Ooh, this is almost becoming a weekly thing for me. May the gods save us all.
As some of you may have guessed, I woke up not too long ago. My radio alarm went off, and I was ready to start my day with some witty banter from Chris Moyles. Instead, I was greeted by a song by Miley Cyrus.
Miley. Cyrus. That wasn't how I was planning on starting my day. In fact, quite near the top of my "List of things I don't want to hear as I wake up" is an entry which reads "The voice of a teenage girl paid by Disney to sing songs". I hoped it was a one-off thing for Disney, and I went about my day as usual. I had forgotten all about the mind-destroying terror of her voice, and how weird it was that even though it seemed as if there was more touching up of her voice than [[insert Michael Jackson joke here]], it was still very monotonous and out of tune. I was suddenly thrown back into the harsh reality of a world where Disney makes music when I walked by my small local cinema. I scanned the window to see when "Quantum of Solace" would be released, and I noticed an advert for "High School Musical 3".[img_inline caption="This picture came from a website called Efronfreak.com. Need I say more?" align=left]http://www.efronfreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/high_school_musical_3_poster_no_hotlinking.jpg[/img_inline]At the risk of putting myself in an inordinate amount of danger from the HSM fans out there (look, don't hurt me. I used an abbreviation!), I have to say that they should have stopped filming halfway through the first one and burned all the film in the cameras at the time. For those lucky few that have not heard of it, allow me to outline the plot. [li]Boy meet girl. Boy falls in love with girl. High school has musical. Nothing of consequence happens as a result.[/li]
All you need to do is throw in some sickeningly corny songs, and you're done. I'll pre-empt the responses that tell me the songs aren't corny, with the simple method of raising them this lyric. "We're soarin', flyin', there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach!" That sums up the whole film. Back to the topic at hand, however. For the whole of the first film, the aforementioned male star doesn't sing a note, yet gained fame and riches beyond his wildest dreams for his singing. Yes, he sang in the un-needed sequels, but the sequels weren't what made him famous. The whole situation sums up the Disney music situation. They take a child, exploit them regardless of talent, and make them "a star". Look back over the years, and you can see how often Disney do this. They give them a film or TV show and let the tweens flock to them, and then capitalise on the attention that being shown 24/7 on the Disney Channel gets by releasing an album.
Before anybody tells me that Disney have stopped doing this, only recently they have released a film called "Camp Rock" and have started exploited three children instead of the usual one or two. Now, if Disney only decided to peddle the Jonas Brothers' music, I could turn the other cheek. I did so and was smacked around it by the name of the film. "Camp Rock". This is a prime example of how Disney are trying to dilute the music pool. They release the same old bland music, and now they try to flog it off as rock because they have some guitars.
Let's take a look at this picture here. One of the bands shown is rock. Is it...
a) The Jonas Brothers, a Disney-made group of teens?
b) Metallica, a two-decade old group with 5-minute long guitar solos.
If any of you said anything other than Option B, then I regret to inform you that you are a prime example of how Disney dilutes the musical pool to get a quick cash-in.
So, discussion time, people. Do you like Disney music? Do you oppose the dilution of the musical pool? Are the Jonas Brothers actually rock? Can you think of a better title for the article? Go on. Talk amongst yourselves.
As some of you may have guessed, I woke up not too long ago. My radio alarm went off, and I was ready to start my day with some witty banter from Chris Moyles. Instead, I was greeted by a song by Miley Cyrus.
Miley. Cyrus. That wasn't how I was planning on starting my day. In fact, quite near the top of my "List of things I don't want to hear as I wake up" is an entry which reads "The voice of a teenage girl paid by Disney to sing songs". I hoped it was a one-off thing for Disney, and I went about my day as usual. I had forgotten all about the mind-destroying terror of her voice, and how weird it was that even though it seemed as if there was more touching up of her voice than [[insert Michael Jackson joke here]], it was still very monotonous and out of tune. I was suddenly thrown back into the harsh reality of a world where Disney makes music when I walked by my small local cinema. I scanned the window to see when "Quantum of Solace" would be released, and I noticed an advert for "High School Musical 3".[img_inline caption="This picture came from a website called Efronfreak.com. Need I say more?" align=left]http://www.efronfreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/high_school_musical_3_poster_no_hotlinking.jpg[/img_inline]At the risk of putting myself in an inordinate amount of danger from the HSM fans out there (look, don't hurt me. I used an abbreviation!), I have to say that they should have stopped filming halfway through the first one and burned all the film in the cameras at the time. For those lucky few that have not heard of it, allow me to outline the plot. [li]Boy meet girl. Boy falls in love with girl. High school has musical. Nothing of consequence happens as a result.[/li]
All you need to do is throw in some sickeningly corny songs, and you're done. I'll pre-empt the responses that tell me the songs aren't corny, with the simple method of raising them this lyric. "We're soarin', flyin', there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach!" That sums up the whole film. Back to the topic at hand, however. For the whole of the first film, the aforementioned male star doesn't sing a note, yet gained fame and riches beyond his wildest dreams for his singing. Yes, he sang in the un-needed sequels, but the sequels weren't what made him famous. The whole situation sums up the Disney music situation. They take a child, exploit them regardless of talent, and make them "a star". Look back over the years, and you can see how often Disney do this. They give them a film or TV show and let the tweens flock to them, and then capitalise on the attention that being shown 24/7 on the Disney Channel gets by releasing an album.
Before anybody tells me that Disney have stopped doing this, only recently they have released a film called "Camp Rock" and have started exploited three children instead of the usual one or two. Now, if Disney only decided to peddle the Jonas Brothers' music, I could turn the other cheek. I did so and was smacked around it by the name of the film. "Camp Rock". This is a prime example of how Disney are trying to dilute the music pool. They release the same old bland music, and now they try to flog it off as rock because they have some guitars.
a) The Jonas Brothers, a Disney-made group of teens?
b) Metallica, a two-decade old group with 5-minute long guitar solos.
If any of you said anything other than Option B, then I regret to inform you that you are a prime example of how Disney dilutes the musical pool to get a quick cash-in.
So, discussion time, people. Do you like Disney music? Do you oppose the dilution of the musical pool? Are the Jonas Brothers actually rock? Can you think of a better title for the article? Go on. Talk amongst yourselves.
