That's really quite good, definitely one of the best things someone has put in this thread so far. The rap isn't amazing but it's certainly decent, and actually better than quite a bit of stuff I hear in this sort of rap/jazz-lite hybrid genre. The beat's good too, quite listenable. The only real criticism I can think up is that the bassline is just a bit too busy, and it rubs against the rhythm of the jazz guitar loop in a way that is a bit disconcerting. Independently, the two parts sound fantastic, but when everything is playing together it's just a little rhythmically confused. That's because the two parts have different amounts of "swing" on the offbeat, so the effect when combined is like someone is triggering really short delays, it detracts from the beat a little. Mind you, I'm nitpicking. I like the direction you're taking which reminds me of the first Digable Planets album and I think it shows promise and you should try and take your thing even further in that direction. Overall this is nice, and if you lived anywhere near me and my policy was to deal with rap artists I'd probably ask someone to give you a call. No shit.
Oh, and to embed your video, type [yout*ube=Egq0uoAzjdA] (without the star).
I really want to thank you for the opportunity for the listen, and the kind reply. I forwarded this to the instrumentalist of this track, i'm sure he'll be thrilled to read it.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but i am really interested to know how i might be able to improve the rap vocals. From the posts I've read from you regarding hiphop, I can see your insight in the genre.
Otherwise i've got a couple other tracks that are similar in style to that, don't know if you'd be up for a couple more listens. I definately don't expect you to put it before anyone elses submissions in any case.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but i am really interested to know how i might be able to improve the rap vocals. From the posts I've read from you regarding hiphop, I can see your insight in the genre.
The weak link in the chain of what you're doing is the lyrics. Not your vocal delivery - that's actually really good, and I like the whole "crooner" vibe you have going, that's really cool but what you're saying is kind of wishy-washy. Everything else is fine, the concept is good, the beats are there, I like some better than others, but amazing lyrics can make anyone tolerate just about any beat. When I say "amazing lyrics" I don't necessarily mean complex flow, what I'm talking about is cohesion of ideas.
Before a song (in any genre) is anything else, it's an idea. The success of any song can therefore be determined by how well ideas are communicated. That doesn't mean that songs can't be ambiguous or open to interpretation, or have multiple meanings, but after I listen to a song, especially a rap song where lyrics are so important, I should come away with at least some idea of what that song means to me. This may or may not be the same meaning that you were thinking of when you wrote it, that's okay, but I should come away with a strong statement of some kind, especially in rap music.
Now if somebody asked me what your lyrics were about in the two songs you just linked, I honestly couldn't tell them. All I could say is "he likes a girl in the first one but I'm not really sure what he's trying to say about it other than that, and the other one's something about mystery, I guess". In other words, your lyrics don't really communicate a solid statement to me of any particular kind.
I know what you're thinking, so I'll now post an example of how a statement within music can be extremely solid yet ambiguous and open to multiple interpretations:
All pigs must die
This ain't August '69
All pigs must die
Seven on seven, sieg heil sublime
Their trotters are in the mud
They're better off with the Son of God
They had no idea
Not even close, not even near
All pigs must die
This ain't August '69
All pigs must die
Seven on seven, sieg heil sublime
All pigs must die
This is August '99
All pigs must die
Their stolen riches are really mine
Cover their faces in blood
They're better off with the Son of God
All pigs must die
This is August '99
All pigs must die
The law of the claw will make them mine
All pigs must die
That was August '99
All pigs must die
Their stolen riches are truly mine
It's hard to find an example like that in rap music. Rap tends to be very direct, people just come out say what they want to say. I get the feeling that you're trying to create something a bit more subtle and ambiguous, and I think that's a good thing because in rap that's some pretty unexplored territory, however I'd say that you still need to give people who are listening a "way in" to your lyrics. In the above song, it's clear that the artist doesn't like "pigs" very much, and the way into this song is that "I don't like pigs" is an easy concept to grasp, yet by not specifying his target, "pigs" can be whatever the listener wants them to be. The signer obviously has something specific in mind but it doesn't really matter much whether the listener has inside information or not - it's still a very strong idea and almost every listener can still relate to this song on some level.
Hey, these are good. I don't understand the gaming references because I don't play the game in question, but I really don't think you need this thread's help. Just keep doing what you're doing, and maybe try and get it published in some kind of way that you can make money out of it.
Thank you so much! I could only nod my head in agreement as i read down each point you stated.
Definately going to keep that in mind with the future material i make.
I think i've got what i need to kick off my next project, thank you again!
Hey, these are good. I don't understand the gaming references because I don't play the game in question, but I really don't think you need this thread's help. Just keep doing what you're doing, and maybe try and get it published in some kind of way that you can make money out of it.
Right, attempt number 2. Its a newer song, called True Colours.
While this is here, I'd also like to ask your opinion on big labels. I'm hearing a lot of people that I respect (both people I personally know and people that I don't) warning against signing on with major labels such as EMI. I would like to hear your opinion on this, if you are willing to give it.
Right, attempt number 2. Its a newer song, called True Colours.
While this is here, I'd also like to ask your opinion on big labels. I'm hearing a lot of people that I respect (both people I personally know and people that I don't) warning against signing on with major labels such as EMI. I would like to hear your opinion on this, if you are willing to give it.
The song: you realise anyone over 30 reading this is immediately going to think of the Cyndi Lauper track, right? Anyway the bass is a lot better on this track, you've got a more sensible ratio between it and everything else now, which is great. I also really like the ambient sounds. The vocals are better, in that they're more interesting now, and it's good that they're higher in the mix. This is actually sounding pretty good. I guess the decision you've got to make with this now is - how commercial do you want to make it? Really commercial music has vocals right upfront like what you have right now, however the style you're doing isn't really commercial stuff so I'm thinking if you're not trying to be the ambient Justin Bieber maybe back off the volume of the lead vocal just a little and it'll make the track sound just a bit nicer and everything will sit better, because right now that big reverb on your vocal is swallowing up the instruments a bit too much. Your vocal delivery is unusual, but that's not a bad thing, there's one or two wonky sounding bits where you don't quite pitch right like the bit where you sing "True Colours" for the first time at about 1:03 so that's probably worth tidying up the pitch on given that the rest of the piece is so melodic you don't want any tuning mistakes in the vocal if you can avoid them. Have you played the game Osmos? If not, get it on Steam, it's quite cheap and it's got some great music which reminds me a little of what you're doing, and it'll give you some good ideas for mixing, textures etc, it'll also put you onto some good ambient artists you may not have heard before.
As for your other question, I won't comment on EMI specifically but as for major labels in general it pays to be cautious and not just sign any old shit thrown in your face. Get a music industry lawyer to look over anything before you sign, and understand what you want to get out of the deal going into it. Good contracts with major labels are possible, but they're usually attained from an artist already in a good marketing position due to prior success and thus able to wield some negotiating muscle. Unknown artists tend to get shafted because they either know no better, or because the label won't negotiate because their music isn't that special that the label wouldn't just be able to sign some other soundalike artist more willing to play ball.
I'm strongly suggest reading the entirety of my other thread about the music industry if you want to know more (you'll find the URL for it in my profile) because I cover various aspects of this question more than once in that thread. Then if you have further questions, post in that thread, not this one, just for the sake of thread neatness. Cheers.
Well, for two guys that met a year ago and started playing music together about 5 months ago, I feel pretty good about this song. We don't have a drummer yet so the timing might be off. My buddy plays rhythm and lead guitars and I play bass. I realize my bass playing probably isn't very good but I appreciate you taking the time to listen and give any advice you can.
Well, for two guys that met a year ago and started playing music together about 5 months ago, I feel pretty good about this song. We don't have a drummer yet so the timing might be off. My buddy plays rhythm and lead guitars and I play bass. I realize my bass playing probably isn't very good but I appreciate you taking the time to listen and give any advice you can.
Going to ignore the second video cos it's not you on it.
The first one sounded okay, timing's a little ropey but when you get a drummer that problem might fix itself, however I doubt your brother is strumming it correctly because if he was the timing errors just wouldn't be there. Don't mind the basic structure and melody of the song though, but it is definitely far too long for a song that essentially just repeats the same thing, about half its current length would be perfect. Biggest problem is the grunge-style vocals, they are a banned sound in 2011. You need to sing it without that vocal tone if you want anyone to listen to it, and don't tell me that's your natural voice because if there's a whole bunch of people running around with natural voices like that, how come nobody in the entire history of music sung like that before Eddie Vedder did?
The song: you realise anyone over 30 reading this is immediately going to think of the Cyndi Lauper track, right? Anyway the bass is a lot better on this track, you've got a more sensible ratio between it and everything else now, which is great. I also really like the ambient sounds. The vocals are better, in that they're more interesting now, and it's good that they're higher in the mix. This is actually sounding pretty good. I guess the decision you've got to make with this now is - how commercial do you want to make it? Really commercial music has vocals right upfront like what you have right now, however the style you're doing isn't really commercial stuff so I'm thinking if you're not trying to be the ambient Justin Bieber maybe back off the volume of the lead vocal just a little and it'll make the track sound just a bit nicer and everything will sit better, because right now that big reverb on your vocal is swallowing up the instruments a bit too much. Your vocal delivery is unusual, but that's not a bad thing, there's one or two wonky sounding bits where you don't quite pitch right like the bit where you sing "True Colours" for the first time at about 1:03 so that's probably worth tidying up the pitch on given that the rest of the piece is so melodic you don't want any tuning mistakes in the vocal if you can avoid them. Have you played the game Osmos? If not, get it on Steam, it's quite cheap and it's got some great music which reminds me a little of what you're doing, and it'll give you some good ideas for mixing, textures etc, it'll also put you onto some good ambient artists you may not have heard before.
I had to google Cyndi Lauper and True Colours to work out what you meant. I am unfortunately enlightened. Anyway, thanks for the feedback. I certainly can pull-back the vocals, but I've been using a stage mic so far, and I'll wait for a proper recording set-up I ordered to arrive before I work on that. As for genre and texture, I do have Osmos, and that style was certainly an influence on the song. The album that I was actually drawing inspiration on for the sound I was going for was one called 'Glow In The Dark Safari Set' but a group called Isan. But I am not intending this to be the sound on all my music.
BonsaiK said:
I'm strongly suggest reading the entirety of my other thread about the music industry if you want to know more (you'll find the URL for it in my profile) because I cover various aspects of this question more than once in that thread. Then if you have further questions, post in that thread, not this one, just for the sake of thread neatness. Cheers.
Thanks for the advice and just one more question so I can hopefully explain it to my buddy. What do you mean by strumming it correctly? Neither one of us took lessons, we basically taught ourselves how to play. Maybe you could give me a link to show us how to strum correctly. If you could, we would appreciate it.
Thanks for the advice and just one more question so I can hopefully explain it to my buddy. What do you mean by strumming it correctly? Neither one of us took lessons, we basically taught ourselves how to play. Maybe you could give me a link to show us how to strum correctly. If you could, we would appreciate it.
Read post 135 on page 4, where I go into detail about the exact same problem as it relates to somebody else's music. Then let me know if you understand what I'm on about or seek further clarification if you need to.
BonsaiK, first of all, I admire your patience and thoroughness with everyone's demos.
I've recently finished an EP, which i've been getting some good feedback on, and was wondering what you think.
The genre is electronic, i'm never quite sure how to specify further. I suppose my closest big-name inspiration is Flying Lotus.
I'm sorry this isn't a YouTube link, but i was hoping you could give some feedback on the overall package of the EP?
This one is a relaxing house beat that I came up with, I plan on reducing the bass in the future.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9196202/Igloo.mp3
This one is a very rough demo (hence it only being a minute long) of an electro-house song I made up.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9196202/Sucker%20Punch%20Demo%20A.mp3
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