My gf's dad hates me.

[tomtom94]

Take him out for a pint down the local pub (assuming you're a happy drunk as opposed to an angry one).

And talk to your GF about it.

 

[Dogstile]

Your girlfriends dad hating you can be a good thing. If you stand up for yourself sometimes the girl /really/ likes it.

 

[Wintermoot]

you could spend some quality time with her dad he might like you afterwards but avoid hunting or anything else that involves guns

 

[Olrod]

Ask this girl's father if he's judging you on his own standards.

That should give him pause to think.

 

[tigermilk]

Unhelpful (but mildly humorous) suggestion:

[edit] perhaps not the most helpful of comments. I guess he is either protective an arsehile or both. My guess is when he was your age he was a prick with women issues and he thinks all men your age are like that.

EDIT 2: Ninja'd by the post immediately above

 

[Vhite]

I never had such problem with my guardian force.

 

[cieply]

Well is there a reason he hates you?

Why does he hate you?

Even an overprotective dad needs a reason to hate you...so what is it? If you aren't honest, no one can help you manage the relationship.

The main thing I can think of is that I'm a little older than her. Only a year and some change. I haven't slept with her yet, so he's never walked in on us. She doesn't really get along too well with him. I've spoken to him and he treats me like I'm some creep that preys on little girls. I kindly remind him that the age difference between him and her mom is seven years, but I think that only makes it worse. XD

I mean, I understand where he's coming from. If I had a daughter, I'd be super protective too. One time thought we were just chatting on MSN and her dad told her to tell me that he'd crawl through the wires to get me. XD

All in all, I'm not too worried. It's not a deal breaker or anything, it would just be easier if he did like me.

My friend is 24 and she is with a 39yo guy. Beat that ;p

 

[Jackalb]

What a coincidence my Dad's girlfriend hates me. ***** needs to be kneecap'd, this may help your situation too.

 

[Jonluw]

You should prove yourself to her dad in a suitable anime-esque way.

No, really. Try to show her dad that you're an okay guy. Maybe go out fishing with him or something.

Of course, I have no experience with this, so I might just be talking out my ass. I'm just trying to imagine myself as the dad, and your gf as my little sister.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Essentially what everyone else has said. You didn't give us the slightest reason as to why he would act this way towards you. Other than him just being a complete dick, I feel there is more to this than you're telling us.

He ever walk in on you two?

Well, I am her first real boyfriend. I say that because I'm the only boyfriend she's had that lasted more than a few weeks. She's also sort of introverted and has self confidence issues, so he might be thinking that I'm using that to take advantage of her, which I'm not.

He's just worried that I'll hurt her, which, as I said just a few moments ago, I can understand. He even talked to my parents and brought the age difference up along with some other conversations he had with her about me. What it boils down to I think is that she says that she loves me and he doesn't want her to do something that she might regret because she thinks she's in love with me.

This is part of the reason I haven't slept with her yet, along with some other things like the age gap and the fact that her dad is itching for a reason to see me in jail. XD

Use it against him. Just wait until it gets to a ridiculous point or he says something completely unfair or uncalled-for, then just snap and tell him that you don't care if he's on your case for the next hundred years, because that girl is amazing and if it meant you could stay with her and protect her, you'd swap physical torture for his childish mindgames any day.

Word for word might actually hit home quite well.

 

[Cliff_m85]

I'm sure that this isn't exactly rare. Her mom likes me and we get along great, but her dad really has it out for me. I mean he's threatened to call the cops, and hunt me down and all sorts of stuff like that. Luckily he hasn't gotten violent because I'd really hate to have to beat down my gf's dad. XD

Anyway, her parents are separate, and it's not like I have to see them all the time, but it's just annoying that it seems like I have to jump through hoops just to date her because she's amazing and I really like her. The only problem we have is her dad.

Any ideas/suggestions for dealing with a hostile parent? I've heard of parents hating gfs too, so I guess this could apply there as well. Normally I get along well with my friends/gfs parents, he's the only one that seems to have a problem with me.

Sleep with his wife.

 

[Timmehexas]

Well my boyfriends parents hate me just because they're homophobic, so really anything I ever do will never change that. Count yourself lucky at least one of them likes you, and you have the chance to change the dads opinion of you.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

He's threatened you. Call the cops on him. He wants to fuck with you? Ruin his life.

I'd really, REALLY rather not do that. I know that he has no legal problems with me, and I know I've broken no laws, so the worst that can happen as far as the cops go is me explaining the situation. I'll also hope that the cops I might have to talk to are either men or have sons and not daughters so that they'll understand where I'm coming from. XD

Also, other than the fact that he doesn't like me, he's basically alright. I mean, I think he could treat her a little more like family (he never married her mother and now he's married to some lady and has a stepson and biological daughter with her, so he sees my gf as...I wouldn't quite say a burden, but I'm sure you get the idea.). It's an interesting situation that they have, but I think she's worth it.

 

[open trap]

My girlfriends dad does not even know we are going out, i usually have to avoid being seen when he comes around.

 

[tmujir955]

Wait...you mean there are girls whose dads LIKE their boyfriends/husbands?

(actually, that happened to me once---12, 13 years ago now. Her dad practically adopted me as a son. And me, biggest idiot in the friggin' universe, broke up with his daughter because I got too spooked by falling too hard in love with her and with the whole situation. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I'd had my heart broken badly in my last relationship, but still, to this day I think of that girl as the one that got away.)

When are you publishing your biography again?

 

[fix-the-spade]

Any ideas/suggestions for dealing with a hostile parent?

Be polite, be nice, nothing more can be done.

If only one parent hates you you're already doing better than most boyfriends.

 

[SimuLord]

Wait...you mean there are girls whose dads LIKE their boyfriends/husbands?

(actually, that happened to me once---12, 13 years ago now. Her dad practically adopted me as a son. And me, biggest idiot in the friggin' universe, broke up with his daughter because I got too spooked by falling too hard in love with her and with the whole situation. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I'd had my heart broken badly in my last relationship, but still, to this day I think of that girl as the one that got away.)

When are you publishing your biography again?

Haha...my project for NaNo this year is going to be an autobiographical essay collection Chuck Klosterman-style (in organization if not in tone and content.) Thirty stories that I'll try and shop to a publisher as a light-humor work (and very friendly to the talk show circuit, so the marketing assholes have something to chew on.)

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

A year? Ok give me the exact age here, is this a 13/14 year old thing, 14/15, maybe?

i mean then it'd be a little understandable, after all she'd be closer to 10 then 20. Otherwise he's just being really wierd, and I kinda get why his wife left him.

I'm 19 and she's 17. I say a year difference because her birthday is only like two or three weeks after mine. I guess technically it's two years, but really, I'm only two years older than her for all of a few days.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I'm sure that this isn't exactly rare. Her mom likes me and we get along great, but her dad really has it out for me. I mean he's threatened to call the cops, and hunt me down and all sorts of stuff like that. Luckily he hasn't gotten violent because I'd really hate to have to beat down my gf's dad. XD

Anyway, her parents are separate, and it's not like I have to see them all the time, but it's just annoying that it seems like I have to jump through hoops just to date her because she's amazing and I really like her. The only problem we have is her dad.

Any ideas/suggestions for dealing with a hostile parent? I've heard of parents hating gfs too, so I guess this could apply there as well. Normally I get along well with my friends/gfs parents, he's the only one that seems to have a problem with me.

out of curiosity, is her father asian? im not trying to racist but when ive dated asian girls, with traditional asian parents, they have ALWAYS hated me. girls with parents of american or european descent, always love me (like seriously, if i break up with a girl, her parents are usually about as upset as she is) but if her parents are asian, then they always straight up hate me. the mothers are usually more accepting but they both seem to hate me

other than that, sounds like her dad is just a prick

No, she's 100% German. I'm part German too, but not even close to that 100%. XD

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

A year? Ok give me the exact age here, is this a 13/14 year old thing, 14/15, maybe?

i mean then it'd be a little understandable, after all she'd be closer to 10 then 20. Otherwise he's just being really wierd, and I kinda get why his wife left him.

You stole my question with that post. I've found that age difference tends to have more weight relative to the age of those involved. In an earlier post MasterOfWorlds stated that he is in college so I would have to assume that the one year difference is relatively inconsequential.

I was confused, so I kept asking what was wrong and why she was crying. Apparently, the other girl we both knew, told her that I had manipulated her into...certain things on the webcam.

I found myself in a similar situation a few years ago and had plans to spend the next day with both my girl friend and the other girl. It was not fun at all.

Note: I didn't cheat but had a rather frank discussion about sex that admittedly crossed some lines.

As it turns out, the other girl from online liked me and would say stuff like, "If you were single." or "If you're ever in the area..." and I told her that I wasn't going to break up with my gf to be with her and that I didn't have those feelings for her. She had some ah...psychological issues, yeah we'll go with that. XD

Anyway, she tried to destroy my relationship because I wouldn't break up with my gf to be with her. Luckily it's all behind us now.