Not having the time to listen.

[Spider RedNight]

So you're... what, looking for validation? There's no excuse for being a dick because you didn't care.

I lack social tact too but I was taught when I was really young that you don't do stuff like that. I don't know how you managed to make friends with two people who don't really care that you do it because if I had a friend who chose to walk away instead of listen to me (no matter the importance), I'd feel incredibly offended.

(Despite the sexy icon) I try really hard to go by the "do unto others" rule; if I'm taking a giant risk by talking to someone I don't know and they walk away from me mid-conversation and it's not for something intense like needing to projectile vomit (not that I'd know), I'd feel crushed and my self-esteem would clip even further into the ground.

So no. If you aren't planning on causing actual, physical damage if you remain in a conversation with someone, I'd never do that. It's rude and demeaning and saying "well I TRY not to do it" is about as valid as someone saying "well I TRY not spit in your food" and then do it anyway.

I mean... damn.

No, I'm not seeking validation. I was just curious if others did similar stuff as well. I couldn't care any less whether someone validates what I do or not. I don't do it to my friends for two reasons. 1. They are my friends and while I have wanted to before I don't because they are my friends. I don't do it to family either. 2. They don't usually waste my time with small talk or stuff I don't care about. When we do make small talk we make a little as humanely possible and move onto talk about more important stuff. I told them straight up about the stuff I don't care about and if they want to talk about that stuff they need to speak with someone else about it. Politics being one of the biggest things.

You keep tossing around the phrase "I don't care", which makes it more curious that you even bothered making this thread at all; if you care so little then you shouldn't be curious about whether other people do disrespectful things like this.

Rude my ass. You're under no obligation to hold a conversation with anyone unless you attempted to engage in the first place.

What is rude is expecting to be entitled to someone else's attention and/or time and believe that someone ignoring you is THEIR fault.

If someone doesn't want to pay attention to you then YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO THEIR ATTENTION.

The idea that you MUST acknowledge or engage in conversation with someone you do not want to is ludicrous.

....It is their fault. They're leaving the conversation of their own accord and letting the other person know that their time isn't wanted. It's not entitlement when someone's trying to be friendly and you just step on their feelings.

So yes, there's a difference between someone feeling entitled and trying to be friendly and you just walk away from them without something like "I'm bored now". Two wrongs don't make a right and all that jazz.

Also y'know. Never know if you just randomly walk away from that ONE person who was just hoping someone would listen and they pull out a gun and shoot you in the back. So... there's that. Not that I'd know.

ADDENDUM: It's perfectly okay to do this when someone is flirting with you and making you extremely uncomfortable. And I only say that because I've done it but this is after they won't take a hint and keep talking and it makes me want to have a nosebleed.

 

[happyninja42]

So you're... what, looking for validation? There's no excuse for being a dick because you didn't care.

I lack social tact too but I was taught when I was really young that you don't do stuff like that. I don't know how you managed to make friends with two people who don't really care that you do it because if I had a friend who chose to walk away instead of listen to me (no matter the importance), I'd feel incredibly offended.

(Despite the sexy icon) I try really hard to go by the "do unto others" rule; if I'm taking a giant risk by talking to someone I don't know and they walk away from me mid-conversation and it's not for something intense like needing to projectile vomit (not that I'd know), I'd feel crushed and my self-esteem would clip even further into the ground.

So no. If you aren't planning on causing actual, physical damage if you remain in a conversation with someone, I'd never do that. It's rude and demeaning and saying "well I TRY not to do it" is about as valid as someone saying "well I TRY not spit in your food" and then do it anyway.

I mean... damn.

No, I'm not seeking validation. I was just curious if others did similar stuff as well. I couldn't care any less whether someone validates what I do or not. I don't do it to my friends for two reasons. 1. They are my friends and while I have wanted to before I don't because they are my friends. I don't do it to family either. 2. They don't usually waste my time with small talk or stuff I don't care about. When we do make small talk we make a little as humanely possible and move onto talk about more important stuff. I told them straight up about the stuff I don't care about and if they want to talk about that stuff they need to speak with someone else about it. Politics being one of the biggest things.

You keep talking about your friends. You do realize that the way you make friends is by communicating with them right? And that at some point they were strangers, and you had to initiate a shared activity/conversation to become friends? That's kind of what socializing is, and going out to a public place, that is designed to let people mingle and socialize is sort of a recipe for being talked to by strangers. It kind of comes with the territory. Assuming you keep those same friends forever, (which I don't, because friends can change a lot over time), then I guess you can just brush off whoever you want. But you might lose those friends at some later date, and you would have to go find new ones, which would mean speaking to people you don't know. So maybe learning how to politely end a conversation would be a good skill for you to learn. It's not really a Herculian effort to end a conversation in a polite way, of course, it requires the person actually wanting to be polite about it, which you clearly don't.

But hey, you say you don't care at all, so feel free to ignore what I've said if you want.

 

[Bat Vader]

So you're... what, looking for validation? There's no excuse for being a dick because you didn't care.

I lack social tact too but I was taught when I was really young that you don't do stuff like that. I don't know how you managed to make friends with two people who don't really care that you do it because if I had a friend who chose to walk away instead of listen to me (no matter the importance), I'd feel incredibly offended.

(Despite the sexy icon) I try really hard to go by the "do unto others" rule; if I'm taking a giant risk by talking to someone I don't know and they walk away from me mid-conversation and it's not for something intense like needing to projectile vomit (not that I'd know), I'd feel crushed and my self-esteem would clip even further into the ground.

So no. If you aren't planning on causing actual, physical damage if you remain in a conversation with someone, I'd never do that. It's rude and demeaning and saying "well I TRY not to do it" is about as valid as someone saying "well I TRY not spit in your food" and then do it anyway.

I mean... damn.

No, I'm not seeking validation. I was just curious if others did similar stuff as well. I couldn't care any less whether someone validates what I do or not. I don't do it to my friends for two reasons. 1. They are my friends and while I have wanted to before I don't because they are my friends. I don't do it to family either. 2. They don't usually waste my time with small talk or stuff I don't care about. When we do make small talk we make a little as humanely possible and move onto talk about more important stuff. I told them straight up about the stuff I don't care about and if they want to talk about that stuff they need to speak with someone else about it. Politics being one of the biggest things.

You keep tossing around the phrase "I don't care", which makes it more curious that you even bothered making this thread at all; if you care so little then you shouldn't be curious about whether other people do disrespectful things like this.

Rude my ass. You're under no obligation to hold a conversation with anyone unless you attempted to engage in the first place.

What is rude is expecting to be entitled to someone else's attention and/or time and believe that someone ignoring you is THEIR fault.

If someone doesn't want to pay attention to you then YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO THEIR ATTENTION.

The idea that you MUST acknowledge or engage in conversation with someone you do not want to is ludicrous.

....It is their fault. They're leaving the conversation of their own accord and letting the other person know that their time isn't wanted. It's not entitlement when someone's trying to be friendly and you just step on their feelings.

So yes, there's a difference between someone feeling entitled and trying to be friendly and you just walk away from them without something like "I'm bored now". Two wrongs don't make a right and all that jazz.

Also y'know. Never know if you just randomly walk away from that ONE person who was just hoping someone would listen and they pull out a gun and shoot you in the back. So... there's that. Not that I'd know.

ADDENDUM: It's perfectly okay to do this when someone is flirting with you and making you extremely uncomfortable. And I only say that because I've done it but this is after they won't take a hint and keep talking and it makes me want to have a nosebleed.

I'm curious if other people do it. Nothing more than curiosity. I don't care if people think I am rude for doing it.

 

[Bat Vader]

So you're... what, looking for validation? There's no excuse for being a dick because you didn't care.

I lack social tact too but I was taught when I was really young that you don't do stuff like that. I don't know how you managed to make friends with two people who don't really care that you do it because if I had a friend who chose to walk away instead of listen to me (no matter the importance), I'd feel incredibly offended.

(Despite the sexy icon) I try really hard to go by the "do unto others" rule; if I'm taking a giant risk by talking to someone I don't know and they walk away from me mid-conversation and it's not for something intense like needing to projectile vomit (not that I'd know), I'd feel crushed and my self-esteem would clip even further into the ground.

So no. If you aren't planning on causing actual, physical damage if you remain in a conversation with someone, I'd never do that. It's rude and demeaning and saying "well I TRY not to do it" is about as valid as someone saying "well I TRY not spit in your food" and then do it anyway.

I mean... damn.

No, I'm not seeking validation. I was just curious if others did similar stuff as well. I couldn't care any less whether someone validates what I do or not. I don't do it to my friends for two reasons. 1. They are my friends and while I have wanted to before I don't because they are my friends. I don't do it to family either. 2. They don't usually waste my time with small talk or stuff I don't care about. When we do make small talk we make a little as humanely possible and move onto talk about more important stuff. I told them straight up about the stuff I don't care about and if they want to talk about that stuff they need to speak with someone else about it. Politics being one of the biggest things.

You keep talking about your friends. You do realize that the way you make friends is by communicating with them right? And that at some point they were strangers, and you had to initiate a shared activity/conversation to become friends? That's kind of what socializing is, and going out to a public place, that is designed to let people mingle and socialize is sort of a recipe for being talked to by strangers. It kind of comes with the territory. Assuming you keep those same friends forever, (which I don't, because friends can change a lot over time), then I guess you can just brush off whoever you want. But you might lose those friends at some later date, and you would have to go find new ones, which would mean speaking to people you don't know. So maybe learning how to politely end a conversation would be a good skill for you to learn. It's not really a Herculian effort to end a conversation in a polite way, of course, it requires the person actually wanting to be polite about it, which you clearly don't.

But hey, you say you don't care at all, so feel free to ignore what I've said if you want.

I am perfectly willing to communicate with someone as long they don't make small talk. A very small amount is tolerable but when I try and steer the conversation into something more conversation worthy and the person continues to make small talk I write that person off.

 

[visiblenoise]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

 

[Jopoho]

This is an easy way to burn a lot of bridges quickly. So no, I don't think I could ever be convinced to do this. There's must be thousands of phrases that send the message "I don't want to talk" that let people save a little face.

You're never entitled to give anyone your time, but just walking away is such an aggressive move. You'd probably ultimately save net time by making a quick excuse for yourself than having to justify yourself or fend off "You should really apologize" complaints, to say nothing of the potential gains elsewhere. A random stranger could you meet today could interview you for your next job. They're not going to remember if you made some excuse for yourself, but they will remember (and care) if you just brush them off.

 

[Nimzabaat]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

It's not autistic. People with autism don't have trouble caring about rudeness, they just have trouble reading the social map. The OP is saying clearly that he's not confused or having trouble understanding the situation, he just doesn't care.

That's not autistic, that's antisocial.

It's classic introvert behavior actually.

http://m.atchuup.com/how-to-understand-introverted-people/

 

[Bat Vader]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

It's not autistic. People with autism don't have trouble caring about rudeness, they just have trouble reading the social map. The OP is saying clearly that he's not confused or having trouble understanding the situation, he just doesn't care.

That's not autistic, that's antisocial.

It's classic introvert behavior actually.

http://m.atchuup.com/how-to-understand-introverted-people/

I am an extreme introvert. Being in any kind of conversation just drains me extremely quickly.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Really?

Wow.

Well ... look ... I get not being interested in what some people say, but that's no reason to drop your manners and just walk off on someone. If someone is trying to engage you in a discussion or manner you don't fancy, let them know - politely. Otherwise you are - I'm afraid - just being rude. Social Interaction 101 - Would you be pissed off if someone behaved in a certain way towards you or a friend of yours? Don't behave in that way to them or a friend of theirs.

 

[DementedSheep]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

It's not autistic. People with autism don't have trouble caring about rudeness, they just have trouble reading the social map. The OP is saying clearly that he's not confused or having trouble understanding the situation, he just doesn't care.

That's not autistic, that's antisocial.

It's classic introvert behavior actually.

http://m.atchuup.com/how-to-understand-introverted-people/

Finding dealing with people exhausting is an introvert thing, being an ass-hole about it is not.

 

[Muspelheim]

An introverted disposition is not a reason to act like a twat. Or like someone 'special'. Either would be my general impression if someone just sulked off out of a conversation. There are millions of ways to quietly end or change the direction of a conversation you don't like. It's not hard.

 

[Nimzabaat]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

It's not autistic. People with autism don't have trouble caring about rudeness, they just have trouble reading the social map. The OP is saying clearly that he's not confused or having trouble understanding the situation, he just doesn't care.

That's not autistic, that's antisocial.

It's classic introvert behavior actually.

http://m.atchuup.com/how-to-understand-introverted-people/

I am an extreme introvert. Being in any kind of conversation just drains me extremely quickly.

I get that. What my advice would be is to talk to your friend who recognizes when you're being rude and enlist their help in figuring out an exit strategy. Even something along the lines of "i'm really sorry but i'm not feeling well" could give you an out that wouldn't come off as rude.

EDIT: If you're not from Canada you can drop the "i'm really sorry".

 

[Godhead]

The only time I've ever really done that is when I would heckle some religious extremist at my college. We did have some nice conversations later on though, and I think that (or at least hope) that I was doing it mostly for some laughs because he really would invite it on himself. I think he graduated, so he probably won't show up as much anymore.

Also, as many people have already said OP:

 

[Bat Vader]

That transcends rude, that's borderline autistic behavior. Even solicitors generally get told "no," often even a "no thanks." If you're going to be rude, don't be a wuss about it.

It's not autistic. People with autism don't have trouble caring about rudeness, they just have trouble reading the social map. The OP is saying clearly that he's not confused or having trouble understanding the situation, he just doesn't care.

That's not autistic, that's antisocial.

It's classic introvert behavior actually.

http://m.atchuup.com/how-to-understand-introverted-people/

I am an extreme introvert. Being in any kind of conversation just drains me extremely quickly.

I get that. What my advice would be is to talk to your friend who recognizes when you're being rude and enlist their help in figuring out an exit strategy. Even something along the lines of "i'm really sorry but i'm not feeling well" could give you an out that wouldn't come off as rude.

EDIT: If you're not from Canada you can drop the "i'm really sorry".

I live in Northern Michigan so I could be considered a cousin of Canada.

 

[Sanderpower]

To be perfectly honest, if somebody just rudely walked away from me mid conversation AND I see them on a semi-regular basis, then I would make it one of my goals in life to constantly annoy them. You're a co-worker or fellow student or whatever? Well i'm going to be chatting you up constantly. No matter how many times you tell me get lost, i'll be happily talking to you about all the most pointless things imaginable.

Sounds to me like you're a guy who is just inconsiderate of other people's feelings. In that case, that's a personal flaw that YOU have. It's not the fault of the people who you rudely walk away from. Social empathy is an important attribute to possess.

 

[Bat Vader]

Really?

Wow.

Well ... look ... I get not being interested in what some people say, but that's no reason to drop your manners and just walk off on someone. If someone is trying to engage you in a discussion or manner you don't fancy, let them know - politely. Otherwise you are - I'm afraid - just being rude. Social Interaction 101 - Would you be pissed off if someone behaved in a certain way towards you or a friend of yours? Don't behave in that way to them or a friend of theirs.

Would I be pissed off if it happened to me? Not really. It has happened to me before and the only thing I was pissed about was that the conversation didn't end sooner.

To be perfectly honest, if somebody just rudely walked away from me mid conversation AND I see them on a semi-regular basis, then I would make it one of my goals in life to constantly annoy them. You're a co-worker or fellow student or whatever? Well i'm going to be chatting you up constantly. No matter how many times you tell me get lost, i'll be happily talking to you about all the most pointless things imaginable.

Sounds to me like you're a guy who is just inconsiderate of other people's feelings. In that case, that's a personal flaw that YOU have. It's not the fault of the people who you rudely walk away from. Social empathy is an important attribute to possess.

Funny thing about that. It's happened to me before. Back in 11th grade there was a class clown in my math class that always seemed to annoy me because I either wouldn't laugh at his antics or just ignore him outright. One day he came over to annoy me and I completely lost it because a few seconds later he found himself picking his ass up off the floor. I was suspended for a few days but it was worth it. The little shit never bothered me again after that.

The second time happened just recently with a now ex-coworker of mine at work. By recently I mean last month. His name is Zach and he is one of the most annoying people I have ever had to deal with. He would talk about the stupidest and most inane crap. One day I got sick of listening to it and told him to shut up and never speak to me again. He seemed to take exception to that and instead started to do the thing that you speak of. Every time I told him to leave me alone he would ignore me and just continue to talk. After a week of this I started to write down when he did it and what he said.

After a few months of doing that I went to my boss with it and told him and showed him the journal. Zach tried denying it but my boss trusts me and Zach was fired for harassment. I have to do more work now but I consider that a good trade off.

 

[Sanderpower]

Really?

Wow.

Well ... look ... I get not being interested in what some people say, but that's no reason to drop your manners and just walk off on someone. If someone is trying to engage you in a discussion or manner you don't fancy, let them know - politely. Otherwise you are - I'm afraid - just being rude. Social Interaction 101 - Would you be pissed off if someone behaved in a certain way towards you or a friend of yours? Don't behave in that way to them or a friend of theirs.

Would I be pissed off if it happened to me? Not really. It has happened to me before and the only thing I was pissed about was that the conversation didn't end sooner.

To be perfectly honest, if somebody just rudely walked away from me mid conversation AND I see them on a semi-regular basis, then I would make it one of my goals in life to constantly annoy them. You're a co-worker or fellow student or whatever? Well i'm going to be chatting you up constantly. No matter how many times you tell me get lost, i'll be happily talking to you about all the most pointless things imaginable.

Sounds to me like you're a guy who is just inconsiderate of other people's feelings. In that case, that's a personal flaw that YOU have. It's not the fault of the people who you rudely walk away from. Social empathy is an important attribute to possess.

Funny thing about that. It's happened to me before. Back in 11th grade there was a class clown in my math class that always seemed to annoy me because I either wouldn't laugh at his antics or just ignore him outright. One day he came over to annoy me and I completely lost it because a few seconds later he found himself picking his ass up off the floor. I was suspended for a few days but it was worth it. The little shit never bothered me again after that.

The second time happened just recently with a now ex-coworker of mine at work. By recently I mean last month. His name is Zach and he is one of the most annoying people I have ever had to deal with. He would talk about the stupidest and most inane crap. One day I got sick of listening to it and told him to shut up and never speak to me again. He seemed to take exception to that and instead started to do the thing that you speak of. Every time I told him to leave me alone he would ignore me and just continue to talk. After a week of this I started to write down when he did it and what he said.

After a few months of doing that I went to my boss with it and told him and showed him the journal. Zach tried denying it but my boss trusts me and Zach was fired for harassment. I have to do more work now but I consider that a good trade off.

You could of saved yourself going through ALL that trouble if you just decided not to be rude though. Because in this day and age you're likely going to find somebody who really doesn't care about the consequences of annoying other people. You have the choice of A) Being rude and just ending up more annoyed or B) Being polite and both parties moving on with your life.

 

[Spider RedNight]

An introverted disposition is not a reason to act like a twat. Or like someone 'special'. Either would be my general impression if someone just sulked off out of a conversation. There are millions of ways to quietly end or change the direction of a conversation you don't like. It's not hard.

I second this; I'm incredibly introverted but I don't use it as an excuse to be a dick. It just makes introverts who try to be polite look bad.

 

[Bat Vader]

Really?

Wow.

Well ... look ... I get not being interested in what some people say, but that's no reason to drop your manners and just walk off on someone. If someone is trying to engage you in a discussion or manner you don't fancy, let them know - politely. Otherwise you are - I'm afraid - just being rude. Social Interaction 101 - Would you be pissed off if someone behaved in a certain way towards you or a friend of yours? Don't behave in that way to them or a friend of theirs.

Would I be pissed off if it happened to me? Not really. It has happened to me before and the only thing I was pissed about was that the conversation didn't end sooner.

To be perfectly honest, if somebody just rudely walked away from me mid conversation AND I see them on a semi-regular basis, then I would make it one of my goals in life to constantly annoy them. You're a co-worker or fellow student or whatever? Well i'm going to be chatting you up constantly. No matter how many times you tell me get lost, i'll be happily talking to you about all the most pointless things imaginable.

Sounds to me like you're a guy who is just inconsiderate of other people's feelings. In that case, that's a personal flaw that YOU have. It's not the fault of the people who you rudely walk away from. Social empathy is an important attribute to possess.

Funny thing about that. It's happened to me before. Back in 11th grade there was a class clown in my math class that always seemed to annoy me because I either wouldn't laugh at his antics or just ignore him outright. One day he came over to annoy me and I completely lost it because a few seconds later he found himself picking his ass up off the floor. I was suspended for a few days but it was worth it. The little shit never bothered me again after that.

The second time happened just recently with a now ex-coworker of mine at work. By recently I mean last month. His name is Zach and he is one of the most annoying people I have ever had to deal with. He would talk about the stupidest and most inane crap. One day I got sick of listening to it and told him to shut up and never speak to me again. He seemed to take exception to that and instead started to do the thing that you speak of. Every time I told him to leave me alone he would ignore me and just continue to talk. After a week of this I started to write down when he did it and what he said.

After a few months of doing that I went to my boss with it and told him and showed him the journal. Zach tried denying it but my boss trusts me and Zach was fired for harassment. I have to do more work now but I consider that a good trade off.

You could of saved yourself going through ALL that trouble if you just decided not to be rude though. Because in this day and age you're likely going to find somebody who really doesn't care about the consequences of annoying other people. You have the choice of A) Being rude and just ending up more annoyed or B) Being polite and both parties moving on with your life.

I was polite to Zach multiple times. When he would start talking I would tell him I wasn't interested in speaking about that stuff. Instead of him just taking the hint and going away to bother someone else or changing the subject he instead would continue to talk about the same shit. I even tried to steer the direction of what he was talking about into stuff I wanted to talk about a few times but he would either ignore it or he would make a comment and then go back to what he wanted to talk about.

That's all fine and dandy if someone wants to ignore the consequences but they have no argument when the consequences comes back and bites them in the ass.

 

[BeerTent]

Man, now I just feel like Bat's just trying to give excuses. A lot of people had already said their thoughts, and I'll answer the OP question of "Fuck no! I do not do that because I have a shred of empathy and I would not like it at all if someone did that to me."

I think that's what's missing here.

Bat Vader, let's sing the empathy song together? Alright?

Em-pa-thee~ Em-pa-thee~ Put yourself in place of mee~
Em-pa-thee~ Em-pa-thee~ Put yourself in place of mee~
Em-pa-thee~ Em-pa-thee~ Put yourself in place of mee~...

Aah, fuckit, I'll echo... It is a colossal dick move, Vader. It takes next to no energy to just say, "Sorry, hun... I'm not having a good day." and you come off way better than you would than if you just walked away. That woman could be part of HR for the next company you work for, or she could have had compatible fetishes and interests to you. You'll never know because people remember this stuff, and now she's thinking the same thing the collective forum is.

What a fucking self-absorbed prick!

I mean, you're a year older than me and you haven't figured this out yet? Jokes aside: Yikes.