sure, why not, i seem to come by this a lot looking around here... and am a female gamer...
"Specific aspects that people, women in particular, find most abrasive? Character, design, writing, marketing, etc?"
i'm one of those people that likes playing games for story, suppose one of the things i find most annoying about this whole objectification/sexualiztion thing is that its all tits and ass... most games since they started going for 'higher graphics' make shallower game/plots as a whole, so the characters suffer for it, just period, since apparently because they're 'pretty' depth doesn't matter so much. But for the O/S thing, lets see, what's mostly covered is 'T and A' and female characters are primarily there to move plot, okay everyone covers that... Personally i LIKE playing as a female character, its not fair really when i'm forced to either play some overly burly 'dude' or some skimpy she-man that honestly is just insulting my gender by existing... Marketing is all about 'Sexy woman!' on the cover if its obvious titillation, and 'dude being awesome' if its some action-thingy... like seriously, the only 'main stream' female MCs anyone can think about are Laura Croft or what... Lighting? pfft... they're not 'bad' characters i guess but *shrugs* eh... I miss Aya Brea and Rose... i just find it annoying most female leads are this cookie-cutter T&A model and about as much personality as cardboard, and usually they're the ONLY female in the entire cast... its just 'eh'... and makes me not want to bother...
"How do these elements effect engagement and involvement?"
i'm tired of playing 'dudes', i liked Mass Effect cause it gave me the option to be a full-blown woman kicking-ass and taking names, with a voice, personality and everything, and while still primarily 'appealing' wasn't bending over showing cleavage all the time... like Miranda... but for a better example of 'engagement', lets take Dragon's Dogma, where you can make you're character be whatever you want, i've played this game A LOT, and beat it several times, and i can say without a doubt there is just something that bothers me when playing as 'guy', i can't explain it, its like this annoying itch in the back of my brain and i don't have the full D&D-esque feel of 'being' my character... because i'm not a 'dude'...
"What would be some of the aspects that could empower, humanize, engagement?"
why not just make kick-ass females, not male-proxies, actual women? why is that so freakin' hard and scary? female gamers have to play 'dudes' all the time, its nice to play a game about a chick being the 'chosen one' instead of 'oh look, another guy gains super powers and saves the world... woo... oh and look, another make out scene where he's with a chick... joy -.-' Aya Brea is one of my favorite characters of all time, and it actually has very little to do with the fact she's a woman saving the world... if i wanted to go 'woman saving the world' i'd go with F!/Shepard, but what i like about Aya is she's well, NOT doing it to 'save' the world, but because she's a reluctant character that knows she's the ONLY ONE that can save the world, i personally like the 'resigned hero', it gives the character a bit more depth and humanism, and that's something that's not 'limited' to gender-roles... i'd say just make more 'real' female characters, not have them all have DC-esque figures, and more balanced 'parties' with male/female ratios and options... Persona 4 is a great example, and that's not just because of Naoto Shirogane, but they have a split party, no one's really designed purely on 'fanservice' and we have two characters that fit easily and comfortably in the 'other' gender category...
"And lastly, if you wanted some titillation, what could be added, or subtracted, to character, story, design, to add a little 'special' appeal?"
less 'dudes' who are nothing but angst-buckets that whine about 'losing their love' and then go and sleep with every woman/dude on the planet... why's it okay for male heroes to be effectively man-whores but a female hero can't get any? pfft... give me a female protagonist and let me pick all the dudes i want, how about that? also, stop making me so disturbingly ripped, i like nice shoulders sure, but seriously steroids should be illegal, or whatever video game dudes are on... my assumption why games are primarily marketed to guys and 'offensive' to girls is cause its easy to market to guys, slap boobs somewhere and it'll sell, while with women its a bit more complicated then that... some women like ripped dudes, some like wimpy fem-boys, me personally like neither, and while i'm partial to 'scruffy' not to the extents that some games think is 'cool'
;; lets see, main stream games i can think of male characters i liked... hrm... i liked Sten from Dragon Age: Origins, and Wrex from Mass Effect, neither were date-able, i was disappointed... suppose for a 'normal human' example would be... hmm... ugh... yea i can't really think of any main stream game 'dudes', protagonists or otherwise i really like-liked... *shrugs* i'm not playing games for titillation honestly, i'm playing them to blow stuff up and laugh about it or a really kick-ass plot/story...
here's a question of my own, anyone think that these male-oriented mentalities put into games may be effecting female-gamers perspectives on what's 'hot' and what's 'not'? since we have to play in the mindset of 'dudes' all the time, i'm honestly starting to think this is effecting my normal capacity to even be 'attracted' to men, quite honestly i recognize 'tits' more then i do 'pecks' as something that should be 'hot' because of the subliminal everything that's geared towards 'men', but me as a woman just has to 'deal with it'? lame... i hope they start making more female oriented games, then you dudes can feel all weird about being 'gay' and i can tell you to 'get over it' honestly...