Poll: Friendship between Men and Women or The Ladder Theory

[Pimppeter2]

Hm, I couldn't say that I agree or disagree.

(Now I know people are going to find it weird and disagree with me, but idc just listen)

Sex to me is pretty important, as well as who my partners are. I'm pretty damn picky. Its just that I don't believe many people deserve the intimacy with me that comes with sex. I don't "put out" to just anyone, is what I'm saying. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a male and sometimes I break this code out of boredom or frustration, but I'm much more inclined to having less intimate oral sex (for me, when I do do it for her its just as intimate for me as sex, so same rules apply) with most of my dates. I'm a bit weird, so I wont really go for sex itself unless the girl I'm with has kind of proven herself, in a way, if that makes sense.

Now as far as this sexual ideology goes with the Ladder theory, it would mean that the only girls I would sleep with are my best friends. Which I guess is true, come to think of it. That being said I would probably never touch any of them, they're like sisters to me. And this is getting into the realm of Freudian shit so I'm just going to stop.

 

[jamesworkshop]

makes sence to me

males see all females as potentional lowest to highest probability of sexual encounter

females have a friend zone ladder

males and female cannot be friends as guys make no such distinction, female friend are thoses you have not slept with yet

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

The phrase that comes to mind to describe the Ladder Theory is "patent bull shit".
Followed immediately by "jive nonsense".

edit-

I realize my response may be considered offensive, but the theory itself is much more offensive in my view, due to its untrue accusations made against me by its generalized accusations against half of the human population.

 

[hyzaku]

a theory is a unproven concept, therefore has to be tested

I'm talking about a scientific theory, which is actually different than the "theory" most people talk about. In science a theory is an explanation backed up by all available evidence. Basically a theory has already been tested and is currently the best answer available unless evidence can be supported that disproves a theory.

This link explains what I am talking about.

http://chemistry.about.com/od/chemistry101/a/lawtheory.htm

It is a common problem that the word theory has a specific meaning to scientists but somehow ended up with an entirely different meaning to everyone else. As someone invested in the sciences I obviously side with the definition used in science. I would prefer if the term could be changed to something else to avoid confusion like this, but "tradition" will fight that change.

 

[Tomo Stryker]

I think its hilarious that this was wrote from a woman's standpoint only. If you really want to make this "study" a real thing get at least more than two frat boys as your "manly" research. Utter bullshit indeed.

 

[BlueGlowstick]

I am a girl and I only had one ladder during school: guys that were idiots. Lol.

But my guy friends (yep.) didn't like me like that. They had girlfriends. But I flirted!!

Edit: my first bday reply! I'm 19 before anyone asks?

 

[Iron Mal]

I would have to say that this whole 'ladder' premise is pure bollocks.

It is basically trying to make the male stereotype/double standard of us being sex addicts who only think with our dicks into a scientific theory (which is a rather bold generalisation to make).

In plain english this hypothesis would be saying that men only judge women based on how much they want to fuck them (but the nice, smart ladies are different, they actually see people as people). This may apply to some people (point in case, anyone who has ernestly referred to their significant other as a 'hoe') but for the most of us this couldn't be further from the truth (and appears to be a hypothesis based largely in misandry and radical feminism).

Basically, this would be the psychological/sociological equivilent of saying stuff like 'women belong in the kitchen' and 'all men are rapists'.

 

[mirror's edgy]

So how many times has this Dr. Lynn been hit on by her "just friends"?

 

[baddude1337]

Well my best friend is a girl and I don't even think of her in that way so it's total BS.

Sorry to ask, but why not?

She's your best friend, so I assume you communicate very well, and enjoy spending time together. That's what you should have in a relationship isn't it?

It's a bit personal to ask, I know, but I'm facing a similar problem right now. I'd like the view of the opposite side

That is what you have in a relationship, but what you have in one that you don't have in a friendship is sex and physical attraction. I know she is very attractive and did like her once, but as a good friend of mine I just don't see her that way, its just more talking and spending time together and nothing physical.

I did have a best friend several years ago that I did really like A LOT, even when I had a girl friend at the time. If you do like your friend I'd look for any signs to show that he/she likes you back, and if you have a very strong friendship just ask her/him about it, if you are rejected then at least you can remain good friends.

 

[crunchieman]

I might not like it but I do agree with it.

Wait actually, what happens with family members of the opposite sex?

 

[Samwise137]

That's bologna. I have more friends who are women than I do friends who are men.

 

[Plurralbles]

Um... I wouldn't kick any of my female friends out of the bed if they were so inclined to go for it.

 

[GonzoGamer]

This theory is based on the assumption that every single man on earth thinks entirely with his dick.
I know little evidence supports any thoughts otherwise but I've known a few women that I enjoy being friends with but do not want to sleep with. One of them actually introduced me to my wife.
These kind of assumptions actually strains friendships. A couple of friends of mine recently ended their male/female plutonic friendship because the male got a new girlfriend who wants to be the only girl. They were introduced by his sister who relationship has also become strained because of the girlfriend. I can't help but feel that he doesn't really know what's going on. So I don't know either but just because some guys think every other guy thinks with his dick, doesn't mean its true.

 

[beniki]

Well my best friend is a girl and I don't even think of her in that way so it's total BS.

Sorry to ask, but why not?

She's your best friend, so I assume you communicate very well, and enjoy spending time together. That's what you should have in a relationship isn't it?

It's a bit personal to ask, I know, but I'm facing a similar problem right now. I'd like the view of the opposite side

That is what you have in a relationship, but what you have in one that you don't have in a friendship is sex and physical attraction. I know she is very attractive and did like her once, but as a good friend of mine I just don't see her that way, its just more talking and spending time together and nothing physical.

I did have a best friend several years ago that I did really like A LOT, even when I had a girl friend at the time. If you do like your friend I'd look for any signs to show that he/she likes you back, and if you have a very strong friendship just ask her/him about it, if you are rejected then at least you can remain good friends.

I already did, and I'm awaiting the fall out. I just can't work out the difference between the best friend who you find attractive, and then the boy/girlfriend.

It just seems weird to me. You have this person who you spend a lot of time with, and share some fairly deep and personal things, and then go have a relationship with someone else. What would that other person think? How would you explain it? I talk to this person but make out with you. I share my mind with this person, but you get my body.

Perhaps it's the difference between best and close friend. Maybe I'm focused too much on the mind. To me, my girl friend should also be my best friend. I just don't understand how any other way can work.

Bah, my robot brain is malfunctioning again. Does not compute. Error. Redofromstart.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

Nope, I disagree. While there are fewer women on my "just friends" list than my umm ... "potential partner" list, it's still there.

 

[Lieju]

a theory is a unproven concept, therefore has to be tested

Not in a scientific context. What you're thinking is called a hypothesis.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-theory-and-a-hypothesis.htm

As for the Ladder theory, it's BS.

 

[nunqual]

Pretty much bullshit there pal. I have a couple of attractive friends who are female, who I would never fuck.

Also, that's a pretty sexist theory. Men don't just think with their dicks y'know. We have that lump of tissue in our head for a reason.

 

[End]

Evidently not true (for me at least). I'm heterosexual, and yet alot of my closest friends are female, and I don't think about them in a sexual way, I just view them as being friends.

 

[DVS Storm]

Umm.. I have many friends that are women. And I have no desire to have sex with them(and no I'm not gay). So I guess it ruins this theory then...