Paying parents rent.

[Insideout Ink Demon]

She did raise you for 18 years, diapered your ass when you were crapping yourself as a baby, fed you when you couldn't feed yourself, etc. I think £100 is a trivial fee to pay rent.

If she wasn't prepared to do that then she shouldn't have had a child.

He didn't decide one day that he should just be born and inconvenience her with nappies and crying.

Your logic is flawed, that is what is expected of every parent. Paying upkeep whilst you're studying shouldn't be expected of any child.

18 onwards he's no longer a child, there are children in the house who deserve supporting more as they are children, and benifits are being reduced due to his being over 18.
Also, parents have a reasponsibility to prepare you for the real world. it'd cost him alot more to move out

As someone else in this thread said.

A parents responsibility doesn't just disappear once the child turns 18. You only stop being a parent when you're mentally or physically incapable of being one.

If he can't afford £100 a month then what is he to do? He's left with the option of dropping out of uni to pick up a paying job. Not exactly the most parental ultimatum to give a child is it?

i never said they should relinquish all responsibility at 18. but their priorities should shift as his age changes, and teach him a little bit about surviving in the real world, give him a little responsibility. parents obligation to raise their child goes beyond throwing money at them.

why isn't it a parental thing to do? there are other children, actual minors in the house, should they suffer so he can go into further education without any promise of a job after? shouldnt (i'm guessing an age here) a 12 year old being clothed and fed take priority over an 18 year olds dreams of further education?

he's 18 and got to take some responsibilities in life. it's not like they're asking him to pay exactly his share of all costs, just a reasonable contribution.
EDIT: No its not a childs reasponsibilty to suport the family, but he aint a child no more n £100 a month aint suppoting, its a contribution

Bullshit, you're a child until you enter the real world. i.e. the job market.

The parents should be looking at getting a job themselves instead of syphoning their childs loan. I have no sympathy for someone with that many children who lives on benefits. You shouldn't be allowed children if you can't fiscally care for them.

He's 18 and studying. He shouldn't be worrying about paying his parents rent.

Like I said OP. Move out and get a accommodation loan. Move in a flat with a group of students and have a blast.

"dreams of further education" ?..... Everyone has the right to further education. End of!

Also, as for your 'Edit:'. Talk about basic reading comprehension failure.

It is not the childs responsibility to help support the family. Especially not when they're in education.

I bolded the bit you clearly missed. Because you felt the need to repeat it's meaning to me using different words, as if you were telling me something new.

:/

well i'll agree with you on one thing, he should move out. see how he feels about that £100 after spending some time in the real world.

n feel free to call BS n say he's still a child, i think its pathetic to be 18+ and want to be considered a child.

and yes "dreams of further education" Everyone has the right to further education if you say so, but my parents couldnt afford to foot the bill (ie pay give me a free pass on everything) and sometimes in life thats just the cards your dealt. should my parents not have had me because they couldnt afford to carry once i turned 18 and they no longer recieved child benifit?

 

[Project_Omega]

To start, I'm gonna give you some background about me. I live in Scotland and that I am 18. 10 people live in my house, my Mum, Step-dad, sister, 3 Step-Sisters, 1 Step-Brother, my Cousin and my Cousin's 3 year old son. And of course me. I finished school in June and my Sister nad Step-Sister finished school June 2010.

I start University on Monday and I get money from SAAS/SLC for doing so. I get ~£550 a month from them combined, and just over £1000 in September combined (I don't know why more in September, i guess for books and stuff.)

To keep costs down going ot Uni (by the time I finish my course I'll be ~£16000 in debt, possibly more, since the Government pay for 4 years of University) I decided to stay at home, thinking my Mum was reasonable since my Sister has been at Uni for a year and didn't have to give my Mum anything.

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

Dude, Girl (Unsure of your gender, sorry).

What I am going to say is that you should try and explain to your mother the fact you have £16K of Debt after you leave Uni. All of that debt is gonna fall on your head once you start hitting the 14K per year line I think it is (I live in the UK). She needs to understand that one day *Surprise* you are going to leave the house and probably slam the door behind you, then what. Your Mother and your Step-Dad will be stuck with no real income from you at all, and I am sure you wouldnt like to support her for the rest of your life like this (Or I could be wrong, your choice).

I too have a job, a low end job to get me the extra chash for going out and hobbies. My parents said that with my first pay they would like £50 for the house budget, and borrow (Literally) some more if possible.

Now, please don't take this the wrong way . My parents said that they have a 'dignity' to not just take from their own son the money he has been working real hard for, since they are there to support me until I actually 'leave the nest'.

In my small opinion, your step-dad should get a job, since he has joined the family, and is now the full pledged 'alpha male'. Being the Alpha Male means he has the responsibility to take care of his family in terms of money and not just sit around and do nothing. It also wouldnt hurt if you mom got one too, since you have a pretty big family it seems.

I wish you luck in your Uni

 

[Ironwampa]

Don't feel like you owe your parents anything since you don't. It seems like they've been living off of you for a while now. You should live at home because even with the rent you are still putting your self in a better financial position. You shouldn't try to get back the money your mom owes you because it would probably come out of your siblings' welfare not your parents. You should also consider using your and your sister's rent as leverage to argue against your parents wasting your siblings' money from the government on stupid shit for themselves.

 

[nolongerhere]

I'd just move out if I were you.

I bet he can't get rent anywhere else for 100/month. Sounds like she is giving him a deal.

IF your parents can afford it, its not unreasonable to expect a free ride during University. If however they can't, it is not at all unreasonable to ask for a small amount like that to help cover the costs they are incurring for you, such as food and utility costs.

You are 18, so be an adult. Agree to the rent, calmly discuss the 700 they owe you, and strike a deal for that to cover the first 7 months.

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

How many university students don't pay rent? I imagine they would have £100 a month spare if they budgeted for it.

The students that live in halls an flats usually get accommodation loans. If you're going to get an accommodation loan you may aswell move out.

Yeah, but it's still more than £100 a month. £100 a month for rent and food and internet and electric is really cheap, and if he wants to pay more, then that's fine. Still seems pretty dumb to me if your home life is good.

If you can't afford £100 a month without getting an accommodation loan how can you just pay them?

He's getting £500 a month. How can he not afford £100? I get the same, and I can afford to pay £200. I still have plenty left over for travel, and after that, I can afford to have a lot of fun. The idea that he can't contribute to the house if they need him to is bullshit. They're not asking him to give up all his money, he's got plenty left over. If he has to travel so far that he can't afford to do so on that budget with plenty left over, then it would be cheaper to simply get a flat nearer the uni.

You have no idea what he might have to spend his money on. His course might require that he buy specialist hardware, textbooks, art supplies. Whatever.

Like I've said a thousand times. I'd just apply for a housing loan and move out.

He can't get any more from SAAS. Right now, they're paying him the maximum amount that they'll pay unless he's disabled or has dependents. If he were to move into his own accommodation, he would get no more money. The student loan is what you use to pay for accommodation. If he comes from a poor family, then about half will come as a bursary, and he won't have to pay it back.

 

[Project_Omega]

I have to pay £55 a month in rent. I am unemployed, the state provides me with £62 a month. This covers permission to live in my house. But It doesn't cover clothing, food, and little things like my gaming habit.

£7 is spent on those things. £7 isn't enough... It just isn't. It can't buy food, at minimum around £10 a month. Can't buy clothes. Clothes are usually around £15. And certainly can't buy games. Around £20 - £60.

I can't go out, because I can't afford it. I can't get a job in this economic climate, because nobody wants a inexperienced post-student. And with Christmas and birthdays coming fast... Yeah, y'know.

My life...

Dude, I have a 'Last-hope' for you.

Work at Mcdonalds

 

[cdstephens]

To start, I'm gonna give you some background about me. I live in Scotland and that I am 18. 10 people live in my house, my Mum, Step-dad, sister, 3 Step-Sisters, 1 Step-Brother, my Cousin and my Cousin's 3 year old son. And of course me. I finished school in June and my Sister nad Step-Sister finished school June 2010.

I start University on Monday and I get money from SAAS/SLC for doing so. I get ~£550 a month from them combined, and just over £1000 in September combined (I don't know why more in September, i guess for books and stuff.)

To keep costs down going ot Uni (by the time I finish my course I'll be ~£16000 in debt, possibly more, since the Government pay for 4 years of University) I decided to stay at home, thinking my Mum was reasonable since my Sister has been at Uni for a year and didn't have to give my Mum anything.

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

It depends why they don't have a job. If they don't have one out of laziness, then yeah siphoning off your hard earned work may be an issue. At the same time, you're an adult, so they can easily just kick you out of the house if you refuse to pay on the grounds of your ability to be self sufficient.

If they don't have a job because they got fired recently and the job market is terrible, that's different of course.

 

[nolongerhere]

I'd just move out if I were you.

I bet he can't get rent anywhere else for 100/month. Sounds like she is giving him a deal.

IF your parents can afford it, its not unreasonable to expect a free ride during University. If however they can't, it is not at all unreasonable to ask for a small amount like that to help cover the costs they are incurring for you, such as food and utility costs.

You are 18, so be an adult. Agree to the rent, calmly discuss the 700 they owe you, and strike a deal for that to cover the first 7 months.

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

How many university students don't pay rent? I imagine they would have £100 a month spare if they budgeted for it.

The students that live in halls an flats usually get accommodation loans. If you're going to get an accommodation loan you may aswell move out.

Yeah, but it's still more than £100 a month. £100 a month for rent and food and internet and electric is really cheap, and if he wants to pay more, then that's fine. Still seems pretty dumb to me if your home life is good.

If you can't afford £100 a month without getting an accommodation loan how can you just pay them?

He's getting £500 a month. How can he not afford £100? I get the same, and I can afford to pay £200. I still have plenty left over for travel, and after that, I can afford to have a lot of fun. The idea that he can't contribute to the house if they need him to is bullshit. They're not asking him to give up all his money, he's got plenty left over. If he has to travel so far that he can't afford to do so on that budget with plenty left over, then it would be cheaper to simply get a flat nearer the uni.

You have no idea what he might have to spend his money on. His course might require that he buy specialist hardware, textbooks, art supplies. Whatever.

Like I've said a thousand times. I'd just apply for a housing loan and move out.

He can't get any more from SAAS. Right now, they're paying him the maximum amount that they'll pay unless he's disabled or has dependents. If he were to move into his own accommodation, he would get no more money. The student loan is what you use to pay for accommodation. If he comes from a poor family, then about half will come as a bursary, and he won't have to pay it back.

In England there are separate maintenance and accommodation loans. And grants for people who's parents pay is bellow a certain bracket. Which his would be, with them being unemployed.

It's different here. You get a loan for living costs. That covers everything, and goes up to about £5,500 a year. If you qualify, then about half of that can be a bursary, which he doesn't have to pay back. He can't get any more money.

 

[Merkavar]

i pay my dad like $150 a fortnight plus contribute to the water/electriy etc when i can.

if i lent my dad money i would consider not paying him the rent, but then again my dad isnt rich and money isnt that important to me.

 

[renegade7]

Well, then she has to pay you back first. Also, they're adults, they should be earning their own money I think, not taking it from their kids (regardless of how old the kids are).

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

She did raise you for 18 years, diapered your ass when you were crapping yourself as a baby, fed you when you couldn't feed yourself, etc. I think £100 is a trivial fee to pay rent.

If she wasn't prepared to do that then she shouldn't have had a child.

He didn't decide one day that he should just be born and inconvenience her with nappies and crying.

Your logic is flawed, that is what is expected of every parent. Paying upkeep whilst you're studying shouldn't be expected of any child.

18 onwards he's no longer a child, there are children in the house who deserve supporting more as they are children, and benifits are being reduced due to his being over 18.
Also, parents have a reasponsibility to prepare you for the real world. it'd cost him alot more to move out

As someone else in this thread said.

A parents responsibility doesn't just disappear once the child turns 18. You only stop being a parent when you're mentally or physically incapable of being one.

If he can't afford £100 a month then what is he to do? He's left with the option of dropping out of uni to pick up a paying job. Not exactly the most parental ultimatum to give a child is it?

i never said they should relinquish all responsibility at 18. but their priorities should shift as his age changes, and teach him a little bit about surviving in the real world, give him a little responsibility. parents obligation to raise their child goes beyond throwing money at them.

why isn't it a parental thing to do? there are other children, actual minors in the house, should they suffer so he can go into further education without any promise of a job after? shouldnt (i'm guessing an age here) a 12 year old being clothed and fed take priority over an 18 year olds dreams of further education?

he's 18 and got to take some responsibilities in life. it's not like they're asking him to pay exactly his share of all costs, just a reasonable contribution.
EDIT: No its not a childs reasponsibilty to suport the family, but he aint a child no more n £100 a month aint suppoting, its a contribution

Bullshit, you're a child until you enter the real world. i.e. the job market.

The parents should be looking at getting a job themselves instead of syphoning their childs loan. I have no sympathy for someone with that many children who lives on benefits. You shouldn't be allowed children if you can't fiscally care for them.

He's 18 and studying. He shouldn't be worrying about paying his parents rent.

Like I said OP. Move out and get a accommodation loan. Move in a flat with a group of students and have a blast.

"dreams of further education" ?..... Everyone has the right to further education. End of!

Also, as for your 'Edit:'. Talk about basic reading comprehension failure.

It is not the childs responsibility to help support the family. Especially not when they're in education.

I bolded the bit you clearly missed. Because you felt the need to repeat it's meaning to me using different words, as if you were telling me something new.

:/

well i'll agree with you on one thing, he should move out. see how he feels about that £100 after spending some time in the real world.

n feel free to call BS n say he's still a child, i think its pathetic to be 18+ and want to be considered a child.

and yes "dreams of further education" Everyone has the right to further education if you say so, but my parents couldnt afford to foot the bill (ie pay give me a free pass on everything) and sometimes in life thats just the cards your dealt. should my parents not have had me because they couldnt afford to carry once i turned 18 and they no longer recieved child benifit?

You seem to be lacking this experience of the real world. If he applied for a accommodation loan, he wouldn't be paying for anything. The loan would be footing it.

the real world doesn't start until you get a job.

I think it's pathetic to ask for your child to give you money from their maintenance loan because you can't be arsed getting a job.

But que sera.

Depending when you would have gone to uni. That's no excuse. With grants (the ones you don't pay back) and student loans being as they are. Your parents wouldn't have to have paid a penny.

And people shouldn't have children unless they have jobs and can pay for their expenses.

you're right, i have zero experience of accomidation loans. i was thinking more when that eventually runs out (i assume its not for life) n how much it costs to live, £100 will look reasonable in hindsite. we wont know if he thinks that for quite a few years.
plus out of curiosity, do these loans cover council tax, water rates, food, tv licence?

how do you know his parents cant be a***ed to get a job? they may have conditions making them unable to work, or laid off in the recession (if this point has been covered, i apologise, getting tired now as its late)

well, back when i had the option after senior school, there wasnt anything in the way of grants, and student loans i think had to start being paid back for earning less than £16000 a year. I've never wanted a loan hanging over me, so wasnt an option to me then n not something i'd want hanging over me now. (i'm happy now with hindsite, since i work with people of a similar age to me who have student debts and got no further than me.)

so no, loans were my only option and i wouldnt want something like that hung over and my parents couldnt afford this expense. they had jobs for the most part though

 

[Vault Citizen]

I think the only part that makes it unreasonable is that the mother and step father don't look for work themselves.

 

[Project_Omega]

Find a way to work around the money she owes you, say 7 months of rent free living, then pay the rent as she wishes. I've just turned 18, as a deal, the same deal she had with my brother when he turned 18, we would give her some money each month, roughly £100, as soon as we were in full time employment or a steady income. Think of it this way, it prepares you for when you have your own house and have to pay rent, bills and all that jazz. And if Scotland works the same way as England (yes I'm a little dense) she would no longer be getting any child benefits or things like that from the government. You'd still be living there using the same resources as ever, but your mother would have less money to provide those. Paying her rent will make up for what she'll no longer get now that you're no longer a child (in the eyes of the law).

I think your parents were a bit too harsh on you with the £100, my parents would never charge me directly every month for staying with them, since they believed I am under their care until I move out. They would just ask for money in a serious emergency when there would be no other choice. They call it 'dignity' .

And the 'preparing you for the real world by taking £100 away from you each month' is a load of bollocks in my small opinion. I believe you got the classic case of TrollDad on yourself. By the time you get a job after university, you surely would be able to afford accomodation and its not like you have to get used to money *poof* disappearing from your account, it just HAPPENS. It doesnt seem fair to me that they would take away a £100 from your tiny pay for working at Costa.

Get your family out for a dinner once in a while, buy your dad a cold beer/whiskey, get them on a trip (Chip up ofc) or give your family money when they actually need it.

 

[nolongerhere]

I'd just move out if I were you.

I bet he can't get rent anywhere else for 100/month. Sounds like she is giving him a deal.

IF your parents can afford it, its not unreasonable to expect a free ride during University. If however they can't, it is not at all unreasonable to ask for a small amount like that to help cover the costs they are incurring for you, such as food and utility costs.

You are 18, so be an adult. Agree to the rent, calmly discuss the 700 they owe you, and strike a deal for that to cover the first 7 months.

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

How many university students don't pay rent? I imagine they would have £100 a month spare if they budgeted for it.

The students that live in halls an flats usually get accommodation loans. If you're going to get an accommodation loan you may aswell move out.

Yeah, but it's still more than £100 a month. £100 a month for rent and food and internet and electric is really cheap, and if he wants to pay more, then that's fine. Still seems pretty dumb to me if your home life is good.

If you can't afford £100 a month without getting an accommodation loan how can you just pay them?

He's getting £500 a month. How can he not afford £100? I get the same, and I can afford to pay £200. I still have plenty left over for travel, and after that, I can afford to have a lot of fun. The idea that he can't contribute to the house if they need him to is bullshit. They're not asking him to give up all his money, he's got plenty left over. If he has to travel so far that he can't afford to do so on that budget with plenty left over, then it would be cheaper to simply get a flat nearer the uni.

You have no idea what he might have to spend his money on. His course might require that he buy specialist hardware, textbooks, art supplies. Whatever.

Like I've said a thousand times. I'd just apply for a housing loan and move out.

He can't get any more from SAAS. Right now, they're paying him the maximum amount that they'll pay unless he's disabled or has dependents. If he were to move into his own accommodation, he would get no more money. The student loan is what you use to pay for accommodation. If he comes from a poor family, then about half will come as a bursary, and he won't have to pay it back.

In England there are separate maintenance and accommodation loans. And grants for people who's parents pay is bellow a certain bracket. Which his would be, with them being unemployed.

It's different here. You get a loan for living costs. That covers everything, and goes up to about £5,500 a year. If you qualify, then about half of that can be a bursary, which he doesn't have to pay back. He can't get any more money.

Well admittedly, 5,500 a year is more than double what I get over here. I don't have an accommodation loan. So I'd probably be able to manage that if I wanted to move out.

Student digs are usually cheap. Especially when you're in a flat with 5 other people.

Well yeah. He'd have no issue. The fact that he's getting the maximum loan possible while staying at home shows that he's in a low income household. I just don't think that it's asking to much to contribute a bit to your family in that situation.
Edit: By low income, I mean less that £24,275 a year.

 

[Gxas]

(Repetition of everyone else)

It sounds like you've got seven months free to find a good job (if you don't already have one, of course).

I mean, if the rent is necessary, then it's necessary. Now, if it's just going to nonsense things (things that aren't necessary, such as alcohol [not trying to insinuate anything, you did not give a full background]), then there's a bit of a problem.