Poll: disrespect

[Echopunk]

Respect has to be earned. When I was about twenty, I remember going to the grocery store. I overheard a couple of guys who were in their forties (an estimate) talking about their kids. At the time, I could identify with their kids easier. I wanted to say something like "You have no idea what they're probably having to face on a daily basis..."

Now, eight years later, most of my friends have kids. I was having dinner at one friends house, and overheard an argument with one of the children (early teens). While I can still remember what it was like to be that age, it just made me feel embarrassed for the kid.

High school doesn't really mean anything. Aside from maybe having a really positive reaction to an exceptional teacher or two (and possibly earning a scholarship), the only purpose it really serves is to help/force the youth to grow their social skin. It is a microcosm of just about any environment you will stumble into later in life, so the patterns that get ingrained early will probably be around for a long time.

So, OP, your friend has the right idea here. In any situation involving more than one person, the best one can do is to control their own reaction. Someone saying they demand respect gets about the same reaction from me as someone screaming that they won't be ignored: dismissal. Don't get me wrong, I used to be the same way. I got in more than my share of fights over incredibly stupid things, but you'll reach a point where it just isn't worth it to be that person. Here's a line I use to help myself keep things in perspective: "There are enough people who act like that in the world already, I don't need to become one more."

 

[Laser Priest]

Respect needs to be earned.

Going out of your way to disrespect others is a good way to show that you don't desrve much respect yourself.

 

[Pegghead]

You could:

a)Ignore them, 'cause hater's gonna hate

b)Wail on them like there's no tomorrow and have the disrespect only worsen

I've got a stereotypically hot-headed mate who tries to start shit over nothing and constantly makes montains out of molehills. Today me and a friend were talking about something that happened back in primary school wherein some jerk punched me in the gut, and the moment he heard that he was all "What's this dickheads name? I swear to God I'll find him." and once again we had to calm his farm and ask him to stop getting so crazy about every time that someone shows an iota of disrespect towards any of us.

If you go around starting crap with people who cross you and talk down to you out in the real world you're just gonna end up with assault charges, remember the ancient mantra:

 

[Flailing Escapist]

One time in high school this kid was cheating in dodgeball.
We fought.
He broke my arm and I broke his nose!

Mwaha disrespect that mofo!

Broken arm > Broken nose


You lost that fight buddy.

Hey, as far as I know his nose is still out of place, my arm healed up just fine.
It was worth it too that guy was a prick.

 

[Zakarath]

Honestly, bullies are like trolls. The more attention you pay to them, the more they win. Show you're the better man and ignore it.

 

[FalloutJack]

Mostly, I will say that it is an act of standing up for myself. Jack is not a meek person at heart. I have, at the very least, a "Piss off" for the disrespectful, though I will say that I tend to make better use of my words most of the time.

 

[Johnny Impact]

First off, you're in High School. Sorry, but unless you earn it, you don't have any respect from me. Here's a quick look into the adult brain when you tell him "respect me"

You haven't seen what I've seen
You haven't done what I've done
You don't know what I know
You haven't been where I've been
You don't have the scars, you don't have the pains, you haven't lost, you haven't won, you haven't lived.

So sit down, shut up, and listen.


You say that you only get "respect" inside your circle of friends. It's for a reason. When you've done something to earn it, you'll get respect without having to demand it.

All true.

So you made it into high school. Big deal, most of us here already graduated. Many of us made it through college, too. We have jobs now. We pay our own way. You think having a girlfriend is difficult, wait until you try a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

You haven't been there yet. Most of us are ahead of you. We don't necessarily think you're worthless, we just understand we probably have more knowledge and experience than you. You don't have to like it, but you should understand it. It's fact.

The thing to remember is, we adults still don't get much respect. Our girl/boyfriends still cheat on us. Douchebags still cut us off in traffic. The person in front of us at the supermarket checkout still holds things up by chatting with the cashier for ten minutes. The brown-noser at work still gets the promotion despite our superior performance.

Respect isn't some magical aura you get just because you stop growing taller. You may live your whole life without ever experiencing it.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

First off, the fact that you've declared this girl your former friend now, apparently for no other reason than that she disagreed with you, speaks to your own immaturity OP. The idea that you can get back at people who "disrespect" you by disrespecting them back is the kind of empowerment fantasy that the victims of bullying often live through. But it's just a fantasy.

So let me tell you this. Bullies love it when you "stand up for yourself" by "disrespecting them back." They wanted a reaction and you gave it to them. The fact that you called them something bad back doesn't hurt their feelings, it gets them off. Unfortunately, there isn't too much you can do when kids treat you like shit, unless you want to report them or something, which (needless to say) has its own repercussions. Your friend is a little more grown up than you in saying that the best thing you can do is ignore it. If you try to do something you give them what they want, and they'll come back for more. If you keep your cool then at least they don't get what they want.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Ignore them because it is honestly better for you. Why would you seek to waste your time making there lives a tiny fraction worse when you could be making yours better? In the case of a repetitive bully or something then remember; It takes 28 muscles to frown but only 4 muscles to turn around and punch them in the face.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Laugh in their face and walk away.

If they want to start something, fight back, but in most cases disrespect is just trolling in real life. Defending yourself from it is just feeding the trolls.

That reminds me of my school experience so much.

People were on my ass plenty, but every time I considered reacting I called myself on it...there's literally nothing to gain by being sucked into petty shite. Smile, shake head, leave.

You'd hope that when they reflect on it later, they'd be embarrassed.

 

[KennardKId5]

Act like you have a mental illness. They HAVE to respect you.

 

[spartan231490]

so i was talking to a now former friend about the topic of disrespect. we are both in high school and dont get much respect outside of our friend circle. she feels that she can "rise above" the disrespect by doing nothing and was stating that i was being rude by disrespecting the people that show me disrespect. i feel that shes taking it like a scared coward. i feel like i am giving fair treatment to these assholes. what do you think. how should you react to disrespect

Depends on the situation, sometimes you have no real option other than taking it and ignoring it, but for the most part i agree with you. If someone shows you disrespect, they are undeserving of your respect. In high school, it's pretty much the only option. "Rising above" it, just makes you a doormat for every fuck-tard and bully in existence. Once you get out into college or job conditions, there are more situations where you can't really retaliate, but it's wise not to completely take it lying down either.

 

[Psykoma]

Depends on the situation, sometimes you have no real option other than taking it and ignoring it, but for the most part i agree with you. If someone shows you disrespect, they are undeserving of your respect. In high school, it's pretty much the only option. "Rising above" it, just makes you a doormat for every fuck-tard and bully in existence. Once you get out into college or job conditions, there are more situations where you can't really retaliate, but it's wise not to completely take it lying down either.

"undeserving of your respect" is a far cry from "deserving disrespect".


Be an adult, you don't have to show respect to people who disrespect you, but disrespecting them is doing nothing good for you.

 

[Vilcus]

Give everyone the respect they deserve, and by that I mean the respect they've earned. Nobody inherently deserves respect, and anybody who demands it doesn't deserve it.

If somebody disrespects you, then that's a good sign to just not be around them, it probably means they just don't like you, and that's their right as an individual. This almost seems like one of those things you encounter when you're younger, when kids are all upset when they find out that another kid on the playground doesn't want to be their friend, it's just incredibly petty.

 

[spartan231490]

Depends on the situation, sometimes you have no real option other than taking it and ignoring it, but for the most part i agree with you. If someone shows you disrespect, they are undeserving of your respect. In high school, it's pretty much the only option. "Rising above" it, just makes you a doormat for every fuck-tard and bully in existence. Once you get out into college or job conditions, there are more situations where you can't really retaliate, but it's wise not to completely take it lying down either.

"undeserving of your respect" is a far cry from "deserving disrespect".


Be an adult, you don't have to show respect to people who disrespect you, but disrespecting them is doing nothing good for you.

That's your opinion. Showing disrespect to people who disrespect me and others has won me friends, and it makes me laugh. I'm gonna keep right on doing it. Do you know why? Because it works. People stop disrespecting you very quickly if they know all they're going to get out of it is a great big helping of verbal smackdown and an even bigger helping of humiliation.

Retaliation is not wrong. Self-defense in all forms is nothing more than a celebration of the value of life, and freedom. The refusal to defend yourself from any attack, no matter how minor, is nothing more than the tacit approval of the attackers actions. The implied agreement that yes, the attackers rights to assault you are more valuable than your rights to not be assaulted. It grants moral equivalency where none exists, and none can exist.

Self defense, as I said, is a celebration of the value of life and freedom. Why? Because it shows a condemnation of those who would attack others, and therefore it supports your right to live your life as you choose, without being assaulted for those choices.

I don't really care if you think I'm being childish. I know that I am in fact, pursuing the only adult option available.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

I'm afraid "disr

 

[StBishop]

Disrespect does not deserve disrespect.
If someone is direspectful, call them out on it (respectfully) and if necessary put them in their place.

You don't need to be disrespectful to stand up for yourself, and you don't need to be a wimp to be "the bigger man" about it.

 

[JoJo]

Answer: Ignore them

Seriously, high school bullies? Who cares? You really haven't given us enough to go on. Although, I really don't know what is so bad that you create an account just to ask us.

Why do you need the respect of idiots? Why can't you just ignore their disrespect?

This a thousand times. In upper school both my best friends were bullied quite a bit, but aside from a couple of attempts to annoy me the bullies didn't show me much interest there on after? Why? Because I didn't react, so I was no fun to bully, so they didn't bother with me.