Poll: Do you want an apology?

[w9496]

Strange, I've only had one bully in my life, and that was in the 6th grade. He thought it was fun until I got big enough to kick the shit out of him, which I did. We actually became friends after that.

He's never apologized for it, and I'm okay with that. I got out all of my hate when I beat him up.

 

[thePyro_13]

No, its been half a decade since i've seen them, and it's unlikely I'll ever run into them again, let alone have to actually communicate or deal with them. I don't care about how they feel about our past.

That said, I believe I've treated people harshly in the past, in a sort of friendly jibbing way. But now that I look back I worry that they may have felt they were being bullied, or were otherwise upset about it. If I run into any of them(ok there's really only one) I'll make sure to clarify our past relationship and apologise if it was harmful for them. Though I don't know whether my desire to do this is for their benefit or my own. If they did feel that they were bullied, it's possible that they feel about it the same way I feel about my past bullying(as above). Societies are complex that way, I guess.

 

[Rottweiler]

I had several bullies; it took me halfway through Junior High before my growth caught up to me.

About 15 years after this, my main bully randomly came by my work, recognized me, and said "I remember pushing you around when we were kids...wow, you look like you could kick my ass now."

To which I replied,

"Yes I could, Billy. Have a nice day."

And I felt better seeing him scurry away.

 

[axlryder]

Not really. I actually made friends with my bullies from 8th-10th grade in my later high school years, so all that would come down to would be people who bullied me in 3rd-7th grade. As to that, eh. I don't think I'd want an apology. It wouldn't do anything for me at this point. The emotional scars that were inflicted will always be there, and the words of an effectively different person aren't going to change what happened.

I worked through it, and I'm over it now (or at least I've buried it to the point of it no longer interfering in my everyday life). If I could go back in time and make that shitty kid apologize to my younger self I'd gladly do it, but this now adult version of that child I don't know or care about. I'd probably accept it and move it. If anything I'd take solace in the fact that they didn't grow up to be a shitty person.

 

[lenkaronon]

I was bullied in my early teens (13-16) and would have nothing against an apology. I don't even think that my bullies today recognise what they did was wrong, an apology would tell me they do recognise it. The apology is not important beacuse I want an apology, but beacuse what it might bring future generation. Children learn from their parents and hopefully that would let them teach their children not to bully, to be respectfull and understanding to other human beings. And if an apology calm their conscience it's more then enough for me.

This is not to say I would not love to be succsefull and shove it in down their throats. Im a humanbeing, I have my revengfantasies sometimes a year bu most of the time Im happy with all the wonderfull friends I have today. For me thats a succsess I would never let go off and proudly can speak of today.

The only person I want an apology from that is just for my own sake is my teacher. My teacher that even today don't recognise that I was bullied. That I wanted to do all my work alone beacuse nobody in class liked me. If she had just stop being blind my school years could have been better. She could have learned the other in my class an important lesson to keep with them for the rest of their lives. You don't have the right to bully and bullying can have diffrent forms, not just the pyshical one.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

seeing them own up to it and be better people for such self-reflection, yeah, I suppose I'd like that, for their sake.
I have already moved past it myself, but high school fuckin' sucked because of them.

 

[an annoyed writer]

I'm in the position of not needing an apology, since I always fought back. Nothing tells a bully off more than jumping on his back, riding him like a horse while strangling him with your lunchbox's strap... If anything, I should probably be the one apologizing for that, though for whatever reason I feel no remorse, especially since I had my throat nearly crushed and my hat (temporarily) stolen in that case.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Nothing tells a bully off more than jumping on his back, riding him like a horse while strangling him with your lunchbox's strap...

Oh, you have no idea how awesomely kinky that sounds.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Nothing tells a bully off more than jumping on his back, riding him like a horse while strangling him with your lunchbox's strap...

Oh, you have no idea how awesomely kinky that sounds.

Oh, I do. That bastard didn't really find it to be all that kinky though. And at the moment, I was driven more by bloodlust than anything. Fun as hell for the half-minute he was still bucking like a bronco though...

And yes, I'm petty sure I'm crazy, thanks for asking.

 

[AlbertoDeSanta]

I'd accept one, I don't WANT one. But if it was given, sure I'd accept it.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Fun as hell for the half-minute he was still bucking like a bronco though...

And the kinky-level has increased even more. Congratulations!

I apologise for making light of what would have been a very serious situation in reality. It just really does sound like the storyline of some kind of BDSM porno.

 

[Roofstone]

Well it'd certainly help. My shrink would be happy as well is my guess considering how damaged I am after all the bullying I got in school. You're kinda insensitive OP.. Bullying can have amazingly adverse effects on your psyche.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Fun as hell for the half-minute he was still bucking like a bronco though...

And the kinky-level has increased even more. Congratulations!

I apologise for making light of what would have been a very serious situation in reality. It just really does sound like the storyline of some kind of BDSM porno.

No need to apologize. If anything it just makes the situation even funnier in retrospect. Turning expectations on their head and all that.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Nope and this is coming from a guy who had "friends" who tormented me during my High School years (they kept making fun of me all those long years and were an ass in general).

While I can easily imagine seeing them apologising to me (one of them did feel remorse for his action toward me when High School was almost over) but I know as hell I would never accept it since accepting it would mean I would have to reconcile and be friends with them again which I don't want (it best that they stayed in the past in my memory).

Granted I would want "closure" but my form of closure is pretty much a long winded rant toward them on how terrible of an friends they were toward them I also stated on how much better of the friends I made in Uni compared to them and that they can never match up to them when it come to being friends with me.

 

[DazBurger]

I would like an apology, I don't need one, but it would be awesome to know that certain people had improved themselves and the world now was that amount of people, less stupid.

 

[JemothSkarii]

If other people want an apology, all the power to them.

Me? Nah, it's apology enough that I don't have to see them again...Just have to avoid drinking and being alone while under the effects of said alcohol. Even two drinks brings up bad memories. It was never slurs that got to me either which makes me laugh.

 

[crimson sickle2]

I wouldn't want an apology for anything done in the past that was intentional at the time. I'm one of those that prescribe to a "live and learn" type attitude. If someone wronged me by mistake or misunderstanding, I guess an apology would at least allow me to understand more about what happened.

In regards to the radio show, I don't think it's odd for people to receive closure from a long overdue apology. There are around seven billion people on this planet and each has a different assortment of history and personality (they're not all great or interesting, but still). Not thinking about another's possible circumstances, and making an internet forum post out of it, makes an op look like an insensitive ass.

 

[Mcupobob]

I don't need a apology from my bully, I saw him last December. Still living in the same shitty small town and now homeless. I stopped thinking about it long ago but it was one of those "Ha I got the last laugh" kind of moments when I did run into him.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

As a kid my go-to move with bullies was to knock them down and sit on them, I didn't have too many bullies.

 

[Griffolion]

I was the recipient of some verbal abuse in my primary (elementary) years since I wasn't the skinniest person around back then. My teachers denied it happening, despite it being quite blatant at times, and they were just as worse putting me down if ever I was to do badly with some work. None of it was ever crushing, but enough to have an effect, obviously nowhere near as bad as some of the stories I'm reading here.

Anyway, if any of them were to sincerely apologise to me now, I'd accept it. It doesn't really make up for it, but I don't need it to, I've moved on. It does show remorse, and I don't believe it's for me to condemn a remorseful person who's being honest and vulnerable. I guess I'd just try to break the cycle of debt keeping with some compassion, and end up feeling a lot better about it. Something unrelated to bullies, but on the topics of apologies long after an incident, happened to me previously, and that's what I did. It wasn't easy, but then again I don't have the burden of a grudge on me right now.