No Right Answer: Most Idiotic Fictitious Corporation Ever

[Bindal]

I have to SERIOUSLY defense Umbrella here.
1 - they never intended to use the T-Virus on human to make zombies and use those as weapons. Unexpencted, unwanted side-effect. NOT the main-goal.
2 - Most of their mutations they consider as "failure" or "only halfway there". For example, the later Tyrant-Models (The ones you see in 2, Nemesis and Umbrella Chronicals) work just as intended. AS WEAPONS (or bodyguards in one case).
3 - Even some of the "failures" they consider okay if they are somewhat more controllable. Namely their Hunters. Later variants, again, work as intended. Just they can't control them as they can control Tyrants. Namely, they don't different between friends and foes.
Also, Las Plagas? They were out-of-business by that time, they didn't even EXIST anymore! Those guys, who do use it, are religious zealots (and terrorists, technically).
(Sidenote: Movie-Variant of Umbrella is not related to the Games-Variant. Alice is purely made up for the movies, which have their own canon. And suck, for the most part.)


So... actually, Umbrealla would have been fine wouldn't there some nutjobs at charge as well as TWO SABOTAGE ATTEMPTS AT ONCE (Zero and the original).
And when you think about it - having a fully controllable Tyrant kind of makes you a real threat, doesn't it? And selling those off like your average tank, Umbrella would have made quite a bit of money

And regarding Weyland-Yutani... please consider that there are basically two versions of it.
1 - the one only in the Alien Movie-Francise (and the upcoming "Colonial Marines")
2 - the one in that as well as the AvP-Games.

In case of Variant 1, we have only two cases, where we know they wanted to "tame Xenomorphs". Alien and Aliens. In former case, they didn't know anything about them as it was basically the 'first confirmed' contact with them and in Aliens... well, they mostly send in Colonial Marines, which don't work for Waylend-Yutani and their job was in fact "Kill 'em all" (just that we had ONE idiot, who decided to capture one again. For unknown reasons).
Now in Alien 4, we have an entire different cooperation which clones them as Waylend-Yutani was bought up by WALL-MART (but neither was related to what happened in the movie). And yes, those scientists were the total numb-nuts.
The mentioned terraforming - yes, they got that. But it still takes about decaded, maybe centuries to actually make a planet fully habitable? Which is mentioned in the movie.

Regarding Variant 2... I don't even know, if the first AvP-Shooter is canon or not. If not, AvP2010 would be the first event after Aliens and there, yes, they were idiots. But at least they had the security... which only failed because of an unexpected EMP-Pulse from another project. I rather call them out on having too many thing at the same time going.
After that... AvP2 happens and there, yes blame them as much as you like, they now deserve it after nearly 100 years.


So, if you actually bother to do some background checks (and get your facts straight), you start to notice that both companies aren't as stupid as you make them out. Still, W-Y is obviously unwilling to learn on the long term, so... yes...

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

Points should really be deducted from both sides.

Weyland-Yutani no longer exists by the time Alien: Resurrection takes place. Prior to the movie the company ran into financial trouble (surprise, surprise) and was bought out. If you're one to take deleted scenes as canon, it's implied that Walmart bought them.

Meanwhile, Umbrella Corporation wasn't involved with Las Plagas or Uroboros. The introduction sequence to Resident Evil 4 even specifically mentions the fate of Umbrella Corporation.

 

[el_kabong]

Although Chris won the debate (as he should have, given that Umbrella is the obvious winner), I must nerd it up a little and say that a point should be deducted from Kyle. One of the point-winning arguments is concerning Alien: Resurrection, which Weyland-Yutani was not in.

Actually, going by the logic that they should've only gotten points for stuff the company was actually involved with, Chris should've lost on the technicality that Umbrella didn't do half of the stuff he even mentioned, at least as far as the games (and cgi movies) are concerned (haven't seen more than just the Live action first movie).

Fair enough. I'm definitely not well-versed in RE lore. However, with your assertion as an RE expert and my fact-checking against Alien mythos, I think we have enough evidence to warrant a recount.

 

[Skops]

Ugh, I'm about to reveal that I have paid too much attention in Resident Evil games and point out that a few of Chris's main arguements are a little too blunt.

- the t-virus was sopposed to be a revolutionary medicine that was to be able to rapidly re-animate open wounds(gun shots, fatal cuts etc.) that was it's point. Once the failure of the T-Virus was seen, they wanted to make the best of it and made the enhanced G-Virus was manufactured to make B.O.Ws and sell them to the military (the idea was: cage them, paradrop them in enemy territory and watch them fuck up everything)

- Umbrella did go out of business, after the events of Resident Evil 3: Nemisis (they nuke raccoon city) it is revealed in the Resident Evil 4 intro Umbrella's stocks crashed and the company was destroyed.

- Resident Evil 5 did not feature Umbrella except an cameo in a decrepted camp site; Tri-cell was being controlled by Wesker.

- Las Plagas had nothing to do with Umbrella. Las Plagas were living organisms/parasites that were buried underground by the Spanish people for hundreds of years and then were resurfaced by the Los Illuminados.

Things Chris should have mentioned:

- Umbrella bases all have a self destruct function that is easily triggered. And is always triggered. Every. fucking. Time.

- In RE3, a pharmacy video shows that Umbrella had a license to sell medicinal ECSTASY.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

The mentioned terraforming - yes, they got that. But it still takes about decaded, maybe centuries to actually make a planet fully habitable? Which is mentioned in the movie.

Never specifically mentioned in canon. It's likely not as much as a century, though, as the atmosphere processor was constructed during the 57 years Ripley was floating around in the Narcissus. By the events of Aliens, the moon LV-426 is already pretty much habitable. The weather sucks, sure... but those colonists had already been living there for years self-sufficiently with no need for special equipment to go outside.

Regarding Variant 2... I don't even know, if the first AvP-Shooter is canon or not.

It's not. Beyond AvP being a spin-off of two different franchises, it creates a ton of plot holes, anachronisms, and general inconsistencies in both universes. Same applies to the very short-lived Alien vs. Predator vs. Terminator universe. Or that one time Batman fought the Xenomorph.

 

[Thunderous Cacophony]

Umbrella has the excuse of having to work with approximately real-world technology; Weyland does not. Theoretically, capturing an Alien and using it as a weapon would be straightforward and deadly: you just chuck it at a continent you don't like. However, after having lost an entire team of commandos in the second film for exactly zero return, you'd think they would realize that conventional weapons are much easier to get and use, and result in fewer horrific casualties among your employees.

For third, I'm definitely going to go with Aperture Science. I mean, they were trying to create shower curtains and ended up with the portal device and a robot that killed them all.

That's only because the Counter-Heimlich Maneuver was a commercial failure!

 

[Bindal]

The mentioned terraforming - yes, they got that. But it still takes about decaded, maybe centuries to actually make a planet fully habitable? Which is mentioned in the movie.

Never specifically mentioned in canon. It's likely not as much as a century, though, as the atmosphere processor was constructed during the 57 years Ripley was floating around in the Narcissus. By the events of Aliens, the moon LV-426 is already pretty much habitable. The weather sucks, sure... but those colonists had already been living there for years self-sufficiently with no need for special equipment to go outside.

I watches Aliens yesterday and yes, it is mentioned DIRECTLY that it takes that long. Could be Special Edition Exclusive, however. Still, they say it outright.

Regarding Variant 2... I don't even know, if the first AvP-Shooter is canon or not.

It's not. Beyond AvP being a spin-off of two different franchises, it creates a ton of plot holes, anachronisms, and general inconsistencies in both universes. Same applies to the very short-lived Alien vs. Predator vs. Terminator universe. Or that one time Batman fought the Xenomorph.[/quote]

This was more of a question within the "AvP"-Universe. While the other Crossovers I don't consider canon in any form, the actual AvP-Games (and comics) I do WITHIN THEIR OWN UNIVERSE. Of course, both "Alien" and "Predator"-Universe are real in that Universe while the other way around, it doesn't have to be the case.

 

[Kenjitsuka]

Great debate, great choices and really awesome how Chris can make anything sound hilarious!
In summation; one of the best episodes in a while! Keep it up guys!

 

[LysanderNemoinis]

I love No Right Answer, but this episode was kind of a mess. Funny, but a mess. Methinks Kyle hasn't seen the Alien movies in quite some time and Chris...I'm not even sure he's played any of the Resident Evil games. Perhaps he just heard about them, or skipped every cut scene and file found in any of the games, as the number of things he gets flat wrong is staggering. And I love you Chris, but I swear to God, please don't ever mention those utter sacks of celluloid failure as being part of Resident Evil. I have a pet Nemesis, and I'm not afraid to use him. Capiche?

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

I watches Aliens yesterday and yes, it is mentioned DIRECTLY that it takes that long. Could be Special Edition Exclusive, however. Still, they say it outright.

I've seen the movie, at this point, hundreds of times. That's incorrect. They say that full terraforming takes centuries. It's habitable earlier than that, though, as evidenced by Hadley's Hope. And even then, "centuries" his hardly a specific amount of time - so no, still not specifically mentioned.

Hadley's Hope and the Weyland-Yutani atmosphere processor weren't in existence yet during the events of Alien. Ripley was only floating around for 57 years. If it took centuries for the planet to be habitable, Hadley's Hope wouldn't have been self-sufficient and it's unlikely that the characters would have been walking around outdoors without protective apparel like in Alien.

This was more of a question within the "AvP"-Universe. While the other Crossovers I don't consider canon in any form, the actual AvP-Games (and comics) I do WITHIN THEIR OWN UNIVERSE. Of course, both "Alien" and "Predator"-Universe are real in that Universe while the other way around, it doesn't have to be the case.

They're within their own universe, yes. But they're not within the Alien universe. So the "AvP-Universe" is more or less irrelevant as it has no real connection to canon. Because of inconsistencies/holes in the stories, it's actually impossible for the "AvP-universe" (especially if factoring in the comics/novels, though you don't need to) to co-exist with either of the main universes. The main universes can't exist without creating contradictions.

Hell, even the "AvP-universe" of just the games frequently contradicts itself.

 

[Dango]

Yeah... Chris really doesn't seem to really know anything about Umbrella, or the Resident Evil series in general. Not that Umbrella wasn't a bit crazy sometimes (and their plan wasn't just "Make Monsters", it was to create B.O.W.s like the tyrant), but saying Umbrella had anything to do with Las Plagas or Uroburos is just terrible... and wrong... and stupid.

And don't you ever call Jill "Master of Unlocking" Valentine or Chris "Boulder Punching" Redfield idiots.

 

[Count_A'ight]

O.C.P. all the way. Either for the idea of letting military drones patrol the streets of Old Detroit(and ED-209 would have been on every street corner if it hadn't been for that little malfunction) or for re-animating a dead police officer and turning him into a machine capable of killing ANYTHING! Then they tried to duplicate Robocop with more firepower and the mind of a drug kingpin/cult leader. Hell, they gave Clarence and his goons a bunch of Cobra assault cannons and they just blew up a block of Detroit(not that anyone who really notice). Omni Consumer Products gets my vote for most insidious corporation.

 

[Bindal]

I watches Aliens yesterday and yes, it is mentioned DIRECTLY that it takes that long. Could be Special Edition Exclusive, however. Still, they say it outright.

I've seen the movie, at this point, hundreds of times. That's incorrect. They say that full terraforming takes centuries. It's habitable earlier than that, though, as evidenced by Hadley's Hope. And even then, "centuries" his hardly a specific amount of time - so no, still not specifically mentioned.

Hadley's Hope and the Weyland-Yutani atmosphere processor weren't in existence yet during the events of Alien. Ripley was only floating around for 57 years. If it took centuries for the planet to be habitable, Hadley's Hope wouldn't have been self-sufficient and it's unlikely that the characters would have been walking around outdoors without protective apparel like in Alien.

I hardly would call LV-428 "habitable". There is air to breath now, yes - but storms en masse and no fauna whatsoever! The whole colony feel more like an outpost as of now. So, even to get to a form, which you could at least walk outside for a walk probably would have taken a while.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

I hardly would call LV-428 "habitable". There is air to breath now, yes - but storms en masse and no fauna whatsoever! The whole colony feel more like an outpost as of now. So, even to get to a form, which you could at least walk outside for a walk probably would have taken a while.

Are people living on it? Yes. Have they been living there for a substantial period of time? Yes. Are they getting along okay (y'know, except for that whole xenomorph infestation)? Yes.

Habitable. Inhospitable =/= uninhabitable.

If the weather being shit meant that a location wasn't habitable, I guess places like Seattle and London aren't habitable.

 

[DTWolfwood]

Umbrella really is the stupidest corporation ever. How is turning the world population into zombies be considered good for business?

 

[restoshammyman]

4th movie wasnt Weyland-Yutani.

 

[Yopaz]

Umbrella really is the stupidest corporation ever. How is turning the world population into zombies be considered good for business?

Spoiler: obvious joke alert, open this at your own risk!

It works for Apple!

Not sure myself what I'd considered the dumbest company, but you can't go wrong with either of these.

 

[orangeapples]

I'd have to say the dumbest corporation in fiction has to be the people who backed the science facility in Deep Blue Sea. This group of scientists were trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's. They did this by experimenting on mako sharks. The process involved making the brains of the sharks bigger. One of the UNEXPECTED side effects was the sharks became smarter.

I mean, this group of scientists must have submitted a proposal and this had to get approved. Whoever that company is, they're a bunch of idiots. It isn't like this was some rogue group of scientists. The company sent someone to the facility to monitor progress.

The scientists are a bunch of idiots and the company that backed them is even worse.

I remember watching this movie thinking, "Why sharks? Why not something harmless? Like sheep. What would be the worst thing to happen in a world with slightly smarter sheep?" I was like 13 at the time.

 

[Swarmcrow]

my god! did you people get wayland yutani all wrong!

ok first

wayland yutani doesn't want the aliens for weapons, they want to study the creature, it just happens that military scientific research funds is the best way to go

seconds Wayland yutani is presence in the movies is always external and we really don't know how much the company knows about the whole situation, since in the first alien they know about the alien but they didn't know a crap about them in aliens

wayland yutani is just metaphor for the danger of searching for the truth, not an evil greedy corporation like umbrella

 

[Darth_Payn]

I somehow knew Umbrella would take home the prize on this one, even though they weren't involved in RE's 4-6, seeing as how not existing anymore throws a monkeywrench into those works. I lost count of how many non-numbered spinoffs there are so I can't say how much Umbrealla was in those. Who else could make it on to Topless Robot's Lists of Stupidest AND Most Evil Fictional Corporations?

On another note, who would be the dumbest Evil Empire in fiction? My vote goes to Panem from the Hunger Games trilogy, because the richest dress like fruits and making your youngest kill each other every year is just no way to run a state. MovieBob put it best in his Hunger Games review.