Nonsensical Statements

[PumpItUp]

"I couldn?t care less if the entire building spontaneously filled with eagle semen." -Russ Pitts, The Eagle Semen Email

"Like wrestling an excitable dog in a paddling pool full of disembodied breasts." - Ben Croshaw, Saints Row 2 review

This thread here serves two purposes.
First, it is a celebration of the nonsensical statement, that enigmatic phrase that makes absolutely no sense, but is a riot to read.
And secondly, it is an attempt to humor the Escapist Staff/Gods watching above as we bring to light our favorite nonsensical statements.

Simply put, why do you think nonsenscial statements (NSs) are so effective despite making no sense and what is your favorite NS?

 

[xitel]

The point is to make it sound like it should make sense, but be open to interpretation so that everybody can relate to them. Like the old standby:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" ~ FDR.

It contradicts itself, when you think about it deeply, but when you look at it on the surface, it's inspiring.

 

[Fightgarr]

"Its fun to make no sense, but its more to make funner sense."
-A friend of mine, 2001

 

[ExplosionProofTaco]

My Friend said 'Your legs are trucks made of helium' to me yesturday

 

[rottenbutter]

When I broke my leg, my uncle wrote, "Never pet a burning dog," on my cast.

Words to live by.

 

[jim_doki]

you want nonsence? ok! Everybody Wiggle with me!

Peas! Peas! Peas!

 

[meatloaf231]

"I'm going thirty-two purples an hour!"

 

[Klagermeister]

"OUT COME THE INTESTINES! And I skip rope with them."

 

[Vinculi]

"NOBODY WITH A MULLET IS RESPONSIBLE!"
-My father.

 

[Draygen]

My friend Katie after ONE margarita when going through the drive through at Wendy's.

(After placing our order)
"Katie, did you want something to drink?"

"Yesh... I'll have... a baked potato!"

 

[BasicMojo]

I should punch you in the feet!

 

[Vinculi]

"He went to India to eat cheeseburgers for the rest of his life. After his life he went to India to try the cheeseburgers, he died of a cheese overdose."

 

[irishdelinquent]

My brother, attempting to say that "The cat's out of the bag"


"Bag's on the floor, might as well open it!"

 

[The Grue]

Amazationed at the fact that I actually made this account. The Grue? Seriously? No one's taken it? Wow.

Anyway... on topic... "That soda looks like underwater aquariums," -some drunk dude. Or I just made it up, you decide.

 

[Adam Jenson]

Amazationed at the fact that I actually made this account. The Grue? Seriously? No one's taken it? Wow.

Anyway... on topic... "That soda looks like underwater aquariums," -some drunk dude. Or I just made it up, you decide.

a mutant and masterminds fan are we?

"Boys we not gonna win, but we're gonna kick arse" my brothers soccer coach. NOT a professional orator

 

[The Grue]

-chomp-

a mutant and masterminds fan are we?

Apparently not for the Grue knows not what you speak of.

 

[Adam Jenson]

-chomp-

a mutant and masterminds fan are we?

Apparently not for the Grue knows not what you speak of.

i'll PM you a link mate

 

[NeoAC]

"Dude, I just went through the McDonald's drive thru in a shopping cart!" Myself, apparently. The video was on my phone the next day, so I guess its true.

 

[Anarchemitis]

You can find my house! [http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=RlBb96vnPZc]