No G.I. Joe For Movie Critics

[shadowstriker86]

This is just another one of those micheal bay monkey splooge films, or as Movie Bob says, "made by a douchebag, for douchebags"

 

[Plinglebob]

Saw the trailer for this and this strikes me as a "Beer Movie" The best way to enjoy it is on DVD with a bunch of mates, a lot of beer and you spend the entire film getting drunk and ripping the piss out of it.

 

[Eatbrainz]

Didnt Shaq wear one of those suits in Steel?

 

[Darth Sea Bass]

It looks like absolute shite but i still want to see it guess i'll wait till it's released on dvd and it's in the bargain bin.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

Ok, keeping it away from Critics actually would not worry me, but marketing to the ignorant does. Yes, mid-america is a place I hate and thats because thats where ignorant religious people thrive and breed. If you are from there though, and reading this, you probably can probably ignore my hate and sorry you're stuck there.

Atleast Inglorious Bastards will be good.

Don't forget District 9! [/shameless fanboy support]

I just wish Hollywood could at least designate some franchises that they're NOT going to remake because they've run out of ideas. That way we'd know what's safe from being tarnished and what's not.

 

[PhoenixFlame]

Expectations are significantly lowered for the GIJoe movie, which means that anyone who goes to see it in spite of that might be pleasantly surprised. Keeping it away from critics as a marketing move is a bit disturbing though. After all, if we're talking about Transformers, that was horribly reviewed, yet made tons of cash. Giant Robots and Megan Fox aside, that's still pretty respectable.

GIJoe, however, doesn't appear to have the benefit of such things. So we'll have to see. For my part, I plan on maybe Netflixing this movie, as I'm extremely nostalgic for the cartoon series and know that any movie live-action adaptation won't live up to it.

 

[Jaebird]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

 

[iggyus]

But seriously after the first trailer, was anyone expecting this to be good?

 

[Chadling]

This is not a GI Joe movie, much like how that terrible superhero movie that came out earlier this year was not an X-Men or even a Marvel-universe-based movie.

Stuff this bad doesn't deserve the shelter of its IP.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

I can't wait to see Pajiba rip this movie apart for the massive pile of monkey poo it is. Their tagline isn't 'scathing reviews, bitchy people' for nothing, y'know.

 

[Circus Ascendant]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

Only one major thing was changed about Watchmen and it made the story make more sense damnit so what are you talking about?

 

[The Great JT]

Not showing it to critics?

You know it's a stinker then.

 

[Nazrel]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

Only one major thing was changed about Watchmen and it made the story make more sense damnit so what are you talking about?

That did not make it make more sense. In fact if held to logical scrutiny it would more than likely caused nuclear Armageddon.

 

[Spinwhiz]

I really hope they don't ruin a show I loved growing up as a child. *sigh*

 

[Jaebird]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

Only one major thing was changed about Watchmen and it made the story make more sense damnit so what are you talking about?

That did not make it make more sense. In fact if held to logical scrutiny it would more than likely caused nuclear Armageddon.

All I wanted to was to see that scene with Rorschach and the kidnapper done properly. Not Rorschach throwing a hissy-fit and chopping the guy's head with a butcher's knife.

 

[Circus Ascendant]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

Only one major thing was changed about Watchmen and it made the story make more sense damnit so what are you talking about?

That did not make it make more sense. In fact if held to logical scrutiny it would more than likely caused nuclear Armageddon.

All I wanted to was to see that scene with Rorschach and the kidnapper done properly. Not Rorschach throwing a hissy-fit and chopping the guy's head with a butcher's knife.

Jbird I do agree with you there, I'd thought about it last time I watched through the movie but I'd forgotten it while reading this thread.

Nazrel, I disagree. How it is done in the movie I feel mirrors Rorschach's words "An attack on one is an attack on all" because it is an attack on all and puts all the nations in the same boat.

 

[Nazrel]

The ten out of eleven people (link [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/]) saying it's good are still not enough to sway me. If there weren't those knock-off Iron Man suits in the film, I might care about seeing it. Then again, the people behind the film had big enough balls to do that, unlike a particular adaptation that changed major scenes to appease the masses... [cough]Watchmen[/cough]

Only one major thing was changed about Watchmen and it made the story make more sense damnit so what are you talking about?

That did not make it make more sense. In fact if held to logical scrutiny it would more than likely caused nuclear Armageddon.

All I wanted to was to see that scene with Rorschach and the kidnapper done properly. Not Rorschach throwing a hissy-fit and chopping the guy's head with a butcher's knife.

Jbird I do agree with you there, I'd thought about it last time I watched through the movie but I'd forgotten it while reading this thread.

Nazrel, I disagree. How it is done in the movie I feel mirrors Rorschach's words "An attack on one is an attack on all" because it is an attack on all and puts all the nations in the same boat.

The Russians were attacked by the American super weapon. They aren't going to wait to compare note with the aggressor.

The original ending was an attack on all, it was an alien threat attacking humanity; not just attacking the U.S.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Bad movie alert! It's a bad movie alert! People are willing to go to movies when given expectations rather than feeling scorned by the people who made the movie. Word of mouth has a much more powerful form of influence than critics anyway.

EDIT: Well there is only one thing to do. Send in the Moviebob!

Do we really want to kill him though?

 

[GonzoGamer]

Doesn't this movie have Damon Wayans? For that fact alone, anybody who thought this movie was going to be good deserves a slap in the face. Damon Wayans: Failure.

it's marlon, not damon. i'm not sure if that's higher or lower on the Wayans scale of bad acting.

Definitely lower.
Damon is just depressing. Marlon is embarrassingly bad.
Yea, when I heard he was in it, I knew this would be terrible. Until then I held some hope mostly because I found Transformers to be pretty entertaining.