Poll: How do you eat a burger?

[Stammer]

I start off eating all the excess bun so that I get more flavour towards the end. Then I keep turning it around and eating all the juicy parts (so nothing falls out) until the last bite which is usually near the middle!

And now I'm really, really hungry. Thanks a lot!

 

[Sacman]

David Hasselhoff style...

 

[Thespian]

I don't. Vegetarian.

 

[Loop Stricken]

I don't. Vegetarian.

Your experience has also been files into the pointless folder. We thank you for your contribution.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Cut with a knife and fork if it's a big one. If not I inject it directly into my veins!

 

[Vault boy Eddie]

I spiral the bejeezus out of it till theres nothing but air!

 

[PolarBearClub]

What an amazing thread. If it was on all types of food, I'd be in here for a long time, because I virtually never eat my food in a regular manner, i.e. from one end to the other. Say with chocolate, I'll try bite the biscuit off, or leave only the caramel or nougat behind.

With a burger, I tend to opt for the spiral method. The way I see, sometimes the edges of the burger get burnt, and are therefore the least enjoyable. So I'll spin it until only the centre is left, leaving the best for last!

 

[thylasos]

I hold it together as much as possible, eating from one side to the other, scraping a bit of sauce back in if it's all coming out.

As long as there's no dead animal in it.

 

[Mike Laserbeam]

I eat burgers the sort of standard way, I'd just call it the default burger technique (the others on the poll list being more fancy)

But a year or so back a friend of mine (named Reuben) - who at the time I had only just met - me and another mate (named Tom) went to McDonalds (fight the power) and Reuben showed us the strangest way to eat a Big Mac we had laid eyes on.
Basically he eats it layer by layer, folding each circle into a kind of taco shape then dipping it in ketchup and consuming. It was one of the oddest things I had ever seen and he did it like it was nothing. Me and Tom literally sat, mouths agape, staring as this event took place in front of us. We have since actually used this as some kind of spectacle to show other people, it always receives as much amazement as when we first saw it.

Strangest thing? He won't do it with any burger other than the Big Mac.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

Pretty Much like this.
(And yes, I had a video of Andy Warhol eating a hamburger ready for no apparent reason at all.)

 

[Smokej]

like the fat kid from hook

 

[silver wolf009]

Second option. To many shirts have been stained doing anything else.

 

[PureIrony]

With my mouth. Most of the time.

 

[RA92]

Second option. I'm a bit obsessive about my lettuce not falling off.

 

[game-lover]

The first one. It's just normal for me.

 

[Hectix777]

like the fat kid from hook

that's very specific

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

So it all depends on the bread? Or how greasy it is?

I'm thinking more on how loaded it is with its toppings. If it's really full, then things will begin falling out the sides. In that case, I rotate. If it's just got the bun and paddy, then this won't happen, and I eat straight through.

This is the only way I've ever eaten a burger. Although I'll ocassionally one hand it.

 

[evilstonermonkey]

In general I just eat it as normal (lift burger, place side of burger in mouth, bite, chew, swallow, return to step 1) but for some reason I do it differently at hungry jacks/burger king. I eat it layer by layer - take off the top piece of the bun, eat that, take off the tomato, eat that, take off the bacon, eat that... and so on. I don't do that anywhere else, but from hungry jacks I guess I just prefer the flavour of all the individual bits better than I do as a whole.

 

[Saelune]

I guess I do the ketchup route...mostly because I want to get the most ketchup per bite. However real burgers I dont eat the bun, and usually rip it in bits and dip the meat pieces in ketchup thats covered in pepper...

Edit: Im hungry...

 

[EllEzDee]

I think the western school system is going to need more hammers to HAMMER IN THE DIFFERENT HOMOPHONES TO THEIR THICK SKULLS.

ARGH.

And i haven't had a hamburger in a while, not since the shitty Burger King i went to took almost 10 minutes to finish my order and i got it cold. Wasn't even a busy day.
Don't think i have a method for eating it though, just like i don't have a method for breathing.