereal. It would be hilarious.

Somebody make it happen.

 

[Lightknight]

Wait, was this a defense or pure mockery of the movie?

Haha, so funny either way. Oh man, almost cracked at work.

 

[Muspelheim]

That film was so Chrishun that it burned my Bolshevik hide at twenty paces.

You win again, Babby Jesis.

 

[dharmaBum0]

At first I thought it was particularly dumb to take a baseball bat to your old CRT and spread shards of glass all over your lawn.

That's it.

 

[WickedLordJasper]

I've never seen Fireproof before, but from the MDF clip, I got that the movie was overly Christian and written for a strongly religious audience. So that's what makes the movie bad?

 

[josh4president]

You know how in the intro it says:

"If you came to laugh at bad films, I'm afraid you're out of luck"?

Yeah I think we've gone off message in this series for a while now.

The lyric is actually "If you CAN'T laugh at bad films," so no. Not off message at all. Just a different way of telling it.

Really?

I could have sworn you wrote this:

http://i.imgur.com/8kBylHs.png

But seriously, I can't help but feel you're in much better form when you're actually defending a neglected/maligned/hated film instead of just taking something terrible and turning sarcasm mode on. Even in your Mall Rats/'Michael Rooker's Ass episode you at least did mention a few things about the overall feature before descending into frame after frame of jiggly man-buttock.

At this rate you could very well do an episode 'defending' Attack of the Clones by gushing breathlessly about how brilliantly the romantic sub-plot is written and how it artistically elevates the series as a whole with 1950s-style space diners and children acting terribly with buckets on their head.

Do you really want to live in a world where you could actually make a Movie Defense Force of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones?

Is that what you want, Jim?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'm guessing, like Double Dragon, you're not actually trying to defend this one.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Why isnt there a Game Defense Force where he defends games that were deemed shit but in reality are quite good.

 

[WarpZone]

Ugh. So now we've gone the "No Right Answer" route of not knowing whether an episode is ironic or sincere until five jokes into it. It's the shark that never stops jumping itself! That said, this episode was pretty funny, just... have we *really* run out of actually legitimately underrated movies? All of them? Already? Or did some religious freak above you at The Escapist hold a gun against your head and order you to defend this movie or else lose your job?

Overall this episode is fine, I just wish I understood why you made it instead of making a Movie Defense Force.