Poll: Do you want an apology?

[anonymity88]

All I want is for eternal suffering for those that bullied me growing up. But the knowledge that most had kids before the age of 18 and a couple went to prison whilst the rest are working dead end jobs is enough for me. They were petty back then, I grew into it.

 

[Vanorae]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I wouldn't care. I got bullied brutally for being both the poorest kid in school and the only white kid in school, even had to transfer schools, but I got over it.
Not saying that everybody else should or even can get over it, just saying that thats what personally happened to me.

I got big, I got mean, people stopped messing with me, I ended up befriending some people that were in the Bloods and people really stopped messing with me. The I stopped caring and got on with my life. If one of my old bullies were to come up to me and apologize I'd tell them "Doesn't matter" and walk away. Which is something that I've already done actually.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

And this is very nice of you. I rarely ever see something like that from anybody. Kudos.

 

[songnar]

I've had a few apologies.

It doesn't really heal anything. It doesn't change what happened.

In short, no, I don't want an apology. I'd rather just not see 'em again.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

Have met people who used to bully me after growing up, got apology, talked it out. I think that did both me and them good.

 

[snappydog]

A sincere apology is... something, if it shows that they've learned something and become a better person than they used to be. With any luck it means that they'll try to teach their children not to do what they did.
On the other hand, most of the people who did most of the emotional damage to me in my youth probably didn't know they were doing it, so an apology would be kind of moot on the grounds that I suspect they had and still have no clue what they were doing.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

I've really forgiven them already. There's usually a reason for bullies to bully. Most of the time they're just a mess of emotional issues and I actually kind of pity them. I hope they are in a better place now.

This is basically how I feel.

It was very humbling to receive an apology from someone just after I finished school, though.

It was nice to see that he had started paying attention to his conscience.

I wouldn't say that I require apologies from anyone who has wronged me in the past, though; the past is the past.

There's nothing I can do or say to change that now. All I can do is learn from the experiences and put any leftover negative emotions behind me.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Speaking as Sam's sister, and not her, although I know she feels the same way.

We were bullied terribly throughout our school years. The "I want to kill myself" type of bullying, except we never considered it ourselves. But we did miss a lot of school and even some graduation events because of it. Ah, to grow up fat and ugly. Funny we turned out so good once we hit our 20s.

Would we accept an apology from those people? No.

Never. I see those people on occasion, and I tolerate them, but if something happened to them we'd be the first to grab the champagne and dance on their graves.

We're strong, independent people now because we had to face such things, but we'll never forgive nor forget. I thank them for making us strong and successful in life, but beyond that I wish every horrible thing that could possibly happen to them would happen to them.

This coming from someone who turns 30 in two months.

To be so seriously bullied, to be physically and emotionally attacked on a daily basis, to have your face shoved in the mud literally and figuratively, it stays with you forever, it may make you strong but it does blacken you, too.

As I've said in the past: To all bullies, I hope all your dreams never come true, every person you love abandons you, every attempt you make in life fails.

 

[Vykrel]

that's pretty insensitive on your part. it sounds like maybe people were simply mean to you in high school, so you clearly don't understand just how far some bullies go.

personally, i've never been bullied, but there are plenty of kids who have been driven to suicide by their bullies. for all you know, the woman who called could have been pretty close.

not everyone has the mental fortitude that you have, either. bullying can result in deep emotional issues. again, for all you know, the woman who called could have been an outgoing person before being bullied. maybe it turned her into an introvert. maybe it made her depressed. not everyone is as tough-skinned as you or i.

but if i had been bullied, i certainly would appreciate an apology. it's not like i would need one, but to be able to forgive someone is a nice thing, and it would be even better to know that person regretted the way they treated others.

 

[Namechangeday]

I'll only accept apologies from people who bullied me if they died early, poor, and in a tragic way. Either that or if they give me $2000 to accept their apology.
On the other hand, I don't really care for apologies cause you can never tell if they really mean it and how much they mean it.

 

[Spitfire]

No, I don't want an apology. I've been bullied, and I've went to quite some extremes to sever all ties with those responsible. While it would be nice to know that they at least developed a conscience and feel remorse for their actions, I don't really care at this point; they're dead to me. Truth be told, I'm less concerned with the actions of some stupid kids way back when, and more concerned with the poor parenting and the indifference of the adults who allowed that to happen in the first place. They are the people who I want to hear from, and I expect a hell of a lot more from them than just some words of regret. I don't want an apology; I want my fucking life back.

 

[A_Parked_Car]

I would certainly want one. One such person actually did apologize to me years later. It felt really good. I was never really angry at them, since I'm an extremely forgiving person.

 

[Sansha]

At my High School, one of the kids that bullied me died in a car crash. Remember hearing about it through the grapevine of other students. Caught it on the news. He was drunk and plowed into a tree. I didn't care that he was dead. Eventually I was going to have to fight him, this kind of stopped it. Alot of other kids he bullied as well.

My former high-school bully had his dreams crushed, turned alcoholic and went to jail for beating his girlfriend, and hung himself in a cell. Justice, as far as I'm concerned.

On topic - actually yes. I recently had someone who seriously wronged me a couple of years ago apologize... and it actually made me feel a whole lot better.

You'd be surprised that an apology can do.

 

[Wolfeyes555]

Hm... now that is a good question.

I was bullied pretty bad back in Elementary but was left mostly alone during my Jr. High and High School years. Since I lived in a fairly small town, I did end up going to High School with the people who bullied me however we didn't talk to each other much.

Now would I have liked an apology from them? I suppose I'd accept it if they did end up apologizing to me, but the thing I'd probably want more is finding out that they realized they were wrong and turned their life around for the better.

 

[Alcamonic]

Now why would I even want an apology from shitheads who does not know the mere definition of the word...

Actions of the past shaped and molded me into what I am today. Will I suddenly spring forth and become some sort of super social butterfly who only see joy in the world? No? Then I will continue with the monkeysphere world I have created which only a select few is apart of.

I am alive, I imagine some of them are not (not my doing should that be the case, as much as I wish it were).
I am almost grateful, countless hours of practicing the art of hiding emotions, thinking and analyzing information more than a person probably should at any given time has increased my problem solving skill and resourcefulness.

Sadly, as much as I want to become a Punicher or sorts, a realistic Batman of our time and society, I would get locked in and get medical treatment for being the one person who actually show the world how rotten it is and try to do something about it.

Swedish "justice" system is a joke. Since my fundings and social connections are limited I have to rely on someone else becoming a strong leader that can cleans out the weed of our much rotten society. No, you don't get 2 years of jail (which is more like 1 year because "good behaviour") for murdering someone. You don't get medical treatment for 4 years in a minimum security prison. If found guilty by strong evidence and in a more realistic court and law system you fucking DIE.

Call me a "fascist asshole" and "this is how WW2 started, you shit prick" if you must. Is it really more humane not killing people so they can kill others by them selves? That's not justice, that's retardation and gullible thinking that people become "cured" by doing a couple of years time.

/rant

Thanks for me, that felt better getting it out of my system.

 

[Raikas]

I don't have personal experience to add, but the wife of a friend of mine actually recently had someone who bullied her when they were kids (12-13 or so, I gather) and she appreciated it. But this is 20 years later, so it wasn't fresh for her - I think she would probably have been more aggressive about it if it were closer to the moment, you know?

 

[DugMachine]

Nope. I moved on after middle/high school and never looked back. What bullying I experienced was so shallow and forgettable that I can't even remember instances of said bullying. Sure, I have self image issues but that was mostly brought on by being overweight and trying to date girls, not bullies teasing me.

To me, unless you were physically beaten on a weekly basis, I don't understand all the trauma from verbal insults. They really are just words that go in one ear and out the other. As a kid you're not mature enough to handle it yeah but now that I'm older I laugh at how much of a wuss I must have been. Just nut up and tell the bullies to fuck off.

 

[DSK-]

No. I'd rather the option to stab them in the face.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

The best apology was to feel their hot tears and blood trickle all over my clenched fists while I was choking them to oblivion.

Apart from these very few instances, I stick to the plan of turning the other cheek.