Physical attraction: Some things I've noticed

[Stasisesque]

I don't really understand your last point, I was just giving a quick example of three different men I find attractive. Range was simply used to mean a variation on type.

As for my comment about the three women featured in the OP, I did repeatedly suggest my view was subjective: "to me", "as far as I can tell", as such building up to my final point that everyone is attractive to someone. All three women in the OP, to me, look the same, that's not to say they're not attractive, but if I had to pick one out of a line up I don't think I could.

Yes and I don't see the differences in the men you find attractive. It was just and example.

Second. You called it bizarre. I don't know what your intent was, but the wording you chose made it sound like you not understanding was some kind of oddity. And it's just not odd for different people to notice different things.

I do find it odd. I find any idea of a "type" odd, I understand finding one person attractive and then people of similar looks attractive by familiarity, but never venturing outside of that same particular set of features I find to be bizarre and to my eye, the three women in the OP have very, very similar features. They are all very good looking women, so maybe it's just that, classically attractive hence they look alike.

It, as mentioned in above posts, could simply be down to me not really noticing their bodies, or it could be how I recognise faces and have lumped all three into a similar box. It's probably the latter, as I can't see how Laurence Fishburne and Tom Hiddleston look at all similar (though I will give you Eric Idle and Laurence Fishburne, tentatively).

 

[Eddie the head]

[It, as mentioned in above posts, could simply be down to me not really noticing their bodies, or it could be how I recognise faces and have lumped all three into a similar box.

That was my entire point. That it's arrogant to assume that just because you don't recognize it it's not there. So fine we agree lets move on.

 

[Stasisesque]

[It, as mentioned in above posts, could simply be down to me not really noticing their bodies, or it could be how I recognise faces and have lumped all three into a similar box.

That was my entire point. That it's arrogant to assume that just because you don't recognize it it's not there. So fine we agree lets move on.

I didn't think I said they absolutely were identical, did I? I certainly meant to be subjective, else my point about everyone being attractive to someone wouldn't make any sense.

I suppose it would be arrogant to think your opinion of attractiveness is the be all, end all, but that is definitely not what I meant.

 

[Julius Terrell]

To all those that say I lack confidence, you all are crazy. It takes 10x more confidence to walk in my shoes. Everything about me as always been the opposite of the idea. I usually stand out because I've got the kind of confidence that most people will never have.

I've learned to build my confidence, because I have talents and an amazing personality for those that are willing to get to know me. I never knew I was even short until maybe 3 years ago. I'm in my mid-30s so I never walked around thinking about this height thing until I started people watching when I worked at the airport. I noticed that most of the tall guys had women and kids and wondered why just them.

My dating prospects really bottomed out during my 20s. I rarely had success with women during that decade, but I had no interest in going to the kinds of social places people liked to go(clubs,sporting events, ect..ect). I hate ANY kind of popular music so that makes it plausible.

I've always been able to have nice conversations with women, and do all the right things. It's just that I have a hard time meeting single women. Most women in my age bracket have been off the market FOREVER. I just find the thought of dating older women to be an exercise in misery so I always try to find 20-somethings. Works best for me. I'm rambling.....back on point.

I work in a mall as a cleaner and I see the kinds of men women are interested in. Big and Tall is what I see first and formost. I do see short guys with women too, but struggle is to get where they are(there is a huge Mexican population where I live).

I've tried internet dating, but I've been pretty much ignored there. So why is confidence the most important thing when women SAY they like big and tall guys again. I mean I see it with my eye-balls. All these big and tall guys literally tower over me so how am I supposed to compete with what women desire? Do some research online and it will back up what I've been saying. I've never heard of anyone say I've always wanted a short man. Most women seem to think that there are no 5'3" guys. That's how bad my situation is.

 

[Vault101]

I never said 'men are more rational' I said that for men the issue of wanting children isn't as emotional(or deep-seated) as it is for many to most women. So when they do want children there is mostly a rational consideration rather than an instinctual desire. I don't think many men walk around with the urge to conceive.
.

yeah they do...its called their sex drives...

 

[rosac]

Yeah I can agree with this. I generally prefer white, more athletic girls with dark hair but also got with asians (Both Japanese and Chinese), curvier girls, blondes, redheads.

For a girlfriend, personality and not being cray-cray is the main selling points. For one-offs, physical attractiveness is probably top.

EDIT:

I'm not sure if it's something women necessarily love as much as it's weird societal expectations.

I mean, my grandma pities very loudly tall women because they 'can't find a man'.
Not because they aren't attractive, but because a woman being taller is 'inappropriate'.

I know two very tall girls (well, one is naturally like 6'3" and the other is 5'11"ish and wears heels) and they are very uncomfortable with their height, often ducking or kneeling down slightly when in pictures with their friends.

If It's a picture on their own/selfie they stand up straight, and they're (In my humble opinion, although this could be due to my tastes outlined above, i.e. one is blonde and athletic, the other is brunette) very good looking, one of them is a model for christs sake! If they wanted to, they could catch the attention of any (single) guy they liked.

Just goes to show how social expectations can affect people's confidence really.

 

[Cette]

Mmh. I can't say for sure, since I don't know how many unwanted advances I'd have had if I was a male.

But I think... if there's guys out there who'd date someone only because she has a vagina, then there must be women out there who'd date someone only because he has a wiener. So... isn't it an equal ratio for both genders, if you really just want someone, anyone, to have sex with you?

Not a scientific study here but most women I know with varying levels of attractiveness complain about consistent unwelcome advances from men. Sometimes on as high as a daily basis.

As a middle of the road looking guy at best I've been hit on by usually fairly unappealing women on maybe a once every three months basis. And even then they're a hell of a lot more reserved in how they play their hand.

Though that may come down more to standards about who's supposed to approach who. Maybe some of those guys hit on everything that moves because it works based of getting hits off equally unselecting women.

Plus add in variances for some women's reaction to a given advance changing based on when in the month it's delivered. Men tend to be pretty consistent in desire across the board.

Not sure on how much that last one factors in on average but I know a few women who oscillate between chaste and humping nearby legs based hormonal state and I figure it's gotta be accounted for.

 

[endtherapture]

I find loads of different girls attractive - curvy and voluptuous, but also skinny. As a small guy there's obviously a maximum weight I will go for, and "fat" girls I just simply can't find attractive, no matter how hard I try.

The type of girl I find attractive and tend to go for is short and slim generally. That's just how it always pans out.

Pic attached just for jokes:

 

[pearcinator]

"as long as you weren't extremely skinny"

Fuck. That's me. I find it really hard to put on weight, all you see is weight-loss shit and how to burn the fat away but nothing for how to actually put on and maintain weight. Over the past few months I have been going to the gym regularly and consuming protein shakes and I have put on 3kg. From 50kg to 53kg. It's slow but I am making some progress at least but fatter people can lose 3kg a lot faster.

I think women find tall men far more attractive. I am only 5' 7" and rarely ever get hit on. Especially if I'm with my mates who are much taller than I. I don't think I am ugly though, I am just shy and don't really approach girls that much. I also think women find 'gym junkie' muscle-men UN-attractive, much better to look fit with defined muscles than look like a tree-trunk. I think women find abs attractive but don't really mind if there isn't any abs on their partners.

As for what I like in women;

Narrow waist, wide hips and bust (hourglass shape) is perfection but I don't mind if there's some imbalance or if it's not really profound. I don't really like fat bellies though (i.e. the opposite: thin hips/bust, wide waist)

I am a sucker for long dark hair, blonde is also hot too. I don't get all the fuss about red hair though, it's meh.

Their eyes can be any damn colour. They are all hot. Brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, doesn't matter.

I like peachy bums (girls that do squats) but it's not a requirement. Just adds to their attractiveness.

Breasts can be any size, I don't care as long as there's something to hold/cup (not completely flat). I don't care if they are fake or not (prefer natural but fake breasts do have a nice shape).

I am a sucker for a nice smile, cute, sexy, nerdy, dorky it doesn't matter. As long as the teeth are straight and not rotting away you should smile

I looooooooove classy British accents (Emma Watson for example). The only accents that are a bit of a put-off for me is the American accent but I can manage as long as it's not the southern Texan drawl. They make women sound plain dumb.

I most of all like women who seem to show at least a little honest interest in me or what I do. I can tell when you don't care so don't pretend that you do.

-

P.S
Who wouldn't find Yvonne Strahovsky unbelievably hot?

 

[Strazdas]

Case in point: me. I have a preference for white skin, big tits, dark hair and blue eyes. A reasonable level of bodyfat is also desired. Despite that fact, I find all these women to be extremely beautiful:
snipppity snip.

Reasonable level of bodyfat? are those images supposed to represent that? all i see are healthy woman, unlike the many "ideal" acresses who look starving rather than sexy.

Thing is what i think acellerated this is the advertisement industry. For example look how advertisement changed this woman: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U

Since this is standart practice in advertisement, if often sets unrealistic expectation from people, both in desires and especially in what they think other desire.

What i too found in reality is that there are all kinds of people with all kinds of preference, except noone likes me but lets not go emo in here.

As far as your preferences go, i once said i am not physically attracted to black woman and was called racist here, so you may very well be called out on it. though honestly its not so much race for me, i find many europeans as "too dark" for my taste too.

What I can't understand is why it's acceptable for a guy to be overweight/obese and still be attractive. I always figured that people like that for the most part were slobs, and didn't care about their overall health.

It is perfectly possible to be overweight and completely healthy. For example me. Just because somone has more than your imagined ideal weight does not automatically make them unhealthy slobs.

Really, I'm appalled by how many guys seem to think that a woman can easily find a sex partner just by virtue of being a woman. I find it very offensive and a sad excuse for men to think women "have it easier". ("That woman didn't choose me only because she can have all the men she wants! It's not because she doesn't like me!")

I would not say that woman have it easy or anything, but i do think they have it easier. This is for multitude of reasons. Firstly, the attractive body parts of female are genetically determined meanwhile males have to work for them (were talking looks here, not attitudes). Secondly, our whole culture is surounded around the misconception of "man has to make the first move" and the whole stupidity of "man has many gf = cool, female has many BF = bad.

Any good looking woman CAN enter a bar and find a sex partner. A good looking man will not. I am not saying that she will find a person she likes, merely "anyone to have sex with".

Also woman have it easlier on dating sites due to the user ratios. According to statistics females are ~10% of dating site userbases, which means they have much more men to pick from, whereas for a man to be even noticed/responded he has to stand out.

This often leads to good looking men "Taking" even the average looking women, leaving nothing for the rest due to unbalanced ratios of users.

And yes, that woman didnt choose me because she didnt like me, but hey at least she had something to chose from.

 

[Phasmal]

I do think that people often think that others standards are higher than they are. Besides, everyone wants to think themselves as not shallow, so even those with pretty tight or high standards are less likely to admit them.
And sometimes your own standards can surprise you. There can be certain looks or body types you wouldn't think you were into until you meet someone who turns your view upside down.

Personally I'm into skinny guys with a hint of definition to the muscles. Generally, I like the skinny-nerd type.

Firstly, the attractive body parts of female are genetically determined meanwhile males have to work for them (were talking looks here, not attitudes).

Are you literally only talking about boobs here? Cause you could say the same thing about dicks.
Besides, last time I checked- the ladies work pretty hard on their looks.

 

[Vegosiux]

I'm going to pick the very cynical position of "We mostly set standards high not because of our preferences but because we're so insecure about what people will think about us if they see us with that person."

Out of the girls I've dated and/or slept with in my life, I couldn't say any one of them was a "10/10" in the colloquial meaning of the extression. But that's perfectly fine, because they were my girlfriends/bedmates, not my trophies, and time spent with them was at least 8/10 (it's not all flowers and sunshine all the time).

Now, if I'd had my knickers in a twist over "OMG WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY IF THEY FIND OUT I SLEPT WITH HER", I think I'd still be a virgin.

 

[Cette]

Not a scientific study here but most women I know with varying levels of attractiveness complain about consistent unwelcome advances from men. Sometimes on as high as a daily basis.

DAILY basis? What job do they do, to be hit on by a different creep DAILY? XD

Here's the thing: you're not a woman, you just have to go with what a woman you know decides to tell you. Keep that in mind....

As a middle of the road looking guy at best I've been hit on by usually fairly unappealing women on maybe a once every three months basis. And even then they're a hell of a lot more reserved in how they play their hand.

Once every three months? It's just slightly less than me, so you see: males and females have it equal. As you can see, the myth that women get more pursuers is just a myth.

The big difference being that women do not aggressively try to flirt with you, making you scared of potential rape. If you're walking home at night and a woman approaches you, you're not worried she might become aggressive in her advances.

Plus add in variances for some women's reaction to a given advance changing based on when in the month it's delivered. Men tend to be pretty consistent in desire across the board.

Not sure on how much that last one factors in on average but I know a few women who oscillate between chaste and humping nearby legs based hormonal state and I figure it's gotta be accounted for.

Woah, woah.
It's true that we're animals and I'm the first to say that our mood and personality is influenced by chemicals and all that.

But oscillating between humping legs and chaste based on hormonal state of the month??? No, that's not how it works. You have a very strange friend, who gets hit on by a different creep every day and who turns from nun to sex freak depending on her period....

Gas station clerk would be the job. We deal with perhaps a larger volume of less than classy people who often aren't in a big hurry to get out and move on with their day than you would in some professions. Also it's not just what I hear reported. I do get to witness some of it with overlap shifts. Probably not a coincidence that it's mostly dudes who work third shift here as the creep factors goes up another oh 70% when the sun goes down.


Also these aren't all things about one person. Believe it or not I am socially acquainted with a large variety of women. And I'll give you there's only one who's as extreme as what was stated on the hormones thing. But I know at least one other who the status there determines her chance of saying "close enough."

I'll also give you that men when they go the unwelcome flirting direction do have a habit of coming off more "rapey" than most women do. Though I have had at least two cases albeit spread out over 15 or so years were I felt I was somewhat likely to end up with a "red touch" if I didn't keeps my distance properly. Of course that's more just super awkward than legitimately frightening.


Anyway I'm just working of anecdotal evidence and personal life experience here. If the trends I've noticed don't hold up for the majority then frankly I'm happy for them because it seems to be kind of an ugly scene sometimes.


Wandering back onto the topic of the actual thread now.

Yes people are attracted to a larger variety of traits than conventional beauty standards let on. Some of it being marketing based social constructs and some of it being that there's a certain type of generic attractive that's likely to ping on the highest percentage of the general public.

I like curves and big eastern european noses for example but I'm not expecting either of those to be catered to by the mass media anytime soon.

And you even get the cases where the physicality doesn't line up at all with what you like normally but there's just kind of a spark of attraction there based of some mix of personality and the vibes a person gives off.

How you'd quantify that for the masses I have no idea.

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

"as long as you weren't extremely skinny"

Fuck. That's me.

It's also my best friend and former roommate, who not only is extremely skinny (he's 6 foot 2 and weighs 125 pounds. You can literally see his heart beating behind his ribs), but is also quite nerdy and awkward. And he still managed to nail about nine different women last year. Including at least one who was really, really attractive (by most standards, at least).

Whether you want to be a "man about town" so to speak, or settle down with one great girl, it'll happen if you try. Even I found someone, and I was virgin until I was 25.

 

[Stasisesque]

The main issue is that people act like the media represents certain characteristics as the only things that attract both genders. Its extremely innaccurate, but ironically certain feminists, fat men and women, and some skinny girls have a habit of actually missing the point. They assume this IS the case. And also women have a habit of thinking that men only like good looking women, when personality can make someone appear more beautiful to a person.

My girlfriend is chubby and has large breasts. I prefer skinny and small breasts. But she has a brilliant personality, and as I got to know her better, she appeared more attractive while those 'negatives' were actually getting worse.


Basically, anyone whos actually been in a relationship understands that stigmas are bullshit and simply don't exist, and the ones that don't are lonely virgins or people who have shitty personalities and only attract those that want attractive and thats it.

While I see what you are trying to say, the way you've phrased it is ridiculous.

No, the image of beauty that the media presents is not going to appeal to everyone but you're missing the point on why "certain feminists, fat men and women and some skinny girls" find the ideals presented unrealistic and borderline offensive. Women (men too, but women especially) are not represented properly in the media - check a few posts before yours and you'll see evidence of this. They're coiffed, made up and photoshopped to hell and back, the end result barely even comes close to how the woman looks in real life. It's these things that offend and even lead to serious body dysmorphia.

We (again, men and women) are told on a daily basis that this is beauty and if you do not look like this you are not beautiful. Women have the added insult of historically being considered less worthy if they did not meet certain standards. It certainly is not just "lonely virgins or people who have shitty personalities" who find themselves feeling unattractive or even worthless to the opposite/same sex.

I've always been lucky in love/sex, but that doesn't preclude me from occasionally wishing I were taller, or thinner, or curvier, or blonde, or brunette, or tanned, or pale depending on what the media is telling me is beautiful at the time. When adverts tell you not to worry, the latest beauty product is here to "hide those dark circles or unsightly blemishes" or "get that bikini body" or "turn heads with X" eventually you do start to think that you'll only be attractive (and thus worthy of love/sex) if you start camouflaging your natural looks.