PETA Asks Gamers To Be Kind To Zerglings

Infernal Lawyer

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1. They don't have feelings in any sense of the word. They are nothing but code in the literal sense, and nothing but mindless killers following a hivemind in the figurative sense (ironically not dissimilar to PETA itself). At best, they feel pain in the sense of a 'damage report' rather than a traumatic experience.

2. PETA has long proven that it has NO problem killing animals by the thousand, as long as the death is painless. PETA logic dictates that if there's a chance an animal may suffer even slightly in the future (god forbid), it deserves to die to prevent said suffering. Therefore, TETZ is really just an organisation promoting killing Zerg by euthanasia rather than bullets or fire. In fact, outside of gaming, this theory promotes any sort of consumption of animal products or killing animals for sport as long as they don't suffer, even though of course PETA and less extreme animal rights groups in general sternly frown upon these practices.

3. Talking about 'co-existing' with the Zerg is just a copy of their usual blathering nonsense they give to everyone before they get to dumping puppies into dumpsters. Of course, suggesting the game should transform into catching the Zerg in cages and taking them to 'mercy centers' (while, you know, we keep shooting at and bombing the Protoss, because they look too human to get special treatment) would make them look even more ridiculous than they do now. That and complaining about the various random critters you can click on until they explode.

4. The Zerg's only goal is to kill everything, steal DNA to create more fearsome creatures, then go kill some more. They are not animals, they are parasites on a universal scale that endlessly consume and multiply, leaving no room for anyone or anything else (unless they are transformed into mindless suicide bombers). To relate them to crocodiles or snakes or whatever simply because they look reptilian is short-sighted and proves that PETA can't be bothered doing its research... Though PETA has never liked anything remotely resembling facts.

5. PETA wants us to be kind and understanding to the Zerg who want to kill us all, when they condemn the Pokemon games for 'enslaving' animals for sport, despite the genre's repeated messages of bonding, companionship and understanding between the trainers and Pokemon. The Pokemon series, both game and TV, even involves 'bad guys', e.g. Team Rocket or abusive trainers, who abuse, steal or 'slave drive' Pokemon, and they are CLEARLY painted in a bad light while the protagonists stop said abuse and treat their own Pokemon with love and respect. Again, a sign of little to no research on PETA's part.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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This just in: PETA knows how to troll people on the internet.

Either that, or they're out of their minds. I like Zerg, but gimme a break!
 

6_Qubed

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Nerfnow was doing cute zerglings way before those hypocritical gobshites even knew what a zerg was.

...Sadly I have nothing else to contribute to this discussion. Apologies.
 

TheDrunkNinja

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Jun 12, 2009
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Let me summarize what Barlett is trying to say:

"I know that Zerglings have nothing to do with ethical treatment to animals, but we couldn't resist the publicity of attaching our name to an internationally popular game like Starcraft. I mean, just look at all the publicity we get whenever we criticize something like Assassin's Creed or Mario! All you people get up in arms so easily and start talking about us and spreading the word! It's like you stupid gamers are our own private marketing department! Keep up the good work!"
 

conmag9

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Wait, am I reading this right? PETA is making a parody of themselves? They're actually...not taking themselves as seriously as the plague?

Huh. Good for them. Just don't use that goodwill as an excuse to do more stupid things and my disdain will have to be directed toward something else.
 

LarenzoAOG

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This would be hilarious is PETA didn't actively kill more real animals than they "saved," or if the founder of PETA wasn't the apparently one of the world's most prolific euthanizers.

Because as it stands it seems like one of the worst hypocrisies I've ever heard.
 

Atmos Duality

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They do indeed have feelings.
Until I sever their head from their spine with my PSI-Blades.

Then they don't feel much at all.

Adun-toridas!
 

MopBox

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Aren't we all just being trolled here? Isn't PETA just a giant meta-troll trying get a rise out of gamers for the sake of controversy?
 

AgDr_ODST

Cortana's guardian
Oct 22, 2009
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well if we do ever discover that we share this vast mostly empty universe with murderous zerg-esque aliens, we can send PETA to try to make nice and immediately get rid of them all in one fell swoop before we start fighting them properly
 

TAGM

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conmag9 said:
Wait, am I reading this right? PETA is making a parody of themselves? They're actually...not taking themselves as seriously as the plague?

Huh. Good for them. Just don't use that goodwill as an excuse to do more stupid things and my disdain will have to be directed toward something else.
Yeah, I don't think this is PETA as a whole, to be honest. It wasn't the entire PETA company who made Super Mario Fuck You Gamers You're Supporting Animal Abuse and Cooking Trauma and such. It was one (or maybe a few) people who classify as gamers and PETA supporters making it and then sending it over so PETA could trumpet it as proof that we're worse then everyone else or... Whatever their point was.

I'm not sure "parody" would work either. You assume they know enough to know that hugging Zerg = really bad idea, and given the whole "Mario Steals Tannoki Skin" thing and "Yoshi is being exploited" and such, it's clear they know about as much about video games (Or Mario, at the very least) as they know about how killing 2/3rds of the animals you save and then dancing about supporting people who firebomb animal research labs might just be a tiiiiny li'll bit hypocritical. The people that makes this stuff, kinda like PETA in general, either really are that stupid - In which case, they're stupid - or they're just acting stupid to get our attention - in which case, they're pretty much bastards.

And besides which, the whole "cute zergling" thing has been done better at least twice before now, if you ask me. (To wit, NerfNow and that parody of the HotS trailer with the li'll purple licky zerg things.)
 

Jeno.K

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Jan 12, 2013
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Well I have their support. If they want to save the zerg, let them. They would do an immense social service by getting themselves infected. After all, an insect based hive mind is way better than a mindless colony hive mind based on murder and hypocrisy.

By the way, has anyone noticed that PETA's been aiming their campaign at the gaming community?
 

Reyold

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Jun 18, 2012
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Look PETA, I know we're supposed to love our enemy and all, but this is kinda ridiculous.

To PETA's credit, this is WAAAAY better than most of the bullcrap they've pulled in the past.
 

Mahoshonen

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Jul 28, 2008
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To PETA's credit, that is one of the cutest zerglings ever drawn.

I took their message to heart and individually named all of my zerglings, but it got troublesome to keep track of them so I just started calling them 'Ken'

Godspeed, all you Kens. Your sacrifice to the Swarm will be long remembered!
 

Tony2077

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i hate to break it to them but billions or so have already died and there are always more
 

Ickorus

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Well it can't be worse than the Hug-A-Hydralisk movement, nobody really considered the scythe-claws..