This is my 1000th post and so to put down something interesting for it I decided to put down my first page for a short story I'm considering writing please read and criticize:
It was September the 1st 412P.W. and Amelia was 14. Today she was to start her education in The School. This was no normal education as The School was the destination of all 14-19 year olds in the world, an island large enough to handle a population of 50,000+ people at once. But once you went in at the age of 14 you didn?t come back out again until you were 19 or sometimes never at all. She was going with her parents down to the docks and almost in reflection of her mood it was drizzling rain that soaked her all the way to the bone. ?Now Amelia I?m gonna give you the same advice I gave your sister? her Father said ?Keep your head down, don?t get involved with anyone dangerous and stay alive remember we can?t help you?. Amelia looked at her father who was trying to keep his face held together to prevent the tears flooding out of him. Her mother didn?t keep any such composure and was openly sobbing unable to look at her daughter.
She boarded the ferry with the other teenagers and sat down in a corner. A guard passed through them giving them each a number from 1-8 they were told to remember this number as it would determine which one of The School?s Districts they were going to be sent to. The ferry moved through the choppy sea towards The School and after what seemed an eternity it arrived at the dock of the first district. ?All inbound students disembark the ferry NOW!? the guard yelled. The students left the ferry and set foot in a different world altogether. Most of the students gawped at the world around them as it was a dock working like normal but without any adults. Some cried at the realisation that they were truly separated from their parents on this island. Not Amelia. She noticed the older people getting back on the ferry and noticed two things about them. They looked sad and tired and worn out but happy to board the ferry. The second thing she noticed was that there were very few of them.
It was September the 1st 412P.W. and Amelia was 14. Today she was to start her education in The School. This was no normal education as The School was the destination of all 14-19 year olds in the world, an island large enough to handle a population of 50,000+ people at once. But once you went in at the age of 14 you didn?t come back out again until you were 19 or sometimes never at all. She was going with her parents down to the docks and almost in reflection of her mood it was drizzling rain that soaked her all the way to the bone. ?Now Amelia I?m gonna give you the same advice I gave your sister? her Father said ?Keep your head down, don?t get involved with anyone dangerous and stay alive remember we can?t help you?. Amelia looked at her father who was trying to keep his face held together to prevent the tears flooding out of him. Her mother didn?t keep any such composure and was openly sobbing unable to look at her daughter.
She boarded the ferry with the other teenagers and sat down in a corner. A guard passed through them giving them each a number from 1-8 they were told to remember this number as it would determine which one of The School?s Districts they were going to be sent to. The ferry moved through the choppy sea towards The School and after what seemed an eternity it arrived at the dock of the first district. ?All inbound students disembark the ferry NOW!? the guard yelled. The students left the ferry and set foot in a different world altogether. Most of the students gawped at the world around them as it was a dock working like normal but without any adults. Some cried at the realisation that they were truly separated from their parents on this island. Not Amelia. She noticed the older people getting back on the ferry and noticed two things about them. They looked sad and tired and worn out but happy to board the ferry. The second thing she noticed was that there were very few of them.
