Poll: Girls Don't Like Assholes.

[lunavixen]

you both right and wrong, some girls do like the total douches (myself thankfully not included), but most don't, a lot of this kind of attitude between guys and girls is probably miscommunication. Then again, this is my completely unprofessional opinion as i know VERY little on the subject of relationships

 

[TeapartyTokyo]

You, Sir, are a hero and I applaud this with all my heart! I hope everybody reads this ^^;

Confidence is actually a very good word here, as it kind of seems to me like the terms 'asshole' and 'douchebags' are being used very broadly to refer to all the guys who have the guts to chat us up, ask us out and even tell us straight up that they like us...
It just really bothers me when guys feel entitles to whine about not getting a girl they've barely even spoken to. We're not mind readers.

 

[Eamar]

Stop lumping us together like some horrible mass of tits, ass, mysteries and judgement.

I love this. I think I might start using it. Just wanted to congratulate you

Use away. its what it feels like. Stop treating girls like some boss that you can conquer with the right strategy. Guys can be complicated, girls can be complicated. Its just idiotic to think otherwise.

Ummm... I'm a girl. And I agree with you.

I wasn't meaning that towards you, sorta elaborating on how I feel about it. sorry, halfway awake and didn't finish what I was saying. XD Forgive me.

Haha I know that feeling. No offence taken

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

Agreeing with the confidence thing but also adding this:

Some girls are attracted to straight up assholes o.o depends on the girl. I got one friend who only goes for guys who are already hooked on someone else they can't be with AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SHE DOES THIS! Seriously, if a guy's Ex has the same first name as you and he's asking you to change your hair to look like hers, these should be warning signs! I would also describe this as asshole behaviour.

For an equal ops moment, I also got a male friend who only seems to go for girls who are most accurately described as 'ridiculously thin with very little pigment' who likewise treat him pretty poorly so guys can go for assholes too.

So... yeah. SOME girls go for Assholes. Others don't.

And Muffins are DELICIOUS.

 

[Smeatza]

There is always Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia
Although that probably only affects a very small amount of people.

 

[Phisi]

I would agree with you there as for the course of human civilisation it has been women who decided on manners and etiquette and thus also decide on who is declared an arsehole.

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

Some women like assholes,
Some women don't.
Because, y'know, not all of them think the exact same way.

(Although if women were in fact a hive mind, It would substantiate my theory that they were trying to take over the world...)

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

Stop lumping us together like some horrible mass of tits, ass, mysteries and judgement.

I love this. I think I might start using it. Just wanted to congratulate you

Use away. its what it feels like. Stop treating girls like some boss that you can conquer with the right strategy. Guys can be complicated, girls can be complicated. Its just idiotic to think otherwise.

I love it when guys make threads like this, it starts off stupid and gradually gets worse, Then the Hive mind theories start to come out and I am slowly becoming more and more ashamed of my gender, And then the internet releases a chunk of gold. You are an internet chunk o' gold, and I would shake you by the hand, but this is a text based conversation.

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

Stop lumping us together like some horrible mass of tits, ass, mysteries and judgement.

I love this. I think I might start using it. Just wanted to congratulate you

Use away. its what it feels like. Stop treating girls like some boss that you can conquer with the right strategy. Guys can be complicated, girls can be complicated. Its just idiotic to think otherwise.

I love it when guys make threads like this, it starts off stupid and gradually gets worse, Then the Hive mind theories start to come out and I am slowly becoming more and more ashamed of my gender, And then the internet releases a chunk of gold. You are an internet chunk o' gold, and I would shake you by the hand, but this is a text based conversation.

That's why I skip to the end of the thread and just witness the effect of the shitstorm than waiting for it to build.

That's...Actually a pretty good strategy.

 

[Nerexor]

I've honestly stopped caring one way or the other. I have enough trouble even meeting anyone within 10 years of my age group to worry about some girl going out with a guy that for whatever reason I might think is a jerk (though for all I know they could be awesome).

People have a myriad of tastes and other people are going to have an equal number of opinions on those tastes. I think a lot of where the idea that girls/guys are dating assholes or bitches comes from is if we look at someone we want and see someone else having it, there is a response of basic jealousy. You want it, you can't have it, you get a little angry, and then denigrate the person who does have it. Goes for everything. Some guy has a fancy car you really want? He must be some rich asshole who's never worked a day in his life. Some girl has the bag you really want? Her sugar daddy must have bought it for her. See a kid buying some game you want? He must have screamed at mommy and daddy until they gave him the money.

It's really, really, easy to ascribe negative explanations out of jealousy. For all you know the guy in the fancy car is driving his bosses car to the shop. The girl got the bag as a gift from her family, and the kid worked his butt off at a fast food restaurant to afford that game. And maybe that guy with the hot girl on his arm isn't an asshole. Unless he's wearing a baseball cap on sideways. Then he's clearly a douche.

 

[Snowbell]

Here's a girl come to share her opinion!

As I see it, the reason we put guys in the friendzone is because we're just not attracted to them. But, recently I've noticed something else.

There was a guy who was interested in me. At first, I wasn't interested in him, but he continued being friendly and attentive and I began to like him, thinking he must really like me.

Then, he revealed to us that he, in fact, would pay attention to any girl he thought he had a chance with. So, in fact, he didn't 'like' me, he just thought he could maybe get me into bed. Safe to say I nope'd hard and lost any feelings I had gained for him.

Guys complain when girls are too easy. They complain when we're not easy enough. The 'nice' girls you think should go out with you want to be loved. They want to think they mean more to you than just a committed friend-with-benefits. When you throw too wide a net you'll have trouble bringing it back in, so to speak.

In my opinion, it has nothing to do with confidence. So long as you really like the girl and are attractive (this isn't difficult, just keep clean, dress well and maybe shed a few pounds if there's a need (you can't expect to get an attractive girl if you're not willing to put effort into being attractive yourself)) then she may come to like you over time, if you really are 'nice' and approach her with pure intentions rather than 'hurrhurr I can put my penis in her vagina if I'm nice' then she may come around.

So, let's make a checklist!
1: Do you really like her? If no, find another girl to go after
2: Is there anything physically that would make you unattractive to her (eg excessive sweating) If so, sort it out
3: Does she know you like her? If not, let her know
4: To use a cooking metaphor, put it on to simmer - occasionally check in on her, maybe pay her some attention occasionally, but don't go on too strong or you'll ruin it.

Remember to re-evaluate step 1 occasionally, if you don't like her or you think she's not going to come around it's best to find someone new. And most important to remember; don't get creepy. If you don't know what would entail creepy then you need to go brush up on your social skills.

There's no guarantee it will work, but if you genuinely like her and there's nothing wrong with you then I see no reason she won't like you back eventually. After all, I've done enough generalising in this post to say that guys are all the same.

 

[Bassik]

Girls are all part of a hivemind so incredibly vast and powerful, it creates a shadow in warpspace and causes terror in the hearts of psychics. And when the tendrils of the women hive fleet finally arrives, a full scale invasion will start.
Spores raining from the skies, most microscopic, some gargantuan, housing the myriad of monsters designed to quickly overrun a planet. At this point, the dreaded digestion pools start to form, and the gorged women jump into them, quickly and efficiently converting all the planet's bio-mass into resources the hive fleet can use. The surviving women in space then move on to their next meal, leaving a scorched, lifeless rock behind.

You better pray to Emperor Jesus that the hive fleet does not run into a Manly Waaagh!!
It is known that men thrive on warfare, growing larger, more powerful, more cunning and higher levels of technology the longer a war goes on. Since both men and women are not just armies, but an entire mobile eco system, their wars can go on for centuries, creating truly horrific monsters on both sides.

The only thing we can do in that situation is to call an exterminatus on the entire sector.

Thought for the day: Fear the Alien.

EDIT: What are you guys talking about? Did everyone forget to take their brain medicine? You know, the one that doesn't make you crazy?

Cause if you need some I got a lot in my medicine cabinet....

 

[runic knight]

I'm sure someone's probably posted this already, but there does seem to be stages to relationships and during those, women, and men for that matter, look for different traits.
As the topic started said, confidence is important, at least at the start. People see someone confident because they make themselves noticed. They draw attention to themselves and even if they are a complete asshole, people tend to have blinders on for the most part and rarely notice other people in an attraction way if they don't stand out somehow. It is only after the initial start of a relationship that what people want tends to change. Confidence is less important then commitment and reliability. But since people don't look for that at the start, it is harder to find. Really feels like a lot of people shoot themselves in the foot that way, looking for one type of person when wanting another (or at least another set of traits) in a longer relationship.

I see a number of people looking down on the quiet guys, and it is kinda depressing. Especially considering most of those same people defend people who may well be assholes as merely being confident and saying to think otherwise is judging them before they know them. Quiet guys deserve some love too, yet I would be surprised to see too many women seeking them out over the bolder ones. Which is where the notion comes from in the first place, I think. Women choose the assholes because they are the only ones being loud enough to be noticed. They then crash and burn in the relationships and the quite guys look at the scene and draw the conclusion that the women are stupid. While it does makes sense why a woman would choose the confident, as they are the only ones noticed, I can't help but think of something I heard concerning apes. The males seeking a mate would make displays, get attention, even negative and make a show to attract a mate. And yet here another primate species is showing it's roots and doing the same.

Now I am not saying this is fact, mostly just my thoughts on the matter concerning patterns I see. Doesn't even mean all I see is this. But there does seem to be similarities in how other primates attract attention and the general way people do, and there does seem to be a change in what men and women are seeking as the relationship goes on. Perhaps it may be better to abandon older notions about how men meet women (getting a lot of "guy has to talk to/impress girl" vibe here, like it is some standard method), and encourage both men and women to instead be more evolved in the way they choose dates and how they relationships.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Most psychological and sociological data would tend to disagree with you. Especially for more recent generations, as far as likes/dislikes go.

But for site like the Escapist in particular, you're going to see this kind of complaining that you're talking about because of the kind of interests this site attracts; video games, anime, collectables, etc. Things which are decidedly unpopular with women.

And if you have a bunch of people all in one place who like the same thing, things that are generally disliked by women and therefore would likely lead to the people in question not being terribly popular with women, you're going to see a higher concentration of this kind of problem.

Go elsewhere, say to a sports, or an educational site of something like that, and you're not nearly as likely to see it. Know your demographic.

 

[MaxiP62]

I voted yes as soon as I saw you say 'Confidence'

I am currently 15, so I hear all this stuff that guys are saying about girls quite a lot. However, I'm not overly popular; hence me coming here every night, but I am still somehow moderately successful with girls.

Of course, I'm only 15 so what you could call a relationship has only really JUST started mattering, but girls do generally like me despite my lack of popularity simply because I have what my friends don't have, and that is confidence. I'm pretty sure that's it anyway, because I haven't really got anything else going for me.

So yes, I agree with you 100%.

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

Here's a girl come to share her opinion!

There's no guarantee it will work, but if you genuinely like her and there's nothing wrong with you then I see no reason she won't like you back eventually. After all, I've done enough generalising in this post to say that guys are all the same.

Oooooh snap.
Brilliant advice AND an awesome burn. Have an internet.

 

[Snowbell]

Here's a girl come to share her opinion!

There's no guarantee it will work, but if you genuinely like her and there's nothing wrong with you then I see no reason she won't like you back eventually. After all, I've done enough generalising in this post to say that guys are all the same.

Oooooh snap.
Brilliant advice AND an awesome burn. Have an internet.

Thank you, I happily accept my internet ^_^

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Personally speaking, when I was in my mid teens I'd get absolutely no play from the women. I was polite, friendly and keen to understand them. In my late teens I finally decided "nice guys DO finish last" and I vastly altered my personality to become this arrogant, confident, non-caring rogue of a character and the women flocked to me. I had more game than I knew what to do with.
What I did learn was that while women do seem attracted to that "arsehole" type character, when you start to get to the serious part of the relationship they want to the type of guy I was before. Case in point, my wife. She was attracted to the over-confident narcisist but now we're married she wants the stable, genial guy that she can depend on and trust and I'm having trouble going back to the person I "was"; who is probably the person I really am.
Anyway, save yourself the therapy money that I'm forking out at the moment and just be true to who you are. I know it's all "touchy feely" and stuff but it saves having an identity crisis at 30.

B.T.W CM Punk is awesome.

Are you sure that you were as nice of a guy as you thought? Or at least for the right reasons? I can't help but wonder about the motivation of someone who stops being a nice guy once they realize it's not getting any action for it. Not trying to judge you here, I don't know you, and I'm just expanding this out from the context you've given, but shouldn't someone who is legitimately a nice guy act like that regardless of female attention?

Not saying that you're the arrogant rogue (can't help but think of Han Solo from that) that you turned yourself into, but was the nice guy phase motivated by wanting action and ditched when it didn't yield results?

(Once again, I don't know you so I'm not making judgments on your character. I'm just curious)