Please help me. (Ugh, relationship)

[nunqual]

You might be asking the wrong group of people for relationship advise

Yeah, I know haha. But at the time I was very distressed and confused.

 

[SimuLord]

She's in pain, she's gonna lash out, just apologize and give her space. She'll get over it.

Pretty much this. She's probably up to her ears in people offering to "help" and a bunch of false empathy. She'll be fine when the pain passes. She doesn't want to dump it on you.

 

[TeeBs]

what happened to painkillers?

They must not work on me because when I take em nothing changes

 

[Baby Tea]

I have no idea what is happening. I am truly concerned about her, but I feel I should keep my distance. Please tell me what to do.

As a man who has been married for not even 3 years, let me tell you what I've learned in that time:

Remember this is based on my marriage, and I know all girls are different.
Now then...

Women who are in a degree of uncomfortable, yet bearable, pain get irritable. You've found this out already.
What they don't want is you to try and be the knight in shining armor to remove all pain when it's impossible for you to do so. Since you aren't a physiotherapist, I'm assuming you have no idea how to help her with her leg. So don't offer advice on the leg. Just don't.

That being said, that doesn't mean you can't be a helpful gentleman. A simple 'Can I get you anything?', or going to get things she needs, or whatever is fine. Don't ham it up, just be normal. You are concerned for her, so you don't have t play it up like a big deal.

And don't be grumpy because she's grumpy. She has a reason to be grumpy. Her leg freaking hurts. You don't have a reason to be grumpy. She's upset and annoyed with her stupid hurting leg, don't make her irritable by acting irritable because she's irritable. Read that last sentence again. If she's grumpy, remind yourself her leg is in pain and ignore and snappy remarks. She doesn't mean it. It's the leg.

Also: Apologize for being grumpy before. Say you were insensitive, and that you just want her to feel better. This is a good time to throw in that 'can I get you anything?' question.

Finally: Put up with all her complaining about her leg. She doesn't want advice on it, she doesn't want your opinion (Unless she expressly asks for it). She wants to vent to someone, and that is your job buck-o. Listen (actually listen), offer sympathy when appropriate, and suck it up if she gets snappy.

And the next time you see her, the first thing you ask is 'How's your leg?'.
As the boyfriend, you care. So ask like it.

There, that's all I've got.
Hope it helps.

 

[alerriixx]

You might be asking the wrong group of people for relationship advise

Yeah, I know haha. But at the time I was very distressed and confused.

Why is he? I'm honestly confused at that?

 

[Zyphonee]

Well, if she says she's just gonna hide it like every other time she's felt pain, maybe you have a bigger problem there.

 

[Gurk]

The majority of females constantly give their partners 'tests'. This is probably one of them. Stay put, then she won't have anything to complain about later.

 

[SimuLord]

Good gods, Baby Tea. Can I put ten bucks down on you and the wife lasting a very long time in a loving marriage?

I was married for five years---I am married no longer. You're a better man than I.

 

[Imp Poster]

Women who are in a degree of uncomfortable, yet bearable, pain get irritable. You've found this out already.
What they don't want is you to try and be the knight in shining armor to remove all pain when it's impossible for you to do so. Since you aren't a physiotherapist, I'm assuming you have no idea how to help her with her leg. So don't offer advice on the leg. Just don't.

That being said, that doesn't mean you can't be a helpful gentleman. A simple 'Can I get you anything?', or going to get things she needs, or whatever is fine. Don't ham it up, just be normal. You are concerned for her, so you don't have t play it up like a big deal.

And don't be grumpy because she's grumpy. She has a reason to be grumpy. Her leg freaking hurts. You don't have a reason to be grumpy. She's upset and annoyed with her stupid hurting leg, don't make her irritable by acting irritable because she's irritable. Read that last sentence again. If she's grumpy, remind yourself her leg is in pain and ignore and snappy remarks. She doesn't mean it. It's the leg.

Also: Apologize for being grumpy before. Say you were insensitive, and that you just want her to feel better. This is a good time to throw in that 'can I get you anything?' question.

Finally: Put up with all her complaining about her leg. She doesn't want advice on it, she doesn't want your opinion (Unless she expressly asks for it). She wants to vent to someone, and that is your job buck-o. Listen (actually listen), offer sympathy when appropriate, and suck it up if she gets snappy.

And the next time you see her, the first thing you ask is 'How's your leg?'.
As the boyfriend, you care. So ask like it.

There, that's all I've got.
Hope it helps.

I concur with this.

EDIT:

Good gods, Baby Tea. Can I put ten bucks down on you and the wife lasting a very long time in a loving marriage?

I was married for five years---I am married no longer. You're a better man than I.

Let me rephrase that, I concur (Baby Tea's statement), IF you love her.

 

[DP155ToneZone]

I love it how all the guys in this thread are saying, "Leave her alone".

Yet all the girls are saying, "She wants you to take care of her; don't leave her alone".

Who you going to listen to?

 

[EmzOLV]

I love it how all the guys in this thread are saying, "Leave her alone".

Yet all the girls are saying, "She wants you to take care of her; don't leave her alone".

Who you going to listen to?

THIS.
I agree with every other girl saying to pay attention to her and don't leave her alone.
I've even pulled this one on an old boyfriend before - I'm not entirely sure why and it was years ago, I've managed to get out of the 'game' part of this and into just being straight up honest, saves so much time. But either way, I'd done it because I kinda wanted more attention at the time.