Paying parents rent.

[Ham_authority95]

To start, I'm gonna give you some background about me. I live in Scotland and that I am 18. 10 people live in my house, my Mum, Step-dad, sister, 3 Step-Sisters, 1 Step-Brother, my Cousin and my Cousin's 3 year old son. And of course me. I finished school in June and my Sister nad Step-Sister finished school June 2010.

I start University on Monday and I get money from SAAS/SLC for doing so. I get ~£550 a month from them combined, and just over £1000 in September combined (I don't know why more in September, i guess for books and stuff.)

To keep costs down going ot Uni (by the time I finish my course I'll be ~£16000 in debt, possibly more, since the Government pay for 4 years of University) I decided to stay at home, thinking my Mum was reasonable since my Sister has been at Uni for a year and didn't have to give my Mum anything.

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

I sense a change in address in your future. Move out, move in with a friend or get a dirt-cheap apartment somewhere. Get a crappy job to help pay the bills, when you've established a base for yourself, find a slightly better job. If this means putting off your studies for a bit, don't hesitate because having a bit of money to yourself is better than having your money taken away by a leech.

Owing money to your parents is just a fucking stupid situation that you need to fix ASAP.

 

[archabaddon]

First off, that's my line. And you can only use it where it fits. My opinion is actually informed.

And where in the hell did you get chav from my words? How is it chavish to expect a mother to take care of her child?

Nowhere did I say all mothers care for their children. I said a mother that does isn't to be repayed. If she's going to take on the responsibility of a child you don't throw her a party because she fed and clothed them. That is what is expected of a parent.

The parent can't then ask for repayment for that. They chose to have a child and have the shoulder the responsibility that comes with it.

I don't think I ever insinuated that taking care of a child was easy. So again. Your logic and your argument are both flawed.

And now for a more fitting turn of the line.

Don't have an opinion on my opinion unless you understood it.

"Your line"? That's awesome. And tropish. It's like you're from a sitcom or something, how cute

So I suppose that a child should show no appreciation towards a parent for what a parent's done for them over the years. Yes, I think I understand your position - ungrateful

I can also see it's pretty useless arguing with an egotist on the Internet.

Don't have an opinion on my opinion unless you can actually relate to how actual human beings should relate to each other

 

[archabaddon]

It's for people like you that I wish this site would allow me verbally berate smarmy...

Let's get one thing straight. You don't know me, you don't know anything about me. And yet you judge me for saying that it is not a childs job to help support a family when the parent refuses to get work.

So yea, keep on willfully misunderstanding what people say so you can take some vague moral high-ground. Whatever, I'm done.

I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you.

Don't worry. I was done with this argument hours ago.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

It's true, these people did raise you. Suck it up sunshine and pay your parents. 'OH BUT SHE OWES ME 700 DOLLARS!' If you were born and then your Mum and Dad didn't do anything to look after you, chances are you wouldn't have been alive to go to uni, let alone jump online and have a bit of a cry.

This kind of thing doesn't fly with me.

No-one asks to be born. No-one asks to be a financial burden on their parents. Adults know what they're getting into when they decide to have a child, and to say that a child owes them for all the money spent on them, which is the parents responsibility, is just stupid.

Your parents took care of you because it was their moral and legal responsibility to do so, not because you asked them to.

And now it is no longer their moral or legal responsibility, hence the 100. Frankly grown (well is 18 truly grown?) up people should stop being burdens to their parents and start to live their own life. I can't imagine finding a place that would let me live there for just 100 a month.

So your parents bum off welfare and had too many children. At least they had the decency to give you an option (to move out or to pay 1/5th of what your rent would probably actually be).

PS: Your existence has cost them far more than 100 a month so maybe cut them some slack. It's not like you are any better than the people on welfare. You simply take money from a different government fund. Some of us actually paid off college through working or student loans.

At which point I'll agree. If you have the means, then you should help out. You should do what you can without having to be asked. If it doesn't hinder you, help them.

But to say that you owe them for raising you is bullshit.

Well, no, it's not bullshit. This isn't your parents ringing up their kid going 'Hey, you owe me 100 bucks because I raised you all the time, put it in my back account, yeah?'

This guy's still living with his parents and complaining about paying them money. So no, that's not the case at all. But hey, you turn around to your parents and go 'No, you legally have to give me X amount of shit because the law says so!'

To my knowlage, if you want to get down to it, the law's there to make sure you have a roof over your head, fed, and aren't beaten. Other than that, suck it up sunshine, and pay your own damn way.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

Snip.

Albeit off topic, but do YOU know whats it's like to be young and trying to get into proper employment without any form of inside contacts? I'm stuck living home because of it 3 years later. It's not as simple as going in, handing a resume and getting a career or a basic job handed on a platter.

Although this is Australia, probably much different there. (I hate people who assume finding work is easy, not to be snappy)

I heard there was heaps of work in Auz. Maybe you should be going everywhere with your Cv all dressed up and actually try harder, and not be picky about the job. Shouldn't take you three years to find work if you're really wanting it, chief.

 

[thenarth]

It does irritate me slightly when I see things like this and young uns thinking they are hard done by.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child?

Not to say I don't agree with the overall sentiment of your post. I do. However this always bothers me. You made it, we didn't choose to be born. I'm grateful for what my parents (especially my dad) did for me, it's more than I could expect and despite a lot going wrong, I'm genuinely thankful. However the how "I raised you I'm entitled" well that's nonsense. You break it you buy it. You make a baby, you deal with the consequences. I know you don't legally have to but at the moment we're talking moral not practical or legal. I wish I could have given dad more but my life so far as has not worked out as I'd have hoped and I've not "made it" and now he's dead, so I guess I'll never buy him those drinks I owe him.

My dad charged me rent when I was at home, but it was just to cover the additional expense, and that's perfectly fair. £100/month is a fair amount to be charged. However borrowing money from your children and not paying it back? It's setting a terrible example and being lousy. I feel that, while the OP's parents may be a bit sketchy, that doesn't mean they shouldn't do the right thing and cough up. Just, if you really feel they're like that get ready to jump if they start incrementally raise the price at an excessive rate or charging other fees and so on. You don't want to negate the benefit, and having freedom, well that's priceless.

I think it's fair to charge a child in their means, I mean if you're staying there, they're subsidising you and if you cover your costs (even if you cover a tiny bit more) you're still a lot better off and everyone wins. (There's some practical for you).

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

One who isn't paying rent. Mine was £250 a month and the prices have gone up A LOT since then. A LOT. About 2/3 of my student loan went on rent, having no rent would have left me absolutely loaded.

That said, at some point you should move out so you can spread your wings have fun and screw everything up.

 

[Kejui]

You parents are the ones that decided to have the children, yeah?

Why, then, are you burdened with costs because of their decisions?

This is exactly why I don't want to have a child, because they cost money AND you're making the choice to bring another entity into the world that will have to deal with the same bullshit that we do.


Back to topic, my father gave me an ultimatum for when I graduated from university: six months of living at home in order to find a job.

Instead, I moved to Taiwan three months after graduating from college and having been paying my own bills ever since. It's much easier that way, I think. Family billing and lending, in my opinion, complicates matters.

On the other hand, my girlfriend and her three sisters, well the ones that still live at home, pay rent to their parents. Now, this is an Asian family, so their cultural standards are a bit different (like being expected to live at home for a long time). She doesn't seem to mind and even came up with the notion that she and her sisters should pay for the Internet, as well.

So, I guess if you're trying to be super nice to yours parents, you could pay rent. But, it seems your mom owes you money, so I'd say that, first, you get seven months rent free.

 

[willsham45]

If you don't want to pay rent to your mum move to another house, it will probally be a lot of fun.

But then again don't complain at £100, I asume if you stay you will get food and all the bills paid for. I think the best thing I got was £150 a month + bills and shit like that. If you are concerned money wise stay home and I am sure when money is limited I have a feeling your mum will be a bit more leniant in when pay is.

 

[molesgallus]

I would very much like to know how you manage to spend £80 per week on food, on yourself! That is over £10 per day! Do you eat out all the time? Do you live on takeaway?!

How to spend £20 on a week's food, assuming you have a fairly good stock of 'staples' like tinned tomatoes, herbs & spices, pasta, oil, flour, oats. If not then go get some for about £10.

Day 1

Buy a decent sized chicken (£5)
Buy a pile of veg (£4)
Buy fruit for snacks (£3)
Perishables like milk (£2)
Buy kidney beans (£1)

Cook chicken by boiling it for 2 hours with some veg in a big pot. When it is done, keep the liquid and put in fridge. Take all meat off chicken and bones. You now have the base ingredients for at least 3 days of soup, stir fries, curry, pasta dishes and other things like sandwiches/salads for lunch. Make your own bread; dirt cheap, really easy and tastes soo good. Also impresses the ladies.

Day 4

Buy a large amount of beef mince (£5)

Ideas for using this: chili con carne, spag bol, meatballs, burgers, cottage pie.

Enjoy extra £60 per week (jealous...) to spend on booze, video games and hookers.

On a serious note, I really recommend the cookery book 'economy gastronomy' by Allegra McEverdy if you are looking for ways to save money on food. There are 2 sections: first like the recipes I described where you get one big ingredient and use it for several days' food, the second really good individual recipes she seems to make out of what others would call an 'empty fridge'.

Here's a quick breakdown. It varies a bit, but this is roughly how my food buying breaks down;

-I shop weekly at M&S for my dinners/puddings. I'll usually take advantage of any offers they have, and spend roughly 30-35 for a weeks worth of evening meals, and a reasonable amount of snacks,bread,etc.

-On top of that, I'll spend another 5 on onions, and other base vegetables/spices a week. I use these for breakfast, and the occasional home made meal.

-My friend is a fishmonger, and he secures me a lot of cheap sea-food. I spend about 5-10 on this a week, and almost exclusively eat it for breakfast, in various interesting ways.

-Lastly, and this is my greatest expense(relative to food eaten), I eat out for lunch regularly. Usually twice a week with friends at a moderately priced restaurant/cxafe(25 total) and the other 3-4 days I eat greggs/m&s/other fast cheap lunch place, to tune of 10-15.

I'm not really interested in saving on this. I enjoy the convenience, and taste of it all. I don't drink(no snobbery, etc. Just don't enjoy being drunk/taste of alcohol) And there isn't anything else I particularly want the money for. I've owned about 6 games in my entire life, and 3 were by valve. I'm extremely fussy game wise, and can never rid myself of that itchy 'I'm wasting my time' feeling. I know plenty of my friends spend 30-40 a week on alcohol, and plenty find other things to waste it on. I couldn't be more happy to have great food instead of the juices of decayed organic matter.

I should note, I have a successful job. I'm lucky, and already get a lot of money to do what I love. It's unrelated to University. I'm not living off daddy's money or anything. Not that it would matter.

 

[-Samurai-]

Well, no, it's not bullshit. This isn't your parents ringing up their kid going 'Hey, you owe me 100 bucks because I raised you all the time, put it in my back account, yeah?'

This guy's still living with his parents and complaining about paying them money. So no, that's not the case at all. But hey, you turn around to your parents and go 'No, you legally have to give me X amount of shit because the law says so!'

To my knowlage, if you want to get down to it, the law's there to make sure you have a roof over your head, fed, and aren't beaten. Other than that, suck it up sunshine, and pay your own damn way.

You might want to go back and read my first post in this thread. It should clear up what you seem to be misunderstanding.

And for future reference, you came on a little strong.

 

[Sparcrypt]

On one hand I want to say get the hell over it. 25 a week? Cheapest rent you're ever going to pay. My mortgage costs me 300 a week. I also payed my parents rent since they day I got my first job (at 14) - they didn't need the money in the slighest but they felt it gave me an important lesson in managing my money, which it did.

On the other, I do have some sympathy as it seems your parents aren't charging you for the same reasons mine did - they put every cent of it away and gave it back to me when I left home (they never said they were doing this, they just randomly went 'Hey! Have the money you gave us back!'). It really was a great way of teaching me to budget as well as giving me a surprise saving that went towards my house deposit. I'll be doing the same if I have kids.

So if your annoyance is your mother and step dad are just looking for another excuse not to work then yeah, that is kinda crappy. But hey.. that's their choice I guess and you do live in their home.

But to all the people saying things like "tell her you've paid 7 months upfront" or "demand a rental agreement" - get real guys. He's 18. Which means her response can be 'OK, so you're moving out next week then?'. At which point he will be paying more then 25 bucks a week...

TL;DR - if your parents ask you to pay rent then you pay it or move out.

 

[Richard Eis]

100 is nothing. It will be much more to rent elsewhere.

Also somehow i don't think that 700 quid she owes you covers your food, rent, gas, electricity, water, toys etc... for 18 years!!!