Opinion on PDA?

[Relish in Chaos]

Perhaps I'm insecure/jealous/frigid, but I've never been a fan of PDA (public displays of affection). Sometimes, it makes me feel as if some couples aren't conscious enough of what they're doing in public, and it can almost come off like they're boasting about their relationship to those that aren't in relationships.

But what do I know, maybe I'm just being immature. I've never had a proper girlfriend, which is supposedly understandable considering that I'm 16 (yeah, there are some teenagers that are socially awkward and don't get invited to parties), and my last "girlfriend" was in Year 7. We were both 11/12, barely talked to each other and kissed once or twice, so when she actually dumped me after, like, a month or two, I'd honestly say it was something of a relief. I wasn't ready back then and I'm not sure if I'm ready now (I've got a lot of emotional baggage I need to unload).

So I'm guessing I'm asking for perspectives from people that aren't jealous of couples/have had relationships/have had experience with PDA or not with their partner.

 

[Dante DiVongola]

It just depends on how you are as a person. If you're more of the open and outgoing type, then PDA isn't really much of an issue. If you tend to keep things a bit more private, then chances are, you won't really have much PDA. Personally, I'm fine with kissing in public, holding hands, biting, cuddling and petting. It's just when things get sexual when I draw the line and say to whoever to hold it off a bit 'till we can be out of the public eye.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

*shrugs* I don't think anyone has a right to complain. It's no different to say someone wearing a "Cake is a Lie" shirt to showcase their love of Portal. Sorry, but it sounds like you're overreacting a bit.

 

[eyesonflux]

I thought that we were going to talk about these:


I guess i will be going then..

 

[Nouw]

It depends on how you see it. If you see them as gloating their relationship then that is how you will feel. You'll probably feel pity for yourself and go into a mental-snowball. Which isn't how you should feel . Try feeling happy for them. Genuine compassion for their love ^^. You'll be surprised that it also makes you feel better.

 

[viranimus]

Honestly? I think its age centric inversely related to the severity of the PDA. If you see a couple of kids (IE 15-20) holding hands and hanging off of each other its fairly understandable. annoying, but understandable. However seeing a pair of 40 somethings go grabasstic as they push around each others play dough like skin and try to figure out what part used to go where in the checkout line, yeah no thanks and please point me in the direction of the eye bleach.

 

[lacktheknack]

GET A ROOM.

I think this mostly because the most common PDA around here - making out - is something I find really quite gross and icky. Jealousy doesn't really factor in when BLAAAAAAH SHE'S DROOLING INTO HIS MOUTH

 

[Rednog]

There is a big difference between oh look they're holding hands, or shes laying her head on his shoulder and they sneak an occasional quick peck versus oh look they're sucking each others face and dry humping each other...and this have gone on for like 5 minutes and there is no sign of stopping.

 

[Malkavian]

It depends entirely on how much PDA we are talking. Holding hands? Fine. Sharing a kiss? Fine. Orally assault each other while the hands dance a mad waltz in an effort to cover as much ground as possible? Maybe a bit too much...

It's always going to annoy you more when you are lonely, and I'm sorry, but you'll just have to suck it up. Or, do as someone above suggested, try really hard to feel happy for them.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm in a relationship and I'm not a huge fan of it. Holding hands or a peck on the lips if you're going your separate ways, sure, but I don't go for kissing and grabbing each other's arses in public. I love my boyfriend and we're a very intimate couple but I don't feel the need to prove that to anyone else. Besides, it makes people feel uncomfortable when there is really no need for it.

I tend to associate serious PDA with teenage, immature relationships or else really, really new ones.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Yeah, I don't necessarily mind couples holding hands or the odd peck on the cheek, even if it makes me a tad bit jealous (because that's the sort of person I am, and don't worry, I'm getting it fixed). But when I'm in a group of people and we're all just talking, and then a couple in front of you decides to start eating each other's faces off...yeahhhhh, I think I'm going to move away.

Of course, again, it could just be me that I personally am not a very intimate person inexperienced with relationships in general. Ensue depressive teenage whining: it seems like everyone's always hugging every five minutes and I'm the only one who isn't.

 

[The Gnome King]

Perhaps I'm insecure/jealous/frigid, but I've never been a fan of PDA (public displays of affection). Sometimes, it makes me feel as if some couples aren't conscious enough of what they're doing in public, and it can almost come off like they're boasting about their relationship to those that aren't in relationships.

That's like saying people who drive nice cars are boasting about their wealth. Chances are, the people enjoying a PDA are just enjoying each other and totally ignoring you.

I don't mind PDAs at all. At 33 years old and having been married for the past 12 years I can say that my wife and I are at the stage of our relationship where we don't do much beyond hold hands or discreetly kiss when we're out in public; but seeing it doesn't bother me. When I see people making out I just get a warm feeling for them and am happy to see some love in the world instead of hate.

 

[Aris Khandr]

As long as it isn't overdone, I quite like PDAs. It's one thing for your SO to say she loves you in private. But it's quite another for her to publicly proclaim "this is my girlfriend". It doesn't have to be overdone, but holding hands, some cuddling, and the occasional kiss can do a lot for reassurances, especially if your SO is one of those who tend to be flirty with everyone.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Not to be too crude, but if it really bugs you, maybe the problem is with you? I'm seeing a lot of bitter forever alone syndrome in this thread. You'll notice the guy who was the most cool with it has been married for 12 years. Just let couples have their fun, it's not like they're doing it for your benefit.

I thought that we were going to talk about these:


I guess i will be going then..

We think alike. I knew what the thread was about, but I was considering a "well, ever since the iPhone they've been obsolete -- oh, you mean public displays of affection" joke until I saw your post.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I have no problems with PDA. ^^ I always enjoy a free show.

As for me personally, it usually depends on whom I'm with. I don't typically initiate more than a kiss, but I'm usually willing to receive whatever "affection" I am provided.

Case in point, my spouse isn't much in to PDA, so we tend to be fairly circumspect.

On the other hand, one of my ex-boyfriends was all about groping me in public or having me sit on his lap and stuff like that. And that was in well-lit rooms. In dimly lit locations, like, say, movie theaters, he was much more forward. That was the boyfriend who got to third base with me in a movie theater (and we weren't the only people watching that movie).

 

[Nimcha]

I'm all for it. As long as people don't get naked or anything, that's probably a step too far. But if two people feel like making out heavily in public, I say let them. Not doing any harm whatsoever!

Besides I like to poke fun a bit at the double standard, I can't give my girlfriend so much as a peck on the lips without anyone giving some kind of judgmental look. When that happens I usually go a little further just to annoy them.

 

[requisitename]

I'm cool with hand-holding, cheek kissing, pecks, arms over shoulders, even a bit of cuddling if the environment's right (such as everyone's hanging out at someone's house.. I'm fine with cuddling up together on the couch). I don't want to see hands down pants or tongues down throats, though. It makes me uncomfortable because a) I feel like a voyeur (protip: I'm not) and b) some couples make it so that you pretty much CAN'T ignore them. I'm a big fan of discretion.

What I find extremely annoying is when one person is trying to interact with the group and the other is feeling them up constantly or otherwise trying to distract them from the conversation every two seconds. It's disrespectful to both your partner and everyone trying to interact with them.

 

[Zen Toombs]

It depends. Are you talking about sex/relatedness?
Then that's a problem....if you actually get caught. /blush
Are you talking about kissing/hand holding?
Then it usually isn't a problem.