Pokemon, for real

[Dr. Doomsduck]

I'm an evil mastermind remember? You're legal system is without a doubt a slow and lengthy process, in that time I would have already set up my business. If any government opposes my business practices I will either take them down or a complete withdrawal from the nation, leading to the unconciousness of thousands of pokemon without a place to heal.
And don't you worry, new centers will NOT be popping up, I've got every machine, every name, patented. Anyone even try to make a pokemon center will be sued faster than they can say "gotta catch'em all!"

Also bribing pokemon to gain favour with poffins and
WE TEAM ZERO WILL STILL HAVE POKEBALLS,
WE SHALL NOT BE RESTRICTED BY YOUR PETTY MORALITY!
THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE
THIS IS WHY WE ARE NEEDED
WITHOUT US YOUR WORLD WILL FALL INTO CHAOS
YOU HAVE PROVED IT YOURSELF.

Sorry, I am now going in a religious extremist direction, everything you say will be countered by my faith in the almighty Pokémon Gods.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

 

[Keoul]

Sorry, I am now going in a religious extremist direction, everything you say will be countered by my faith in the almighty Pokémon Gods.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW POKÉMON OVERLORDS!!!

Well that can be easily fixed, you see, my people are creating thousands of masterballs as we speak.
We will capture your "Pokemon Gods"

I am your god now.

 

[Owen Robertson]

So imagine that you got into a fight with a midget that somehow found its way into a best buy during a lightning storm and just as you toss the midget into the 3DS display with the pokemon black and white 2 demo, lightning strikes the store and the interaction somehow opens a wormhole and all the pokemon from all the generations get released into our reality. all them, from numbers 1-650 or however high it is right now and along with it, all the items you could imagine, potions, pokeballs, for some reason pokeflutes, etc. In the ensuing chaos you manage to grab 5 pokeballs, a couple potions and a starter pokemon. What pokemon did you grab and what do you do now?

Captcha: Falling Pianos

All things considered Charizard is the most effective fully-evolved starter in real world isn't it? Fire-breathing, flying lizard? What are the rest? Plant dinosaur (Venusaur), Water-canon turtle (Blastoise), Fire porcupine (Typhlosion), crocodile (Feraligator), Plant giraffe/dog (Meganium), Mudskipper/Lungfish (Swampert), Big fucking Gecko (Sceptile), Fire chicken (Blaziken), Plant tortoise (Torterra), Ice Penguin (Empoleon), Fire Monkey (Infernape), Grass Snake (Serperior), Fire Warthog (Emboar), and Otter (Samurott).

Of all the animals in the list flying lizard, dinosaur, and Giraffe/Dog seem the most outrageous.

 

[shadowstriker86]

All things considered Charizard is the most effective fully-evolved starter in real world isn't it? Fire-breathing, flying lizard? What are the rest? Plant dinosaur (Venusaur), Water-canon turtle (Blastoise), Fire porcupine (Typhlosion), crocodile (Feraligator), Plant giraffe/dog (Meganium), Mudskipper/Lungfish (Swampert), Big fucking Gecko (Sceptile), Fire chicken (Blaziken), Plant tortoise (Torterra), Ice Penguin (Empoleon), Fire Monkey (Infernape), Grass Snake (Serperior), Fire Warthog (Emboar), and Otter (Samurott).

Of all the animals in the list flying lizard, dinosaur, and Giraffe/Dog seem the most outrageous.

That's funny i never thought of it like that, i usually just chose squirtle cause you know, it evolves into a giant turtle with water cannons on its back

 

[Tentaquil]

5 Arceuses (Arcei?). Because fuck everyone else. Reality itself will bend to my will

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

If I had to choose an actual designated starter, Charmander. Because pet dragon. After that it'd probably go something like:

Arcanine: The only pokemon I've used in every single game, he's pretty much mah fave. I imagine it'd be like having a pet lion that burns things.

Gengar: He's a ghost. That eats people's dreams. And has a giant evil smile.

Hydregion: Yes, another dragon. But this one has three heads.

Metagross: I don't know what exactly Metagross is, but he's damn cool. Also he's tough and smart.

Arceus: Because why would you not want motherfucking GOD on your side?


Then I'd go out hunting for ladies with my pokemon. Bitchez love pokemon.

 

[Owen Robertson]

That's funny i never thought of it like that, i usually just chose squirtle cause you know, it evolves into a giant turtle with water cannons on its back

Water Canons. Not Canon Canons. Those would be better in the real-world. Blastoise could help you refinish your deck. He's a power-washer.
I'm not trying to insult or downplay any of the pokemon (some of them do that on their own) but the starters are always weird, elemental animals. No Ghosts, no Dragons, no Dark, no Psychic. Those are where it's at. Gengar, Dragonite, Houndoom, Alakazam (I always named my Alakazam SHAZAM!) Even Bug types are more "out-there" like Scizzor. He's a flying mantis made of steel... All of my want.

 

[Owen Robertson]

If I had to choose an actual designated starter, Charmander. Because pet dragon. After that it'd probably go something like:

Arcanine: The only pokemon I've used in every single game, he's pretty much mah fave. I imagine it'd be like having a pet lion that burns things.

Gengar: He's a ghost. That eats people's dreams. And has a giant evil smile.

Hydregion: Yes, another dragon. But this one has three heads.

Metagross: I don't know what exactly Metagross is, but he's damn cool. Also he's tough and smart.

Arceus: Because why would you not want motherfucking GOD on your side?


Then I'd go out hunting for ladies with my pokemon. Bitchez love pokemon.

Arcanine is a dog, not a lion. Well he's based of a Korean mythological creature, I believe. Metagross is an Alien. He has to be. He knows Meteor Mash.

 

[Auron225]

Charmander - its supreme cuteness is enough reason, not even considering that it'll be a friggin Charizard one day that can fly me around and breathe fire! X)