Poll: How do you eat a burger?

[winginson]

I eat it in whatever way keeps it together, usually leaving the area with most burger/cheese/bacon until last. mmmmmmmm.

 

[Mr. Google]

Back and forth. Take a bite, bite the pointy bit (because my bites are semi-circles, as should yours be) then eat the other pointy bit, then eat the middle once it's all straightened out, and repeat the cycle.



I also have a certain way I eat toast and pies.

My bites are triangles 0_o whats wrong with me!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Are you a bird? Birds bite in triangles because they have beaks.
Maybe you have a narrow/pointy mouth?

Haahaha no im just messing around. but that would be awesome if i was a bird

I sorta felt bad for a little bit. My cousin has an unusual jaw shape, he had to get it broken and reset to fix it. So I suppose that should have been, had an unusually shaped jaw. Anyway, yeah he got teased for it a little so I felt bad because I know it can be a soft spot for some people.

After reading my first post I sound like some jaw supremacist.

Oh god no hahahahaha I thought it was funny don't worry. And my jaw is perfect...well not perfect but its fine haha. I feel bad for your cousin though! well i guess that should be i would have felt bad for him.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Your experience has also been files into the pointless folder. We thank you for your contribution.

My apologies, I must just have been bitter because I don't get to post how I eat a burger, thus being immortalized in the hallowed halls of fame for evermore, like everyone else in this thread.

What was I thinking.

I don't know, but you definitely weren't thinking with portals burgers.

 

[Loop Stricken]

fork/knife i don't touch food after it's prepared especially in public

But...

... you're going to eat it. It's going to be put into your mouth, touching your lips, masticated and melted into a fine sluice in your intestines, and absorbed into you, along with whatever spry contaminants it yielded.

Unless what you're saying is your hands are exceptionally filthy, then I can only say you're fretting over nothing.

 

[RivFader86]

fork/knife i don't touch food after it's prepared especially in public

But...

... you're going to eat it. It's going to be put into your mouth, touching your lips, masticated and melted into a fine sluice in your intestines, and absorbed into you, along with whatever spry contaminants it yielded.

Unless what you're saying is your hands are exceptionally filthy, then I can only say you're fretting over nothing.

It's not about getting my food "dirty" ;P It's about keeping my hands from getting greasy...look at some people when they eat burgers...mustard on the nose ketchup on the sleeve mayo dripping onto their palm...eeech ;P

 

[Yarggg]

The first option. But the burger is gone by the time you blink.. (I'm not fat)

 

[Thespian]

I don't know, but you definitely weren't thinking with portals burgers.

That seems like a portal reference ruthlessly shoe-horned into your post. Or am I missing some clever wordplay?

 

[Nouw]

Usually all of each because not every burger is the same.

 

[superbatranger]

I unwrap the burger. I pick up said burger and proceed to wolf it down.

 

[Xixikal]

Usually bite and then check for condiment spillage, near the end I turn it upside down and finish it (because for some reason there is less of the bottom bun than the top bun, which is somewhat disconcerting).

 

[Chairman Miaow]

This just gave me an idea to conduct experiments on eating a burger upside down.

Insanity!

 

[Loop Stricken]

I don't know, but you definitely weren't thinking with portals burgers.

That seems like a portal reference ruthlessly shoe-horned into your post. Or am I missing some clever wordplay?

More like horse-shoed in.

Edit:

 

[Scarim Coral]

If I able to hold it then I bite my way through it in one direction (not turning it around). If it's a bigger burger like a Big Mac, I pretty much do everything I can to hold all of it in one piece.

 

[d3structor]

Cut it in half to make sure it is cooked properly. My friends say I should just ask them to put some raw beef on a bun.

I will then eat it while rotating the burger, starting from the newly cut side to make sure, again that the burger is to my liking.

By this point whatever sauce is on the burger will likely have moved the the edges and I may have to flip the burger and eat it while rotating in the opposite direction.

Should the first half of the burger be satisfactory I will finish the fries as I hate reheated fries.

If I am still hungry (I usually am) I will then finish the last half of the burger.

P.S. I hate fast food, would rather not eat anything for a day then go to McDonald's