Please help me.

[Mr S]

Sorry I'm such a pain in the ass btw.

You're not a pain in the ass. This is something I can't really give too much advice with as I don't know you or the lucky girl in question personally.

Thanks for that, that actually boosted my confidence in me a little
I like it that at the Escapist there are always people willing to listen to you and to help you out. That's nice.

 

[Owlslayer]

Well i have to say i was kinda in you position last year...
One day, our table-partners in school got mixed, and i ended up with a girl i had never spoken with in 3 years, even though we were in the same class. And when i looked at her , i noticed a certain anime figure keyring thingy hanging from her bag. And i started to speak with her how i liked that anime, too. And to my surprise, we had a lot in common. But that chat was all that happened last year at school. But i stared to notice her during classes, and started to like her.

During the summer i started to think that i should man up and ask her out during the final school-year. Mind you, i am always really nervous when talking to other people (seriously, you have no idea), so i was pretty sure i couldn't do it.
What saved me, you might ask?

An e-mail. Jesus Christ did i not expect that. She invited ME to meet up. I was damn shocked that a girl would actually be that interested in me!

So what I'm trying to say is: don't wait, the chances of what happened to me to happen are really small ( i think). Man up, and do what others posted here. Well, not everything, but things you think are reasonable.

Also, yay for my first relationship thread post. I am a total novice in these things, so don't ask me anything!

 

[Mr S]

Ask her to go see a film with you. Just the 2 of you though Depending on how you ask it, she will know what you mean. Thats how I did it and now Im engaged to said lady-friend for 3 years

Try not to act all cool about it though and you will get along just fine

Actually, fuck all everybody said...Watch Hitch
If you want dating tips then take 'em from the Fresh Prince

You go in 90% of the way for the kiss...If she likes you then she will go the other 10%

Hahaha, even though I liked the movie, I don't think she'd appreciate if I didn't go for the full 150%. I think she'd be put off by that.

 

[Canid117]

How about you just ask her out on a date?

 

[The Man With the Soap]

Stop whining about it and do something!

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Okay here's what's up. I'm a virgin, have never had a girlfriend before and I've never gone out on a date before.

Now we've got that out of the way, I'm gonna need some advice.
There's this girl I really like at my school, but I don't think that she thinks of me as someone who likes here.
She probably just sees me as some weird guy she talks to, has some fun with.
She is very pretty, I know of at least one other guy who likes her, and she has sort of a dark humor.
She likes it when people trip and stuff so she can point and laugh. That makes her sound like a ***** doesn't it?
Well she's not.

Please anyone? This plea for help especially goes out to the women/girls at the escapist since in my experience, guys mostly say: JUST F****NG KISS HER!!! SHE'LL GET THE MESSAGE!

Don't bother laughing at me, this was a last resort, I've been laughed at before.

Okay mate sit down. Your me. For lack of a better phrase. Your me last year. Thats when my attitude was weird. You know how i think now? I think if i like someone id rather just tell em straight out than wonder what if. Hell my friend broke up with her dbag boyfriend 5 days ago and i just went up to her yesterday and came right out with "i completely wanna be your boyfriend" because ya know, why the hell not? If i like a girl i go up right away and announce my feelings. Whats the worst that could happen? I dont fear rejection and i dont care what happens as long as we are friends or a couple at the end. Im never awkward about these things and right now everythings going great, even if she didnt gimme an answer yet.

You know what? Im not even some popular jock who does this anyway, im the guy usually overshadowed, but this seems to be working great, cus she invited herself over yesterday and she had a good time. I almost kissed her but thought better of it, shes still sad about her old boyfriend, its wrong to be too forcefull.

Dont kiss her, if your wrong then it could end badly. Never take a gamble your not willing to lose. Instead just say, as casually as you like, "by the way, i think your amazing, i think it would be cool if we dated to see if we work and stuff..." pretty much exactly what i said. It isnt too bad when you actually do it and its LIBERATING. SO SO LIBERATING. Cast off your notions of "no is the end of the world", stop caring about rejection, START THINKING "iether way i havnt lost anything" and do whatever the hell might make you happy. Seriously, NEVER EVER EVER EVER have a "what if i..." moment. Do. Everything. Never let a moment pass you by without making it reach its full potential.

The only rules of life are those you make for yourself. Break some. Make them your own. You can do whatever you want and say whatever you want if you think its right, i mean seriously whats the WORST that could happen. Remember this is a gamble, be prepared to lose, be prepared to not be awkward around her and let everything slide under the brigde if it turns out to be nothing.

 

[Gudrests]

OMG you are me i have the same problem :O

nice to know I'm not the only one niege

just remember ...you are NEVER the only one...this is a planet of about ...what are we at now 9billion but in my adivce..take it slow...alone time with her is GODLIKE...you can do whatever you want when you too are alone..and remember the worst that happens if she says no...is she says no. THATS IT...ive never met a girl that will laugh at you and go HELL NO. (minus Ghetto girls but you better not be talking about one of them....seriously) and remember...you were living before she came along..so if it comes down to its worst..you CAN live without her...try and learn from her..that and GO GET HER BUDDY's and remember....dont grab her boobies too quickly..she might not like that (if this works BOTH of you have to name your first kid GUDRESTS...yes in all caps)

 

[Mr S]

OMG you are me i have the same problem :O

nice to know I'm not the only one niege

just remember ...you are NEVER the only one...this is a planet of about ...what are we at now 9billion but in my adivce..take it slow...alone time with her is GODLIKE...you can do whatever you want when you too are alone..and remember the worst that happens if she says no...is she says no. THATS IT...ive never met a girl that will laugh at you and go HELL NO. (minus Ghetto girls but you better not be talking about one of them....seriously) and remember...you were living before she came along..so if it comes down to its worst..you CAN live without her...try and learn from her..that and GO GET HER BUDDY's and remember....dont grab her boobies too quickly..she might not like that (if this works BOTH of you have to name your first kid GUDRESTS...yes in all caps)

I solemly swear that will be the childs second name.

 

[feeback06]

I'm going to assume your still in high school, so I'll share something I've learned. You can try to make a move on this girl and hopefully it'll work, but if it doesn't you have got to move on. I know it's hard to understand now, but high school is NOT the end of the world.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Okay here's what's up. I'm a virgin, have never had a girlfriend before and I've never gone out on a date before.

Now we've got that out of the way, I'm gonna need some advice.
There's this girl I really like at my school, but I don't think that she thinks of me as someone who likes here.
She probably just sees me as some weird guy she talks to, has some fun with.
She is very pretty, I know of at least one other guy who likes her, and she has sort of a dark humor.

I see alot of people are giving you all the wrong ideas, as a veteran of being turned down let me just share what doesn't fly
- just tell her how you feel (never ever has a girl been with me after I spilled my hearth, and I did it alot because people advised me so...)
- just be around her (that does nothing, you will just end up stuck as the friend, and that is the worst position you could ever be in)
- just be yourself (ya the good old one, trust me this is a recipe for disaster, you "yourself" are probably a nice guy that always end up as the friend, and wanting more from a girl will prompt the "I just want to stay fiends" line, so can you spot the problem there? )

And what you need to know is:
- none of it is a big deal, rinse and repeat that until it sinks in (if she turns you down, so be it, not a big deal, you move on)
- which brings us to confidence (girls want it, they will look for it, and you need to have it, even if you're not really that confident convince yourself you are, and sooner or later it really won't be a big deal and you will be confident)
- take action (girls may come talk to you but they always wait for the guy to take action, always remember that, you make the move and she responds, she may surprise you sometimes, but never wait for her to do so, you are the prime mover... so to speak )
- be serious (don't put asking her out down as a joke, or bring a friend to the date to make it easy, don't ever do that, you say what you say and do what you do)

Now if you can do all that, let's get on to your current issue.
It is dead simple, Ask Her Out, on a date(make sure you are serious about it and that she understands it's a proper date), pick something she would enjoy and take her there (no fiends, no BS, proper date).
And when I say "dead simple", I mean it will be the hardest thing ever, but pull yourself together, and whatever happens remember that it's not a big deal, ever.

 

[JokerCrowe]

Okay here's what's up. I'm a virgin, have never had a girlfriend before and I've never gone out on a date before.

Now we've got that out of the way, I'm gonna need some advice.
There's this girl...

Isn't there always? Ok. this is my advice. Since she knows you, go up to her and say this: "hey, you wanna go to a movie with me? I just got 2 tickets to [movie]"(preferably Inception). That is not really you asking her out, I mean you know her. But it might spark something inside her.

Just remember this: You're really the only one who knows her. So you can take advice from people on a Gaming site who don't know her. Or you can try to find out what she likes and then take her there. If you want some pretty good advice, take your question to the Relationship Problem Thread [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=1]. But My advice is that you ask her out.

I met a girl once who was just like you describe your girl. I asked her out and she shot me down. It hurt, but I got over her. The point I'm trying to get to is that it might hurt if she says no, but if she didn't like you for you... well she doesn't deserve you. And maybe you weren't such a good match after all. Plus if you ask her out you will gain "asking out" experience, and that will make it easier to ask girls out later. So it's basically a Win Win situation.

Ask her out.
/rant.

 

[RabbidKuriboh]

i was in pretty much the same situation there was a girl i liked for about 2 years, we were good friends and hung out a lot in school but she's like 4 times more antisocial than me so we hardly saw each other outside school, at my graduation party i had the perfect chance to tell her but one of my teachers came over drunk telling us how much he was going to miss us, after that her friends called her away and since that night(2nd of june)i've seen her like 3 times i still text her but i'm guessing i got friend zoned although she is just as shy and awkward as me.I missed my chance don't miss yours!

 

[Standby]

Just remember: You WILL screw this up, but don't forget to learn from it.

 

[Cat Cloud]

Also just walking up and kissing her is a great way to get slapped even in the US.quote]
This is very true. I don't know if this actually works where your from, but here it would be a very, very bad idea.

My advise is get know her as a person and a friend. Maybe hang out with her as a friend, and invite other people so it deosn't feel like a date. Just be yourself, have fun. Don't worry about being a virgin, especially if you aren't after her because you want to sleep with her. If she actually likes you back it shouldn't matter anyways.

 

[Gudrests]

OMG you are me i have the same problem :O

nice to know I'm not the only one niege

just remember ...you are NEVER the only one...this is a planet of about ...what are we at now 9billion but in my adivce..take it slow...alone time with her is GODLIKE...you can do whatever you want when you too are alone..and remember the worst that happens if she says no...is she says no. THATS IT...ive never met a girl that will laugh at you and go HELL NO. (minus Ghetto girls but you better not be talking about one of them....seriously) and remember...you were living before she came along..so if it comes down to its worst..you CAN live without her...try and learn from her..that and GO GET HER BUDDY's and remember....dont grab her boobies too quickly..she might not like that (if this works BOTH of you have to name your first kid GUDRESTS...yes in all caps)

I solemly swear that will be the childs second name.

...then PM me with the birth citificate...for i will bless him with holy (bottled)water....

 

[Mistermixmaster]

All right, since no one else said it yet, I'm gonna. There's this guy called BonsaiK around here, which is more or less the freakin' expert at anything in this zone. Seriously.

If I were you I'd ask him at his thread of awesome advice! [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=1] =D

If you'd want my advice though, I'd say that you should just tell her how you feel. I told a female friend of mine about how I felt, and we decided to start dating. Better to regret something you've done, than regret something you haven't, right? (that was my motivation at least, as those words (from our very own Furburt) "inspired" me)

EDIT: seems like I got ninja'd with the Relationship Problem Thread... goes to show ya that BonsaiK knows what he is talkin' about!

 

[gallaetha_matt]

Okay mate sit down. Your me. For lack of a better phrase. Your me last year. Thats when my attitude was weird. You know how i think now? I think if i like someone id rather just tell em straight out than wonder what if. Hell my friend broke up with her dbag boyfriend 5 days ago and i just went up to her yesterday and came right out with "i completely wanna be your boyfriend" because ya know, why the hell not? If i like a girl i go up right away and announce my feelings. Whats the worst that could happen? I dont fear rejection and i dont care what happens as long as we are friends or a couple at the end. Im never awkward about these things and right now everythings going great, even if she didnt gimme an answer yet.

You know what? Im not even some popular jock who does this anyway, im the guy usually overshadowed, but this seems to be working great, cus she invited herself over yesterday and she had a good time. I almost kissed her but thought better of it, shes still sad about her old boyfriend, its wrong to be too forcefull.

Dont kiss her, if your wrong then it could end badly. Never take a gamble your not willing to lose. Instead just say, as casually as you like, "by the way, i think your amazing, i think it would be cool if we dated to see if we work and stuff..." pretty much exactly what i said. It isnt too bad when you actually do it and its LIBERATING. SO SO LIBERATING. Cast off your notions of "no is the end of the world", stop caring about rejection, START THINKING "iether way i havnt lost anything" and do whatever the hell might make you happy. Seriously, NEVER EVER EVER EVER have a "what if i..." moment. Do. Everything. Never let a moment pass you by without making it reach its full potential.

The only rules of life are those you make for yourself. Break some. Make them your own. You can do whatever you want and say whatever you want if you think its right, i mean seriously whats the WORST that could happen. Remember this is a gamble, be prepared to lose, be prepared to not be awkward around her and let everything slide under the brigde if it turns out to be nothing.

This right here. This is the way to be.

I learned this lesson too recently and it really is amazing. Unfortunately to develop a resistance to rejection you need to get yourself rejected a few times first.

If this is the first girl you're interested in then it probably won't go your way. But don't be discouraged by that, by all means try and ask her out. A 1% chance of success is better than 0%, and it's a thousand times better than her calling the police.

I think the trick is, expect the worst but hope for the best. More importantly if she says no, comfort yourself knowing that you tried your best and move on with your life. No sense in getting hung up on someone that doesn't want you, right?

Go with the advice that a lot of the people have said on this thread. Ask her to do something at some time - movies are bad first dates though, they're obvious, you can't talk and if the movie sucks then the date can spiral out of control. I always think something during the day and non threatening, going to grab a coffee or some other such thing. You've only known the girl four weeks right? A good way to ask her might be saying that you think she's really cool and want to get to know her better.

If she says no, you know where you stand and you can safely move on to someone else. It might hurt for a while. No, actually it will. Be prepared for that. But if she was going to say no, then it was eventually going to hurt anyway, right? Might as well get all the crap out of the way early.

To summarise though, only you can know when the right time to act is. Ask her out when you feel the time is right.

Best of luck, anyway.

 

[Durgiun]

If you don't have muscles, get some. Go to a gym, take up rowing or something.
That's about all the advice I can give you that isn't generic or that doesn't depend on you finding out what works for you and your situation.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Dude, that last advice is terrible. You can't just kiss a girl and see how it goes, you'll gtet a bad reputation for that.

I say manipulate her mind. What you need to do is get her to depend on you emotionally, get real close to her, become her best friend. I suggest that you get in on her bitching or just general conversation, then ease you way into her circle of friends. Be careful to stay in your own though, you don't want to lose friends over something so small as a girl.[footnote]The best method for this would be to sit with your friends then go and talk to her when she looks a little left out, this'll work so well for you[/footnote] I also advise that you use instant messaging when you get closer, if she does that is.

The key thing is that you make her depend on you, without you depending on her. I've tested this way twice and it worked both times, it'll also increase the chance of you getting her back if something goes bad. If you use this method and it works tell me, it'll be another result for this method.

 

[mageroel]

I like dark humour too. I think you're talking about sadism. I don't think she's a *****, I laugh at that stuff too.

Just be yourself, find common ground, something to do together. And once you feel comfortable ask her out (to something...I'm not good at advice on that).

I'm in your situation too, but that's my only advice. I have only been rejected once and it was in a bad way because the girl was uncapable of just saying no or giving a real reason.

And if you don't have common ground and if you just get on really well, then hope is not lost.

I do happen to have advice for asking her out to somewhere/-thing: take her to a movie you know she likes (you can ask her before in a friend sort of way, just start talking about a movie you recently saw and she'll tell you, most likely) or you could always ask her to have lunch with you... and let her decide where you go to (idk how old you are but if you're around 18~20, just let her take you somewhere not restaurant-like but more like starbucks). Worked for me.