Paying parents rent.

[RobCoxxy]

£100 a month is nothing, I was paying £60 a week in student accomodation, then £20 for food (I LIKE TO EAT) then £10/20pm for electricity, £10-15pm for broadband and £10pm for my phone.

So £100pm is a steal for rent.

Wait... What? £20 is considered a lot for food? I spend at least £80, a week. That's me at my most frugal. I own my own flat, next to the Uni, so I suppose I have that expense covered. But, still. £20 a week? That's under £3 a day? I'm desperately confused here. That is Ramen' territory. £1 for each meal. How can people live like that?

I make a lot of meals myself. And that £20 is literally just dinner/tea whatever. I make a damn fine chilli, cheap as chips to make.

 

[k-ossuburb]

Welcome to the real world son, hell, £100 is a pittance compared to everything most other people have to pay. I say be glad with what you've got and stop bitching.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I'm 26 and living at my parents house while trying to find a new job. Oh and I live in California in the second worst county in the US to find a job(lucky me). My parents make me pay $100 a month rent. Which I'd be fine with if my 23 year old brother had to get a job and pay rent. They aren't charging me at the moment since no job=no money and all the money I get on unemployment goes towards gas for me to do job applications and interviews(since public transportation from county to county is god awful) and pay my mobile. What is left goes into savings in the bank. Oh and my car insurance I pay as well. I get why they feel the need to charge me rent however they've also been trying to kick me out since I was 15 and I've been off and on working since I was 11 and all they do to my brother is shelter him and coddle him and tell him that because of his disabilities(which don't prevent him from working mind you. He COULD hold a job if he weren't so lazy)he doesn't ever have to work or pay rent. I don't pay it, I get kicked out. Instead of paying right now, I'm basically my parent's errand *****. Whenever they need my car they get it unless I have an interview. And yes literally MY car. I paid for the damn thing out of MY money that I earned from my last job. I think parents should take in some considerations with their children. If the child has a job and is not in school, yes they should pay rent. If the child is in school and no job, no. If the child is in school and has a job....well it depends on how bad off the family is to begin with and if the child can feasibly pay rent while still paying for whatever they need(school supplies/paying off school etc...).

 

[tharglet]

Yeah, I paid "rent" when I was at home, but that was after uni, and I had a job, so had the option of moving out.
£100/month is a helluva lot cheaper than some people get... some of the people I was with had to pay for accommodation on their own, and anywhere you go it's gonna be more than that.

Yer, it's a bit of bummer the situation you're in, but as you're over 18, she can technically kick you out of the house if she so wants. And she's prolly got you more than £700 of stuff over the years ^^.

You could argue the point, but don't expect to win. Or maybe negotiate like slightly cheaper rent over a longer term until the debt is paid, so she still gets some money. If she really needs the money now, then the lower rate may be enough to tide her over. Sounds a bit of a crowded work-shy place.

Imo you're probably best living with the situation as it is, and then aiming to get employment soon as you can after uni, so you can afford to move out.

 

[archabaddon]

She did raise you for 18 years, diapered your ass when you were crapping yourself as a baby, fed you when you couldn't feed yourself, etc. I think £100 is a trivial fee to pay rent.

If she wasn't prepared to do that then she shouldn't have had a child.

He didn't decide one day that he should just be born and inconvenience her with nappies and crying.

Your logic is flawed, that is what is expected of every parent. Paying upkeep whilst you're studying shouldn't be expected of any child.

Because actually keeping and raising a child is pretty darn easy, amirite?

Of course, people expect parents to take care of their children; sadly, that's not always the case. Not every parent chooses to keep a child. Some have abortions, while others give children away for adoption. Some people shake their babies or hit their kids. Some kids are neglected, etc., etc.

Assumption is the mother of all f-ups, as they say. For example, my mother now takes care of two kids, coming into their teen years, that were so neglected as infants that they are now mentally and physically handicapped to the point of where they need constant nurse care in order to stay alive; they are wards of the state she adopted.

So if I were still young enough to be living with my mother but old enough to be going to college, I'd have no qualms giving her some rent. It's the least that I could do for helping me grow up up healthy and (relatively) defect-free, not suffering from Shaken Baby Syndrom or Fetal Alcohol Syndrom, not mentally scared from child abuse, etc.

Don't have an opinion unless it's informed

 

[HentMas]

I was raised by the principle of "Family First EVERY TIME,EVERY DAY"

If suddenly all my uncles and their wives got killed, my dad would take care of all their kids, even those that are 18, no questions, if they are studying and he needs to work to keep them at school he woud do it, he would of course ask for help of them if needed be, but that would be a last resort, work hard, take care of your family, thats the way we think around here...

I find it extremely weird when parents ask their kids for money... but thats just because i am 25 an still living with my parents because my dad asked me to stay until i could afford a HOME (full home, not, you know an apartment or something like that) his idea is that i will stay until he dies and inherit the house we live in... "it will belong to you in the end son" is what he is always telling me...

 

[Tallim]

It's not unreasonable to ask for the money. However if they intended to do this they should really have informed you when you applied to Uni so you had an option of what to do. As it stands now they kind of have you over a barrel.

In terms of the money you are owed you should bring it up but don't try to offset it against the rent.

If you are paying rent to family members you want at the very least a written confirmation about the amount and what it covers. You only have to look at the recent Extra Credits problem to see how an informal agreement can cause all sorts of problems very quickly. Same thing goes with family. They want to treat you as an adult and that is ok, but you should respond as an adult and know exactly where you stand in the situation.

 

[Darchrow]

Kinds of reminds me of one of my cousins, she got so many benefits from having 4 children she never worked an honest days work for about 18 years. Now she doesn't get benefits from the eldest son so she wants him to pay for rent which is okay if it wasn't for the fact shes been so damn lazy all her life. I know raising kids is hard but for her having kids and raising them was a profession, a profession that the government pays about double the average salary in the UK.

This is why being a teenage mom is actually beneficial because the benefits system just works in their favor. Kind of sickening.

 

[Ham_authority95]

To start, I'm gonna give you some background about me. I live in Scotland and that I am 18. 10 people live in my house, my Mum, Step-dad, sister, 3 Step-Sisters, 1 Step-Brother, my Cousin and my Cousin's 3 year old son. And of course me. I finished school in June and my Sister nad Step-Sister finished school June 2010.

I start University on Monday and I get money from SAAS/SLC for doing so. I get ~£550 a month from them combined, and just over £1000 in September combined (I don't know why more in September, i guess for books and stuff.)

To keep costs down going ot Uni (by the time I finish my course I'll be ~£16000 in debt, possibly more, since the Government pay for 4 years of University) I decided to stay at home, thinking my Mum was reasonable since my Sister has been at Uni for a year and didn't have to give my Mum anything.

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

I sense a change in address in your future. Move out, move in with a friend or get a dirt-cheap apartment somewhere. Get a crappy job to help pay the bills, when you've established a base for yourself, find a slightly better job. If this means putting off your studies for a bit, don't hesitate because having a bit of money to yourself is better than having your money taken away by a leech.

Owing money to your parents is just a fucking stupid situation that you need to fix ASAP.

 

[archabaddon]

First off, that's my line. And you can only use it where it fits. My opinion is actually informed.

And where in the hell did you get chav from my words? How is it chavish to expect a mother to take care of her child?

Nowhere did I say all mothers care for their children. I said a mother that does isn't to be repayed. If she's going to take on the responsibility of a child you don't throw her a party because she fed and clothed them. That is what is expected of a parent.

The parent can't then ask for repayment for that. They chose to have a child and have the shoulder the responsibility that comes with it.

I don't think I ever insinuated that taking care of a child was easy. So again. Your logic and your argument are both flawed.

And now for a more fitting turn of the line.

Don't have an opinion on my opinion unless you understood it.

"Your line"? That's awesome. And tropish. It's like you're from a sitcom or something, how cute

So I suppose that a child should show no appreciation towards a parent for what a parent's done for them over the years. Yes, I think I understand your position - ungrateful

I can also see it's pretty useless arguing with an egotist on the Internet.

Don't have an opinion on my opinion unless you can actually relate to how actual human beings should relate to each other

 

[archabaddon]

It's for people like you that I wish this site would allow me verbally berate smarmy...

Let's get one thing straight. You don't know me, you don't know anything about me. And yet you judge me for saying that it is not a childs job to help support a family when the parent refuses to get work.

So yea, keep on willfully misunderstanding what people say so you can take some vague moral high-ground. Whatever, I'm done.

I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you.

Don't worry. I was done with this argument hours ago.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

It's true, these people did raise you. Suck it up sunshine and pay your parents. 'OH BUT SHE OWES ME 700 DOLLARS!' If you were born and then your Mum and Dad didn't do anything to look after you, chances are you wouldn't have been alive to go to uni, let alone jump online and have a bit of a cry.

This kind of thing doesn't fly with me.

No-one asks to be born. No-one asks to be a financial burden on their parents. Adults know what they're getting into when they decide to have a child, and to say that a child owes them for all the money spent on them, which is the parents responsibility, is just stupid.

Your parents took care of you because it was their moral and legal responsibility to do so, not because you asked them to.

And now it is no longer their moral or legal responsibility, hence the 100. Frankly grown (well is 18 truly grown?) up people should stop being burdens to their parents and start to live their own life. I can't imagine finding a place that would let me live there for just 100 a month.

So your parents bum off welfare and had too many children. At least they had the decency to give you an option (to move out or to pay 1/5th of what your rent would probably actually be).

PS: Your existence has cost them far more than 100 a month so maybe cut them some slack. It's not like you are any better than the people on welfare. You simply take money from a different government fund. Some of us actually paid off college through working or student loans.

At which point I'll agree. If you have the means, then you should help out. You should do what you can without having to be asked. If it doesn't hinder you, help them.

But to say that you owe them for raising you is bullshit.

Well, no, it's not bullshit. This isn't your parents ringing up their kid going 'Hey, you owe me 100 bucks because I raised you all the time, put it in my back account, yeah?'

This guy's still living with his parents and complaining about paying them money. So no, that's not the case at all. But hey, you turn around to your parents and go 'No, you legally have to give me X amount of shit because the law says so!'

To my knowlage, if you want to get down to it, the law's there to make sure you have a roof over your head, fed, and aren't beaten. Other than that, suck it up sunshine, and pay your own damn way.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

Snip.

Albeit off topic, but do YOU know whats it's like to be young and trying to get into proper employment without any form of inside contacts? I'm stuck living home because of it 3 years later. It's not as simple as going in, handing a resume and getting a career or a basic job handed on a platter.

Although this is Australia, probably much different there. (I hate people who assume finding work is easy, not to be snappy)

I heard there was heaps of work in Auz. Maybe you should be going everywhere with your Cv all dressed up and actually try harder, and not be picky about the job. Shouldn't take you three years to find work if you're really wanting it, chief.

 

[thenarth]

It does irritate me slightly when I see things like this and young uns thinking they are hard done by.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child?

Not to say I don't agree with the overall sentiment of your post. I do. However this always bothers me. You made it, we didn't choose to be born. I'm grateful for what my parents (especially my dad) did for me, it's more than I could expect and despite a lot going wrong, I'm genuinely thankful. However the how "I raised you I'm entitled" well that's nonsense. You break it you buy it. You make a baby, you deal with the consequences. I know you don't legally have to but at the moment we're talking moral not practical or legal. I wish I could have given dad more but my life so far as has not worked out as I'd have hoped and I've not "made it" and now he's dead, so I guess I'll never buy him those drinks I owe him.

My dad charged me rent when I was at home, but it was just to cover the additional expense, and that's perfectly fair. £100/month is a fair amount to be charged. However borrowing money from your children and not paying it back? It's setting a terrible example and being lousy. I feel that, while the OP's parents may be a bit sketchy, that doesn't mean they shouldn't do the right thing and cough up. Just, if you really feel they're like that get ready to jump if they start incrementally raise the price at an excessive rate or charging other fees and so on. You don't want to negate the benefit, and having freedom, well that's priceless.

I think it's fair to charge a child in their means, I mean if you're staying there, they're subsidising you and if you cover your costs (even if you cover a tiny bit more) you're still a lot better off and everyone wins. (There's some practical for you).

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

One who isn't paying rent. Mine was £250 a month and the prices have gone up A LOT since then. A LOT. About 2/3 of my student loan went on rent, having no rent would have left me absolutely loaded.

That said, at some point you should move out so you can spread your wings have fun and screw everything up.

 

[Kejui]

You parents are the ones that decided to have the children, yeah?

Why, then, are you burdened with costs because of their decisions?

This is exactly why I don't want to have a child, because they cost money AND you're making the choice to bring another entity into the world that will have to deal with the same bullshit that we do.


Back to topic, my father gave me an ultimatum for when I graduated from university: six months of living at home in order to find a job.

Instead, I moved to Taiwan three months after graduating from college and having been paying my own bills ever since. It's much easier that way, I think. Family billing and lending, in my opinion, complicates matters.

On the other hand, my girlfriend and her three sisters, well the ones that still live at home, pay rent to their parents. Now, this is an Asian family, so their cultural standards are a bit different (like being expected to live at home for a long time). She doesn't seem to mind and even came up with the notion that she and her sisters should pay for the Internet, as well.

So, I guess if you're trying to be super nice to yours parents, you could pay rent. But, it seems your mom owes you money, so I'd say that, first, you get seven months rent free.

 

[willsham45]

If you don't want to pay rent to your mum move to another house, it will probally be a lot of fun.

But then again don't complain at £100, I asume if you stay you will get food and all the bills paid for. I think the best thing I got was £150 a month + bills and shit like that. If you are concerned money wise stay home and I am sure when money is limited I have a feeling your mum will be a bit more leniant in when pay is.