Please help me. (Ugh, relationship)

[nunqual]

My girlfriend is in a lot of pain, something to do with the tendon in her leg. The point is, I could tell she was in a sour mood all day, which kind of made me have a sour mood. I started to talk to her about it, and then she said, "I'm not even gonna talk to anyone about it anymore. It's obvious your mood has really been unhappy. I will just pretend I'm happy, like every other time I've been in pain. There."

I have no idea what is happening. I am truly concerned about her, but I feel I should keep my distance. Please tell me what to do.

 

[Geekosaurus]

Let her be. With her pain.

 

[Ekonk]

Don't keep your distance. It's not natural for her to pretend she's happy. Can't be healthy.

 

[7moreDead_v1legacy]

She's just pissy cause of the pain it'll pass.

 

[rileyrulesu]

Leave her alone for a while, try not to be too clingy.
wait until she feels a little better at least.

 

[spartan231490]

She's in pain, she's gonna lash out, just apologize and give her space. She'll get over it.

 

[the_bearpelt]

Okay, depending on how she usually is, this is typically a woman's sign that she wants her man to SHOW HER that he cares because she feels ignored somehow. It sounds like she's going to be stubborn about this, so I recommend just doing something nice for her. Buy her a box of chocolates or something sweet like that; something she'd like. It has to be something you DO, though; you can't just SAY something. The idea is to show that you actually went out and bought her something because you care.
Also, don't apologize unless you know what you're apologizing for. It'll just irritate her.
If this is the only time she says this, you might want to ignore it. But if she says it twice or more, that means she wants you to show her you care.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

Here's your problem, it sounds like instead of voicing your sympathy for her pain, you voiced the displeasure her pain was causing you. That's relationships 101 by the way. When she makes you happy, you tell her, but when she puts you in a bad mood, you shut the hell up about it. You may have been trying to express sympathy by talking about how her feeling bad made you feel bad, but by saying it that way, you're making it egocentric, the implicit statement is "I'm feeling bad, and it's your fault because you feel bad" instead of what you want which is "I wish you didn't feel bad".

That is to say that when your girlfriend is in pain, don't focus on how it makes you feel, focus on how she feels and how you can help her feel better. Leave yourself out of the equation.

As for this time, it's probably just best to let it blow over, just be more careful about it in the future. Stuff like that may not be a big deal once or twice, but it's the little things that add up.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I know how she feels, I have crippling pains in my joints (right now actually >_<) and I sometimes get in a mood with my boyfriend over it.
I don't mean to and neither does she, it's the pain talking.
Has she seen a doctor about it?
Your best bet is to tell her you'll be her slave for the day, haha. That's what my fella does anyway, he'll scoot off to get me some paracetamol or rub heat rub into my joints or make me a hot water bottle.
Make her a cuppa and get her to lay down, you'll be helping without being too clingy. Really though, she should get to a doctor.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

Don't keep your distance. It's not natural for her to pretend she's happy. Can't be healthy.

I agree let her simmer abit, let her leg heal up a tad. Then talk to her about it.

 

[freedomweasel]

To paraphrase the office: I crushed up 4 extra strength tylenol and put it in his pudding.

Seriously, if it hurts that much go to the doctor or take some tylenol/asprin/naproxen.

Also, try not to let her mood change yours so much.

 

[nunqual]

Here's your problem, it sounds like instead of voicing your sympathy for her pain, you voiced the displeasure her pain was causing you. That's relationships 101 by the way. When she makes you happy, you tell her, but when she puts you in a bad mood, you shut the hell up about it. You may have been trying to express sympathy by talking about how her feeling bad made you feel bad, but by saying it that way, you're making it egocentric, the implicit statement is "I'm feeling bad, and it's your fault because you feel bad" instead of what you want which is "I wish you didn't feel bad".

That is to say that when your girlfriend is in pain, don't focus on how it makes you feel, focus on how she feels and how you can help her feel better. Leave yourself out of the equation.

As for this time, it's probably just best to let it blow over, just be more careful about it in the future. Stuff like that may not be a big deal once or twice, but it's the little things that add up.

To clarify, I never talked about myself once. She kept saying that she didn't want to make me feel bad or make me upset by talking about it. I told her that she shouldn't worry about me.

 

[the_bearpelt]

Mmm, I keep reading people saying that you should let her simmer, but I really think that's not the direction you should go.
She obviously wants you to take care of her a little because of how she said it.

I know how she feels, I have crippling pains in my joints (right now actually >_<) and I sometimes get in a mood with my boyfriend over it.
I don't mean to and neither does she, it's the pain talking.
Has she seen a doctor about it?
Your best bet is to tell her you'll be her slave for the day, haha. That's what my fella does anyway, he'll scoot off to get me some paracetamol or rub heat rub into my joints or make me a hot water bottle.
Make her a cuppa and get her to lay down, you'll be helping without being too clingy. Really though, she should get to a doctor.

I fully agree with this. This is what you should do. Don't be pushy about it, but care for her a little bit.
If I was in pain, I would definitely want my boyfriend to come over and help me with it and try to make me feel better.
By coming over and trying to help alleviate the pain, you're SHOWING her that you feel for her rather than SAYING it. Showing is almost always more effective than just saying.

 

[Legion]

Try and help her so she doesn't need to use her leg, offer to do things so she doesn't have to.

Basically just try and make her life easier for while she is in pain and try and be understanding about it.

Yes, she will get snappy at times, but unless she is always like this then it's just the pain talking so try not to get moody with her in return.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

Here's your problem, it sounds like instead of voicing your sympathy for her pain, you voiced the displeasure her pain was causing you. That's relationships 101 by the way. When she makes you happy, you tell her, but when she puts you in a bad mood, you shut the hell up about it. You may have been trying to express sympathy by talking about how her feeling bad made you feel bad, but by saying it that way, you're making it egocentric, the implicit statement is "I'm feeling bad, and it's your fault because you feel bad" instead of what you want which is "I wish you didn't feel bad".

That is to say that when your girlfriend is in pain, don't focus on how it makes you feel, focus on how she feels and how you can help her feel better. Leave yourself out of the equation.

As for this time, it's probably just best to let it blow over, just be more careful about it in the future. Stuff like that may not be a big deal once or twice, but it's the little things that add up.

To clarify, I never talked about myself once. She kept saying that she didn't want to make me feel bad or make me upset by talking about it. I told her that she shouldn't worry about me.

The fact that you identified yourself as being in a bad mood, even if you didn't verbally express it, is enough. Especially where mood is concerned, we communicate a lot more with our bodies than we do verbally, even if we don't mean to. And if she noticed it, then you were communicating that you were in a bad mood. What you want to communicate is that you're in a sympathetic mood.

A good way to do that is that instead of focusing on things that the two of you can't do as a result of her being in pain, focus on things that you can do together that will take her mind off the pain and allow both of you to have some fun.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Wordlessly give her tylenol (or generic pain killer) and a glass of water. Then just stare at her or read a book until she gets over it. Believe me, she wants your company. She'll thank you and apologize for lashing out at you later.

 

[harv3034]

You might be asking the wrong group of people for relationship advise

 

[TeeBs]

Donate your tendon.
WHAT COULD WRONG!

 

[Bruin]

Reverse psychology.

Don't listen to the majority of people who are saying stay away.

She'll use it against you down the road.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

My girlfriend is in a lot of pain, something to do with the tendon in her leg. The point is, I could tell she was in a sour mood all day, which kind of made me have a sour mood. I started to talk to her about it, and then she said, "I'm not even gonna talk to anyone about it anymore. It's obvious your mood has really been unhappy. I will just pretend I'm happy, like every other time I've been in pain. There."

I have no idea what is happening. I am truly concerned about her, but I feel I should keep my distance. Please tell me what to do.

Let her know that you're simply upset because you don't like to see her unhappy, and that you're there for her if she needs you. Don't keep too much distance. Pretending you're happy is... bad (as I was ninja'd in this). Just let her know you care