My Girlfriend Cheated on Me
- Thread starter Watchmacallit
- Start date
It's just a kiss, suck it up and move on with it. It's not like she blew the guy got a STD and then gave it to you, hell she didn't even sleep with the guy. I don't know maybe I have a thicker skin after dealing with so much dating problems of my own, but your just going to have to suck it up and go with the flow man.
Stick with her and give her a chance to rebuild that trust. If she displays more behaviour like that then you shouldn't be together because it's obviously something you feel strongly about. People make mistakes, but you will be right to distrust her until she can consistently be honest and faithful.
I think your girlfriend is really admirable in this. How many girls out there would have either, A) Covered it up, or B) Lied about something like this? I know I would if I was in her situation. This shows she obviously cares about and trusts your relationship enough to believe you two can work through this together, with it all out there and no secrets.
If she is truly sorry maybe just maybe she won't get worse. I promise you that if she isn't she will get WAY worse and cheat on you in far more terrible ways.
Dump that *****.
Even if it was just a kiss, it was a stupid decision. That means she is prone to more.
TRUST ME.
Even if it was just a kiss, it was a stupid decision. That means she is prone to more.
TRUST ME.
You've started dating her three months ago, and you're already making it sound like she's the only girl in the world. When you get into a serious relationship with someone, you'll both end up doing something that'll piss each other off. Just be thankful she was honest enough to tell you the truth. This will give you the opportunity to learn her faults and allow you to decide whether she is still right for you.
Here's where the lecture part comes in, but I'll try to keep it brief. It's important to have standards in a relationship. If she does something that she knows is wrong and doesn't care if it hurts you, feel free to leave her. But if you set your standards too high, you're basically putting her on a pedestal. If she does something that she deeply regrets and you can't accept her for it even when she does everything else right, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
Here's what I would do: Ask her if she still wants to be with you. If she says yes and you absolutely know she means it, then the two of you have a chance of making the relationship work. It's not a guarantee. You just have to work at it and see how it turns up in two weeks. If things don't improve by then, it's time to let her go.
If she says no, that's fine. The two of you probably didn't connect as well as you thought you did anyway.
Just to clarify, I'm not saying that you should forgive her for what she has done. She made a serious mistake that is definitely going to put a strain on your relationship. You need to figure out for yourself whether or not she's still trustworthy. I can't give you the answers because I don't know you. I can only tell you how I would respond to that situation using the information you gave me.
EDIT: Next time you ask for relationship advice, don't go to a forum. No one here will be able to relate to you as much as someone you actually know and trust. You'd be better off asking friends or family for help, or you could simply go with your gut and decide for yourself.
DOUBLE EDIT: $2,000 in three months? Where do you work and how can I get your job?
Seriously though, unless the two of you are roommates there are better uses for your money than spending it solely with your girl. Now is the time to be saving as much money as possible so that you'll be able to live on your own. If you lose it all now, that's it.
Here's where the lecture part comes in, but I'll try to keep it brief. It's important to have standards in a relationship. If she does something that she knows is wrong and doesn't care if it hurts you, feel free to leave her. But if you set your standards too high, you're basically putting her on a pedestal. If she does something that she deeply regrets and you can't accept her for it even when she does everything else right, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
Here's what I would do: Ask her if she still wants to be with you. If she says yes and you absolutely know she means it, then the two of you have a chance of making the relationship work. It's not a guarantee. You just have to work at it and see how it turns up in two weeks. If things don't improve by then, it's time to let her go.
If she says no, that's fine. The two of you probably didn't connect as well as you thought you did anyway.
Just to clarify, I'm not saying that you should forgive her for what she has done. She made a serious mistake that is definitely going to put a strain on your relationship. You need to figure out for yourself whether or not she's still trustworthy. I can't give you the answers because I don't know you. I can only tell you how I would respond to that situation using the information you gave me.
EDIT: Next time you ask for relationship advice, don't go to a forum. No one here will be able to relate to you as much as someone you actually know and trust. You'd be better off asking friends or family for help, or you could simply go with your gut and decide for yourself.
DOUBLE EDIT: $2,000 in three months? Where do you work and how can I get your job?
Seriously though, unless the two of you are roommates there are better uses for your money than spending it solely with your girl. Now is the time to be saving as much money as possible so that you'll be able to live on your own. If you lose it all now, that's it.
There's a possibility she told you all this because she wants you to break up with her. She doesn't want the guilt of leaving you for another dude. So you can either just do that or sit around and force her hand, depends how spiteful you're feeling.
Either way, I wouldn't suggest sticking around. From the way you described it, she didn't seem particularily apologetic.
Guilty, sure. But not sorry.
Either way, I wouldn't suggest sticking around. From the way you described it, she didn't seem particularily apologetic.
Guilty, sure. But not sorry.
OP if she's going to sleep around in complete disregard for your feelings then she isn't really much of a girlfriend to begin with. You should probably just ditch her and...
Wait wait wait... it was only a kiss? Yeah, that isn't great, but the fact that she actually feels guilty about it could be considered a good sign.
Give her a second chance. If it becomes a pattern, well then she isn't as perfect as you think. If she never does it again, then just forget it ever happened.
Wait wait wait... it was only a kiss? Yeah, that isn't great, but the fact that she actually feels guilty about it could be considered a good sign.
Give her a second chance. If it becomes a pattern, well then she isn't as perfect as you think. If she never does it again, then just forget it ever happened.
Talk to her about it and have a long conversation about trust and whether or not you two have any. It might lead to a break up but would you rather get back in the dating game or be paranoid about who shes humping whenever she isn't with you? You dont have to break up with her but you have to be pretty convinced it isn't going to happen again the future.
Kpt._Rob said:
I've spent the money because I wanted to. She isn't a material girl. I really wouldn't date someone like that. I'm 19 and I went through my stupid immature faze in my first relationship. I'm not a guy that believes in soul mates but for me to like someone is pretty damn rare...Ask my two friends. I didn't jump right in. We don't live together or anything like that...If anything she's the one that says things like 'love me forever'.
I don't like to be used and I don't think she was using me, no one did. No one does. The people I've spoken to can't believe she did it.
Rem45 said:
Sounds to me like she may need some space to decide what she wants. You may be an awesome boyfriend but it sounds like she is not ready to commit and ultimately it's her prerogative, you both should talk seriously about where you stand in the relationship.
Me, I would rather die than be in a relationship with another human being because it takes two to commit murder. Did I mention I am an internet troll living under abridge communicating through farts.
Eh, OP, I've met a few girls who looked absolutely perfect at first but... Two of them turned out to be terrible.
One of them, I thought was perfect in every way, at least at first. She would subtly flirt with me in order to get me to like her and think of moving in on her, but then after she set me up to ask her out she'd reject me in a publicly humiliating way. I was younger and dumber back then so it took me a while to figure that one out. Now that I know more about flirting, what she was doing is so damn obvious. When I realized that she was doing similar things to other guys at the same time, and trying to set us up so that we'd fight over her, my opinion of her did NOT improve. As I learned more and more about her I began to realize that my initial impression wasn't really all that accurate. She wasn't flirting or dropping hints because she liked me. She was doing that crap because she had a severe ego problem.
I could go on and on, but that's not the point that I'm trying to make. The point that I'm trying to make is this: You may think that she's perfect now, but that doesn't really mean that she is. You might not be thinking that she's perfect a year from now, when you know her better. Just saying...
One of them, I thought was perfect in every way, at least at first. She would subtly flirt with me in order to get me to like her and think of moving in on her, but then after she set me up to ask her out she'd reject me in a publicly humiliating way. I was younger and dumber back then so it took me a while to figure that one out. Now that I know more about flirting, what she was doing is so damn obvious. When I realized that she was doing similar things to other guys at the same time, and trying to set us up so that we'd fight over her, my opinion of her did NOT improve. As I learned more and more about her I began to realize that my initial impression wasn't really all that accurate. She wasn't flirting or dropping hints because she liked me. She was doing that crap because she had a severe ego problem.
I could go on and on, but that's not the point that I'm trying to make. The point that I'm trying to make is this: You may think that she's perfect now, but that doesn't really mean that she is. You might not be thinking that she's perfect a year from now, when you know her better. Just saying...
Yes, it could be worse. But this is gonna snowball. Dump her and just end it now, before you get to a point where you're too invested to realize that it's a bad idea to stay with her. Especially given the two sentences I quoted from you, she's not gonna gain your trust back at this point; and she doesn't deserve it. She told you because she feels guilty and she wants you to absolve her, or possibly because she wants you to break up with her because she would feel shitty if she dumped you after all the good things you two have had together.Rem45 said:
I'm speaking from experience here: SHE SCREWED UP [AND WILL PROBABLY SCREW UP AGAIN AFTER WHAT YOU'VE TOLD US], SO GET RID OF SELF-ESTEEM-DRAINING RELATIONSHIP.
[edit] To clarify: I've had a past girlfriend cheat on me (it was just a kiss then, too, coincidentally). I forgave her, but the damage was done. It ended up that she didn't respect me because I forgave her, and both of us began to resent each other; the trust was gone. The entire relationship fell apart.