My friend's a ...

[H.R.Shovenstuff]

'My friend is real!! Ahhhh! Shut up shut up shut up!'
Ha ha ha, good times.

 

[Copter400]

Friend: "Hey dude, peep this. My friend can control magical fireballs and hurl them at people! And he said that he could control the dead too with a secret incantation that only he knows!!"

Me: "That's me, stupid."

You, chum, deserve one whole Internets for that response.

TermsandconditionsapplyformoredetailsspeaktoyourInterwebsserviceprovider.

 

[H.R.Shovenstuff]

'Hey, you sass that hoopy H.R.Shovenstuff? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.'

 

[Hawgh]

A friend of mine is related to the Swedish Royal House. Not really that strange, considering how much they got around a few generations ago.

Another friend's father played soccer with King Diamond once.

 

[Amnestic]

There's some kid at my school that lies compulsively. I could write a novel about him if his life was half as interesting as he says it is.

Yeah, he's a douche bag.

Same. I wonder if everyone knows someone like this. His dad is a pacifist, a special SAS agent, and a hippy who lives in a windmill and a film director who works with SkyNews.

All at once!

 

[black lincon]

my stepsister told me she had a friend who knew a guy named Bill Bater who went to a fancy school where you were called master then your last name.

 

[wewontdie11]

My friends dad worked at an oil company with the now comedian Jimmy Carr.

He was apparently really boring.

 

[Cpt. Red]

I just remember a couple more that might be true...
1) I have a friend who is a relative to some rich guy in Portugal that builds a house and then lives in it, afterwards he builds a new house and sell the old one and so on...
2) A guy from an clan I was in was an old SAS member... Now with heart problems though...

#1 Im a bit unsure of but #2 is actually very likely...

 

[Internet Expert]

My sister's boyfriend's dad worked under the real Colonel Sanders back when KFC was first starting out, says he was a bastard. Also, my sis's boyfriend says his friend (who works on Family Guy) went to art school with Alex Ross and says he's a bastard too.

 

[PureChaos]

one of my old friends told me he had a card for a bank account with an infinite amount of money in it. he lived about 30 seconds from the town center and when i asked him why he wasn't constantly shopping with the infinite money, he responded 'cant be bothered'. prat

 

[jim_doki]

I AM that guy

i tell people I was backstage at Metallica during the BDO
Tell people I worked as a DJ and recorded an album with a rock band

the funny thing is it's all true

 

[Jamash]

Dunno if anyone else has heard this one
Somebody tells you their mate did a bunch of acid and pulled an all nighter. When they find him the next morning he's freaking out saying there's a goblin in his cupboard. They open it up and found a down syndrome kid that the guy kidnapped and forgot about the night before, cause he was so fucked.

I know its ridiculous, but I wanted it to be true so bad. Then I heard it from a second person, and I may never trust again.

I heard a variation of that story.

Apparently when one of my friends when he was at university, all his housemates went out & got completely fucked, drugs, booze, you name it.
They all woke up the next morning back at home with no recollection of the previous night's debauchery.
One of them went to the toilet & came straight back out & addressed the guilty parties.

"Guys, why the fuck is there a penguin swimming about in the bath?"

Apparently they broke into the local zoo & kidnapped a penguin...

I'd like the story to be true & I can easily believe it, penguin's are cute enough when you're sober, if you're fucked you may very well have the balls to nab one for yourself, if you know where to get one.