Poll: Be yourself: bad advice?

[Rusty pumpkin]

I'd like to say that I 'be myself', but I tend to hide a lot of things about myself from everyone. If I'm asked, I will answer honestly, but I never show off the things I make.

So, moderation, I guess. Truth be told, I'm just freaking paranoid about opening up.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

People hate phonies, even if you cant think they can tell trust me they can.
But in saying that if your a generally unpleasant person then hiding and controlling that is best- just work at changing/ improving yourself.

EDIT= Also, secondary school is the worst time for "individuals", once you leave it all gets rapidly better.

well, he's not really saying 'be a phony' is saying 'if youre yourself people wont always accept you because theyre intolerant asses'
but you edit is spot on. just find the tolerant people and be yourself around then.

 

[willsham45]

OK it all depends on context. Being yourself is easy, being at work, being with a partner being with mates you want to be yourself. If you are trying to get work, find a partner or mates it is ok to try and make yourself different from the usual you just don't make yourself too different from you because when you are tired and become act like you then it will not be noticeable. If you are not yourself and are too different you will be found out soon enough and it can be worce.

I think it is not so much be yourself it is more be the best you and burry and flaws you have until the coast is clear.

 

[macacos2]

Fuck the people who don't like you for who you are.

Are you insinuating rape?

 

[spartan231490]

"Be yourself" is great advice, but I don't suggest it all the time. For example, if you are a homophobe probably not the best idea to be yourself at a gay wedding. If you are anti-military, probably not the best idea to protest on a military base. If you are a comedian, you probably shouldn't crack jokes at a funeral.

As for HS, yeah, being yourself won't always help you there, but it's a better idea than trying to be "the cool kid." Cuz once HS is over, "the cool kids," have a great big barrel full of problems, and that little nerd they've been beating on for 4 years is getting good grades at a college somewhere and he has found a whole bunch of people just as nerdy as he is to hang out with.

 

[Zac Smith]

Depends on the situation, for an example, if you go for a job interview, being yourself is a lot lower then being professional

 

[Richardplex]

Your going to have to be yourself at some point, doing this from square 1 will stop that inevitable shit storm from growing and hitting you when you finally fess up.

 

[Filiecs]

One thing i'd also like to express is that even though being yourself can lead to people not liking you, as long as you are not breaking the law no one should ever force you to not be yourself. Some people I've met seem to think that they have a right to be comfortable around other people, when really it's just all in their head. It's even gone as far as beating up people because they were afraid of their own self image.

 

[Tentickles]

Why can't it be just Yes.... the poll didnt need the Honesty comment in there.

 

[Lukirre]

I find that most people interpret "be yourself" as "be as unique as possible", so they end up striving to be different - or to at least appear as such - in any way that they can manage. I personally think that the best advice that you can give is "learn how to act in certain social settings". Seems vague, but it's a lot more appropriate and a lot more useful when dealing with middle/high/post-secondary schools.

 

[DaMullet]

*snip*

Let's see your two options;

1. Be yourself and get beat up, but then after they turn 18, get them thrown in jail and continue on with your life.
or
2. Be a walking lie so you can fit in with intollerant assholes and have a mid life crisis because you lose sight of who you are along the way and never be truely happy.

Soo.... why on earth would you even concider #2?

 

[Philip Petrunak]

Be yourself, but don't be a dick about it.
Be knowable, but not a know-it-all.
Peruse your interests, but remember most people aren't interested in them.
Be outgoing and friendly, not spastic or clingy.

And always remember this, a woman's vaginal depth is 3 to 5 inches on average. The g-spot is located about 50% of the way in at the top. 5 to 6 inches is enough to get the job done nicely, plus the outside is where a lot of girls get off. If you're really worried, date a short girl and always warm the engine first.

 

[Chefodeath]

Seriously, i sometimes think almost every discussion can be summed up with "moderation is the key".

Let me quote my old teacher on Aristotle and say "there is no good moderation of a bullet to the head."

OT: Fuck individuals. There needs to be a certain level of homogenuity for a society to function. Consider language. What if we all just decided to make up our own private, magical language that perfectly expresses the way we feel. Nobody would understand your beautiful expressive language and we'd all be shooting at each other with blow guns. Trust me, it would happen!

The nature of society demands the sacrifice of certain individualistic elements. Its a good sacrifice honestly, what is a man without his relationship to other people? All of that being said, there will occasionally be individuals with such energy and force of will that they warp society to fit them, even if its just a little bit. Truly such people are gods among men, able to brave the sea of drones and make their own voice heard. They certainly don't go unchallenged though.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, you should be afraid to be yourself. Everyone should, and those with only their individualistic garbage should be afraid most of all. Those however with something worthwhile to contribute should be afraid to, but they should brave their fears and MAKE the world hear what they have to say.

 

[Beertaster]

I've found that not being yourself, and doing things like trying to please a boss who's bad at his job works out bad in the end anyways. So don't buckle down just cause someone is holding themselves above you. Because in the end they'll get their way and shaft you anyways.

I had two bosses at a Boy Scout Camp one year, they were the high adventure director and assistance director. despite trying to do well they still got the camp director to transfer me to woodcrafts (they like working on their own). Funny thing is The director and instructors there were the people they belittled and made fun of, in front of the campers. But things got better, since the woodcrafts people liked me. And to top it all off my old bosses let a 6 year old kid on the high adventure course that is only for 14 years old scouts and up, who have been prep-ing for that event all week. So he got into trouble in the end.

 

[370999]

Basicilly there is IMHO a huge difference between ebing yourself ie keeping your core values and "youness" and acting without any restraints. Part of me is my morals and my social mores, they are integral to me and part of my identity. Likweise I would imagine the same applies to you OP.

So as others have said there is no reason to act like an ass. Part of our identity is how we react to challenges and how we m,anage ourselves. This is linked to the dynamic of improvement that drives us forward, this whole thing of "That girl may have turned me down but by exercising more I'll do better next time". Always be prepared to improve yourself.

I tend to think though that you are a teen. Don't worry about it, everyone struggles with identity as a teenager. Personnally I would hope you take this as a lesson to be both diplomatic in your use of language and how much you reveal about yourself as well as possessing the strength of will to retain core aspectsa of your personality.

Or you could never differ and thus stand out for being the most boring person imaginable.

 

[plugav]

There's a time and place for everything.

And let's face it - it depends on who you are. Some assholes should stop being themselves.

 

[zehydra]

Being yourself is good advice when interpreted correctly.

As advice in general, WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN.

What does "being yourself" even entail? How can you NOT be yourself? I get that the idea is that it's better to live without peer pressure, but honestly so much of your life already is imitation.

I follow to the extent that I don't give a damn about fashion and social pressures. If you want to make fun of me because I don't obey arbitrary unsaid social rules, then screw you.

 

[Yorkshire_matt]

Quite often it can be terrible advice

 

[vivster]

if i would be myself i wouldn't be where i am today
i had to make a lot of drawbacks and suppress my real personality
and i will have to do it even more in the future

for some though it works perfectly because by accident their personality matches with social expectations