Need some help with a crush

[Iron Mal]

Drop your boyfriend into a conversation. Boom, any attraction he feels will melt away instantly.

That sounds like a plan but in practice that is a) quite a harsh blow to your self esteem if you're on the recieving end of that and b) may not nessercaily deter said person if they are that into you (I've had a case where some crazy girl tried to break up me and my girlfriend at the time because she had, I'm going to be generous and call it a crush rather than an obsession, on me).

My personal reccomendation would be just be friendly yet neutral towards them until they try making an advance on you, at that point, outline the fact that you are simply not interested in a romantic/sexual relation with them (make it explicit but not brutal if you know what I mean).

 

[Kriptonite]

I think telling him early on that you already have a significant other. Make sure to do it casually though, don't make a big thing of it. Sorry, that's the best I have for you.

 

[Dottie]

Well,just be alot more masculine around him call him dude,sit slouched,and if you have to ask him for something don't say it in a softer tone say it loud and if you can make point at what you want. it might sound rude just don't over do it and make sure you are not being rude. this usually works he's probably getting mixed signals and from the sound of it he doesn't know what a girl does when she likes a guy. If he's REALLY naieve your gonna have to break his little nerd heart and tell him you just wanna be friends or you need some space.

 

[Trivun]

It's simple, really. Just treat him as a friend, and make no signs that would point to anything more. If he asks "the question", kindly inform him that you would, but you already are spoken for. If he's as considerate as you say, he'll understand.

I agree totally with this. I was in young Richard's position myself a few years ago, and the girl in question, when I asked her out, mentioned she was seeing someone else. This guy happened to be a close friend of mine also, so I was understandably disappointed. However, it passed and I'm still friends with them both over three years later. I even acted with them in two seperate plays after that little occurence. If he's a true friend then he'll get over it and simply treat you as a friend from then onwards. If not then perhaps you're better off without him. Sad but true, hate to be harsh but that's just the risk you have to take. Don't mention it now though, but simply mention when (if) he asks that you already have a boyfriend, and as SharPhoe says, he should understand.

 

[Shadowfaze]

depends. you have to pick! fun! still, see which one will help you pick up your stuff when you "accidently" drop all over the floor. the one that does is the correct choice.

 

[Wildrow12]

-snip-

Thread win, right there. The LotR monologue bit stands out a bit obviously, but the rest was good.

*bows* Thank you, sir.

 

[Insanum]

I have a bit of a problem with a boy at school.

His name is Richard Bloom and he is a die-hard Rozen Maiden fan who has stickers plastered all over his notebook and locker. Usually people would avoid a person like this, but there is a major problem. Richard is in both my English and Photo classes and has sat next to and partnered up with me ever since we met a few weeks ago. We eat lunch together and often have quite stimulating conversations about anime and photography.

Now, Richard is a nice person and quite considerate, but I already have a boyfriend and want to avoid a potentially weird situation in the future. I do not want to do anything that will make him dislike me as we have to sit next to and work together during two class periods for the rest of the year.

I ultimately want him to become a good friend and do not want to hurt his feelings.

Just drop in you have a boyfriend into conversation.

Example:

Boy: So, What did you do last weekend?
you: Ahh, Not much, Just went to see With the other half.

Done!

If he doesnt stop flirtatious behavior, Then really he's not worth it.

 

[Seldon2639]

Above all else, be honest with him. If you would have been interested in him save for the fact that you're in a relationship, tell him that. But, if you do tell him that, be prepared for him to see himself as a boyfriend-in-waiting, rather than as just a friend. You can hope to remain coupled until Richard loses interest, but that's not a sure thing. If you're not interested in him, tell him that.

Men aren't whiny little babies, and we really can take a girl saying "I don't like you romantically". What will drive a hug wedge in your friendship would be you being deceitful about that. If you tell him "I don't want to risk our friendship" or "I would, but I'm seeing someone" it implies that you actually *do* like him romantically. If you then break up with your boyfriend, and don't date Richard, he'll have just cause to be pissed.

Just be direct, and honest, if it comes up

 

[lwm3398]

Yeesh, so many romantic advice threads.