No Sex Please, We're Microsoft

Albino Boo

New member
Jun 14, 2010
4,667
0
0
NLS said:
Baresark said:
Ok, here I go at humor....

Now they only have 9 apps on the device!

How did I do?

All the joking aside, them limiting apps on the phone isn't helping them. I use Android, though I have never used any kind of apps for porn (didn't even think to check, I would rather use my desktop with it's 27" monitor to look at lady part though). I know one guy who uses a Windows phone. And there is nothing on it for him. I wish Microsoft would stop sticking their heads in markets where everyone else does it better. Mobile OS's, MP3 players, videogames.... Ok, maybe that last on is arguable, but you get my drift.
I guess Microsoft just doesn't want a case of "Group for the Protection of Children and Christian Values is amassing a class-action law suit against microsoft for not putting enough restrictions on adult material available to kids using W7 phones". It's pretty much bound to happen sooner or later.
With all due respect this has nothing at all to do with America. Microsoft is operating on global level and most non EU/US countries are considerably more socially conservative. Selling to the 300 million strong in middle class in India the no porn is a selling plus. The same can be said of most middle eastern countries and China is very restrictive about porn. The BRIC's are where the sales growth is coming from and in the current economic climate and companies are tailoring their products and services to that market. Microsoft isn't going to beat Apple or Google in the western markets so they risk nothing in trying to get market share elsewhere.
 

PrinceBuffoon

New member
Nov 29, 2011
22
0
0
Heh. Heh heh. Heheheheh. Symbian. I bet that has a lot more porn apps than Android. Man, I can't believe no one stopped them from calling it that.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
14,334
0
0
Um..... I got nothing.

Incidentally, who the hell would want to look at porn on their phone anyway? It's not as though those things have great resolution. Like are you that desperate for boobs that you can't wait till you get home and get on the Internet?
 

Arakasi

New member
Jun 14, 2011
1,252
0
0
Want to see something perfectly natural that people have done for 10000's of years?
HELL NO.

Want to blow out a supernatural being's brains out with a laser rife?
HELL YES!

Censorship is a funny thing.
 

Woodsey

New member
Aug 9, 2009
14,553
0
0
Why not just have an "adult" section and still rake in the dolla?

If I can't jerk it on the go then I don't want to fucking live anymore.
 

disappointed

New member
Sep 14, 2011
97
0
0
I've seen some of the porn apps on Android. They're universally rubbish and look as virus riddled as the women they display. Actually, very few apps of any kind do anything HTML can't do now anyway. Nothing of value will be lost by this.

It should clean the marketplace up a bit but will they take the same stance on fart apps, Bieber sound boards and prank cracked screen apps?
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
2,581
0
0
I never got the appeal of porn on mobile devices, honestly. Wouldn't anyone rather be back home, with a comfortable environment to, well, "self-stimulate" oneself to, than just be stuck with a tiny screen that's probably covered in finger marks?

"Oshit, I'm in the middle of my subway commute to work, but I just got this MASSIVE boner, right now! I must fap! Quick, Ridiculously Small Screen to the rescue!"

I mean, seriously. Dates with Rosie Palms can feel undignified as is, for some people - it just seems to me that expecting a smartphone to cater to that need is a little self-castigating.

I'd much rather use my TV or an actual computer screen than my Windows Phone for my weekly doses of smut.
 

Dastardly

Imaginary Friend
Apr 19, 2010
2,420
0
0
They're missing out on a wide range of possible moneymakers here, like the uFap: A sort of "masturbatory pedometer," (That's "pedo-" as in foot, folks) which estimates calories burned per 'session.' Promoting healthy behaviors in several ways at once!

(patent pending)
 

Formica Archonis

Anonymous Source
Nov 13, 2009
2,312
0
0
Andy Chalk said:
You know what's great about Android? Porn.
(Fires up The Sexy Data Tango.)

Andy Chalk said:
"Our content policies are clearly spelled out: we don't allow apps containing 'sexually suggestive or provocative' images or content," Todd Brix, the senior director of the Windows Phone Market, wrote on the Windows Phone Developer Blog [http://windowsteamblog.com/windows_phone/b/wpdev/archive/2012/04/30/four-ways-we-re-improving-marketplace.aspx].
Betamax vs. VHS: Porn went VHS. VHS won.
DIVX vs. DVD: Porn wasn't allowed on DIVX. DVD won.
BluRay vs. HD-DVD: Porn went HD-DVD. BluRay won.

Hmmm. Not completely a lost cause but not the best odds.

Andy Chalk said:
"We take this responsibility seriously and evaluate and discuss questionable cases.
So it's kind of like "I'll know it when I see it, so I want to see it all."?

Andy Chalk said:
"We will also monitor customer reaction to apps and reserve the right to remove ones that our customers find offensive."
So, everything?

Andy Chalk said:
Microsoft currently holds 3.9 percent of the smartphone market, well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is.
I misread that as Sybian. Am I the only one?
 

Cryo84R

Gentleman Bastard.
Jun 27, 2009
732
0
0
So Windows Phone 7 and iOS don't have a web browser?
I'm pretty sure that's where you get porn.
 

gibboss28

New member
Feb 2, 2008
1,715
0
0
Formica Archonis said:
Betamax vs. VHS: Porn went VHS. VHS won.
DIVX vs. DVD: Porn wasn't allowed on DIVX. DVD won.
BluRay vs. HD-DVD: Porn went HD-DVD. BluRay won.

Hmmm. Not completely a lost cause but not the best odds.
Coulda sworn the pr0ns went with Blu-Ray...

Anyway, most people have made the jokes, so I feel sort of pointless here.

Gibboss, AWAY!

 

The Human Torch

New member
Sep 12, 2010
750
0
0
008Zulu said:
Its all in the name; Micro-Soft. Micro Soft.

Porn makes the world go round. Its why VHS beat Beta, its why its why blu-ray beat hd-dvd. Its why Android will topple Apple.
Except that that was never the reason why VHS won and most porn companies actually signed up with HD-DVD, not blu-ray.

OT: This is just so stupid, if people want to watch porn, let them watch porn. Why censor people's choices because you personally don't agree with it. Are they going to start censoring porn on computers using Windows as well?

Edit:
Found a decent explanation as to why VHS actually won from the Beta Max, one that doesn't involve the nonsense that it was the porn industry and the porn industry alone. It was a part of it, but definitely not the biggest part.

There were several reasons... like the Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD format war of today, this wasn't decided overnight, or by any single thing.

The first was recording time. When Sony introduced BetaMax, it recorded one hour of video per tape. JVC came out shortly after with VHS, and it initially supported two hours per tape.

This keyed into the second win for VHS -- rentals. A single VHS tape could hold a whole movie, while you needed two tapes for Betamax.

Third was licensing and cost. Sony, as they often have been, were not aggressively licensing the technology, and they wanted a fair bit of money for it. JVC was licensing on the cheap, and also made their cassettes cheap.

So as rentals started being a factor, VHS started winning. It wasn't overnight... Sony introduced a longer playing mode, 2 hours on the Betamax... then JVC introduced four hours (LP mode) then six hours (SLP or EP mode), and by then, it was history. Anyway, rentals started to become big business, and VHS proved superior here, between licensing and length... more releases on VHS meant more to rent, which could be important for new people buying a player.

There's some evidence that the ability to rent X-Rated tapes also pushed VHS. This has some foundation.. before videotape, the Pornography Industry was tiny. Rentals, and later cable/satellite, made it the multi-billion-dollar business it is today.
http://www.law.indiana.edu/fclj/pubs/v49? [http://www.law.indiana.edu/fclj/pubs/v49/no1/johnson.html]

There have been arguments that Betamax had higher quality video, and that is technically correct, but exaggerated. And unimportant. When VCRs came out, virtually no televisions had composite video inputs, you had to hook into via the antenna input, modulated usually on channel 3 or 4 in the USA. That killed the quality of video and sound enough that few were willing to give up time for quality.

And then the original purpose, time shifting, was becoming an everyday thing for many people.. that's where the longer record times for VHS really won... you didn't care all that much about the quality, you would have missed it if not for that 6 hour time (up to 8 hours on special long tapes).
 

insanelich

Reportable Offender
Sep 3, 2008
443
0
0
Symbian is the granddad of smartphone operating systems.

And also the very long term holder of the biggest smartphone OS out there.

Of course, now it's very seriously showing it's age. And then Microsoft paid A Very Large Sum of money to kill it.
 

Formica Archonis

Anonymous Source
Nov 13, 2009
2,312
0
0
The Human Torch said:
OT: This is just so stupid, if people want to watch porn, let them watch porn. Why censor people's choices because you personally don't agree with it. Are they going to start censoring porn on computers using Windows as well?
Hey, if this Trusted Computing thing ever becomes common, it's entirely possible.

ObXKCD:
 

ShindoL Shill

Truely we are the Our Avatars XI
Jul 11, 2011
21,802
0
0
So, are they also removing the internet?
And, I suppose, the ability to put a pictures/videos on the phone.
 

Saulkar

Regular Member
Legacy
Aug 25, 2010
3,142
2
13
Country
Canuckistan
DVS BSTrD said:
You can have my porno,
When you pry it from my cramped, calloused hands!
GOD! Your junk must be PHUCKED up!
 

PoweD

New member
Mar 26, 2009
313
0
0
This is going to get hard for Microsoft
They could have profited off this, considering that there is no porn on the iPhone.

Android Market needs an adult section where only there porn apps are viewable.I don't want a really buggy porn app that's just a collection of pictures, even less to see then while browsing for new games.