Musical Demo Submission thread

[Shivarage]

Okay, only looking at the vocals here: the good news - you can sing. It's alright. You need to learn control though, you lack pitch control at the extreme ends of your range, especially the low stuff, but in the middle you're doing okay. If I were you, when it comes to writing your own stuff, don't get too ambitious vocally. Sit the stuff right in the middle of the range where you know you can sing it without dramas. Concentrate on singing two or three notes really, really well rather than oversinging it and warbling all over the place. Most pop songs aren't much more than that anyway, and especially with most rock songs you're extremely lucky to get more than three notes. Your voice is good enough to do it, just keep doing it and keep working on it.

Thats great advice, I'll get right on it! ^_^

 

[Jimtopia]

I've been intrigued by this thread for quite awhile, so I figured it was about time to throw a couple of my songs up for criticism/critique. I haven't really been making music seriously for very long, but I'm comfortable enough with my stuff to get some real feedback now. I don't really have any current plans to do music full time or make an album or anything like that, it's more of just a hobby right now, but anything you have to say about my stuff would be greatly appreciated.

To give you a little info about what music I like to make, I'll just say that I'm really into sampling and I'm always trying to shoot for a "house" vibe with my stuff. So without further ado here's a few songs that I've put together:

Amped-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUxy_gJ-o6s

Diamond-

Admittedly, this is my least favorite of the 3 I'm linking too, but I figured I'd throw it in there as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Equrok30mEA

Late to the Party-

Now, I know you prefer youtube links, but there's two versions and I'd prefer you listen to the one on my soundcloud since it's slightly improved from the Youtube version, but I'll provide links to both just in case.

http://soundcloud.com/jimtopia/late-to-the-party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7BaYsEV1ak

--------------------

Alright, I think that's everything. I'm very interested to see what you'll have to say.

 

[BonsaiK]

I've been intrigued by this thread for quite awhile, so I figured it was about time to throw a couple of my songs up for criticism/critique. I haven't really been making music seriously for very long, but I'm comfortable enough with my stuff to get some real feedback now. I don't really have any current plans to do music full time or make an album or anything like that, it's more of just a hobby right now, but anything you have to say about my stuff would be greatly appreciated.

To give you a little info about what music I like to make, I'll just say that I'm really into sampling and I'm always trying to shoot for a "house" vibe with my stuff. So without further ado here's a few songs that I've put together:

Amped-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUxy_gJ-o6s

Diamond-

Admittedly, this is my least favorite of the 3 I'm linking too, but I figured I'd throw it in there as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Equrok30mEA

Late to the Party-

Now, I know you prefer youtube links, but there's two versions and I'd prefer you listen to the one on my soundcloud since it's slightly improved from the Youtube version, but I'll provide links to both just in case.

http://soundcloud.com/jimtopia/late-to-the-party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7BaYsEV1ak

--------------------

Alright, I think that's everything. I'm very interested to see what you'll have to say.

You're right - Diamond isn't as good as the other two. Save that one for after you get the mansion and the "rarities" album comes out in ten years.

Sonically, excellent, no issues there at all. Some of your synth melodies sound a little like they were procedurally generated, but they're still workable. The only real weakness in your stuff is that I think you're throwing too many ideas into your songs too quickly. With this sort of dance stuff, it's important to drip-feed your tricks a bit. Think about how this kind of music is typically consumed. You shouldn't be throwing in three or four brand new ideas in the space of a minute - space it out a little more to allow people to get into the groove before you throw them the next new thing. That's about all I can say that's bad about it though, so good stuff overall. Keep doing it and consider sending some to some dance labels.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

Spoiler: The Experienced-"Cornfield (Down To Earth)"

What do you think of my Band? I've already got the complaint that the timing sucks, and future songs will have better timing.

 

[Jimtopia]

You're right - Diamond isn't as good as the other two. Save that one for after you get the mansion and the "rarities" album comes out in ten years.

Sonically, excellent, no issues there at all. Some of your synth melodies sound a little like they were procedurally generated, but they're still workable. The only real weakness in your stuff is that I think you're throwing too many ideas into your songs too quickly. With this sort of dance stuff, it's important to drip-feed your tricks a bit. Think about how this kind of music is typically consumed. You shouldn't be throwing in three or four brand new ideas in the space of a minute - space it out a little more to allow people to get into the groove before you throw them the next new thing. That's about all I can say that's bad about it though, so good stuff overall. Keep doing it and consider sending some to some dance labels.

Ha, I'll be sure to put Diamond onto the rarities album.

On-topic, I'll work on making my synths and melodies sound a little more organic, I do put time into them to try and make my songs more catchy, but perhaps I do sacrifice a more natural sound when I do that. I'll also start spreading my tracks out a little differently so I'm not throwing in change after change within the span of a minute. Honestly I think that's just an old habit that I've always done with my music, and I just need to take more time and think about structure a little more as I put a song together.

Perhaps when I've got a few stronger songs under my belt I'll start considering sending a few to some dance labels, but for now I'll just keep on practicing.

Thanks a lot for the feedback.
-Peter

 

[BonsaiK]

Spoiler: The Experienced-"Cornfield (Down To Earth)"

What do you think of my Band? I've already got the complaint that the timing sucks, and future songs will have better timing.

Reminds me of The Shaggs.


This thread isn't really about my personal taste, it's about the feasibility of posters' music as a music industry product. The Shaggs didn't do well in that arena, and neither will your stuff without some serious work on just about every aspect of it, but most importantly of all, the timing. Rhythm is the #1 most important aspect of all music, it's more important than melody, harmony, lyrics, ideology, image, or any of that. It also wouldn't hurt for you to get some vocal training, because at the moment your vocals waver in and out of the mix a lot. You don't sound confident when singing, and sounding confident is much more important than hitting the notes correctly. Work on those things first and foremost.

 

[bigwon]

hiya bonz! just wanted to check in with you on a couple tracks, i've got a hiphop track, and a folk/soul kinda vibe (i'm not 100% on that btw..hehe)

Diamond Girl:
[youtube=Mre3X73Hk58
(no idea why this one won't go, maybe it'll work later?.... heres another link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mre3X73Hk58&feature=channel_video_title

Lost Sands of Time:
[youtube=STmRES4C2xs

 

[BonsaiK]

hiya bonz! just wanted to check in with you on a couple tracks, i've got a hiphop track, and a folk/soul kinda vibe (i'm not 100% on that btw..hehe)

Diamond Girl:
[youtube=Mre3X73Hk58
(no idea why this one won't go, maybe it'll work later?.... heres another link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mre3X73Hk58&feature=channel_video_title

Lost Sands of Time:
[MEDIA=youtube]STmRES4C2xs[/quote[/MEDIA]

Your link to "Diamond Girl" is missing the final square bracket, that's why it didn't embed properly.

Both of these songs have got some rhythm issues. In Diamond Girl, the rapping in the verses sounds okay in isolation, and the sung chorus is even better in isolation, but put the two together in one song and the result is just a bit off, because, once again, the two separate vocal parts suggest different amounts of swing on the offbeat. The aggressive triplets in the rap doesn't quite work with the heavily swung chorus, they sound like they belong over two different beats. In fact, maybe that's a good idea.

The other song - it sounds like the vocals are "soloing" - ignore the words themselves and just listen to the melody, and it's like a guitar solo. Which is fine for a short vocal break, but if there's one thing we all know about guitar solos it's that a three minute one is boring. Also, same swing issue crops up again - the bass is playing totally square but the drums are swinging. You should be using the bass to emphasise the swinging feel of the song, not confuse it. Or, use a different drumbeat that doesn't swing and play this one completely square. But don't try and do both at once, the result sounds messy, like there's too much going on at once.

Lyrics are getting better though, so that's a plus. A little hard to hear what you say sometimes though. Don't be shy - this is rap music (sort of)! You want what you're saying to cut through and make a bold statement of some type.

 

[bigwon]

thank you! I know I'd never get the same kind of input when bouncing it off of the people i know. i like the idea of having a drum switch on that song...i like that alot!

I think I'll be putting your advice to play when i go back to tweak these, I'm always aiming for a good track flow, and you've definitely given me gems in that regard.

 

[Troels Pleimert]

In the same spirit of masochism this thread began its life with, I thought I'd plonk down a few of my tracks and brace for impact.

I have no interest in "making it big", getting a record deal, going on the road or anything like that. I gave up on that long ago when I realized just what kind of shit I'd be buying into. I don't mean to sound pretentious, because I hate bands and singers who react to bad reviews by saying the journalist "just didn't get it", but with regards to being "in the biz" I'd rather just sit in my bedroom and wank into my Ableton software with my headphones on than getting pushed around by people who expect you to do it slightly different because the Twilight crowd "aren't into that at the moment."

I decided long ago I wouldn't put up with shit like that, and I'd probably end up a disillusioned drug addict, AND THAT'S ASSUMING some tonedeaf idiot would even sign me in the first place. Which, as you are about to find out, is not very bloody likely.

But I thought it would be fun to get some feedback from someone like BonsaiK, who has the sort of epic zen-like mastery over the music industry that makes me want to read his stuff for hours. On company time.

Unfortunately, most of my stuff is 2+ years old because of lack of free time, technical troubles, yadda yadda. But I haven't learned anything in the mean-time, so...

ANYWAY. In the spirit of masochism, let's boogie!

Kartika
The first one is about two years old and is probably my favorite of the bunch. The feel is supposed to be as frantic and angry as possible. All guitars and bass are soft-amped. The drums are EzDrummer and EQ'ed until they just about bled, with a handful of sampled breakbeats on top for flavor.

Incidentally, I should probably let this drop now: My guitar only has two strings and is tuned to an open D. I am NOT a guitarist.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/Kartika-61263201

I did everything here, including mixing and mastering, so if anything is wrong with this song (and there probably is), it's entirely my fault.

The Talent Show
This one's a bit more industrial, and is a bit older. The drums are sampled from a real drumkit, and during the chorus there's a real drumkit playing in the background. (You can tell I like to overdub drums until it sounds like a Prodigy-ish mess of hits and cymbals.) The drum sound was really terrible, thanks to a completely shit job of mic'ing them up by yours truly, so they're buried quite far in the mix.

This one's more passive-aggressive. It's a sardonic song basically about how much I hate X-Factor, Idol and that 15-mins of fame culture.

I play all the instruments and do the shouty-voice, but the clean vocals and the opening drum beat is courtesy of a friend of mine. I also didn't mix and master this entirely on my own; a friend of mine did the actual mixing/mastering (even though he, like me, also has no idea what he's doing) with me looking over his shoulder and drinking his beer.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/the-talent-show-53962184

Rebel! Revolt! Recruit!
Lastly, here's me being pop-punky. I put on a faux Southern accent, even though I'm not even American, and semi-growl my way through it.

This is the oldest song of the bunch. First of all, there's no bass; at least, no real bass (like, one with strings and such). There are two real guitars playing, but other than that, everything else was done in Reason. And that's one of Reason's own drum presets playing drums (well, programmed by me, obviously). The mixing and mastering was also me.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/rebel-revolt-recruit-27822623


Well. Let 'er rip! Or don't. Like I said, this is PURELY because I want to learn; not because I want to make it big. But let's pretend I do for the purpose of this exercise.

Oh, and I know no one else would ever click on these links unless directly instructed to do so - but if someone accidentally did and happened to listen to a few seconds of it, I'd be interested in hearing your opinions as well. Can't hurt, can it?

 

[BonsaiK]

In the same spirit of masochism this thread began its life with, I thought I'd plonk down a few of my tracks and brace for impact.

I have no interest in "making it big", getting a record deal, going on the road or anything like that. I gave up on that long ago when I realized just what kind of shit I'd be buying into. I don't mean to sound pretentious, because I hate bands and singers who react to bad reviews by saying the journalist "just didn't get it", but with regards to being "in the biz" I'd rather just sit in my bedroom and wank into my Ableton software with my headphones on than getting pushed around by people who expect you to do it slightly different because the Twilight crowd "aren't into that at the moment."

I decided long ago I wouldn't put up with shit like that, and I'd probably end up a disillusioned drug addict, AND THAT'S ASSUMING some tonedeaf idiot would even sign me in the first place. Which, as you are about to find out, is not very bloody likely.

But I thought it would be fun to get some feedback from someone like BonsaiK, who has the sort of epic zen-like mastery over the music industry that makes me want to read his stuff for hours. On company time.

Unfortunately, most of my stuff is 2+ years old because of lack of free time, technical troubles, yadda yadda. But I haven't learned anything in the mean-time, so...

ANYWAY. In the spirit of masochism, let's boogie!

Kartika
The first one is about two years old and is probably my favorite of the bunch. The feel is supposed to be as frantic and angry as possible. All guitars and bass are soft-amped. The drums are EzDrummer and EQ'ed until they just about bled, with a handful of sampled breakbeats on top for flavor.

Incidentally, I should probably let this drop now: My guitar only has two strings and is tuned to an open D. I am NOT a guitarist.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/Kartika-61263201

I did everything here, including mixing and mastering, so if anything is wrong with this song (and there probably is), it's entirely my fault.

The Talent Show
This one's a bit more industrial, and is a bit older. The drums are sampled from a real drumkit, and during the chorus there's a real drumkit playing in the background. (You can tell I like to overdub drums until it sounds like a Prodigy-ish mess of hits and cymbals.) The drum sound was really terrible, thanks to a completely shit job of mic'ing them up by yours truly, so they're buried quite far in the mix.

This one's more passive-aggressive. It's a sardonic song basically about how much I hate X-Factor, Idol and that 15-mins of fame culture.

I play all the instruments and do the shouty-voice, but the clean vocals and the opening drum beat is courtesy of a friend of mine. I also didn't mix and master this entirely on my own; a friend of mine did the actual mixing/mastering (even though he, like me, also has no idea what he's doing) with me looking over his shoulder and drinking his beer.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/the-talent-show-53962184

Rebel! Revolt! Recruit!
Lastly, here's me being pop-punky. I put on a faux Southern accent, even though I'm not even American, and semi-growl my way through it.

This is the oldest song of the bunch. First of all, there's no bass; at least, no real bass (like, one with strings and such). There are two real guitars playing, but other than that, everything else was done in Reason. And that's one of Reason's own drum presets playing drums (well, programmed by me, obviously). The mixing and mastering was also me.

http://www.myspace.com/alchemydk/music/songs/rebel-revolt-recruit-27822623


Well. Let 'er rip! Or don't. Like I said, this is PURELY because I want to learn; not because I want to make it big. But let's pretend I do for the purpose of this exercise.

Oh, and I know no one else would ever click on these links unless directly instructed to do so - but if someone accidentally did and happened to listen to a few seconds of it, I'd be interested in hearing your opinions as well. Can't hurt, can it?

Actually I didn't mind any of that stuff. Really good production for a home creation actually. Good drum programming too, it isn't just boring loops, you've put time into it and it shows, plus all the live instrument playing is solid. Sure, it's not spectacular, but it doesn't have to be, it's perfectly serviceable for what you're trying to do. Given how much you've talked yourself down I was expecting a lot worse! The main criticism from an industry point of view would be that each track is very different and not many punters would like all three styles you've got going here, so it would be kind of hard to know where to "put" your product if you submitted a demo that had those particular three songs on it.

The first one is good in a stoner-rock way in parts but I dunno about that dun-dunnn-dun-dunnnn riff and all the vocals are definitely too quiet, that all kind of wrecks it for me. The second one was better, clearer vocals and I (ironically perhaps) like the lyrical idea of it which comes across nice and strong. I'd lose that squash-ball noise at the start if you can (replace it with something more abrasive maybe) and maybe dirty up some of the quieter synth stuff or chop it altogether, but I'm nitpicking, it's pretty good, mind you it's a bit Manson-ish and right now probably isn't the time to be pushing a product like that, that's really the only reason why I'd steer away from it. The last one is the best one, kind of synthpop with crazy vocals on top, I liked it and I wish you went even crazier still with the vocals and even smoother and more synthetic with the backing. Forget accents, do it your way and just go as nuts as you possibly can.

That's what I thought anyway, how much you choose to care or let that influence what you do is entirely up to you.

 

[Troels Pleimert]

*snippetysnip*

That's what I thought anyway, how much you choose to care or let that influence what you do is entirely up to you.

Thank you for your insights!

I think what I take away from your comments mostly is to have more confidence in my vocals. Because I have zero confidence in it (I always fancied a Greg Puciato-style vocal for my songs, and my voice is far too nasal and whiny for that), I tend to mix it quite low and use about a quantzillion overdubs and distortion effects.

The other thing I take away from it is the one point everyone brings up when they listen to my stuff, which is that it tends to be somewhat schizophrenic, style-wise. And this probably has a lot to do with my reluctance to show it around to people, more than my high-flying "fuck the biz" talk. Usually when people say they refuse to compromise, it's because they're arrogant numbnuts, so I guess that puts me in that category as well - the fun in it for me is to treat music like a playground. But unless you're Mr. Bungle and awesomely talented, no one really goes for that and there's even less money in it.

Anyway, I really had promised myself not to wax on about it. Really, I just wanted to thank you for your comments. Your wisdom is well appreciated.

 

[oooooooooooooooooooooooooo]

http://www.myspace.com/russell_kuhl

Trying my hand at some more rock styled songs, this is the one I'm most proud of so far.

 

[Treefingers]

snip

Back again... http://outrunthebuffalo.bandcamp.com/album/but-now-they-live-in-a-zoo

This is my new band's debut EP. Looking forward to seeing what you think.

 

[BonsaiK]

http://www.myspace.com/russell_kuhl

Trying my hand at some more rock styled songs, this is the one I'm most proud of so far.

That's not bad, a bit Radioheadish. Biggest problem is it's rhythmically sloppy. You seem to have problems strumming along to the drum machine. Not sure why that is, maybe something wrong with your strumming technique or perhaps you just struggle to work with machines, either way it's offputting. Double-tracking is great of you can do it but sounds particularly bad when the two tracks are not in time. Also more confidence in the vocals wouldn't hurt. I don't mind the melodies at all, some good stuff there but the muttery bits where you drift off while perhaps intended to add atmosphere just make the recording sound like you're unsure of yourself vocally. If you compare your vocal to something like Thom Yorke, the difference is that he's projecting more and never sounds unconfident.

 

[BonsaiK]

snip

Back again... http://outrunthebuffalo.bandcamp.com/album/but-now-they-live-in-a-zoo

This is my new band's debut EP. Looking forward to seeing what you think.

Hey this is really good. Great production, nice and clear, good playing. Nothing wrong with it at all. However I couldn't help but get the feeling that the entire EP would be enhanced greatly by the removal of most of the guitar parts! The best parts of it are the parts where there's no guitar and it sounds almost electronic, as soon as that chikka-chikka-chikka guitar noise comes in that wrecks it for me. Just personal taste mind you, certainly this is streets ahead of the last thing you posted here and certainly worthy of label consideration if you wanted to go down that path.

 

[TheLaofKazi]

Oh dear, I don't have a Myspace (yet) and my Youtube doesn't have my new, better songs on it. Oh well, if you decide to listen, here you go. If not, that's alright.

Here is one of my solo works:

http://soundcloud.com/thelaofkazi/qwnop

And here is a band I play the drums for (although here it's only programmed drums. We plan to record newer stuff with me). We've only played one live show, and it went really well and it was a lot of fun.

http://soundcloud.com/my-killer-my-master/proteus-complex

And here is an improvised song that me and a friend made that we might try to turn into something more. I played the drums:

http://soundcloud.com/alex-brockmiller/instrumental

 

[TheLaofKazi]

Back again... http://outrunthebuffalo.bandcamp.com/album/but-now-they-live-in-a-zoo

This is my new band's debut EP. Looking forward to seeing what you think.

Ooooo, I really, really like this. Good jorb, my friend.

 

[Treefingers]

snip

Back again... http://outrunthebuffalo.bandcamp.com/album/but-now-they-live-in-a-zoo

This is my new band's debut EP. Looking forward to seeing what you think.

Hey this is really good. Great production, nice and clear, good playing. Nothing wrong with it at all. However I couldn't help but get the feeling that the entire EP would be enhanced greatly by the removal of most of the guitar parts! The best parts of it are the parts where there's no guitar and it sounds almost electronic, as soon as that chikka-chikka-chikka guitar noise comes in that wrecks it for me. Just personal taste mind you, certainly this is streets ahead of the last thing you posted here and certainly worthy of label consideration if you wanted to go down that path.

Wow excellent, thanks for the feedback.

Working with a label is definitely something we're aiming for. It's early days for us at the moment though and at present we are trying to network as much as we can, beginning to build up a fanbase, tighten up our live performance etc. I don't suppose you could offer any pearls of wisdom for us? We're based in Auckland, NZ if that helps. We're currently doing everything on our own backs, though are considering looking for a manager and stuff etc. because to be honest, we're unfamiliar with the industry and aren't too sure where to start.

It's with guys i've known for a while and played with in bands before, but this time around we are taking it seriously and trying it do it right.

Also, in relation to the point in your first post about myspace and youtube, is it worth setting up a myspace page? It could just be my impression I get being in NZ, but it seems to me like myspace is becoming much less relevant. Bandcamp is much better for hosting music while our facebook covers the networking side of things at present. Does myspace carry any serious weight these days? We'll definitely set up a youtube account once we have something of worth to put there though.

 

[Treefingers]

Back again... http://outrunthebuffalo.bandcamp.com/album/but-now-they-live-in-a-zoo

This is my new band's debut EP. Looking forward to seeing what you think.

Ooooo, I really, really like this. Good jorb, my friend.

Cheers mate!