My close friend needs help.

[Burningsok]

what about the famliy problems?

yeah I should explain it. Well she has tried to tell her parents some of the problems she has been having and all she gets is in trouble. Her parents think it's all for attention. I need to know more about the parents so I can figure out why the parents take it this way.

 

[child of lileth]

I stopped reading at suicide. Anyone who threatens it, won't do it. Anyone who never mentions it, and never attempts it, will do it first try. I'm sorry for her actual problems (thyroids and so on that you mentioned), but I can't stand people that threaten suicide for attention.

Just for clarification, do you mean they will go through with it, or attempt it. They are quite different, and I know someone who matches that. They didn't actually go through with it, but attempted it without previously saying a word about suicide.

Basically, with suicide, if they threaten it all the time, they are only doing it as a cry for help, but they won't go through with it, because they just want someone to pay attention to them, and to listen to them. It's all about them feeling like those threats are the only way to get people to take them seriously, because no one will give them 10 seconds to listen to the person otherwise.

With the one your asking about, I mean it more as, if they never mention it, but they do try it, in about 8/10 examples, unless something goes wrong (depending on the method), they will likely be found dead soon after they decide on it. Like I said in an earlier post, I've seen these cases happen constantly, and I know how they are. It ends up that way because they are left alone with their thoughts, doubts, and denials, which can have a severely negative effect on them and their psyche, and of course, lead to the decision.

The second one just comes from the person feeling like they have no other option. Usually from the person having either no outlet, or the person not having anyone to talk to so they can get the help they need, or to get the stress out / have someone reassure them that there are things that can be done to help (maybe not completely fix everything, but that's not always possible).

Hope that helps clarify what I meant.

 

[Lust]

Spoiler: OP

This sort of hit me today and I finally got off my butt and got on here to ask for advice on what to do. I'll try not to tell you everything since it would be veerry long. Please be serious about this. My friend is going through a whole lot of shit, and it's hard sometimes to comfort her and give her good advice on what to do.

So anyways, I've known this girl for 2 1/2 years. for a while now she has had major problems with depression and anxiety, not only that but she was diagnosed with diabetes, and she has a bit of a thyroid problem. Her depression and anxiety get so bad she tries to commit suicide, but she is always able to pull herself away which from what I know means that she still wants to live, she's afraid of death. added on top of this she has family problems, she cuts herself, and it makes me sad every time she does it. She says its very very hard trying to tell anyone about her problems. She feels like it will get out to people, that she will be judge and that the help she wants to find won't be enough.

I know some of you might say she's doing this for attention, but please I know she isn't. She's had a lot of this locked up inside her and it's hurting her.

I most likely will be seeing her in a month or so.

I want some advice on what to say to her and how to comfort her. She means a lot to me. It doesn't need to be a lot. It can be simple.

Thank you

Well, I would suggest not treating her different from anyone else. Joke around, have fun, go out somewhere. Even if it's just to the park.

And don't....................Don't bring up the subject of mortality or family problems unless she brings it up first. Ask her, as light hearted as possible, what she thinks would happen to her family and friends if she ever went through with it.

Tell her that people aren't perfect. That others can harsh things, and, you'll be there if she's feeling down.

Gently, take a hold of her face, and say, "You're not gonna leave me here are you? Leave one of your best friends here to mourn? Alone? This place is bad enough as it is. There's no need to think like that. I like you for who you are. Don't leave me just yet."

Give her a big hug, then, go for some ice cream. Make her feel loved. It seems like she needs some.

 

[Burningsok]

I stopped reading at suicide. Anyone who threatens it, won't do it. Anyone who never mentions it, and never attempts it, will do it first try. I'm sorry for her actual problems (thyroids and so on that you mentioned), but I can't stand people that threaten suicide for attention.

Just for clarification, do you mean they will go through with it, or attempt it. They are quite different, and I know someone who matches that. They didn't actually go through with it, but attempted it without previously saying a word about suicide.

Basically, with suicide, if they threaten it all the time, they are only doing it as a cry for help, but they won't go through with it, because they just want someone to pay attention to them, and to listen to them. It's all about them feeling like those threats are the only way to get people to take them seriously, because no one will give them 10 seconds to listen to the person otherwise.

With the one your asking about, I mean it more as, if they never mention it, but they do try it, in about 8/10 examples, unless something goes wrong (depending on the method), they will likely be found dead soon after they decide on it. Like I said in an earlier post, I've seen these cases happen constantly, and I know how they are. It ends up that way because they are left alone with their thoughts, doubts, and denials, which can have a severely negative effect on them and their psyche, and of course, lead to the decision.

The second one just comes from the person feeling like they have no other option. Usually from the person having either no outlet, or the person not having anyone to talk to so they can get the help they need, or to get the stress out / have someone reassure them that there are things that can be done to help (maybe not completely fix everything, but that's not always possible).

Hope that helps clarify what I meant.

oh ok, I was looking at what you said the wrong way. yeah I have to agree with that. yeah you are right, and usually when people with suicidal thoughts are left alone to drown in their own doubts and misery, they start to accept their decision to commit suicide. That's why some suicidal people seem happy hours before they kill themselves, they are at peace with their decision and with death.

 

[TheDoctorsCompanion.]

Oi, I've been there before. It was my friends that kept me alive. Just keep being there for her, remind her that she is loved and beautiful, and that she is important to you. If she feels she doesn't have a reason to live, then be her reason to live. Talk to her, hang out with her, give her something to look forward to every day. Just love her in whatever way you can, you might end up saving her life.