Open letter to women about phone numbers

[JRCB]

Not only for women. Dudes do this as well. Last summer, I had some chick call me, and had to tell her that she had been rejected.

I should say that everyone should just blunt, but maybe that isn't the best idea. Maybe a polite "sorry, I'm not interested" is a better idea.

 

[rainman2203]

No offense dude, but there might be a reason they are bailing after giving you their numbers. Most girls are too nice to say no if you are persistent enough, which sounds like what your plan of attack revolves around. Calling them out by checking their numbers is pretty off-putting too- it makes it appear that you have trust/control issues.

My advice, chill out some and quit playing the game so hard. Some women like confidence while others get creeped out by really forward men.

 

[HappyNoodleBot]

I don't mind so much girls giving out fake numbers though, I've seen how damn pushy men can be.

Think you might have hit the nail on the head there Panto. I suspect (or at least hope) it's a very small percentage of men that won't take no for an answer but it may well be enough to make women want to dispense with unwanted attention in the least confrontational way possible.

And having said that I don't want to cause offence to the OP and maybe it's a different culture in the UK but really if you get a wrong number that often you might want to consider whether or not there's something in the way you act that's holding you back.

You clearly wrote the above in a frustrated state but accusing women of not having balls enough to confront you given your own ballsy display of going over and talking to them is a fairly confrontational way of describing the wooing a lady.

It's not about playing daft games with people and their emotions or some battle of the sexes when you enter a bar. It's certainly not what television depicts it to be but it seems everyone is beginning to believe it anyway. Unfortunately human emotion is one of those things you can't force and there's no trick to finding it. It really has to happen in it's own time.

I'm sure you'll get there. Stay strong, stay calm, stay happy. Don't focus on the negative and let things happen at their on pace.

 

[AlmostLikeLife]

You're acting as if all of these women have some sort of personal vendetta against you. So what, they don't return your calls or texts, who cares? It's not like they're doing it on purpose just to spite you. Plus, you say 80-90% percent flake on you. Well then, how is it going with the other 10-20% that don't, hmm?

Count yourself lucky that you're one of those guys that can openly ask a girl for their number, because there are a lot of guys that can't.

The way you post makes it seem like you would be a perfect fit on that show Jersey Shore... bro.

 

[Brawndo]

Can you really blame somebody for wanting to deflect awkward social tension on a fun night out? I mean, yes, you're being led on, but simply put, most guys don't handle rejections well. Would YOU rather spend the next forty-five minutes trying to avoid some guy (or girl) because they didn't take the hint? I know a lot of people who won't even take a flat-out no for an answer. Maybe you need to alter your get-to-first-date strategy....

Despite what you may think from my post, I know how to handle rejection to my face. I would not follow the girl around afterward.

This sort of behaviour really pisses me off because it's really just basic manners to be honest with someone in a situation like this.

My point exactly.

The way you post makes it seem like you would be a perfect fit on that show Jersey Shore... bro.

I can't imagine why... because I have the confidence to approach girls I don't know? The closest I could identify with is Vinny (who is the least retarded of the guys), and even that's a serious stretch

 

[Olrod]

A woman's taste in men changes every two weeks. Or if they're on the pill and then they're not.

Scientific fact. Cracked.com told me so.

 

[James_K]

There's no need to take it personally, it's more of a self-defense against the stereotypical "hitting-on-you" male. Stereotypically, men DON'T handle rejection well for someone they are pining/lusting after. You might very well be the exception to the rule (or stereotype), but the girls specifically DIDN'T take the time to get to know you. They're going to treat you like the stereotypical aggressive male because they don't WANT to know you.

 

[TwistedEllipses]

It's a gentle way to give you the brush-off and not have you harassing them all night. This isn't a reflection of your character, just on some guys who are overly-persistent...

 

[latenightapplepie]

Dear OP,

Men do it too.

Sincerely,

AT

People get to change their minds whenever they like in this regard. Men or women. You just have to deal with it.

 

[Devil's Due]

A large amount of women do this too often because of some occasional idiot that ruins it for the rest of the male population. I'm fairly big flirt with girls, but I never ask for their number. I always give them mine, so that they may feel comfortable contacting me or not. If they don't, not my problem. Besides, showing that you're offering your number instead of theirs it shows that you don't want a right-then-and-there kind of commitment of their personal phone number or contact information. This way, they can see that I'll just lay back and let them decide to make the next move if they feel inclined to do so.

 

[major28]

My open letter to women about phone numbers. If you have a number and live in New York I will call you.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Can you really blame somebody for wanting to deflect awkward social tension on a fun night out? I mean, yes, you're being led on, but simply put, most guys don't handle rejections well. Would YOU rather spend the next forty-five minutes trying to avoid some guy (or girl) because they didn't take the hint? I know a lot of people who won't even take a flat-out no for an answer. Maybe you need to alter your get-to-first-date strategy....

Despite what you may think from my post, I know how to handle rejection to my face. I would not follow the girl around afterward.

I don't think Kruk was directing that at you, man. You seem to be a blunt man, and you believe in up front honesty. I'm the same way, trust me- if a girl isn't interested, I tell them "it's ok, I'll totally get it".

But a lot of other guys aren't that... accepting. They go out and they persist and potentially ruin a girl's night. And a girl you flirt with isn't going to know if you're the type to accept a no or if you're the guy that'll basically stalk them for the night. So, they go with the easy way out... fake kindness, and false hope. Or, at least, easiest for them.

Can you really blame them when there really ARE creeps out there?

 

[Gxas]

Believe it or not, women are human.

Wait... Really!? Fuck... I've been going about everything all wrong then...

 

[Paksenarrion]

My open letter to women about phone numbers.

Someone please buy my niece's girl scout cookies. They are delicious.

 

[Astoria]

I haven't been out to a club or bar or anything like that yet but many of my friends have and from what I can gather the general belief is that anything that happens is just for that night. These girls might hounestly not expect you to call them because I wouldn't if someone asked for my number. They could also be making a simple mistake of putting down one wrong number or their old number or something (I do it constantly). Don't take it personally, there are many reasons why it might be happening.

 

[herpaderphurr]

Okay, so men do the same thing.

Then, why do people do it?

Because they're too spineless to, er, "man up"? What I mean goes for females too even though the expression doesn't quite fit.

Or because some people are really dumb and honestly believe that they're doing you a service by giving you false hope, then saving the rejection for later?

I don't know, honestly.

 

[nohorsetown]

I never was the type to go out specifically hunting for female attention, but I know a lot of guys are like that. My wife, and every other cool girl I know, can't stand that kind of thing.. but then again, many girls like aggressive / "confident" guys, from what I've heard. I don't get it, but hey, different strokes or whatever. As long as you don't harass them, everything should be fine.. but as others have mentioned, a lot of guys do keep pestering their "prey" and won't take no for an answer, so it could just be easier to give you the number and blow you off later.

All that aside, calling them up immediately after you get their number comes off as really rude. In a purely logical world, it wouldn't be.. after all, why should you have to trust someone you just met? Unfortunately, people have feelings, and want to believe that you're attracted to some kind of "goodness" that you sense in them, and not just their physical assets. Or something. I really shouldn't even have to explain it.. you know what I mean, I'm sure.

Whoa. Every sentence in my first paragraph follows the formula of "X.. but Y". I am seriously slippin' in quality control. Also note: "excessive" use.. of ellipses and quotation marks.

 

[diadia]

Eh as a gal I agree with the OP but I've been in many situations where I had a guy ask for my number, I told him no, he kept asking, I kept saying no, and then he started insulting/belittiling me "well you must be a lesbo" or "what you think your too good" or "I'm doing you a favor by asking you." So I can see the appeal of just giving a guy a fake number or giving out your number and then ignoring the guy - in the end your just trying to prevent this kind of thing. Kind of a long sentence, but you know what I mean, not justifying, just saying that happens a lot and may be the reason for the fake number/flaking out situation.