Hey. I know this is BonsaiK's thread. Also the first one in ages well worth reading through. When I noticed your submission I couldn't help, but to give my two cents (I know squat about music industry, but I do know my Hip Hop, having dozen years of loving relationship with it), whether they're worth anything.XinfiniteX said:
First off, the beats aren't on the same scale with your rapping. A good beat can stand by its own. These are just, how should I put it, awful. Stating the obvious: Making (good) beats is truly a form of art. Only a few can successfully produce and rap at the same time, say Kanye West, Kno, Eminem, Large Professor... Even Dre isn't an extraordinary lyricist, but he sure as hell is the beat doctor. We'll get to know his current form of lyricism when if Detox ever gets out. back to the topic. It will be a long journey to get a beat from the likes of DJ Premier or Pete Rock, but there are lots of beat makers trying to make it offering beats to rappers. It might be the best course of action to get beats from such artists. Or if you already know people who can do beats, all the better. You could concentrate more on the rapping, and of course make some beats meanwhile and if you'd feel your own beats are better than available, there's nothing to stop you. You might as well go at it on some instrumentals of the type of Hip Hop you want to do. It's fun, it's great practice and helps you find the ways you want to go on with your music.
What kind of Hip Hop are you going to do? "If You'd be Mine" is more of a, I dunno how to get around it, something balladish with rhyming. Not quite hitting the one-for-the-ladies spot the average rap albums have had for a long time; besides the club-banger, getting-high and you-don't-wanna-fuck-with-us spots, a trend more or less surrounding the beginning of this millennium, which actually has faded in a way you'll have a hard time finding them all on a modern album. There are zillions of sub-genres and directions in Hip-Hop to go or get lost into after all.
Boiling Point is better. You do have a good voice. It reminds me of another rapper, can't quite remember whom though. You tend to rush the end of your lines, like you're having trouble making them fit and hit the beat. That's okay when freestyling to a difficult or unfamiliar beat, but not as much when recording a song. There are also a few unnecessary words or bad lines. While otherwise continuing solidly like a diesel train, a hastily pronounced word here and there makes the song feel twisted. If it doesn't fit the beat, work your flow to dance around the beat, so it won't affect thusly, or write it differently.
Your flow is smoother than the average unsigned rappers', just mix the rhyming patterns up a notch, it's quite predictable. For delivery, you're halfway there, it's not that monotonous, but it still lacks the emotion and strong presence which is very important. One doesn't need to be Ol' Dirty Bastard, but it takes something different if trying to pull it like Ma$e. Attack people's headphones.
Just one more thing: Lose the preludes. You don't need to tell about the song before it begins. Nowadays rap songs start immediately, that doesn't mean beginning a verse at the first bar. Rather the times of, let's say 20 second old movie dialogue samples as preludes á la Wu, are no good to anyone anymore. Especially if your trying to get people's attention. It's a different thing when Jay-Z and Nas kick their decades lasting feud and do a collaborative. Also, usually spitting doubles goes a lot better on gigs than on recorded songs.
You need a good beat to make a good rap song, and you need to kill that beat.
There's a beat that works great on its own as well.
I've been making various hip/hip related stuff for a few years now, but never really done anything in terms of sending out demos etc. Most my stuff has just been for my mates and just for fun. It's pretty hard to make anything from music in Australia (especially Hip Hop) so I haven't really been pushing it.
