Poll: Father in rural Germany finds his young son likes to wear dresses; does the same to show solidarity.

[BiscuitTrouser]

I saw an article today that made me really consider, like really consider, how we see gender roles. Even those of us who scoff and say we oppose them have to wonder. Do we REALLY oppose them? How far would we go? Heres an article for you, its in german so its basically german readers only (translation software really sucks).

http://www.emma.de/ressorts/artikel/kinder-jugendliche/vater-im-rock/

Basically a father discovers his young son who is 5 has a preference for dresses over any piece of clothing. In a fairly religious rural part of Germany this kid obviously didn't make a lot of friends with such a "strange" outfit. Rather than chastise his son or tell him that's how society is the father decided to also start wearing dresses to make him feel normal.

"Yes, I am one of those fathers who is trying to raise his children with gender equality. I'm not one of those pseudo-intellectual daddies that rambles on about studying gender justice, and then, as soon as the child is born, falls back into the comfortable and clichéd gender roles: he realizing himself through work, she taking care of the rest."

It raises a lot of interesting questions.

If this happened to you as parent what would you do, would you allow your young sons to start wearing dresses?

Would you endorse it like this father did?

Is it our "duty" as parents to make sure our child knows what society deems as normal and abnormal?

Even if it should be considered normal is it worth making your son stop just to save him from being a social periah where he lives?

Is forcing a conformity to baseless gender roles a lesser evil than letting your son get used to a choice he doesn't yet understand the consequences of?

Im interested escapist, what would you do? A poll is included. Im personally torn. Id love to think id be as open minded as this father. But social pressure is a strong force. I dont know if id have the guts to do this. Mega props to the father though. What a legend. Someone has an iron will to be there for his son. Gotta admire that.

 

[Euryalus]

I have no idea what I'd do, but more power to the father I guess. I don't find dresses to be very practical attire so in that sense I don't think its a good thing to encourage but neither should it be treated with contempt if that's what floats your boat.

That spiderman gif would probably be apropriate, but I'm on my phone so fuck it.

 

[Ruedyn]

I have no idea what I'd do, but more power to the father I guess. I don't find dresses to be very practical attire so in that sense I don't think its a good thing to encourage but neither should it be treated with contempt if that's what floats your boat.

That spiderman gif would probably be apropriate, but I'm on my phone so fuck it.

Inb4 'Did someone say spiderman thread?' pic.

I like this dad, plus this is kind of adorable. It'll probably draw more looks if the child KEEPS doing that.

 

[NegaWiki]

That's... heartwarming, to say the least. Young boy realizes he likes dresses, father does the same to respect him. In a rural German town too.
If I had a daughter who dressed in male clothes I probably wouldn't give a fuck, but that's because I dress pretty androgynous too.
While I'd be much more hesitant, I'd do the same as the father in the OP. But first I'd explain why these gender roles exist and if my son understands the implications of what he's wearing.

 

[InsanityRequiem]

I give this dad a whopping 4 thumbs up! Yes, both finger and both toe thumbs! If only I can remember where I saw a picture of a man that was decked out in "female" attire, I'd post that up there with a witty comment regarding how men too can be fashionable in dresses.

But social gender roles are a byproduct of a warring, disease infested time that is part of humanity's path. While rare, this father is a part of the future of equality and acceptance.

 

[JeffBergGold]

No way in hell would I let my son do that. Let it be known that I respect this man and what he is doing for his son. I just wouldn't do it personally. My son doesn't even have access to a dress. At least I would hope he doesn't.

 

[Sidiron]

The kid is 5, so I think the idea of explaining to him what gender roles are is a little pointless.
The father requires a bleeding award, it has restored a little of my belief in the human race, because we are rather handy at accepting that kids don't see the world the same as we do, and we'll all have a few tales about how a kid has said something, rather risqué but through sheer innocence and we find it endearing that they can be so honest and questioning however, usually, if they do anything that disagrees with our perceptions by too much we will chastise and tell them how they are wrong and don't know anything becuase they are too young.

I honestly don't know what I would do if a similar situation arose with a child of mine, though is unlikely will have any. Though I hope that I would be as brilliant as this man, especially considering he is pulling that dress/t-shirt combo off particularly well.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I?d just let him get on with it. Props to this father.

 

[Hagi]

Heh, pretty cool dad I think.

And whilst I fully agree with the basic principle, I do hope that he does also teach his son that there are situations as well where it's sometimes smarter to fit in to avoid unnecessary conflict.

 

[theblindedhunter]

This man.
Sometimes, people are bastards. Other times, people are awesome. This is the second one.

I'd let my (hypothetical, I'm not old enough for that yet) son wear dresses as quickly as I'd let my daughter wear a suit if she wanted to. Which is to say immediately. I want a society that does not tie sexes down to confining gender roles, and the only way to create that is to simply start.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

My answer to the poll (using a hypothetical son)
Might be the more selfish option, but I would not allow it (at least while hes a small child). I already stand out in a crowd, I dont need a son wearing a dress, since that would just bring more attention and attention is something I no longer crave (and I doubt I will when I have my own family).
Also to save from embarrasment in later life, because he might grow out of it and always be remembered as the kid in the dress.
If he doesnt grow out of it by 16, fine I'm not bothered if he cross dresses.

To the guy in Germany, he's a very good father for doing what he is doing. Truely selfless act.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Definitely support this. Forcing people into gender roles, hoping they'll just grow out of it or whatever...yeah, that can tends to go really badly.

 

[him over there]

While I do support this in principle the kid is 5, when you haven't even hit double digits yet this totally isn't about gender roles. Do you really think a just barely not-toddler can even comprehend the concept of gender identity contrary to actual sex. The kid just probably likes the way it looks. While the Father is very admirable this would have left a more lasting impression if the kid was like 14 or something.

 

[Phasmal]

I don't see why society is all freaked about dudes wearing dresses.
Ladies wearing trousers don't automatically become lesbians.

I've worked in a nursery and there are little boys who like to wear dresses, and we did not discourage it.
If you do discourage it and treat it as something shameful, then you're damaging your kid much more than if you just let them wear the damn dress, imo.

I'd encourage my kid to be who they are.

Seriously, the reaction to this is just weird.
You wouldn't flip out at a little girl in trousers, why flip out at a boy wearing a dress?

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

No idea what i'd do.

I'd like to think I wouldn't mind, I have a pretty relaxed attitude to gender stereotypes as it is, but honestly I don't know.

 

[Evil Smurf]

this is what we do in childcare, I know, I work in the industry.

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