Parent's reaction to video games

[Kanlic]

Oddly enough, it makes a lot of sense (in their minds). The smarter, more educated, and more independent a person is (or believes themselves to be), the more inclined they are to believe there is a clear reason for everything.

When there is something as unfathomable as a school shooting, the reason isn't as clear. And we often don't want to hear about "reasons," because we think that means we're letting them excuse the shooting. So, the educated, rational person who believes they are nigh-impossible to fool or surprise? He decides that the nearest potential factor that he's not intimately familiar with is the cause.

Yep. Smarter and more educated people are very often more likely to react that way, and to do so more strongly.

I wouldn't go that far. I know a lot more stupid people who are ready to jump to conclusions than intelligent people, because stupid people don't tend to think about what they are about to say. In the defense of my pops, he saw me melting my enemies into puddles of goo right after he saw a news report saying the Columbine kids made a shooter mod of Doom that mirrored the layout of their school.

When I try to explain video games and their benefits to dumb people, I either get a blank stare or they tell me they like FIFA. When I do so with a college professor, their response is more nuanced. Hell, the professors who still don't like games after I make my points leave me satisfied because they are able to respond in a way that makes me think they aren't making a judgement out of ignorance.

My parents are both okay with them though my mom didn't want me seeing violence till I was older. She even played computer games when i was really little.

Facts are with the media it's really hard to prove the argument. Every psycho with a gun is of course going to cause problems.

It's kind of like how no matter how you try to prove that if people and kids just learned proper gun safety and how to handle one properly there would be less accidences. Because if you try they just point at the statistics of those that have been hurt.

It also doesn't help that in my General Psychology class we heard a video about how kids with suggestiable and certain mental conditions will become more violent from games...

All the parents in the class were like "because of this we should remove all violent videogames from any child just in case."

My response was: A game doesn't make you violent, just because you are shooting up fictional people doesn't mean you learn instantly how to shoot a gun."

Personally it is a parent's right what their kids see and play, so banning all games is rreally just a stupid idea... convincing your parents though is hard.

From what I gather, adults tend to have preconceived notions about games and they are just waiting for some piece of info that confirms their beliefs to move on with their lives. This can be said about many other groups, but that's another discussion.

What I am starting to learn from this violent video game debate is something that the gun lobby has been screaming for years. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Just switch out guns with games and you get the idea.

It's not that I wasn't aware of this notion, it just didn't cross my mind to actually think that a person who becomes deranged enough to commit an Oslo massacre or a Virginia Tech shooting is already a sick minded individual, and their life leading up to their killings is just an amalgamation of all the things they do in a day. In this case games could be considered a trigger, but in reality a person with that kind of mental fragility could be spurned by a long left turn on an intersection.

When they say this you should point out that the same thing happens when they watch TV, and at least you're interacting with your entertainment and engaging your brain a bit more. They'll either see your point or get really pissed off (which might mean they saw your point and didn't want to admit it).

As for me, when I was younger my mom would sometimes wish I didn't play so much, and she tended to enforce ratings, but other than that she's let me do my own thing.

Believe you me, I have brought this up before. The response is almost always "Yea, but movies are different." WHY? "They just are." Little to no thought ever goes into this exchange. What I usually gather is the person has made up their mind, and doesn't feel like talking about it. It's probably the least confrontational approach, but I hate it. It's really just wasted brainpower by that point and nothing is gained from talking with them, either from seeing their point or articulating mine.

Though once my aunt saw me playing Assassin's Creed and she went all horrified going "Oh my. You're KILLING people in that game?". Even if I go saying that the world is immersive and the history (even if it's hit and miss) was interesting and the people I was killing were bad people and Templars out to conquer the world. She basically said "uh huh, but you're killing people". It never got much more serious than that, but I'm rather irked by how hardly anyone under the age of 35 in my family sees video games on a level above "noise machines"...

It tends to bother me too. I don't understand grown people who aren't able to separated simulated violence with actual harm. It screams of insecurity to me. I have an aunt like that as well, but she can't deal with violence on any level, so at least her consistency doesn't bother me.

Just curious - does your dad watch movies? 'Cos that must be even more stupid: for the whole of Schindler's List or Shawshank Redemption, you just sit there and stare at the screen.

Books are stupid, too: you just sit there and stare at the pages.

To get to the heart of your question, it's hard to communicate the interactive nature of games to someone who hasn't played them, or at least watched someone else play them. It's like trying to describe the immersive potential of literature to someone who can't read.

My parents don't really understand games, but they have come to terms with my gaming. Of course, it helps that I'm in my 30s and have been buying my own hardware and software for 15 years now...

Yea, my dad loves the Bravehearts of the world. He doesn't care about violence this way or that in movies because he sees it as a passive experience. Video games force you to kill, all while doing nothing at all (a paradox I am smart enough never to point out.)

 

[Vhite]

Toys

 

[Cain_Zeros]

When they say this you should point out that the same thing happens when they watch TV, and at least you're interacting with your entertainment and engaging your brain a bit more. They'll either see your point or get really pissed off (which might mean they saw your point and didn't want to admit it).

As for me, when I was younger my mom would sometimes wish I didn't play so much, and she tended to enforce ratings, but other than that she's let me do my own thing.

Believe you me, I have brought this up before. The response is almost always "Yea, but movies are different." WHY? "They just are." Little to no thought ever goes into this exchange. What I usually gather is the person has made up their mind, and doesn't feel like talking about it. It's probably the least confrontational approach, but I hate it. It's really just wasted brainpower by that point and nothing is gained from talking with them, either from seeing their point or articulating mine.

Ah. Yeah, in that case it might be easier to just save your breath and, in the case of your parents, put up with it until you can move out.

 

[Genixma]

your dad's reaction brings me to think of:

 

[Moromillas]

My family see it as nothing different than movies.

his only response was, "Get this poison out of my house." Just to clarify, this is a family of atheists.

well, it was my understanding that Athists based their belief in logic and science... Looking at facts and making decisions based on those facts.

Incorrect. It is merely the lack of any belief in an invisible floating old guy in the sky, especially when there's zero proof.

 

[Mr Pantomime]

My parents are cool with it, but dont play games themselves. My dad did try get into them when I played Rainbow Six: Rouge Spear, but he wasnt very good and gave up.
My sister doesnt play games except on her iPhone. Used to play games when we were younger, but doesnt anymore. She started talking about the Portal 2 ad, I said I had it, and she could play it if she wanted. She said no because it "seemed dumb".

My brother likes his video games, but doesnt have a lot of crossover with me. He likes 1/4 to 1/3 of my game collection. I know that its just his opinion, but its heartbreaking when im showing him Valkyria Chronicles and Persona 4, and he asks to play Black Ops.

My friends like their video games, which is great if you can handle anti-Xbox fanboys. My best friend is quite into WoW, and does like his other games. However, hes a numbers guy, so he plays his games quite differently to me. Makes co-oping a bit awkward.

-snip-

Cant really see the logic of buying your kid a console if you think theyre evil. Im interested to know though, have you brought the breaking games situation up at any point? and does he still stand by his actions?

 

[Aetera]

My parents both play video games. My dad is a (formerly Diablo 2)total WoW addict. He has several (all horde, of course)85s, raids, has loads of titles, and has almost 100 mounts and 75 mini-pets. He's about 5 or 6 away from both. My mom is a huge Animal Crossing addict. She plays every day without fail, and spends hours planting flowers and gathering more and more hybrids. She's donated around a million bells to the town fund.

So... yeah. My parents quite support my gaming habit. I inherited my nerdiness from them. For my birthday yesterday, for example, they got me a new video game, a Doctor Who magazine, a box of the first, original 60s Doctor Who episodes, and a Deadpool comic. Without me asking about or mentioning anything. They then added that they will be borrowing all of the above at some time or another.

They fully and unequivocally support all things geeky. Video games the least amongst them. Hell, I have to fight them to use the giant family tv when I want to play something. My dad regularly bellows out "LOK'TAR OGAR" and my mom talks about her animal "friends" and the recent events in her town(named Narnia) at the dinner table.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Age 15, playing GTA3, no trouble what so ever. And I've never had the urge to kill and eviscerate innocent people.

That's exactly what I told my dad when I bought Fallout 3, and he was totally okay with it. My parents don't generally interfere too much with my gaming, so I don't need to go anvilicious on them about how gaming does not cause mass murders and refer them to Cho Seung-Hui, who wasn't a gamer but still killed a lot of people.

The only games my mum plays are for a DOSBOX emulator from 30 years ago. My sister only ever plays the TT Lego games and The Sims, and maybe Civilisation V sometimes - on the lowest setting. None of the rest of my family is as interested in gaming news as I am, and I'm fine with that. They don't try to restrict my access and I don't bash them over the head with how games are a legitimate art form.

As for myself? I've never killed anyone based on something I saw Mario do. Not that I'm completely clean - there are a few games I can name that I simply will not play. Metroid: Other M is the only one of those in my library, but it's because of a boss fight instead of the plot.

 

[Double A]

Most, if not all, the people I know either play games or think they're on an equal level with film (as in "It's a form of entertainment. So what?") This might just be sleepyness talking, but I can't recall a single person who was declared video games evil. A waste of time, maybe, but never on the level of the OP's parents.

My dad actually used to play James Bond games (not Goldeneye - I never had an N64) and possibly Battlefront 2, but as of the last 7-9 years, he hasn't played a single one. Probably has something to do with him being 51...

My mom, on the other hand, hasn't played a video game that hasn't been on an arcade box. She likes Star Wars, though, so I could probably get her in to one if she had the time.

News is much more destructive and a bigger time waster than video games.

Fixed that for ya.

 

[Moromillas]

Well, let me tell you a true story.

It was a very looong time ago, but I still remember it. Grade 2 I think it was, in primary school, I was really tiny lol. I would have been... 6 years old I think? Anyway, we had some test on, you know, one of those test sheets that they hand out to each child. One of the problems were clock faces, I had never actually seen any of this before and never really paid any attention to it, so I pretty much shrugged my shoulders, left it blank and went onto the other problems in there. Maybe I wasn't there for the lesson or sick or something, who the cock knows. For some reason it was made into a pretty big deal, both my parents were called in and the teacher and principal talked to them and them alone, so I didn't know what was going on until I got home.

When we got home, Dad got the coffee table and put it next to the clock we had. I was ordered to stand on it, and stare at the clock until I "got it." It was one of those really old grandfather clocks, with roman numerals too. I would tell him I don't know what time it is, but he would just yell back at me that it wasn't good enough. I stood there until my muscles were cramped, and was only allowed to look at the clock. If I looked down or over at something he would start barking orders "look at the fucking clock!" followed by "tell me what time is it!" Each time a couple of minutes went by and the hands changed he would be PISSED, and would yell things like "Oh, you didn't get it again, guess we got all the fuckin time in the world" and would started rambling on about the importance of knowing this for later on when I had a job, and how I wouldn't get anywhere without it, that I should already know it.

Anyway, the thing is, they don't do it because they're complete assholes. There's no guidelines for what to do in certain situations, they just try and do what they think is the right thing to do. Yeah they might be complete morons sometimes, and screw up, but that's not the intention. They just try and do the best they can with what they got. I wouldn't let it get to you so much, sure it's pretty ignorant with lots of fear mongering garbage, but your parents aren't exactly gonna be around forever, so it's probably in the best interest to overlook the bad or try to get around it.

 

[Drudgelmir]

Both my parents are pretty cool when it comes to video games, though my mother once had a boyfriend who watched me play saints row2 and got irate when I shot random people in the face. I don't think he could seperate fantasy from reality.

He was soon dumped, mum said it was because he was a git, I reckon it's because of the games thing haha.

 

[Cyrax987]

My parents don't mind them at all, my mom use to love playing Ghosts and Goblins on the NES but finds the new games to be too complicated to learn and get the hang of. My dad loved video games for a long time and still does to this day actually. We use to play Mortal Kombat with him all the time and even played newer games with him like Timesplitters 2.

I got him addicted to Call of Duty 2 when I first got that for Christmas on my computer and now he has his own copy that he plays and actually out did me on the game and beat the game on every difficulty.

 

[Vykrel]

ive been living with my dad since i was around 10 or so years old, and hes allowed me to get all the violent video games ive ever wanted. luckily, my dad is not a moron. he realizes they are not real, just the same as movies.

my mom also had the same attitude. i was living with her when i was younger, and all we had was SNES and Playstation games. the most violent game we owned was probably Twisted Metal 2. but a few years ago my dad was telling her how i curse when im playing video games (cant help it sometimes ) and she basically said that i do it because im into the game, and its just a part of it. she even joked about it.

so glad my parents arent stupid and/or crazy

Edit: i should probably have mentioned the rest of my family and my friends.

my brother is a hardcore gamer, although not nearly as hardcore as me. i play a huge spectrum of games, but he plays the most popular shooters and a select few RPG's that he loves. he was a huge fan of Oblivion and Dragon Age, and i convinced him to play Mass Effect 2 which he really liked. hes looking forward to Skyrim, naturally. also, if it werent for my brother, i probably wouldnt be the gamer i am today. he introduced me to Halo, shortly after it was released. we went to our cousins house and my brother really wanted to show me the game. i loved it, and less than a month later i convinced my dad to buy me an Xbox and Halo. because of this, i also ended up getting Xbox Live also every single Halo game to date. and i bought tons of other games for my Xbox, then the 360, etc.

my sister plays the most popular shooters, thats about it. but she is a gamer. she mainly plays Call of Duty and Halo.

and all of my friends are gamers in one way or another. my best friend whom ive known since i was like 5 years old introduced me to Tibia, which ive played on and off for the past 6 and a half years. its the only MMO ive thoroughly enjoyed. and he also comes to my house most weekends and we play shooters. my other friend is the one i play with on XBL all the time. and i also have a couple of other friends that have XBL as well

 

[saucecode]

Interesting subject.
My parents don't mind me playing genrally any video game, regardless of its restriction, and it hasn't had any effect on me. Why? Well it's not like im going to play something like GTA where you can shoot innocent civillians, then run outside looking for prostitutes and heroine, getting into gangs and all that rubbish. If i think a game is extremely obscene, wrong, or inappropriate, in my OWN opinion, then i'll stop playing for those reasons. I guess some parents dont see that gamers, such as myself, are choosing to play these games, and not forced into it. And I guess some parents think that children buy games solely to mass-murder everything. Don't get me wrong, mass-mudering can be great fun, but thats not why you buy the game, is it?!

Parents, even adults in particular have a very off view of video games, and their influence on the youth.

 

[Soxafloppin]

My dad sort of got me into gaming back in the day, We had a Sega: Saturn, Then a PS1.

He still talks about how he used to love playing Exummed, Road Rash, Mortal Kombat etc, but doesnt really bother buying games anymore.

My will ocasionaly walk into the room and casually ask what im playing, but doesnt really seem to listen when i explain!

 

[Astoria]

My dad isn't really fussed on whether I do or don't play them and my mum just rolls her eyes and smiles when I bring them up. A lot of my friends play games so they think it's great that I play them too

 

[ruben6f]

My parents every time I am mad they attack video games (when video games are the only thing that help me relax), and they think that anyone that plays games is stupid and they don't allow me to play any violent games while they are in the room with them.

They also think it's stupid to be scared by games, it's not my fault X18 is filled with snorks, zombies and a pseudo giant those guys are creepy!

 

[Da Orky Man]

My mom doesn't really understand games, but she doesn't have a problem with me playing them. Not much to say about her

My dad...well it's hard to explain. His opinion seems to change from game to game. He works with computers a lot (though more hardware than software) and is generally involved with a lot of tech stuff, so he gets pretty impressed with some of the games I play (mostly Rockstar games). He also plays a lot of fighting games with me, specifically Soul Calibur. I can actually remember most of the things he's said about the games I've played while he's around:

Red Dead Redemption: "Wow, the visuals actually really do look nice. Though steering on the horses looks kinda fake" (During the scene where John shoots the Mexicans when he first goes to Mexico) "Yeah, that guy reminds me a lot of Clint Eastwood"

LA Noire: "The facial animation is really impressive. It still looks like animation, but wow"
"Hey, you gonna play that detective game again? It's actually kind of fun to watch"

Grand Theft Auto 4: "Yeah right, that's not how it would happen. If you just walked into a hospital and started shooting it up, there'd be police blocking all the exits!"

Modern Warfare 2: "There's missiles being fired from a plane that you control with a laptop? That...doesn't exist"

Fallout New Vegas (opening cinematic): "Kinda funny, the Stratosphere's actually gonna be taken down soon, so it wouldn't exist in the future like that" (I then told him it took place in an alternate timeline)

I do intelligence in the Air Force and your dad is wrong about that Modern Warfare thing, plus that game is in the future. You can somewhat control rockets you fire out of a rocket launcher with a little keypad on the launcher now too actually.

Since I'm not an expert with military weaponry, I wasn't really sure if I wanted to argue with him. Though I did tell him it took place 6 years in the future, and so he replied "Oh, nevermind"

Also, I forgot a game:

Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter 2: "Man they go really in depth with this. It's like they're secretly training people for war" (which is interesting, because there is a game that openly admits that it's meant for recruitment or something)

That would be America's Army. It was commisioned by the US Armed Forces, and you actully use realistic everything.
It's free, and it's not too bad. An they csn't recruit me because I live in the UK

 

[unicron44]

They don't care one way or the other. They know I'm not an idiot and I can tell what's real and what's not. Plus I mostly play sports sims, so they don't have to worry about a lot of violent games.

 

[Zyntoxic]

My mom had one of these "Game and Watch" hand held donkey kong games that she loved and barely let us touch and later she was the one who bought our sega megadrive, that and considering that my dad put me infront of a computer-game before I could even speak I'd say my parents are pretty big on games.
my dad even tried to teach me and mold me into a "pro-gamer"; other kids played soccer after school, I played Unreal Tournament, my dad being my coach.

my friends are mainly the usual "gamer bunch", so yeah, they kind of like games.

my collegues are.. splitted... well some of the old ladies* here consideres my gaming habits as somthing of a more childish behaviour and thinks I should probably grow up, on the other hand other collegues of all ages enjoy games and share my interest for gaming, for example my boss and I during what was supposed to be an evaluation of my work ended up in discussing red dead redemption and the history of rockstar games =P

actually, those that I've found to be the least supportive about games are my sisters supposedly hip and cool friends, they claim they don't like any games upon which I laugh and try to accept the challange and say I bet I could find a game for each and every one of them.
that's the funny thing about games, as it is growing there really is somthing for every one, but the common belief all of these people I have met share is that they think games are silly toys for children or big man/woman-children who refuses to grow up.

*I don't say old ladies out of disrespect for either the elderly or women, I just happen to work at the swedish tax agency, and in sweden that kind of job is dominated by middle aged women.