Poll: grades or relationship?
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I'd say that the two are roughly as important as eachother, however it is possible to have both. I'm delighted to say I have both right now.
The point of good grades is you WON'T end up in the 7/11 9 to 5 job, except maybe as a regional manager or something. At which point you get an awesome car/house, at which point you roll in the poon-tang.Rahnzan said:
If you fail at school for your school sweet heart, the hotter they are the more likely they'll end up leaving you for that book worm who's now earning 4 times what you do. Peoples priorities shift later in life, and women (usually) want security, which comes from money in this day and age.
I'm not saying you MUST shun all contact with the opposite gender, just don't get so caught up in chasing tail that you end up failing at school. Then again if you do, the world does need working class people... (That's blue collar workers for you yanks, I think)
Good grades aren't a guarantee to success. They never have been. My dad can build a nuclear bomb with the shit he knows but he spent his life as a corrections officer.Danzaivar said:
You may need scientists and doctors but someone still has to scrub the toilets. Japan's got a hell of a lot of A+ students, you can bet most of them are in a sweat shop somewhere. All of my A+ friends? They went to college. The ones that have gotten out of college are still doing the same job they were doing since sophomore summer break and guess what, economic slump. No one is highering, and the ones that are highering are employing people with experience, not grades.
With out that veil of importance, your parents tell you its important, your teachers tell you its important, your peers tell you its important. But when you finally get out of school (highschool, college...) all that matters is what you can DO, not what you know. Knew a guy who could do calculus in his head and only needed a few seconds with a piece of paper to figure out trig, guess what he's doing with his life?
Nuthin, literally lives in his parent's basement. He's taking a course to become a policeman, lot fat good his As did him eh?
That hottie isn't going to leave her man for a bookworm until she's carrying a kid and he skips town. People like to think being smart is sexy...it aint. I'm not what anyone would call sexy either, and I know shit. Wheres my pussy? Tell ya where, marrying the football jock making 12 dollars an hour on a construction yard. The OP wanted to know what the best route for his friend was. Excellent grades, or Good grades. No one mentioned failing out of school. Learned from experience, dont waste your time with something as 'permenant' as grades. You think a 40 year old man goes in to apply for a job so they call up his grades from 20 years ago? They're MEANINGLESS. I've been beat out for job opportunities by people who dropped out of highschool and I'm in college. They aren't as important as your peers would like to believe they are. Tell me what exactly about an A+ in science is going to get you a job as a Second Class Steam Engineer? What about an A+ in Gym is going to get you the quarterback position?
Come to think of it the only job I can think of that benefits from high grades are Engineers. But if everyones planning on how to build stuff who's going to actually build it?
Public High School: 46% Average (First they count gym at that school and second my teachers intentionally failing me certainly made those three years fun)
Home School from grades 10-12: 88-92% Average (One course I messed up on, should have taken a make up really; nonetheless fifteen and I was finished high school)
Girlfriend: Never had one, still do not, although by choice.
Case in point, if I had to choose, definitely the grades, it should be a no brainer really, especially since high school relationships rarely last. However grades mean nothing in the real world, it is what you do to strive for success with the knowledge you have that matters.
Home School from grades 10-12: 88-92% Average (One course I messed up on, should have taken a make up really; nonetheless fifteen and I was finished high school)
Girlfriend: Never had one, still do not, although by choice.
Case in point, if I had to choose, definitely the grades, it should be a no brainer really, especially since high school relationships rarely last. However grades mean nothing in the real world, it is what you do to strive for success with the knowledge you have that matters.
Not disputing your numbers or life experiences but what are you doing now? Or if nothing what do you plan on doing?Bourne said:
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I dont get what all this 'highschool relationships rarely last' crap is. First of all, the ones that dont last are a learning experience, how will you ever get to marrying if you dont even know how to date? Secondly, everyone I know in a lasting happy relationship right now is currently dating someone they started dating or even just met in highschool. Me? I didn't date, I sacrificed my social life right up until Junior year in highschool and it wasn't fucking worth it. Now I'm in college, got a 3.5 and I still dont know how to talk to girls.
For the love of fuck dont do what I did damnit. You know what I remember about the prime of my life? Pages. Not even the text in those pages. Just pages, sheets of ground up and pounded flat trees wrapped up in tanned cow hide printed with ink made from assorted plants, liquidated carbon and insect shells, the scrawlings within nothing more than a blur of garbled language. All I can remember is the crick in my neck and the innane (in hindsite) babble of a biology teacher to old to still be breathing according to medical science. Now I'm an 'adult' whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean with no job. Good grades dont gaurantee someone is wiping off a welcome mat for you in some successful business. I didn't socialize, I dont know anyone, and the only reason any of my A+ frineds have any jobs is because they either got them in highschool or new a guy. I cant even count how many of them took an engineering class. None of them are engineers. Yeah I can fault them for not applying themselves but a wasted academic is a wasted academic no matter how you slice the pie. They could have been socializing, networking, going to parties, living life, making friends, dying with more than a small handful of individuals remembering that at one time on this stupid planet they were ALIVE.
Dont...Fucking...Do...What...I...Did. I'm only 21, I can probably still fix the shitty mess I'm in but its not easy. Good grades are simple to fix if you honestly want excellent grades. BUT YOU LIVE ONCE.
I rather end up in a cheap-ass, low wage 'flipping burgers'-ish job and have the love of my life, then having a succesfull carrier and being lonely. Money isn't important for me, so I pick love. Problem is, right now, I don't have good grades AND no relationship. I never dated, I never did anything for school, hurray...
I'm not saying an A in maths is also followed by a free job as chief economic adviser to IBM, but grades showing you work hard and are an achiever are gonna look way better at an interview than an F with the excuse 'I was in love dammit! Nothings more important!'.Rahnzan said:
I don't know your circumstances, but I can tell you with mine, the jobs I look at (Like, big software companies in London) need a 1st with a Masters Degree to even get your CV looked at. A US green card, via employment, requires you have either a Masters Degree or 12 years of relevant work experience. If you don't want to do anything big with your life, then grades don't matter. If you want to do as well as you possibly can, good grades are a good start.
That 40 year old in the interview won't be relying on his highschool grades for his job, but his first job will have needed that. And his employer WILL be looking through his employment history.
But you're right, there's a recession now, people aren't hiring. We should just stop trying to get ourselves ready for the upturn, because it's all pointless. Yeesh.
[edit: LOL I thought rahnzan was speaking about people with jobs and success as in adults, of COURSE you aren't going to have any money while you're still a student. you've probably just got depression from studying all the time, when I say 'later on it changes' i mean like 30+]
Just a nitpick, I never said fail. Your points aren't invalid otherwise. And yeah on the adults thing. My definition of an adult is being 21+ and required by society to realize there are certain expectations of responsibility you need to uphold. Job status isn't an adult thing, otherwise there'd be no such thing as a summer job.Danzaivar said:
Forsaking a social life to get great grades so that you can acquire a job that your employer assumes you will put as much effort in as you did your academic carrier...nnnnnnnnndoesn't leave a whole lot of that 'me time' for being alive.
If you cant get an A+ without working your ass off and putting off social life, then you cant maintain a job that requires the same dedication without again putting off your social life.
Everyone would like to think Bill Gates is living in a penthouse eating grapes off of hookers but he's worked every day of his life. Unless you become a rap star you're not likely to ever catch a break. Good grades and good life or great grades and no life is the debate the OP presented us.
I'm also aware of the 30+ thing and the first job thing. We're dealing with Highschool kids. I'm doing fine and yeah I am depressed about the choices I made in highschool. I can apply myself just fine but I overworked in highschool and now I dont have a social life beyond this computer. Give me a skill and I'll learn it in a month and be able to do the job you tell me to but...bleh.
The OP and his friend are still in those wonder years where big fancy adult stuff isn't going to matter a whole lot, and they're going to want to live it up. My main focus:
Good grades good life > Great grades no life.
You can get a fine job with a fine education, you can get a great job later, you cant make up for the years you lose in highschool (or college) by bookworming it. You get to party but once in your life, and that's mostly while you're still a kid. I'm going for psychology, let me tell you, my fantastic grades dont mean shit in that field.
So OP. If you or your friend want no regrets, and if socializing doesn't put your grades in the hole, I recommend being a teeanger. You've got the rest of your life to be an adult, you only get 7 to be a young adult.
If you cant maintain good grades and a relationship then you arent going to be able to maintain good grades in college either. so just enjoy your life and have a relationship.
Relationships are fickle. After high school you may never see anyone from high school again for years. Grades will determine where you go to college(partially) which will have a large influence on future possibility and your life. I'm going with grades. Of course grades don't fill the emptiness inside like a friend *looks at own grades and weeps*.
No offensive mate however you sound like a drama queen; depicting the absolute worst scenarios not having a girlfriend during high school could amount to and in addition citing how unfulfilling life may well be because of it. To answer your question, no I am currently not doing anything with the high school knowledge, which I strongly believe is utterly useless. However I have been working towards setting the building blocks for my own company, although I have been delayed some time and thus am relaxing, albeit money is tight; nothing much I can do about that.Rahnzan said:
My social life is admittedly entirely Internet based, despite that I have some pretty awesome friends; better than I ever had in real life. My social skills are top notch and I can talk to girls at the drop of a hat, in spite of the fact I spend virtually no time socializing and have not beyond e-friends and mother in quite a while.
How did I accomplish this? It is called confidence mate. I use to be shy, nervous and lacked any form of self esteem, yet after my one and only emo moment back in that horrendous public high school where the troubles reached a boiling point, to the where suicide became thought. I decided no, I was going to force myself to become confident and it took some doing however by sixteen I was well on my way and seventeen, I was an entirely different person.
I became and am even more so now, extremely confident, arrogant, no longer care what people think, a jokester and can talk to whomever I please with ease. I do not need a girlfriend to develop experience, I did my research and while it may not be hands on, it is quite sufficient because when I decide I actually want to date, I am more than able. Of course at this time I am career focused and completely apathetic towards dating. I would rather wait when the opportunity arises.
Having a girlfriend would not have altered your inability to talk to women because that is simply your current persona. The only way to change that is by developing the confidence to do so. Personally I do not see the difficulty; they are no different than anyone else. I suppose I analyze too much however I view the asking out scene as a riskless gamble.
You currently have no girlfriend, yet want one. If you never approach a girl, this is not likely to change and if you do, what is the worst that can happen? Oh wow she may say no. So? It might hurt your pride but you will live however if she says yes, well congratulations. This is the essence of a riskless gamble, you lose absolutely nothing, yet can gain absolutely everything. Asking a girl out with that logic a quite simple once you think about it, that and the oh so lovable confidence.
I will admit, I wish I had participated more in outside activities however in the end I am content with how things have gone in the social front. You are correct, you only live once and I have spent my life doing what I love, playing RPGs/video games and writing. I am only twenty one and have plenty of time to date later. Right now I type this having watched my 200th+ hockey game and love it.