Poll: Any Romantics out there?
- Thread starter jockslap
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Except he's right. Men and women play by different rules.Good morning blues said:
unless of course they're like me, who recognize the different rule sets and light it with a blowtorch. It's all bull-.
I didn't mean you should *treat* someone as if they are nothing but a piece of meat, and I DEFINITELY would not do that or advise others to do that either. I simply meant that enjoying your sexuality for enjoyment's sake is neither wrong nor cheap. Romance is something that makes you feel good, not a commitment or a set of rules.jockslap said:
I'm pretty sure that men with any sense of self-worth also move on to the next person when they find that the person they're with is a worthless sadsack who's only with them to pump up their own ego and avoid loneliness.ninjablu said:
If men and women play by different rules, it's because of a social expectation that they will do so. Anybody with more than two brain cells to rub together can get over that.
Works how? You get your dick wet and move on to the next one, both of you slightly more bitter for the experience? Enjoy that life, bro.avykins said:
Worse you can become the best male friend to who she'll compare every single of her boyfriends, but you'll never tap that, and while you're having all the qualities she's seemingly looking for, she'll always see you as asexual... Even if you're hung like George Zimmer...avykins said:
Once I decide that I actually love someone, then yes, I become a huge romantic. Until then, it's all just good fun. Go out to the movies, have a picnic under the stars, accompanying the person when they go shopping, surprising them with breakfast on their way to work, stuff like that. The problem is that there's only been two girls that I've ever really fallen in love with, seeing as I hold love to ridiculously high standards. I've been with someone for three months and was actually dumped because she said it to me and I wouldn't say it back. I'm not going to say it unless I mean what I feel the word love means for that person.
Hm...much longer post than I intended. Put spoiler tags to try to shorten it and keep it on topic, but I took the time to write it before realizing its rant-like off topicness. Sorry about that.
And also to Indigo: Didn't see you as that kind of person. I like your views though. Don't worry about becoming a "cuddlebitch", it rarely happens, though it seems like it does. It's an availability bias, plain and simple.
Society today "loves" everything! Ice cream, chocolate, candy, movies, videogames, you name it, people "love" it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with this piece of pie, I won't see it as magnificent, as beautiful tomorrow as I do today. I don't love the damn piece of pie. I like it, I find it delicious, I want it inside me (bad example), but I don't love it. Society has thrown around the word like it's a whore on a street corner. I still talk to one of my old girlfriends, and she tells me that I ruined the word for her. She hears her boyfriends tell her that they love her barely a week after dating her. She remembers how much I hesitated, how long I waited before telling her that (two-three months), and she will instantly dismiss any possibility that they are telling her the truth. She even gets somewhat angry, and has said more than once "stop it. You don't mean that". Love is the closest word we romantics have to describe the emotions we get about that special person, with our limited ability to convey emotion through words, STOP ABUSING IT! Okay, I'm done.
Hm...much longer post than I intended. Put spoiler tags to try to shorten it and keep it on topic, but I took the time to write it before realizing its rant-like off topicness. Sorry about that.
And also to Indigo: Didn't see you as that kind of person. I like your views though. Don't worry about becoming a "cuddlebitch", it rarely happens, though it seems like it does. It's an availability bias, plain and simple.
Yes they will, unless there is something else to have. "Fearing the devil they don't know, they kept the one on their backs" or something like that.Good morning blues said:
Unfrotunately, you're wrong about social expectations. Here's the way it breaks down.
Women categorize all men they meet into roughly three categories. These are "dateable", "befriendable" and "worthless." Assuming that the worthless will never be talked too again, the focus is on dateable and befriendable. And it's what guys don't get. A man can be the most chivalrous, considerate man in the world and find a woman he likes only to be categorized and as a good friend. But men don't understand this. They don't play this little categorization game and most of the time don't even know it's being played.
Those who are in the dateable category have a different set of hoops to play. Women want the best man there is, and will keep testing someone to see if they're "Good enough". This is where the ubiquitous "Does this make me look fat?" comes into play. The game is not so much about playing, so much as it is to see if the woman can manipulate and play the man they're interested in. If the man fails the test (which is either by a yes or no answer, in this case) then the woman is basically done with the man. Test failed, time to find someone else. If the man passes, they will test again. And again. And again.
Men don't get this thing about women, and the ones that do get it don't have trouble with dating. Or, again, they're like me. They see the game, the stuff women try to pull, and immediately walk away. I think I'm the only guy in the world to do that.
I can be, but I normally can't be bothered... In case you didn't know on the Deadly Sins thread, I voted sloth.
Its how I roll
Its how I roll
No, that is something that psychopaths do. Yes, women separate men into categories; men do the same thing. Look at all of your female acquaintances; there are some you'd date if you had the opportunity, some you'd fuck, some you'd only do the friend thing with, and some you'd prefer never to talk to again. Furthermore, if a man realizes that a woman is playing games with him, he will do one of three things: if he's that sort of person, he'll start his own mind games and they'll be happy fucking with each other into eternity; if he has any notable level of self-esteem, he'll move on; or, if he's just looking for a relationship so he can feel better about himself, he'll let her shit all over him until she gets sick of it.ninjablu said:
People are talking like men don't allow women to do shitty things to them.
Ninja, not all women do that. Not even the majority. Some do, and those are the ones that get around a lot, thus keeping the belief alive that the majority, if not all, women are like that. Guys play games too, we just don't see that because, well, we're the guys that don't. We don't see the games that happen with us as you say, how are we supposed to see the games happening to other people? Guy games are different. Guy games are more along the lines of trying to figure out whether or not this chick will sleep with the guy, and then whether or not he wants to keep her, or say "it was a one night thing, don't be mad we were both drunk". I know many guys personally that play these games. It hurts the girl that actually liked the guy and thought he liked her just as much as it hurts the guy that wants to be in the date zone but gets thrown into the friend zone repeatedly. The only difference is the girl gets to have sex before she's rejected, the guy doesn't, and then is expected to be a friend to the girl.
Ah the person I had been attempting to court let's say I had something nice and grand planned in order to reveal my affection, I never expected it to come to anything I just wanted to say it in a nice way. But after a month or two of delays I just rang her and sort of mumbled and stumbled it out. To be fair she hadn't long been out of a fairly long relationship and I don't care that nothing happened because of my actions I'm just glad I did it and so is she. I try to be elegant and grand if circumstances permit it but if I can't then I do my best.
Something may come of it and I very much hope so but if it doesn't then well I'm just glad I plucked up courage and got it out of the way.
She's very nice and smart and all that lark but terribly confusing at times, then again so are people generally.
I try my best which is a damn lot more than some other vagrants I know, all seems terribly unfair at times.
Still we endeavour.
Edit: Oh yeah, it wasn't a rejection it was more of a put off for now, maybe, 'kinda?' One can always hope but I can remain humble if needed.
Something may come of it and I very much hope so but if it doesn't then well I'm just glad I plucked up courage and got it out of the way.
She's very nice and smart and all that lark but terribly confusing at times, then again so are people generally.
I try my best which is a damn lot more than some other vagrants I know, all seems terribly unfair at times.
Still we endeavour.
Edit: Oh yeah, it wasn't a rejection it was more of a put off for now, maybe, 'kinda?' One can always hope but I can remain humble if needed.
Hopeless romantic...I'm pretty bitter about it.
I'm not sure what that makes me.
You aren't anonymous here, and you can't expect any form of credibility or respect if you're going to act like a misogynist shit.
There are plenty of female users on this site, and I know I would be personally offended if I was one of them.
Hell, I'm still angered despite my testicles.
If you want to be a sexist prick, go to 4Chan, leave it out of here.
I'm not sure what that makes me.
avykins said:
avykins said:
This isn't a Chan site.avykins said:
You aren't anonymous here, and you can't expect any form of credibility or respect if you're going to act like a misogynist shit.
There are plenty of female users on this site, and I know I would be personally offended if I was one of them.
Hell, I'm still angered despite my testicles.
If you want to be a sexist prick, go to 4Chan, leave it out of here.
Some of us (me) enjoy being treated as special in incidental matters (such as the door-holding thing), but wish to be held to the same standards and receive the same rewards as men for achieving the same things in non-incidental matters. I also think that women properly treat *men* as being special by, say, smiling at them or whatever. It works both ways.ninjablu said:
As far as I can tell, the standards/reward thing works fine, so I don't know what most women complain about. Sure, maybe you can't be a firefighter, but that's because you can't shoulder a 200 lb. body and run down a staircase, not because you're a woman. (I know women who CAN do this.)
It can be romantic . . . in bed. Start pillow-talk with a woman you barely know and she will rightly regard you as an ass. But most people will regard you as an ass if you start making personal statements or asking personal questions when they don't know you.santaandy said:
I used to be a romantic... then I started dating.
I learned pretty quickly that idealism doesn't work in the real world...
It still comes and goes... but it's more often gone than here.
I learned pretty quickly that idealism doesn't work in the real world...
It still comes and goes... but it's more often gone than here.
Nope, you're wrong. I would fuck or date none of my female acquaintances, excluding two. One of these is my ex, so I can't say I wouldn't fuck her because I have. The other one is one who has earned great respect with me and I am currently courting. I'll agree there are some I'd prefer to never talk too again, and this is mostly because they were a ***** when I was perfectly polite. I'm not polite all the time, not even close, but I know when I am and when I don't deserve harsh treatment.Good morning blues said:
And here's the problem with those three options: this isn't mind fucking. It's testing. Any psychologist will agree with me as well as my old ethics teacher, who was a woman that believed in the righteousness of the human spirit. This is something most women do regardless of whether they are are aware of it or not. If I was living somewhere near you, I would offer to go to a bar or some other place people go to get picked up/pick up with you and prove it. This even happens to me at my work, because it's the place I'm most confident it's the place I get the most attention from female coworkers or customers.
And the problem again is that men don't realize they are being tested, even if they have healthy levels of self-esteem. The whole "does this make me look fat?" is something that men just deal with, not something that makes them walk away instantly.
I agree. Men play this game too. But I disagree. MOST women play this game. the ones who are playing these games are the ones who know they are attractive and use it to their advantage. Men get hurt by the women doing it and women get hurt by the men doing it. I agree that it's all categorical bullshit.Unholykrumpet said:
What I'm saying, however, is that most women who play the game don't even realize they are doing it, while most guys have to actually be trying to play the game to play it. This is why men tend to be less successful at the game then women. If a man OR a woman doesn't know a game is being played, they are likely to fail at it. And I think it's wrong for the game to be played at all. It's just my educated opinion women play it almost consistently, while men don't.
So let me get this straight. You think that I should, on a usual basis, hold the door open for you and be sensitive to the fact that you are a woman when talking to you in the office, and that you think I should go out of my way to treat you better (like, say, not cussing with) than just a guy I share a cubicle with, but then when it comes promotion time you and I should be equal, although the only thing you've done to reciprocate me going out of my way is a smile here and there.JMeganSnow said:
Do you see the double standard yet?
And I am so confused by your second paragraph. When did personal economics become a job as a firefighter?
Well, I don't know what to say. Either you have had some bad experiences that have left you excessively bitter, or my life and my associates are the best the world has to offer.ninjablu said: