Poll: How do You Bring Home The Bacon?

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Darken12

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Apr 16, 2011
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I stab people with needles, steal their blood and feed it to machines powered by the souls of creationists. Then I print out a string of demon-runes that I give to my fellow torturers so that they might justify vivisecting and drugging people. And people pay us for it, because the alternative is agony and/or death.

I love my job.
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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Another student here, going to be for hopefully another six or so years.
mokes310 said:
I'm in the glamorous world of ESL in Korea. I teach middle and high school kids.
How is it over there? Haven't been in a while >.>.
 

Eleuthera

Let slip the Guinea Pigs of war!
Sep 11, 2008
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Darken12 said:
I stab people with needles, steal their blood and feed it to machines powered by the souls of creationists. Then I print out a string of demon-runes that I give to my fellow torturers so that they might justify vivisecting and drugging people. And people pay us for it, because the alternative is agony and/or death.

I love my job.
As a regular stabbee (I'm up for feeding the machine again tomorrow, here's hoping the runes are with me...), I appreciate those of your ilk who manage to get it right in one go. Too often I've been left to the administrations of those who seem to lack the ability to find my blood (Hint: it's inside me).
 

CrimsonBlack

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Mar 10, 2011
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I'd imagine a lot of the people here are Students/Young Professionals.

I'm a full-time mature biology student but I work weekends in a contact centre. You know, answering emails and phones for clients who offer weekend customer service. It's pretty simple work and what's great is when it's not busy I get to study. :D Nothing motivates a person more knowing they're getting paid by the hour to study.
 

EeveeElectro

Cats.
Aug 3, 2008
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I work in a bakery which I don't particularly like (could be worse I suppose) and I'm looking for something else, a job where even jobless scum don't laugh at you for working there and somewhere I'll be treat better.

I'd quite like to be a teacher/assistant/nursery nurse.
 

Darken12

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Apr 16, 2011
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Eleuthera said:
As a regular stabbee (I'm up for feeding the machine again tomorrow, here's hoping the runes are with me...), I appreciate those of your ilk who manage to get it right in one go. Too often I've been left to the administrations of those who seem to lack the ability to find my blood (Hint: it's inside me).
Oh yes, us techno-vampires can sometimes do a whoopsie or two. I mean, my aiming vastly improved once I updated my prescription glasses. Who knew that stabbing one millimetre to the left, for example, made all the difference? Though some of you folks have some scaredy veins. It's like you barely touch them with a sharp steel implement and they hide like cute little foxes. Though I imagine saying "Come out, come out, little ones! I just want to stab you a little!" isn't that persuasive.

Though really, may the runes be with you!
 

AngloDoom

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Aug 2, 2008
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Healthcare support worker biding time and wages to start my nursing training.

First nursing, then THE WORLD!
 

Darken12

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rhizhim said:
what about stiring pots full of shit to feed and breed deathspawn in the incubationsummoning chamber of pestilence?
Thankfully, I have avoided that one. I do not envy the staff that has to deal with the deathspawn. How they survive the infernal cacophonies of mind-shattering wailing is a complete mystery to me. Truly the Death Lord is watching over them.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
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I'm a proofreader for the government. They give me a paper, and I use a red pen to mark the errors. For instance, you're not supposed to use and ampersand; you're supposed to write out the word "and", so when I see an ampersand I write "DIE, EVIL APERSAND, DIE!"
 

Serinanth

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Apr 29, 2009
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*looks around the darkened office*

I guess this? Well this, the chive, cracked, the news, netflix and playing wow.

Technically I am an equipment specialist, I work for one of those big semiconductor companies, I go into the clean room (the bad place) and fix some fairly interesting equipment. One of them deposits a layer a glass 180 angstroms thick onto silicon wafers. Another uses lasers to measure that glass film. But I'm pretty good at my job and with the help of my team mates our machines run pretty well, so here I am most of the 12 hour night.

I definitely have some first world problems, I'm surfing the web and playing wow and getting mad money to do it but I'm so goddamned bored!
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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At the moment, I'm a librarian at a newly-formed university. I'm pretty much the cataloging department.

I have degrees in linguistics and anthropology. As you will likely notice, those are not the most lucrative of fields. I managed to get a part time job in the said library and performed well enough to be offered permanent employment. I attended seminars on basics of cataloging, library work and the software used to get me started. This fall I'll be starting college classes in Library and Information Services and hopefully get my degree in a few years.

It's not easy switching to a completely different career path and I'm not all that young anymore (29). Most people my age are already locked in their careers and I'm the only person I know who said "Fuck it!" and switched over to something different...
 
Jun 16, 2010
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Darken12 said:
I stab people with needles, steal their blood and feed it to machines powered by the souls of creationists. Then I print out a string of demon-runes that I give to my fellow torturers so that they might justify vivisecting and drugging people. And people pay us for it, because the alternative is agony and/or death.
I have a question, assuming what you're describing is a blood lab:

How are forensic samples handled? Does it make any difference?

I'm doing a course in criminal investigation, and they always mention the "blood & semen lab", but I'm wondering if there's any actual distinction between a forensic lab and a "normal" one.
 

Darken12

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James Joseph Emerald said:
I have a question, assuming what you're describing is a blood lab:
I am, I just left the Otherworld Filter(TM) on.

James Joseph Emerald said:
How are forensic samples handled? Does it make any difference?

I'm doing a course in criminal investigation, and they always mention the "blood & semen lab", but I'm wondering if there's any actual distinction between a forensic lab and a "normal" one.
Well, I assume this varies from country to country (and probably, in the US, from state to state), so take this with a pinch of salt:

The only forensic evidence I've personally handled (so far) has been urine for drug testing and blood for paternity testing. The only semen I've handled has been for standard fertility testing (spermogramme, bacterial culture, microscope analysis, the usual stuff), which has nothing to do with the law. In both cases, you have to follow some REALLY strict protocol, because anything that can be proven as a mishandling of the evidence can be grounds for a mistrial or just end up smearing the lab's good name. So in general, the biochemist in charge of the lab drops the paperwork and important administrative stuff they're currently doing and does the lab stuff themselves. The only exception has been the drug testing, which is so simple and common that we're allowed to do it ourselves (but we still have to notify them and they come and observe the results themselves, and often take it upon themselves to deliver the report).

In general, the forensic evidence an ordinary lab can handle depends on what sort of testing they do. Anything that involves forensic DNA testing is probably going to get sent to labs that have the equipment for it, which are generally labs that specialise in genetics (though not necessarily aimed at forensics). Urine drug testing is something any lab can do, as the equipment for doing so is really simple to use and even an untrained person can use them (they work somewhat like pregnancy sticks for urine). Serum drug testing is a bit more complicated, because while most labs probably have the necessary machinery for it, most don't bother buying the reagents for drug testing unless they have enough weekly samples to justify the cost (which means they will probably just pass it on to a lab that is known for doing that kind of thing). At the place I work, we only have the reagents for a handful of drugs, and they're not for forensics, but to monitor treatment (lithium, phenytoin, vancomycin).

And then there's also the fact that, for what I've heard from the biochemists that run the labs I've worked at, forensic stuff is generally something most blood labs avoid, since in general the risks of having a pack of wild, rabid lawyers coming down on you and dragging you and everything you've worked for through the mud, are rarely worth it.

So in general, most blood labs are going to pass on anything forensics related because they either don't have the equipment, don't have the reagents, or don't want to get involved in legal stuff, which means that some labs are going to be set up exclusively as forensic labs and will receive most of the forensic samples.

As for the "distinctions" there aren't that many. A machine that runs drug serum levels can also do stuff like HIV antibodies, oestrogen levels, CK-MB levels and so on, so a "normal" lab can buy it for some things and a forensic lab can buy it for others, with the difference being the type of reagents they buy. The equipment for DNA testing can also be repurposed for non-forensic things, like viral/bacterial DNA testing, or histocompatibility testing, genetics research and so on. Forensic toxicology equipment can be used for workplace toxicology, accidental toxicology, endemic toxicology and the like.

In the end, it's more of a "do I want to get involved in this sort of thing" decision for the people in charge of the labs, and for most of them, the answer is a "no."
 

mokes310

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Oct 13, 2008
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Nouw said:
Another student here, going to be for hopefully another six or so years.
mokes310 said:
I'm in the glamorous world of ESL in Korea. I teach middle and high school kids.
How is it over there? Haven't been in a while >.>.
Well, other than a few people being a BIT nervous, it's the same old same old. The bibimbap still tastes good, the hongeo still tastes like piss, and the beer is still absolute shit.
 

jklinders

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Sep 21, 2010
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I don't so much bring home the bacon as I fry it. I'm a cook. Seems to be literally the only thing the job market seems to think I'm good for.
 

floppylobster

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Oct 22, 2008
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I work at a video store. They still have those in my country. I live off the income of that and mainly from my long term girlfriend (12 years).
 

Shoggoth2588

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Aug 31, 2009
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Lucem712 said:
I, personally, work at a local detention centre (or jail, in un-fancy terms) contracted by a private cooperation. To be specific, I work commissary[footnote]We supply luxury goods, such as candies and brand name shampoos, and 'indigent' packs for inmates.[/footnote] . Basically, I come in for work in the morning, stock/restock the shelves, my boss prints off the orders and then we fill them. It isn't a huge facility but we pack around 200-300 bags and afterwards we deliver them directly to the inmates.

It's a pretty interesting work environment, working with the guards and serving inmates that always keep you on your toes.
That sounds interesting indeed...I'm doing virtually the same thing only pussified to a degree, instead of stocking shelves I...well I do stock shelves. I don't stock shelves for inmates anywhere though I stock shelves over night at a Target. 3 to 5 nights a week, depending on the week and, 4 to 8 hours per shift (though the schedule always has me down for 6...go figure). I can't really bring home much bacon...but there is swine to be had if I ever just decide to say "fuck it, I've saved enough for right now!"