Poll: Father in rural Germany finds his young son likes to wear dresses; does the same to show solidarity.

[miketehmage]

"Is forcing a conformity to baseless gender roles a lesser evil than letting your son get used to a choice he doesn't yet understand the consequences of?"

In my opinion, yes it is. Quite frankly boys shouldn't wear dresses. At that age he probably doesn't fully understand what he is doing but if he continues those habits he's going to get alot of shit for it.

Now, if he was older and made the decision that he wanted to wear a dress, then fair enough. But I don't think that at this young age he should be wearing one, and I don't think the father should be encouraging it. Because lets face it, trousers aren't that bad and the dress probably isn't worth the shit he'll get if he continues this way.

 

[MetalMonkey74]

Awesome dad. And fantastic picture too!

 

[octafish]

My son loves wearing his sister's dress ups, particularly the Snow White dress. He idolizes his sister, and he's two who cares? I don't, with no prompting from me or my wife, he loves cars and planes. I foresee many happy RC times between the two of us...before puberty ruins everything.

Is the father in that pic wearing a dress with a t-shirt over it, or just a skirt? Either way those colours aren't working for me.

 

[DugMachine]

Let's be honest here. The child most likely doesn't understand his actions and the father not taking the time to explain somewhat isn't helping. Courageous? Sure. The child still needs to understand difference in clothing for the genders.

 

[Rascarin]

I think this is awesome. Gender roles are outdated, and this man is very brave for taking this stance. And an amazing father for loving and supporting his son no matter what other people might think.

Frankly, I don't even get why this has to be an issue any more. If a little girl wanted to wear trousers, and her mum wore trousers too, it wouldn't be a story. Nobody would care. Why is it automatically bad or abnormal for a boy/man to rock the proverbial gender boat? Wearing a dress is not harmful to the boy. Peoples narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes are.

 

[The_Waspman]

My biggest problem here is the colour of the dress the kid is wearing. Red? Please, that is so last season!

 

[Ghonesis]

I don't think I'd let me son wear dresses because the chances of getting bullied for it at school are 100%.
Besides, the kid is 5. What does he know? If he'd be 15 or 16 I perhaps would allow it: his clothes are his own choice at that age.
But a 5-year-old? I don't really think so, tbh. :/ I know it's his own choice and all and maybe that's really how he is...
But the boy still has to change a lot in his life, maybe he'll regret the awkward moments later.

 

[Vivi22]

Quite frankly boys shouldn't wear dresses.

Why?

At that age he probably doesn't fully understand what he is doing but if he continues those habits he's going to get alot of shit for it.

But the point is that he shouldn't get shit for it. There's no rational reason why boys or men shouldn't be allowed to wear dresses. Arbitrary societal norms with no basis in rationality should be fought. But moreover, how much harm will it really do? The boy will likely start to realize very quickly that he's the only, or one of the only, little boys who wears a dress and either stop of his own volition or be teased one day and learn the valuable lesson that people are assholes.

And I don't find the idea that kids will tease him to be a valid reason to force him to stop now when it hasn't been an issue. The reality is that kids can and will tease for any reason. Doesn't matter if you're wearing a dress. Doesn't even matter if you did something wrong or made the mistake of not fitting in. Odds are every kid has been teased at some point by some other kid.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Dresses suit the dad much more than the kid. That's all I'm throwing in there.

 

[excalipoor]

I thought someone was going to drown again.

Much as I'd like to say "go dad!", I don't think the boy's peers are going to be so understanding. Challenging gender roles by wearing dresses? Wasn't that already done when pants became pretty much gender neutral? When I was five, I got picked on just for playing with girls, and frankly, I'm glad my mother never got me a dress.

 

[el_kabong]

I'd come to a compromise, and make him wear wizard robes.

Ninja'd. In all honesty, I would not support my son wearing dresses at that age. Reason being is that I'm definitely a "nurture-ist" (nature vs. nurture argument...look it up). My concern is that odd behaviors that I reinforce as a parent (in this case the wearing of dresses) could become a set pattern for this child's life without them having a logical say in it.

At this point in their life, I doubt any 5-year old is considering the gender and social ramifications of his actions. They are probably just wearing dresses because of some positive, tactile reinforcement (maybe dresses are a lot less restrictive). Because they can not directly understand the social risks that they are taking, parents need to adequately mirror societal norms so that, should the boy reach an age where he's able to consider the risks with some intelligence, he'll already have a sort of understanding what these choices mean. A good analog would be diet. Kids (at least all of them that I know) want to eat junk food. As a parent, you have to measure providing them with what they want (sugar) with what they need (vitamins and such).

When you reinforce the socially abnormal as completely acceptable, you are not preparing your child to integrate into social settings with any sort of ease. Once they hit school age, they may still make friends and gain acceptance, but it will potentially be more difficult. Kids in my class would have had a field day with a boy in a dress. The boy may gradually gain acceptance, but it may be a very "Boy Named Sue" type of acceptance, where it comes through heartache/pain.

As for those who say that he'll grow out of it. It's very possible. However, consider that, in these days of the internet, I know who this kid is from across the world. I can only imagine the horrifyingly embarrassing things that this generation (who will have grown up their whole lives with their parents posting whatever happens to them as a kid on Facebook) will have to suffer through because of the internet's way of never letting you escape what's already out of the box.

I'm not trying to be sexist (though I know that's what people will claim me), I just think it's unfair to set up a child who doesn't understand the consequences of their choices for future heartache and embarrassment because you want to seem like the most understanding parent in the world.

 

[DugMachine]

The child still needs to understand difference in clothing for the genders.

Why should this child - or anybody else, for that matter - decide which manner of dress they should wear based on what other people determine is right or wrong? Why should anybody in the world factor in to a personal decision that any given person makes that harms no one and infringes on no one's rights?

I didn't say to force the kid to stop wearing them did I? I said there is no harm in letting him know he's different and at least trying to make him understand. Kids can be fucking cruel and learning the lesson from your loving father or your 'friends' picking on you can make a world of difference.

The child most likely wears the dresses for reasons completely unrelated to gender and that's fine, hell even if he wants to be a girl at heart I wouldn't stop my son but totally ignoring the fact that he's different only sets him up for shit later in life. This is all assuming the father hasn't done this already but still decided to wear the dress anyways. Either way my issue is not the dress it's concern for the kids social experience.

 

[FamoFunk]

Awesome Dad is awesome.

Seriously, the kid is 5 and like to dress up like 5 year olds do. OMG IT'S A DRESS THOUGH! Who gives a fuck?

My 3.5 year old Girl loves dressing up as a princess yet thinks a Spiderman costume is the shit. She also loves playing kitchen and big monster trucks, should the "boy" things be discouraged? No.

 

[Rainboq]

this is what we do in childcare, I know, I work in the industry.

.......

4300th post

Congrats on the post count!

OT: This father. Get him a medal. As for any hypothetical child of mine cross dressing? I sure as fuck wouldn't discourage it, then again, women are typically allowed to wear more varieties of clothing, so it wouldn't be a problem for me. As for a spouse? Since I don't go for the Y chromosome, again, not a problem.

 

[Penguinis Weirdus]

Sorry as a firm Eddie Izzard fan (and wannabe transvestite, its a bugger getting the shoes cheap and large enough), I say watch this from about 26mins that is why the wearing of dresses only by the girls is not fair and we blokes should remedy this because:

a. As mentioned earlier it is good for the testicles to be cooler this is easier to acheive with floaty dresses that stuffy trousers.
b. We blokes will look FAAAABULOUS!

Spoiler

 

[Rainboq]

Umm. Beat the child? I dont know. It's likely a phase that the kid will grow out of. If not, he's in for a rough time later in life.

Please tell me you're joking about the first part. As for the rest, if it isn't a phase, how rough things will be later in life largely relies on how much the child's parents support the child. As trans kids who start taking hormones before their late twenties are basically indistinguishable from people born of that sex.

 

[Rainboq]

No way in hell would I let my son do that. Let it be known that I respect this man and what he is doing for his son. I just wouldn't do it personally. My son doesn't even have access to a dress. At least I would hope he doesn't.

Why wouldn't you want that? If you don't mind me asking.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

In all seriousness, I'm wouldn't let my son wear a dress. A skirt, however, yes, because guys can actually look cool when wearing a skirt. A guy wearing a dress doesn't look cool. They just look silly. This ain't anything to do with gender roles, guys, but instead a matter of aesthetics.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Seriously, the reaction to this is just weird.

I was more reacting to "Father doesnt bullshit when hes against gender roles, has guts of iron to stand up for what he thinks where many might fall short" than "Kid wears a dress". We also have to accept that in society this IS seen as weird! We are not at the stage where its "normal" yet. Its similar to someone saying "Well its just a woman wearing trousers" back when basically no women wore trousers. As much as it should be it wasnt normal and this isnt "normal". The fact a kickass dad shows it through and through is worthy of merit. Also reading this story makes me warm inside. Im allowed that at least

EDIT: Poor wording made me sound horrible.

 

[Phasmal]

Seriously, the reaction to this is just weird.

I was more reacting to "Father doesnt bullshit when hes against gender roles, has guts of iron to stand up for what he thinks where many might fall short" than "Kid wears a dress". We also have to accept that in society this IS seen as weird! We are not at the stage where its "normal" yet. Its similar to someone saying "Well its just a woman wearing trousers" back when basically no women wore trousers. As much as it should be it wasnt normal and this isnt "normal". The fact a kickass dad shows it through and through is worthy of merit. Also reading this story makes me warm inside. Im allowed that at least

EDIT: Poor wording made me sound horrible.

I didn't mean your reaction.
I meant, I've seen this reported on other websites and a bunch of people were saying that kid is going to be massively messed up and comparing letting your kid wear a dress to child abuse.
That is the reaction that I think is weird.