As a woman, I respect and admire men who are Gentlemen, who act like gentlemen, who treat a lady as a lady ought to be treated by a gentleman. I married a fabulous example of a gentleman. We have been married for over 6 years and he still jumps in front of me to open my car door for me. I am an intelligent and reasonably physically capable woman with a graduate level education. I am, naturally, quite capable of doing this myself, and he knows this.
His opening my door for me is a sign of his love and respect for me. Because I understand this, I make sure to thank him each and every time he does these things to let him know how much it is appreciated because I love and respect him too. I also want him, and others like him, to understand that all this folderol from the radical feminists and their contingent of "white knights" (oops, better change your nickname, boys!) is just that; it is a tale, told by a feminist, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
If you were to go out to your local grocery store, shopping mall, or wherever average folks are gathered and ask ten or twenty adult women of varying ages whether they appreciate gentlemanly behavior from a man, I would bet that the majority will say yes. Those who do not are not people I would probably consider as potential dating material if I were a man. Forget about what the vocal minority says. Behave in the way you feel best represents yourself, your values, the way you want to be seen by others and the way you want to be treated by others. If some random person doesn't appreciate your action or some crazy people on the web (yes, this includes published "scientists," I myself am a published scientist and we are just human like everyone) disagree with what you are doing, this is not a valid reason to change your behavior towards everyone of a certain gender etc. If I told you to jump off a cliff, would you do that, too?
Before everyone jumps down my throat, if a woman does not want doors held for her etc., this is her choice and she has the right to her feelings on the matter. However, I think it is sad to punish men for trying to do something kind for us out of respect for us as women. Thinking this code of behavior somehow belittles women seems to me a gross error of judgement. I suspect some women who feel this way (certainly the ones I have known) have been hurt in the past by men and they then project this onto all men and overreact to even the slightest percieved injustice.
Radical feminists are throwing the baby out with the bathwater, big time. What do they want; do they want to improve the lot of women, do they want women to be treated like men, or do they just want to be the same as men? The fact is, we are NOT men, and thank God! The fact is, men and women are different. This is the whole point of sexual dimorphism as an evolutionary strategy. Yes, men are naturally stronger than women in general. Women outperform men in other areas; door opening, however, is at times an act of strength. Some of these doors are freakin heavy or tend to stick. This is where it comes from, of course. But let's be real; nobody in the majority really still thinks women are nothing more than "wilting flowers" in this day and age. My idea of feminism is to embrace all that makes me a woman, to celebrate the differences between men and women, and to make the most of my unique strengths. "Different" does not mean "less."
Women, please let's learn to love ourselves *as women*. Once you can accept and love yourself fully for who and what you are, little things like whether a man opens a door for you may come to seem trivial (unless it's a specific known man being annoying in a specific way, as above). If the women in question knew how much it would hurt the man in question if she snubbed his generous gesture, and that it costs her nothing to just thank him and walk through the door, why not just do that? If you are dating someone or friends with someone and don't want him to behave this way, sure, explain to him what you want. Please don't make all of this more difficult than it needs to be if the man holding the door is a stranger. If the man holding the door was a smiling elderly man, would you still stop him and angrily refuse his gesture? Men deserve the same respect and consideration for their feelings that women do. This should go without saying.
