Poll: Can you defeat yourself

[C F]

I would remind myself that I would never mug someone and my his? head would explode!

If you're trying to do the paradox thing, remember there's nothing in the OP that actually states he's future-you. He's just doppelganger you with a beard. It could be an evil twin or a clone or you from an alternate reality, or any manner of you-alikes who have your skills but a completely independent timeline and imperative.

 

[Fappy]

I would remind myself that I would never mug someone and my his? head would explode!

If you're trying to do the paradox thing, remember there's nothing in the OP that actually states he's future-you. He's just doppelganger you with a beard. It could be an evil twin or a clone or you from an alternate reality, or any manner of you-alikes who have your skills but a completely independent timeline and imperative.

I guess the poll option, "I am a pacifist! Wait, why is myself attacking me still?" confused me a bit.

If he absolutely is out to mug me and paradoxes won't kill him I'd probably just kick him in the balls.

I know my own weaknesses.

 

[Kaltazraza]

I wouldn't punch somebody with glasses, and then proceed to talk about manga and anime with myself.

 

[veloper]

Easy: leg it. My clone cannot overtake me.

As the chased party I even got the advantage that I will choose where and when we will cross the street, so the traffic will work in my favour and I can also topple things on my way to create obstacles behind me.

I lose the pose, but I win the race.

 

[Vuliev]

Since I'm a reasonable person, I try to talk myself down first, see why he's resorted to crime. I'm pretty sure that I would know that I wouldn't want to harm myself, so I think I'd listen to reason and listen to what I have to say.

Failing that, it comes down to when I strike first as I would only strike to incapacitate. Or, perhaps, knowing me, I might just step slowly away because I know me, and I'd be too afraid to make a move to take my wallet.

 

[Karoshi]

On account of having a twin sister, I shall calmly pass her my money and express my admiration towards her wonderful dwarf costume - especially the cozy beautiful beard. It isn't even worth mentioning, that I will get my money back the next day.

 

[Alexias_Sandar]

Seems I've just gotten myself an interesting sparring partner. Though if they think I have enough money to be worth stealing on hand...they can't really be me...

 

[Pebkio]

We've been planning this for years. So we'd instantly know that this is one of the points in our lives that leads us to actively causing the very same point in our lives. First, he'd have to give me the codeword that we've already decided upon. If he really were me, he'd know the code.

If not, then it's a person trying to mimic me, in that case, he so screwed.

If he does, we'd then perform any and all tasks necessary to make sure that I end up standing where I'll be. No discussion would need to be made, unless discussion was involved, but it would all happens how it's supposed to happen.

Edit: On an off-topic bender: What is up with everyone using Daystar's avatar?

 

[wulfy42]

The martial art I have specialized the most in is Judo, which is very defensively oriented and relies on an opponent attacking you. Since the other me would be on the offensive, I would have a large advantage and should easily be able to defeat myself.

In addition, most everyone should be able to defeat themselves if only they have realized they are fighting themself (assuming the other you has not realized it yet since they are attacking themself).

If you know how you fight, you'll know how the other you fights, while the other you won't have the same advantage. You'll know all your own weaknesses, while the other you doesn't know the same thing. If you have a bum knee, you could kick the other you's bum knee, if you can't see at all without your glasses, you can knock them off the other you etc.

 

[Hawk of Battle]

Other me would already know that symmetry fights never result in anything other than a stalmate, therefore I would not need to fight me in a phsyical fight, as I would instead challenge me to a battle of wits that neither of us could win. The other me would know he cannot win, and would thus be forced to fight me anyway. Going on the offensive would then put him in a disadvantage, as I know Ju-Jitsu, which is almost completely based on defence, with little openly offensive moves.

Other me would then know that if he attacks first, I will defed, and likely win, and we would instead settle the dispute with a nice game of chess. After that I cannot make a plan for, becuase the other me would already know it and would counter it, so it's better to just make it up as we go.

 

[SirDoom]

The condition in the original post implies that we are both equally armed, but neither of us has the weapon drawn. In this case, I would likely come out ahead, as I keep my wallet in my left pocket (I hate keeping it in my back pocket, as it is uncomfortable to sit on even when empty). Also in my left pocket is my butterfly knife. Conveniently enough, my left hand is the one I use most for casually flipping the thing around.

So, unless my clone's hand is already on his knife, I should be able to act like I'm getting my wallet and get the knife out and open faster than he can. At which point it becomes "Me with knife vs Me without knife". Also, when you consider the fact that I hate myself and this is a great opportunity to take out that hatred without actually hurting myself... He's gonna get cut up real good.

 

[kasperbbs]

Well if it's me then winning the fight would be 50/50. So i would try asking some questions and then i would point out that i always carry just enough cash to get to my job and back and to buy some snacks. And if he still wanted it he can have it, it's not worth the effort defending a few coins. But if he wanted my credit card and knew my password then it's a different story..

 

[Thistlehart]

If I were to run into myself, and both mes were indeed me, then the first thought to cross our minds would not be to fight. It would be to sex.

Therefor, if someone who mimicked me that perfectly tried to attack me, I'd likely be rather put-off and angry.

I would go super-saiyan and beat the snot out of the imposter, inflicting every cruelty I have ever dreamed up in anger upon his unfortunate carcass.

Captcha: one way.

Well said, Captcha.

 

[Private Custard]

I'd look at myself and think "fuck, that looks like the bloke that went under the back wheels of a coach and only suffered bruising.....bollocks to this"

I'd then hand over my cash, knowing that the resulting effects on the timeline would mean that my future self would suddenly realise that a few years back, he got mugged, and would then hand over some cash to help me out!

Kind and invincible. Don't fuck with me, I'll give you money!!

 

[username sucks]

Considering I have a recurring nightmare where the monster is another me, I would probably pass out from fear.

 

[everfreeDragon]

Simple, I give myself the wallet and go home to work on my time machine. The time machine sadly has the side effect of beardifying all that use it but it takes me to the exact moment I know I'll find myself and then I demand my wallet from this third me who will then go home and finish their time machine.

 

[demoman_chaos]

I know that I can beat myself, for I have. I have played myself at chess while trying to make a few mistakes as possible for each team and won (well, I lost too).

In unarmed combat, I favor grappling. If he fucks up his takedown attempt (which he would be trying) then I got him easy.

 

[Innocent Bystander]

I immediately cry out "We meet again, old friend!" and he will reply with "but this time the advantage is mine!" We will then both laugh, then we'll both go get a beer and reminisce about the good ol' days.

 

[irmasterlol]

I happen to know for a fact that I have no ground game, so I'd try to shoot in for my legs and see if I can get the takedown. There's no way I could escape a good ground n pound from myself.

 

[Erttheking]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I can beat myself.........that came out wrong.